Too many friends?

2

Replies

  • MMarvelous
    MMarvelous Posts: 1,067 Member
    I accept all requests and check on my friends who have not logged in for awhile. This is a support group do if someone is not responsive they may need you more now than ever! Some friends may never comment on your post but will look at your diary and progress and get ideas and motivation. Just b/c someone never comments doesn't mean they don't need to be your friend, sometimes silence is golden and they just need inspiration!
  • kjmoore212000
    kjmoore212000 Posts: 8 Member
    I personally think you can not have enough friends, denying people defeats the purpose of this site. I use it for accountability, if I know a lot of people are watching me fall off the wagon it gives me a little more motivation to keep going. I've learned new things from reading my news feed when others post questions and are answered by their friends. Not everyone will post questions and concerns on the message boards. I've gotten good advice on new meals, products, and exercise just from my news feed alone. I have some friends that post daily motivational support to everyone they are friends with. I'm not able to reply to every news feed that comes along but I reply as much as I can.

    Oh, and anyone feel free to add me.
  • DawnVanSlim
    DawnVanSlim Posts: 10,468 Member
    I get fed up of accepting a request then never hearing from them again. whats the point in adding me, Im deadly serious about reaching my goals, so like to offer support to others, put when you keep giving it and getting nothing back then its time to chop em I say!!:grumble:

    ^this!!
  • SLN11
    SLN11 Posts: 210
    I usually accept requests, but if I find that they aren't supportive, logged on in a few weeks, or just don't seem to be serious about it I defriend them.

    Yes i agree with this too,

    I have many friends a lot of them have been friends since I started, however you will soon know the ones the motivate a lot will comment back and update status that just help you keep going xx
  • laurastrait21
    laurastrait21 Posts: 307 Member
    I rarely say no and only cut if people are inactive. I cut someone recently with 300+ friends who was using cut and paste support on all of our diaries .. that is way too tacky for me.
  • swaymyway
    swaymyway Posts: 428 Member
    A lot of people here seem to feel obliged to comment on every thing each of their friends does - so I can see why they don't want too many friends and struggle to keep up, but I don't feel the same obligation, I comment when I feel like I have something to say, not just for the sake of 'showing face' and can often go several says without doing so, if people see that as me being unsupportive and want to defriend me they are welcome to do so :)
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I have had as many as like 150 or something. I recently cut down to 84. I "need" very little from my friends, as I don't actually need support for fitness or weight loss anymore. I've been here a year now. In the beginning I accepted everyone and just made small cuts here or there when I felt like "who are these people?" I made a cut of 50 last night.
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 743 Member
    I have 60 or so..I actually know most my friends from another forum I am on...so I am personally vested in their lives and genuinely give a care about them...loves them in fact! I also only have girl friends...nothing against guy friends...and I used to have some that we're amazing and super fitness oriented..but feel really free speaking with just girls...so basically I deny people a the time...or I wi just leave them on my request and see if they are fronds with my friends etc...a note is always a plays...don't feel bad..weed people out...

    Also if they aren't logging regularly...they get dropped!!!

    Brutal ...I know!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,031 Member
    I don't turn anyone away. I do go through and delete anyone 1 month or longer off every couple of weeks. I believe I have over 300 friends and get PM'd alot with questions. But I usually answer them. I do let them know that I'm NOT their online trainer though and that I don't have the time to scrutinize their every day workout or make workouts up for them.
  • psychopiglet
    psychopiglet Posts: 130 Member
    I have 82 and wouldn't say no to more! I don't have time to comment on everything everyone posts and logs but I do comment on whatever is showing on My Home page whenever I pop by. I don't expect anyone to comment on my stuff, I just like being able to see what others are doing/eating. It's quite inspiring a lot of the time and I don't think I would still be logging in every day without them.
  • em9371
    em9371 Posts: 1,047 Member
    I have about 20, of those I talk to a few daily, comment on / get comments from maybe 10, and the rest requested me and then never said another word to me!!
    I have always had a note on my profile saying random requests without a message will be deleted and they are.
    I would rather have a few friends who have simliar goal and we can actually help each other on our journey than 100's of friends that maybe say 'good job' on a status occasionally and thats it!

    ETA - this topic has inspired be to go delete all the randoms that never talked to me, so now am down to 14 friends lol
  • SarahMorganP
    SarahMorganP Posts: 921 Member
    I usually accept requests, but if I find that they aren't supportive, logged on in a few weeks, or just don't seem to be serious about it I defriend them.

    Yep, that's how I do it. :) I like to keep it under 30 though, or as close as possible.
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    I miss my old friends... They were more interactive at one point.. It's like I got all these new friends and they don't even speak to me... And I seriously interact with everyone as best I could. It's seriously time to delete people who doesn't interact... I don't only go based on who doesn't log in.. Because I got people on my list who log in faithfully and is all in the forums and posting on the newsfeed every five minutes but I'll say hi, support them etc and I never not one time would eem hear from them... I need to regroup I guess you can say :)
  • DisneyAddictRW
    DisneyAddictRW Posts: 800 Member
    It is HUGE motivation to have friends on here. Most of the people in my life don't understand the journey and sometimes struggle that weight loss is. It is nice to have so many people going through the same struggle. Friends are great! Haha.

    Same here. I do clean up my list. If someone hasn't logged in for months I delete them.
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 743 Member
    I rarely say no and only cut if people are inactive. I cut someone recently with 300+ friends who was using cut and paste support on all of our diaries .. that is way too tacky for me.
    I know who u are talking about!!!!!!!
  • Spurrowell
    Spurrowell Posts: 35
    I haven't had any friend requests, i must not be a good person.
  • lorabaybai
    lorabaybai Posts: 43
    It's the uniform.

    haha DEFO this... x
  • interceptor311
    interceptor311 Posts: 980 Member
    It's the uniform.

    haha DEFO this... x

    ??
  • garyolson43
    garyolson43 Posts: 28 Member
    I usually accept requests, but if I find that they aren't supportive, logged on in a few weeks, or just don't seem to be serious about it I defriend them.

    Same here. I prefer a smaller circle of friends who are supportive.
  • lorabaybai
    lorabaybai Posts: 43
    It's the uniform.

    haha DEFO this... x

    ??

    :laugh: got to love a man in uniform :drinker:
  • myf1101
    myf1101 Posts: 99
    I usually accept requests, but if I find that they aren't supportive, logged on in a few weeks, or just don't seem to be serious about it I defriend them.

    I am new on here but this is what I would do as well.
  • Caged_Heat
    Caged_Heat Posts: 1,031 Member
    Nobody takes it personal! Sometimes I can't answer all friends comments! Just do it when you can! That's all one can do right?

    Personally, I don't see the point in having so many friends you can't support all of them. I feel that I am here to support them as much as I'm here for support. And I want to support them every day, not only when I have time. I remove friends who have trouble committing to logging in and keeping up with their diary or friends who show no interest in leaving comments to encourage or support me. I figure it's fine that they are at where they are at in their lives. Doesn't mean I have to slow down and wait for them. Occasionally, though I make exceptions.

    I try to look at everyone's food diary and see where they might be struggling, ask them questions about if they have a problem with something like HBP, etc. some people can do better if they understand how the food they eat affects them. You don't have to be a nutritionist to help.

    Having said that, I'm guessing 30 is my limit. And now I will go see how many I have ...
  • Caged_Heat
    Caged_Heat Posts: 1,031 Member
    Any thoughts on how many friends someone should have on this site? I have been here just a week and already have 73. I haven't denied anyone. How do you handle it?

    Since most of your friends are women and at least half have Facebook style profile pics, I would say a lot of it is the uniform - no offense to you or your friends. Since you posted this under Introduce Yourself, you will probably get more requests. And your profile says feel free to follow me on twitter. Are you journaling your weight loss or fishing?
  • kcragg
    kcragg Posts: 239 Member
    I agree with Giraffe33991- it isn't a popularity contest or Facebook (but never really got that!). I have been logging on for 40 days but only recently been posting on the message boards so I don't have many friends :sad: I think I would prefer a small group of supportive, like minded people, which must be easier to manage!

    I have been very impressed at how supportive to one another the people on MFP are, it is lovely to see :smile:
  • hope516
    hope516 Posts: 1,133 Member
    It's the uniform.

    :laugh:
  • darylinny
    darylinny Posts: 146
    I usually accept requests, but if I find that they aren't supportive, logged on in a few weeks, or just don't seem to be serious about it I defriend them.

    Same here! I also look for similiar stories, goals or locations. I would love to meet some of them in person!
  • mlrod1914
    mlrod1914 Posts: 15
    I only have about 9 friends on MFP. But I like it that way. Its nothing personal towards anyone else. But the friends i have are in much like me. Same age range, gender and in the same life situation. So it feels very close knit. we keep tabs on each other. I like the small support group feel.
  • 189andFalling
    189andFalling Posts: 58 Member
    I only have 1 *cries* :).
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Do whatever works best for you. If you want a small group, then pick your faves. I often find that I end up deleting people when they haven't checked in for a few weeks (unless they explained why in advance) so other than a core group, you may have some that naturally rotate out.
  • Carolyn_79
    Carolyn_79 Posts: 935 Member
    I have a smaller group of 30 and I like it that way. I've discovered that by having a smaller group I really get to know everyone, what they do for a living, what their goals are, what they're training for, etc....I even learned about one friend's dog yesterday. I like getting to know people on a more personal level because I feel the support is greater. That's what works for me so people should do what works best for them. If 100+ friends works for you then you should do that.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories