Too many friends?
interceptor311
Posts: 980 Member
Any thoughts on how many friends someone should have on this site? I have been here just a week and already have 73. I haven't denied anyone. How do you handle it?
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Replies
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You feed must be crazy. I can't take how you get the people you are friends with, along with everyone they are friends with.
I don't have friends for that reason. I would rather do it on my own. That's just me.0 -
Ha ha :laugh: I have 182 and rarely say no to a new one ... I do however ignore the blank FR
and do a clean up every few months for anyone who hasn't been active in 3 + months unless I know from chatting they are away or busy in RL 
IMO having friends here to support and motivate you is priceless ... I couldn't have gotten where I am now without them :drinker: :grumble: I tried it on my own yes I lost some but on the bad days you need the support
Also scanning friends food diaries can give you great new ideas :bigsmile: 0 -
Nobody takes it personal! Sometimes I can't answer all friends comments! Just do it when you can! That's all one can do right?0
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It's the uniform.0
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Ha ha :laugh: I have 182 and rarely say no to a new one ... I do however ignore the blank FR and do a clean up every few months for anyone who hasn't been active in 3 + months unless I know from chatting they are away or busy in RL
IMO having friends here to support and motivate you is priceless ... I couldn't have gotten where I am now without them :drinker: :grumble: I tried it on my own yes I lost some but on the bad days you need the support Also scanning friends food diaries can give you great new ideas :bigsmile:
I don't have too many, but add a few after reading posts. I too feel that many great ideas can be learned. I especially like the one above about scanning diaries and getting new ideas! I hadn't thought about that - I'll start though!0 -
I usually accept requests, but if I find that they aren't supportive, logged on in a few weeks, or just don't seem to be serious about it I defriend them.0
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Same here, accept everyone, then do a cull occasionally!0
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i have over 100 friends in my list and to be honest only about 15-20 of those are supportive the rest log in but i have never heard of them.. so new friends don't hurt me i guess.. :indifferent:0
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Just don't delete mmeeeeeeeeee. I love having lots of friends.0
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It is HUGE motivation to have friends on here. Most of the people in my life don't understand the journey and sometimes struggle that weight loss is. It is nice to have so many people going through the same struggle. Friends are great! Haha.0
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I get fed up of accepting a request then never hearing from them again. whats the point in adding me, Im deadly serious about reaching my goals, so like to offer support to others, put when you keep giving it and getting nothing back then its time to chop em I say!!:grumble:0
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Just accept it 0
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The way I see it, this isn't Facebook or Myspace and I'm not in middle shool trying to be most popular. I'm here to achieve a goal and want to surround myself with like-minded people for mutual support.
I've been on since May 3, 2011 & currently have 51 friends, but am ready to pare that down to the essential core group of 15-20.
Keep who you click with.
Good luck!0 -
This is just me. If someone requests I do not deny unless they don't send a message. I find it a little creepy to not send a message. Anyhow, other than that everyone else is in. I don't always keep everyone. I don't delete people often, but when I do its because they don't log in often, arent serious about their weight loss, or have very different goals than me. I would rather have a smaller group of people that I can get to know and can support. I only have 47 friends and have been on the forums since august.
But IMO I have the greatest group of MFP friends around so win/win! I wouldn't be here without them. 0 -
I have over 200, I comment on as many as I can, especially if the seem to be needing the extra support. I don't delete people for not logging on, I figure they will need the extra support when they get back on the wagon.0
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For me the more the merrier. I try and keep up and certainly comment if a friend is at a low point. I wouldn't expect anyone to keep up with me all the time I really appreciate all the friends I have on here, they are all wonderful.0
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1) If they aren't active I delete.
2) If they are just here for drama or social activity I delete.
3) When I comment on their weight loss/ exercise/ food diary and they don't bother to comment on mine I delete.
You are here to lose weight and get support and if the people you are friends with don't provide that then delete. This is your journey and if it's stressing you out trying to keep up with all those people its not worth it. I keep my list under 50 for that very reason.
Good luck to you on your journey!!!0 -
I have 2 and could use more. I think the more people u can lean on the better0
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My thoughts are ... if I can inspire, motivate, support ... or help somebody in anyway ... I have accomplished what this site is all about. I have alot of friends on my page and get new requests daily ... when I log on I go to my feed and respond to whoever I see there ... I don't pick and choose who is " worthy " of my friendship ... I mean really ... aren't we all ????
People spend way to much time overthinking what others do ... instead of focusing on making this journey fun ! I don't know about anybody else on here ... but I'm here for me ! And quite frankly ... being me is just enough !
Have an awesome day my friends ... smile whenever possible ... somebody else will definitely appreciate it !
:happy:0 -
Hi there!
In my experience on sites like these-when you are new-get as many friends as possible. As you move forward, you'll see a few that "stick out" to you. They are serious, very supportive, and people you have things in common with. After creating a support base-you will "clean up" your friends. For example-as time moves on-people will go through periods of inactivity but come back, while others will completely drop out (this is common). There are times where you may even have to go back out on the friend search looking for people that are still very active. Everyone is different and how many friends you can be truly supportive to depends on how much time you spend on the site and what type of support you have with some people. For example-for some of your friends-you will be a daily supporter while other you may only be a weekly supporter and some even more sporadically. so that leads me to the answer to your question: it varies. Feel it out for yourself and what you feel comfortable with because it's different for everyone!
Have a great Sunday funday!
Jennifer0 -
I didn't want to go above 25 but they kept coming then I thought 50 will be fine and still they kept coming...75....100 and holding steady between 105 and 115. I only delete if they haven't been active for 3 months with no log ins at all, I figure they probably won't be back after that long.
I can't get round to them all daily along with moderating on here so I apologise every now and then and every couple of weeks I make time to visit every single one and comment on their posts or post something, anything on their wall...even if its just a "hi, how you doing"
If you don't want above x amount then post a "sorry, no vacancies" on your profile. You'll still get some but you're free to decline and I doubt most would take offence.0 -
I am new here so no "culling" yet but I agree with alot of what was said.
I will keep the group that seems active, suppotive and in it for the real journey. I don't do FB - too much ex drama. I won't keep drama.0 -
I love having loads as thats our support some dont talk some are my constiant support as I have none but here enjoy the help x0
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It's the uniform.
Heh heh. And your weight loss icon! All kidding aside, two of my brothers in law were in law enforcement before retiring, one in Manhattan (forgot the precinct) and one was a detective in Brooklyn. People in law enforcement deserve alot more credit than they get.
On friends-- whatever you are comfortable with. I don't have many; but those that I have, I actively support.0 -
I've only been on for a few days but already have over 20 friends and am thrilled.
I'm fairly sure we are all realistic adults who should realise that with that many friends you cannot comment on them all every day.That doesn't mean that they will not be there to support you if you let them know you need it.0 -
Excellent question ... I only have a few friends. Three of those are people that I actually know in the real world. Family and friends. As for accepting other MFP friends ... I have to be able to relate to their struggles. I have almost 200 pounds to lose and just can't relate to folks that have only a "few" pounds to lose because they want to "look good on the beach".
It is important to have people that can offer support, encouragement and accountability. But like someone else commented ... this not a popularity contest. It is serious stuff for me and I need to get this done for health reason.
Wishing you all well on your journey.0 -
this! lol i have over 270 and it is a lot but i think you do what you can do and dont worry about the rest. i am on when i am on and i support who i can. those i get close to i make sure to post on their wall so they can see it!It's the uniform.0 -
I've had about 50 people add me in the last couple days because of a couple threads I posted in or made. At first, I ignored the ones with blank requests but now I just look at how long they've been here, how much weight they've lost and how often they log in.
I plan on going through and deleting anyone who hasn't logged in in a week though. I log in daily and don't take cheat days ever so it's sort of disappointing to see people not keeping up with something that only takes a couple minutes.
Well, I do have two friends on mine that haven't logged in in over 2 months but those are the two people (they're married) who got me to start using this. She's already at her goal weight but I don't plan on deleting them. It's a symbolic thing haha.0 -
My thoughts are ... if I can inspire, motivate, support ... or help somebody in anyway ... I have accomplished what this site is all about. I have alot of friends on my page and get new requests daily ... when I log on I go to my feed and respond to whoever I see there ... I don't pick and choose who is " worthy " of my friendship ... I mean really ... aren't we all ????
People spend way to much time overthinking what others do ... instead of focusing on making this journey fun ! I don't know about anybody else on here ... but I'm here for me ! And quite frankly ... being me is just enough !
Have an awesome day my friends ... smile whenever possible ... somebody else will definitely appreciate it !
:happy:
Well said Laney 0 -
It's a few ways you can handle it....Depending on your preference....
1) If they don't have a message or picture while requesting- Deny
2) Accept them and if you don't see much support/working out/submitting diary...then delete them
3) Determine if you are able to support this pals( That is very important) and think how you would feel if you didn't get much support from a pal with to many friends.
I myself started with 50 pals...then it grew and grew...I have over 200 now...and I can honestly say that I get to most of my pals daily...or if not...I have a routine of checking in on pals pages...Just to say how...
I am no longer limiting myself....Everyone needs support its just depends on what you are willing to give back...
HOPE THIS HELPS!0
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