who here worries about getting older?
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My motto: I want to die young, at a very old age.
I had a wonderful career and many memories to look back upon, raised 4 great kids. Now, I am in my 60s and having the time of my life. I work for a health club 3 days a week for chump change, do a bunch of volunteer work, teach one college class, and take a couple of classes myself - being older is a ball. I'm smarter, free-er, and have the time to do what I want to do. I don't have to prove anything to anyone - indeed, my wish is to be struck dead by falling space junk while jogging .... on my 90th. birthday.
These are the kind of things that put me at ease when I hear them, I always make myself look to the future with hope that everything I do now will pay off. I cannot wait for the times I am free of the grind of schooling and work and can enjoy the fruit of my labour. But, on my way to those times, I am having a blast by taking on things I never imagined, getting in shape, and just being grateful each day that I have the opportunity.0 -
I used to worry about getting older. 31 was a sad birthday because I was no longer attached by proxy to the 20s anymore. I remember looking back and thinking I'd never have the energy and body that I had at 21... But then I realized that when I hit 41, I'd look back and wish I had my 31 yr old body, so maybe I should stop dwelling on the past and look forward to today. I think I'm actually healthier than I was at 21, even if my joints sometimes don't agree.
And I second another poster. I struggled with acne and wrinkles until I started living cleaner. Your skin really does reflect what you put in your body. I nixed the soda and upped the water, added some carrots and baby greens, and even though I'll never have A+ skin due to scarring, I can at least go to work without makeup and still get compliments on how my skins glows.
I had a good time when I was younger. I did lots of crazy stuff, I didn't settle down and have kids too soon, and I think I've planned it out to where if I keep on taking care of myself, I'll have a good 15 years after the kids are out of the house to blow their inheritance on trips and such.
Don't dwell on what's behind you, just grab the horns of what ahead, because that is something you can control!0 -
Cause I sure do. I'm 25 in 5 months time and i have done bugger all with my life, going from job to job. I've applied for a childcare course to start in September, but I'm not sure it's really what I want to do until I retire. My partner said I'd be good at it. But then again, what else am I gonna do! I've been thinking what do for the last 5 years. I started a make up course last year, was going to start a psychology course round about now, but cancelled it due to thinking im too dumb for it.
It's not just that what's getting me down. It's my face. I can see a lot of difference. Wrinkles appearing round the eyes. Dull grey skin. I cant go out without make up cause I look ill. I have to wear at least foundation if im popping to the shop. For work, full make up. I want to feel comfortable. My partner thinks I look better without make up. I don't know what planet he's on!
When I have kids, I don't want to pass on my insecurites to them. I was bullied at school, always being told I was ugly and it still sticks. I wish I didn't look the way I did. I look at girls in magazines and in the street, even on here, and wish I was them
Before I know it I'll be 35.
I feel like I wrote this. I turn 24 in 4 months and I just bought ANTI AGING CREAM last night! Ugh! My boyfriend also thinks I look better without make-up. He. is. crazy.0 -
I'm 51 in April and I'm still not sure what I want to do when / if I grow up.
I really don't think of it as growing older, I look at it as growing up and I'm enjoying it immensely.
I'm a better skier than I've ever been in the 35 years I've been doing it. I'm a better (amateur) musician than I've been in the 35 years I've been doing that. I truly believe that I'm a better father than my own father was. I may not be a high-level executive of a huge corporation as some of my school classmates now are, but I'm better at my (lowly, by some standards) job than I've ever been.
I've kicked tobacco and alcohol addictions and am healthier and fitter than I've ever been in my life, seriously.
So getting older...? Look at all those years you have in front of you as opportunities to get better, to learn new things, to make new friends, to experience new experiences. There's a lot of fun to be had out there and if you play your cards right you can do some good while you have that fun.
You're only old once you stop learning and exploring, once you cease to embrace the adventure that is life. And just because it's a different adventure for you than it is for someone else, that doesn't mean your adventure can't be as fulfilling as theirs is.
Oh, and those wrinkles? I've been to a lot of funerals and I've never heard anyone say of the deceased, "But she had wrinkles when she was 25!".0 -
i worry about my weight, i worry keeping my job, i even worry that an asteroid the size of texas will smash into the earth, but i have never worried about getting older. Im in my 40s and its pretty cool0
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As you get older you will realize what is more important and many of those fears will disappear. This day that you have now you will wish to have back to enjoy so live every min of it making wonderful memories..I am more secure in myself in my 40's than I ever was in my 20's. I heard this would happen and it did. As far as a job you may want for a lifetime, do something you love and have passion for..Is it animals, helping people, creating things? ..only you know the true answer...do some soul searching and I am sure you will never regret it! Best of luck!0
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The only thing that scares me about getting old is getting REALLY old. I worked in an assisted living home and it was so sad to see some of these amazing people who had Alzheimer's. One of the residents was sure she was friends with my mom and introduced me to her daughter every time she came in, which was several times a week. I just went along with it. Honestly working with the elderly was HILARIOUS. The nurse that was supposed to take my place when I was leaving was a bit on the heavy side and one of the ladies who was very active her entire life (still playing sports into her 50's or 60's at least) looked at her and said "Honey you are too pretty to be so big" All I could do was laugh. I LOVED working with the Alzheimer's pts. I believe it takes a special kind of person to be able to work at a place that cares for people like that and everyone should be doing it. People are under the impression that nurses make a boat load of money, not so much. Its a decent living but its such a high stress job and more times than not you are someone's emotional punching bag. I get it though, if my mom or dad had to be in a home they would prob have an alarm for whenever I entered the facility because I would prob be a bit of a ***** if I didn't think my parents were getting the care they deserved. Actually I know I would be. I'm like a momma bear when it comes to my patients (even threatned to call and yell at an attending at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital because they would give one of my pts pain med when he had meningitis. The doc I worked for opted to call because he knew I wouldn't be nice at all) so I'm sure I will be about a million times worse with my own family. Anyway getting older is better than the alternative. I'd rather be on this side of the grass.0
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I'm not afraid of getting older. Actually, I like being 42 because I don't have to worry about things I used to, like dating, having to care for babies, being stuck in a bad marriage, etc. I have had some unusual experiences, and I've been able to use those to my advantage. I've never felt especially young intellectually or emotionally, probably because of my background, and I've always felt proud of how strong I am in spite of my challenges. I have accomplished quite a bit in spite of myself!
That said, I wish I could love my body, but fighting weight and self image problems all my life, I have never been able to reach that goal. Usually I look in the mirror and see something I don't like looking at, and when I see photos of myself, it's even worse. I could lose a gazillion pounds and probably still feel this way, but it's not necessarily about aging. If I could get plastic surgery (afford it and justify it in my own mind), I would. A whole body lift and skin reconditioning would be awesome (in theory). It would be better for my self esteem and help my depression, I think. And for health reasons, removing things like inherited saddle bags would also help my knees and hips, which have been in poor shape since my early twenties because I have been overweight on and off my whole life. I am in at least mild pain a lot, which I mostly ignore, but of course, am not fond of. Again, though, I don't see that as an aging thing, since I have lived with it most of my adult life.
Overall, I would say, get philosophical about the aging process. It's interesting. Hang out with older people who are dynamic and productive. And try to think of your current experiences as training for the various periods of your life. And if you have health problems, mentally and/or physically, address them the best you can. You've got a lot to contribute to the world, no matter what age you are!0 -
I worry about it too.0
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With age comes experience! Embrace it, you can't stop it!!0
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i have a huge fear of aging...i guess since ppl always thought i was older than my age and it has caused problems for me
i have to wear makeup anyway, as i have acne still.
anyway, i like to look up to women like christie brinkley...it makes me feel a little better.
it just sucks that a womans worth is so often based on her appearance/youth
i hope one day they create a backward aging formula and/or android things we can live in >.<0 -
I'm 47 and the best shape of my life. I don't feel old at all. I'm loving it right now!0
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Who doesn't worry about getting older? lol :P0
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As you get older you will realize what is more important and many of those fears will disappear. This day that you have now you will wish to have back to enjoy so live every min of it making wonderful memories..I am more secure in myself in my 40's than I ever was in my 20's. I heard this would happen and it did. As far as a job you may want for a lifetime, do something you love and have passion for..Is it animals, helping people, creating things? ..only you know the true answer...do some soul searching and I am sure you will never regret it! Best of luck!
^^^ this
definately do something you are passionate about. there is no way i could ever see myself not being a nurse. if you find something you are interested in ask if you can job shadow. really get a taste for it and see if it is what you want to do. don't ever think you are too dumb to do something. you never know until you try and if you fail at least you fail knowing you tried it. i have had dr's talk to me like i am stupid because i'm "just a nurse" i really want to say "you know what eff you. i'm not a dr because i don't want to be, not because i'm not smart enough. i hardly studied in nursing school and passed just fine" do what makes you happy and screw everyone else. in the end you are the only one who will ALWAYS be there no matter what. just do what makes you happy and everything else will fall into place. i'm not sure why my boss is a dr but i do think that she regrets missing out on having a family because she was too career driven. so she is a successful doctor but has no one to come home to at night.0 -
You guys knock it off! I'm 41 and I notice changes in my body every day. I look back and worry... I look forward and worry... I think about all the things my best friend and I were going to do and haven't because "life happened"!
Here is my one piece of true advice because I have made about every mistake you can in life. If you wait for the perfect time to do something it will never happen. Go out and live. I'm not saying that you should risk everything to have fun, (don't take stupid chances) but go live life as much as you can. Do whatever you're interested in so that one day you can say you did things before you couldn't do things because of your body. ~~ There's my basic answer so you can stop here or read on for deeper details~~
What do I mean by this?? The first "traditional" years of my life sucked! I saved money while my friends partied (hated it), I went to college because I was told I had to (hated every second of it). I bought the safe practical car (whoopee). I worked "good" corporate office jobs to the point that I wanted to throw up when I pulled into the parking lot in the morning and I developed an ulcer. I felt old and dead at 25.
Since then (the past 15 years) I said that tradition can bite me! What's the use of being the good guy all the time and essentially knowing what the rest of my life holds until I die?? Now everything I do has a purpose.. and end game. I still do things I don't like sometimes, but it is only part of a plan to move me forward. Do I like dieting and exercising all the time? HELL NO! But I'm a foodie and wine lover, so I know I need to be healthy to enjoy other things I like. As for the rest of my life... remember those last 15 years I was talking about?? Am I completely satisfied? No. Do I hunger for things I don't have yet? YES! But in the mean time... here are some of the things I've added to my life by just deciding to live: I Have a 2nd degree black belt in 1 martial art and 1st degrees in 3 others, I train with police and SWAT, I love food and wine, I cook, I have a great palate, I have 2 degrees, am a certified Vet Tech, I ride horses, motorcycles, I skydive, I snorkle, I have begun to travel, I kayak, rock climb, mountain bike, ski, I am trying to learn 2 languages... I am constantly in motion to fill up my need for life.
Do I still worry about my age... yup. But I sure don't look 41 and sometimes I forget for a little while.0 -
It's not the years, it's the miles.
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Not me!! I am 32 and in the best shape of my life and will continue to do so the rest of my life!!! eat right and exercise and you will be good to go!!0
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When I was 25, OP, I felt super young! You have your whole life ahead of you! No way should you worry about getting older.
For me, now that I'm 43, I am starting to look a lot older and it definitely is depressing. The skin around my eyes is wrinkled and thin. I'm for sure going to need some work done soon, lol0 -
I will be 26 this July. I think I would have been more concerned by this if I didn't have my daughter - who will be three a few days after my birthday. Your focus kinda shifts when you have children I guess.
Oh and the worst part of turning 25 is filling out a survey and hovering over the "16-24" box then realising that you now have to tick the "25-40" box!!0 -
Please stop with the OMG horror of getting 'older', it is useless worrying about it because it's a fact of life :huh:
For those of us shackled to a desk for 8 hours, work on changing it or deal with it and look at what you can do with the other hours. Nothing I had planned as a child has come to fruition and guess what I couldn't be more pleased. My plan was to be a doctor, no kids, just me and a couple of pets...Boring
I turned 50 in January and allowed myself a moment of "what have I done with my life".
Then I realised I have done the most important thing...I Have LIVED:happy:
During my trip down the road called life, I discovered, I am strong, resilient and capable of dealing with life's issues. Do I get sad, angry, frustrated? You bet your *kitten* I do, BUT more than anything I get to smile and laugh every day and most importantly I get to love, nature, people, things and that includes me.
So stop worrying about wrinkles (they're called laughter lines , the body sagging a little ( my doctor calls it the mummy tummy lol). Have I made big mistakes? Yep, Will I make more? Yep Will I learn from them? Maybe and maybe not...who cares.
The adventure so far has been amazing, in June I head overseas by myself for another adventure woohoo
What we are doing with our time here, should be the question, so go on get out there and LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE :flowerforyou:
There is so much I want to do, I have no intention of heading to the pearly gates until I darn well ready :bigsmile: So with that in mind I'm thinking of 120 or 150 in years so at 50 I'm really only a kid still
^^^THIS Times 10^^^^
47 this year and can't wait. I feel like my life is just beginning and I can't wait to see where my path leads me,,,,all of it..good. bad and the ugly.
BTW Love your profile pic :-)0 -
I am 32 (I think...), not exactly an old age pensioner, but because I work with lots of younger than me people - only 3 other people in my department are older than me (both my superior advisor and team leader, and I think even my manager!, are younger than me) - I feel very old and feel like I can't go out anymore and party with the rest of them. They are all off in their own teen/early 20's dream world, and I'm just trudging through my life with no hobbies, save for the laptop, and in my own eyes, I don't see that changing. For example, their future is 'What shall I do for my 21st birthday?!' or 'OMG I drank too much last night! LOLZ - where are we going tonight to do the same?'. My future is 'Will I ever be able to save enough money to buy the house with a garden I've always wanted?' That's what getting older means...dreams change and in my case due to current circumstances, seem to never be achievable.
I worry for the future, getting older. I have no special skills, so the only thing I can hope to achieve in my life is that I have created the child that will one day do something special with her own life.
I feel exactly like this. Minus the child. I don't have kids and am a little worried my window is passing, but I am really not ready for it.0 -
When I was 25 I remember feeling a bit depressed about it - people kept telling me I'd lived 'a quarter of a century'. I had a child and I felt that my youth had gone.
However, since then... at 29 I had my second child, at 32 I went to university, at 36 I got my first degree, at 38 I changed my life round completely, got divorced and remarried, at 42 I got a postgrad, at 46 I got my doctorate, I'm 51 now and really enjoying my life.
I've now lived more than half a century and I wouldn't want to back to being 25 again. Look at the sorts of experiences you have to look forward to if you set out with a will to achieve them. You have most of your life ahead of you girl! And in my opinion, the better part of it
As for wrinkles and poor skin - if you eat a clean healthy diet and drink lots of water, get plenty of sleep and have a good cleansing, toning and moisturising regime (doesn't need to be expensive stuff) and eat lots of vegetables and fruits (which contain antioxidants to prevent aging) then your skin will improve.
My skin still looks great at 51 because I've done the above.
To answer your question - do I worry about it? No! Life is short and you only get one chance at it. So if you aren't living the life you want then it's in your power to change it. Good luck!
Yes, pay attention to us 'older posters'. I am 61 and considering being partially retired this year and working part time. Time to party with DH before his back problems make it too difficult for him to take long motorcycle trips.. Hope to do several this year. We all have bad times in our lives, it is cyclical (pardon my spelling). I married at 24 divorced at 30 married again at 32. Raised 3 beautiful daughters, lost our eldest to cancer when she was 38. Have 7 grand kids. I have to say though, 60 was the toughest birthday, I had just lost my brother, eldest daughter and a dear friend to cancer in a matter of 6 weeks after my birthday. Talk about facing your own mortality! I have worked several careers. Actually finished my first degree at 49 and the 2nd at 55. Life is a journey, not the destination. I just ordered my 'midlife crises car' to kick off this next phase of life and plan to continue to say woo hoo what a ride (in my new red dodge charger). I believe I definately improved with age and for the record, so has the sex LOL0 -
James Taylor said it best in a song:
"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time. . . "
Really, folks, we're looking for happiness in the wrong way today. As a teen 25+ years ago, I'd never even heard of a "bucket list", and now even young people have them, and feel like they are not fulfilled unless they have done certain things. Many years ago we were content (notice I said content, not estatic, jubilant, etc) to have the things we need--food, shelter, clothing, a few friends and loved ones. Now we have to reach all these standards!
Sometimes I think that young people today don't want to grow up because it will mean taking responsiblilty, tough choices, not putting self first, etc. I worry about this for my own teens, based on things they say. Sure, it is tough to be an adult, but let me say that being an adult, being responsible, doing things for others, etc, although it is not always easy and doesn't always give immediate happiness, it gives a true feeling of satisfactioin and fulfillment. Folks, lets change the definition of happiness!0 -
I don't know if men worry about aging as much as women, but I can tell you that turning 25 bothered me more than any birthday since, and I'm going to be 48 in a few weeks. Fifty might be a different story, but we'll see when I get there. I don't know why 25 bothered me so much. Yes, some of the changes over the years suck, but you adapt and go on with life. I think one of the changes that occurs over the years is an acceptance that we're getting older and there is nothing we can do about it but try to stay as fit and active as possible. At least that's what I'm trying for.0
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I'm scared of getting older too. And in the gay world, 25 is basically death. So I only have a good 3 years left. lol.
Getting older is death in the job world too. Ageism and weight descrimination exist, and it's nearly impossible to prove.
People want to hire young thin people, because they can get away with paying them almost nothing.0 -
Oh man!! LOL Ok so when I was in my early 20's, I wondered if I'd make it to my 30's....I turn 30 Saturday and when I look back at all the bull****, drama, heartache, and struggle, it only makes me excited for what is to come because.....
My life has changed, my body has changed, my mind is changing...and things are getting better by the day.
My goal is to age gracefully and leave behind a positive energy. Aging is just part of living so live it up.0 -
I get worried when I realize how quick my kids are growing up. My baby is 5 in April and starts all day school in August. I just try to enjoy each moment as it happens and try not to get freaked out.
I'm a worry wart and I can only imagine the damage I've done to my body from being stressed and worried all the time.0 -
I will be 41 this year, but I distinctly remember being in my 20s, going through what you are going through. I honestly think the "mid-20's crisis" is just as common as the "mid-life crisis". Although inside I still feel 23 sometimes, or 34, or even 12, when I am truly objective looking in the mirror I know I am 40!! But you know, it doesn't bother me as much as Ithought it would. In a way it is a relief, I know I look 40, so I don't waste too much time worrying about stopping the progression of time or what people think, because it's obvious I'm 40, who cares!? Plus I don't have to deal with the harrassment that anymore that pretty much every young women has to deal with. I feel like I get respect now, or at least am "invisible" when I walk past a construction site lol 25 is such a great age, you are still at your prime physically, and you have many years to have kids, have adventures, whatever. I remember spotting my first few gray hairs around age 24. I freaked out. But something interesting happened when I was greiving for my dad 11 years ago. I felt raw and transparent, like people could just look at me and I couldn't hide-that my pain was so obvious. But also, I began really examining others, and thinking about how their life experiences molded not only their personalities but their bodies and faces. I came to the conclusion that we EARN our gray hairs and wrinkles. They are signs that we have lived, loved, lost, tried, failed, etc. Now, of course I would love to have a 20 year old body, and while I don't want the illnesses of old age, aging itself doesn't bother me as much. One of my best friends for the last 15 years is now in her mid 80s, but her personality is such that she "keeps me young"! It's all about attitude.
That being said, I do have a few pieces of advice/regrets. I had the same trouble as you, figuring out what I wanted to do as a career. I spent the first ten years or so working as a park ranger around the country, which was pretty fun, but I always wanted to go back to school. I felt like I had just fallen into the park ranger career, and I felt like I never really completed anything. So I went back to school in my mid 30s, took out a bazzillion dollars in student loans for a career that I thought would make more money, but I am now making less money than I did when I was a park ranger. As far as school goes, I totally agree with finding your passion, but sometimes that takes awhile, and your passion may change. Don't worry too much about finding your passion in a career. I discovered late in life when I had a daughter (age 37) that my life passion is being a mommy, and that I am passionate about various hobbies, but still have not gotten completely passionate about any career. I would recommend picking a career that will give you flexibility, the ability to find a job anywhere, and that doesn't cost too much in schooling. I wish I had picked nursing. As far as kids go, I had tons of great adventures and really enjoyed myself in my 20s and 30s, and don't regret it, but after having my daughter I wish I had had kids earlier, because at my age its biologically much harder to have more. But in my case, I didn't get married til my mid 30s, so kids werent really an option anyway. So if you want kids at all, don't waste too many ears trying to figure out career passions, although I would get a good stable job and married before you have em! :-)0 -
I'm 39... and I do my best to try and continue to feel young. Things are just that much tougher to do than when I was in my 20s... and RECOVERING from them is the worst!!! LOL :laugh:0
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And this quote made me laugh. Though I'm not gay, I think I can safely say you will survive the milestone of 25, as have lots of gay and straight people before you!! There are plenty of 26, 36, and 86 year old gay people (or straight) out there dating and in relationships. Don't worry about it! I remember being in college and there were a few "weird" students in their 30s at college. 25 seemed so old and uncool. Then I turned 25, 30, 40 whatever, and life still goes on. As others have said, getting older beats the alternative! What might happen when you turn 25 or around there, you may find that you no longer really relate to those aquaintances who think "25 is death", they bore you, and you will probably be very happy to move on to the next phase of your life and have some less superficial relationships, with some hot 28 year olds lolI'm scared of getting older too. And in the gay world, 25 is basically death. So I only have a good 3 years left. lol.0
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