Question for the divorced daters.....

I've been separated since last March and will be divorced in April. But, my marriage was over long ago.....emotionally abusive situation that took me a while to get the strength to actually leave. But to a large degree, I felt like I mourned the loss of the relationship long before I actually left. I've spent the past year learning how to become independant again, making my own decisions, getting stable on my own two feet. But it's only been recently that I've really started wanting male companionship again. Not just the physical aspect but also just being with a man in general. I've poked around online a bit. But I need to get myself in the mindset to just date for FUN not date for a longterm relationship. (If it happens, it happens -- but I think anyone coming out of a long term relationship/divorce SHOULD take some time rediscovering the opposite sex. Figuring out what they want this next time around, what works and what doesn't work, etc.) I've never been the type to just date for the sake of dating. I've always had the goal of happily ever after. But for now, I am in no rush to get into happily ever after. Just would be happy finding an honest, respectful guy who treated me right.

I don't think there is any set timeline of when it's ok to date again. Depends on each personal situation.

Only YOU will know when the time is right to date. It took me two years to finally start dating and then once I got out there I realized dating was not what it used to be. I tried a few dating sites also and those were big fails. Now I am just letting it happen on its own. I am sure I will meet someone when the time is right. Good luck to you!!

Same story here. I've found that I'm at an age where most of the men that I'd be interested in dating are either already married or they just aren't interested in me for one reason or another. I certainly wouldn't advise anyone to go out and rush into a relationship after a divorce, but you don't want to wait too long either.

After my divorce I was like you a few dates here and there but didn't really see anyone serious until two years after divorce it had been over a year before divorce. And honestly the only reason I think I seriously dated again and got married was because my husband was my first love so that's y I think it was so easy because if it weren't for him I think I would still be single

im curious
- did you decide to get healthier after the divorce?
- did you decide to get healthy and realize you wanted a total life change and get divorced?
- did they have nothing to do with each other?

For me the divorce motivated me to change everything else, including my job and (eventually) my unhealthy lifestyle. My life had stagnated for years and I resisted change because the consequences were too difficult, but once I was free I was so thirsty for change.

After a horrible marriage and my walking papers, I met my best friend and ended up marrying him about 2 1/2 years after the divorce. We weren't looking for a relationship other thn friendship, but things happened and I thank God for it. :happy:

After the divorce and a brief moment of insanity (I gave it one more shot with the ex-husband to see if we could make it work... NOT), I made a vow to myself that I would rather be alone than to settle for something less than I wanted. I was not about to waste any more time trying to find someone decent. It was like picking fresh green beans at a farmer's market. No thank you!

So, I was not looking and officially off the market because it was all about me and my life. I was going to enjoy doing things for myself and myself alone. I was fine with that and began to have fun with it. Then...

I met the most wonderful man that became a friend and then my husband. It happened by chance. You see, he's a mortgage officer that was doing some professional networking on-line. I, being an insurance agent, was someone that approached. Needless to say, we started talking about things other than insurance & houses. We discovered that we had a lot in common. We would talk for hours on the phone each night. He lived about 2 hours away, so it wasn't like we saw each other at that point.

We became friends and we made each other laugh. Then it happened. I realized that I loved this man that I had never met in person. We talked about meeting and decided to take it slow and easy. Yeah, right. One look at him and I knew it as soon as I took a look into his eyes. I had found my soulmate.

Its been almost 5 years since we've been married. Would have I done it differently? Nope. I honestly feel that it was because I was single and not looking that the man of my dreams was able to find and approach me.

Don't settle for anything less than what you truly deserve.

Best of luck to you!!

There is no set time.. I would just go out and let life happen...but def would have a booty call on speed dial! Just sayin! No need to go it alone ...

When I split up, I tried internet dating straight away. Looking back it was a reaction to the idea that if my ex didn't want me, then there were plenty of others who did. I did the loads of first dates, like most people, met some nice ladies and one or two bunny boilers. After about 6 months of that, I started another relationship, but that didn't last 12 months.

I had to check how long I had been divorced recently and it surprised me, as did the length of time since I last dated!

I've almost sorted my health issues. Finances are looking in better shape but I'm in no rush to get back into the dating scene - all that pressure and there's the thought that most women who might give me a second glance will be grandmothers.

Not that this is an issue, I'd prefer to be aiming for M*lfs!

I always try to line the next talent up before I let the previous talent go.

You need one of these

I am up to three of these now!!!

I have a question for everybody....I've never been married, so I can't say I've been divorced. I've had a few long term relationships, and at times thought about marriage, but never went through with it. Why do marriages so often not work? I am going through a very rough patch with my current boyfriend,and don't know if it is worth it to stay together. We have been dating for 5 years. Any advice, or words of encouragment for me?!?!