Question about men

2

Replies

  • snakegoddess_3
    snakegoddess_3 Posts: 83
    Because women like an alpha male. He's confident, manly ( at least I hope), he has some sort of charisma, and theres just something about an alpha male that is attractive. The only problem with that is most of the time he's also a jerk. I would know I fall for these types. I fall for them because honestly I am an independant woman and mostly I can take what people throw at me and throw it back. I need a man to be able to do the same thing and not be threatened. But no matter what no one wants a jerk
  • dianeellen2
    dianeellen2 Posts: 259 Member
    I think it depends on the man and his friends

    Mine has taken our 2 children out for lunch and cinema along with his friend who has his 4 children with him - 2 x guys and 6 x children

    I dont think they will have much time to worry about being macho - LOL
  • Ro0kins_Wedding
    Ro0kins_Wedding Posts: 295
    *sudders to actually say this* To quote Avril Lavigne...

    I like, you the way you are
    When we're drivin' in your car
    And you're, talkin' to me one on one
    But you become

    Somebody else
    'Round everyone else
    Your watchin' your back
    Like you can't relax
    You tryin' to be cool
    You look like a fool to me

    I would say the same to Avril Lavgine as i'm saying to you. He is doing that because he is a ****. If he isn't proud to be with you then he isn't worth knowing.
  • CinJay
    CinJay Posts: 157 Member
    Men dont act like that, boys do.

    Exactly.

    I think you get the picture... I have dated "boys" but I married a "MAN"!!
  • timkdodson
    timkdodson Posts: 5
    Cuz They're MEN men MANLY men MEN IN TIIIIIGHTS!!!
  • angiemartin78
    angiemartin78 Posts: 475 Member
    Men dont act like that, boys do.

    ^^^^^^This! Once they are mature enough to know how to handle themselves in a relationship, it stops.
  • Kris0109
    Kris0109 Posts: 177 Member
    Girl, you nailed my question on the head ... and the subsequent posters nailed the answer.

    Now: Wait for the boy to grow up or cut losses and run??

    Exactly! LOL That's exactly what I'm wondering. I mean, he is extremely precious. He is sweet to me in front of people. Don't get me wrong. But, I do know that when I'm not around and depending on the subject..he acts like he is hard and doesn't go to the levels he does for me. He doesn't lie about how he is but in my opinion, he needs to tell his friends how he is towards me and teach them how to be. Just saying. :)

    I won't run. I love this "boy" as others are putting it. He just needs to man up.

    The guy I'm seeing now uses "being a man" as an excuse to run his mouth about all kinds of stuff to his friends. If they knew what a ridiculous cuddle freak he was, he'd lose all "cred". I guess it's up to us individual girlies to figure out what we'll put up with... but just rest assured you are not alone in this boat!
  • NoriDupuis
    NoriDupuis Posts: 26 Member
    agreed
    if a Man is a man and not a scared little child he can admit how he realy feels infront of his friends and in public places
    if he cant be affectnet in front of his friends and in public then he is ether being a child and u should not give him the time of day or he dose not have the same feelings and you should not give him he time of day! :p
  • NoriDupuis
    NoriDupuis Posts: 26 Member
    tight tights. running around the wood looks for fights. giggle love that movie
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
    They think it makes them sound weak. Would you really want your man to tell all his friends he is gushy mushy to you. I'm not sure I would want my man to do that. As long as they treat you right I wouldn't worry about it.

    This is just what I said to someone else. This is how I feel in reality. I just wanted opinions! :)
  • NoriDupuis
    NoriDupuis Posts: 26 Member
    Men dont act like that, boys do.
    agreed
    if a Man is a man and not a scared little child he can admit how he realy feels infront of his friends and in public places
    if he cant be affectnet in front of his friends and in public then he is ether being a child and u should not give him the time of day or he dose not have the same feelings and you should not give him he time of day! :p
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
    Insane amounts of immaturity. Still have the high school alpha male captain of the football team mentality.

    Here's another question...why do a lot of girls go for that type of guy? even though most of them complain about the way they act anyway

    Lol Idk. I have a couple sweet guys trying to talk to me but of course I go after and fall for the guy who is scared to commit and acts this way. :/ We are confusing creatures.
  • NoriDupuis
    NoriDupuis Posts: 26 Member
    Cuz They're MEN men MANLY men MEN IN TIIIIIGHTS!!!
    tight tights. running around the wood looks for fights. giggle love that movie
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
    Because women like an alpha male. He's confident, manly ( at least I hope), he has some sort of charisma, and theres just something about an alpha male that is attractive. The only problem with that is most of the time he's also a jerk. I would know I fall for these types. I fall for them because honestly I am an independant woman and mostly I can take what people throw at me and throw it back. I need a man to be able to do the same thing and not be threatened. But no matter what no one wants a jerk

    I love this answer, also. I fall for these types. I have fallen for this type, actually. I guess it if makes him feel manlier and confident then so be it...like I said...as long as he leaves it out the door when we're together. I can handle it. And, I'm very independent and stubborn. If he doesn't try controlling me and treats me right, then we're okay. :)
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
    *sudders to actually say this* To quote Avril Lavigne...

    I like, you the way you are
    When we're drivin' in your car
    And you're, talkin' to me one on one
    But you become

    Somebody else
    'Round everyone else
    Your watchin' your back
    Like you can't relax
    You tryin' to be cool
    You look like a fool to me

    I would say the same to Avril Lavgine as i'm saying to you. He is doing that because he is a ****. If he isn't proud to be with you then he isn't worth knowing.

    Love that song! :) lol
    He is himself to me and around his friends. He has a "jerky" attitude but that's just him and that's just the type of guy of crazy girls go after.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
    Girl, you nailed my question on the head ... and the subsequent posters nailed the answer.

    Now: Wait for the boy to grow up or cut losses and run??

    Exactly! LOL That's exactly what I'm wondering. I mean, he is extremely precious. He is sweet to me in front of people. Don't get me wrong. But, I do know that when I'm not around and depending on the subject..he acts like he is hard and doesn't go to the levels he does for me. He doesn't lie about how he is but in my opinion, he needs to tell his friends how he is towards me and teach them how to be. Just saying. :)

    I won't run. I love this "boy" as others are putting it. He just needs to man up.

    The guy I'm seeing now uses "being a man" as an excuse to run his mouth about all kinds of stuff to his friends. If they knew what a ridiculous cuddle freak he was, he'd lose all "cred". I guess it's up to us individual girlies to figure out what we'll put up with... but just rest assured you are not alone in this boat!

    Lol That's too funny. I guess you're right. If I were a man, I wouldn't run and tell my guys how my girl and I snuggled and watched chick flicks and then how I bought her Breaking Dawn for Vday and blah, blah! LOL :) This makes me feel better. Thanks :)
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    Lol That's too funny. I guess you're right. If I were a man, I wouldn't run and tell my guys how my girl and I snuggled and watched chick flicks and then how I bought her Breaking Dawn for Vday and blah, blah! LOL :) This makes me feel better. Thanks :)

    This wasn't what your OP was about. It was how he behaves with you AND his friends around. When I was younger, I didn't call up my guy friends and tell them I spent the evening snuggling. I also didn't treat my girlfriends like **** when they were around either.

    Guys that have girlfriends understand when their male friend acts softer when his girlfriend is around. It is the guys that don't have a girl that don't get it. And for them, your BF should respond "at least I am getting some." That usually shuts them up.
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
    Men dont act like that, boys do.

    to follow up on this, I think all boys do this until they become a man. I'm guilty of it and you know how I got past it. I had a woMAN set my punk azz straight on the deal. Some times it just takes a little kick in the butt for a boy to get his head out of his azz and the woman has to do that for him. My girlfriend and now wife of 20 years did it for me. Got me out of the hardcore biker lifestyle and I quit drinking too. Love that woman till death do us part!!!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I am just curious. Why do men try to act "hard" in front of their friends about relationships but then act lovey-dovey and sweet to your face?

    I have asked a friend this same question and her response was "that's jus thow men are..".

    Does it make a man feel better about himself to not admit that he's sweet, loving and actually does think about his significant other?

    I am just curious in general about this. Men act like females are confusing, and we are..but, men can be, too! For me anyways!

    I absolutely do not act one way in front of my friends and another way with my wife. I joke a lot about my relationship, but it's always an obvious joke and it is usually directed at myself. None of my friends act this way either.
  • phinners
    phinners Posts: 524 Member
    Men dont act like that, boys do.
    ^This

    My husband doesnt act hard to anyone or in front of anyone. He is exactly the same with his friends, peers and family - and is the same with me, except he is very shy with other people including those mentioned but isnt with me. But he doesnt get all manly or any of that macho BS. That so isnt him.

    Any chap that acts that way is probably a little bit insecure and doesnt really know much etiquette (sp) or how to behave in society. He also sounds like a ****. Not my sort of man at all. I have a Gentleman for a husband, I'n the luckiest girl in the world. I wish all women had a fella like mine. There'd be no heart ache in the world at all.

    I like a Gentleman, not a 'bloke'.
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
    Men dont act like that, boys do.


    ^^this
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
    Lol That's too funny. I guess you're right. If I were a man, I wouldn't run and tell my guys how my girl and I snuggled and watched chick flicks and then how I bought her Breaking Dawn for Vday and blah, blah! LOL :) This makes me feel better. Thanks :)

    This wasn't what your OP was about. It was how he behaves with you AND his friends around. When I was younger, I didn't call up my guy friends and tell them I spent the evening snuggling. I also didn't treat my girlfriends like **** when they were around either.

    Guys that have girlfriends understand when their male friend acts softer when his girlfriend is around. It is the guys that don't have a girl that don't get it. And for them, your BF should respond "at least I am getting some." That usually shuts them up.

    My OP was just basically asking why they act hard in front of friends but sweet when alone. I didn't mean in front of friends while I'm around, also.
  • Miss_dannii
    Miss_dannii Posts: 1,351 Member
    Men dont act like that, boys do.

    Ding ding ding
  • inetgirl
    inetgirl Posts: 174 Member
    Men dont act like that, boys do.

    This^^
  • becca3211
    becca3211 Posts: 98 Member
    Men dont act like that, boys do.







    LOVE THIS!
  • TexasRaised89
    TexasRaised89 Posts: 204 Member
    Men dont act like that, boys do.


    Couldnt have said it better!
  • jenniebean1680
    jenniebean1680 Posts: 350 Member
    Girl, I have a LOT of questions about men.

    But 'societal norms' is the answer to this one.

    What would your opinion be about a girl who never talked about her feelings, or about the ups and downs of her relationships, had no desire to chat on the phone or via text or on twitter about much of anything, played football, drank beer, burped loudly, lifted heavy weights and bragged about her strength and muscle size... ? etc etc.

    You'd likely think she was not very feminine, at the very least. That's because we have feminine 'norms', too.

    For both genders, there are many who feel the need to follow the strictures of this norm for fear of being labeled negatively (for men: pansy, homo, etc.. women: butch, gross... whatever.). For some, this fear is pretty strong. For others, that's really just how they are, without thinking about it. That's what societal conditioning does. We act in certain ways without knowing why. We just do.

    That said, bending societal norms can be FUN!

    As a woman who feels comfortable enough w/ her own femininity to burp right along w/ the guys while we watch football and drink beer, and who is damn proud to know her way around the free-weights area of the gym, and who is known to flex at any opportunity... I get off on being 'other'. :)
  • gaberieger
    gaberieger Posts: 69
    I disagree with the common response. Many PEOPLE (predominantly men but not just men) don't open up emotionally except to their partner. They have their public persona and they have their softer persona. Nothing wrong with that. So they might have a bit of a tough front that gets them through the day, that doesn't mean they can't crumple in a heap on the couch with their partner at the end of it.
    This... is a good answer and true.

    I've been through a bit- and I never let my shield down or armor fail when I am out in the "wild". But once I get comfortable with someone, yah that shield lowers some and I take that outer layer of knight armor off... and... crumple to the couch.
  • gaberieger
    gaberieger Posts: 69
    That said, bending societal norms can be FUN!
    This. It is in my best interest to try and "relate" and understand how women think. :)
  • SerenityGelsinger
    SerenityGelsinger Posts: 80 Member
    Insane amounts of immaturity. Still have the high school alpha male captain of the football team mentality.

    Here's another question...why do a lot of girls go for that type of guy? even though most of them complain about the way they act anyway

    I had a boyfriend who was a complete jerk and this was one of his qualities (the sweet to your face etc). That was in high school.

    I have married a wonderful man who treats me the same no matter who is around, and if his friends tease him that's their problem.

    The second question in the quote is also a good one! I'm glad I am no longer one of those women!
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