Couple Question

13

Replies

  • Aid_B
    Aid_B Posts: 427
    Yeah, if I wanted too go to a lapdance club I could.

    Last time I was there we were both asked to leave , according to security "you don't bring your own sandwiches to a restaurant" :laugh: :laugh:
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    I figure if you are in a relationship you have to trust the other person. I would want to know where he was though. He can go to the clubs as long as he comes home and takes his sexual frustration out on me. :devil:
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
    It's understood that we don't do those sort of things, I wouldn't go because I really am not interested in it and I would rather he not go to one either. He doesn't go because he can't imagine spending money on something of the sort or dispespecting me in that way.

    It's all in understanding each other. Would I trust him, yes, would I just rather he not, yes.

    With all of that said...my exhusband and I went to a couple togther. We actaully spent an evening at the Dollhouse in Ft. Lauderdale with his son; just before his son went in the Army.
  • Spinelli2288
    Spinelli2288 Posts: 188 Member


    I really hate when women try to make this an issue of "insecurity" in some effort to prove to men how cool and easy-going they are. Whatever.

    It is an insecurity issue and that's all it will ever be. :laugh: Women are threatened by other women, more often than not, for no reason. Even worse, women are threatened by the THOUGHT of another woman. It's ridiculous.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    I would never tell a grown man what he can and can't do. I just wouldn't date a man who likes going to strip clubs. If that's something he likes and insists on being able to do, then we are not going to be compatible.

    Totally agree! I view it just like I don't like smoking, so I wouldn't date a guy who smokes. I don't care if other people smoke, I'm just not dating someone who does. Same thing. Plenty of my friends and their boyfriends or whatever go to strip clubs, I just think they're gross and wouldn't date somebody who was into them. I kinda don't get strip clubs either...I mean, why would I want my boyfriend to go get aroused by other women, when he can just come to me, I can strip for him and give him a lap dance and we can have our own fun?

    But if you're into it and your man's into it, get down to the strip club and get your $1s ready!
  • rob_v
    rob_v Posts: 270 Member
    I personally don't have a problem with my other half going, never have. And I like to go as well, so if he wants to go, we make it a big ordeal and invite a bunch of friends to go. Lap dances, dollar dances, I don't care. It's all fun. Thoughts?
    I maybe go once a year when I go on a guys trip, wife never really minded at all, but she wanted to go to see what the big deal was. So when we were on vaca w/ some friends we all went, I honestly think the girls had a better time than the guys. If we are on vacation w/ the right people we will make a stop in, but by all means not a regular thing at all. But yea - its a fun time, and usually make for a great night later!
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    My wife and I went to the strip club together for our bachelor/bachelorette party, and it was great....in fact she asks me when we're gonna go again \m/
  • JulieH3art
    JulieH3art Posts: 293 Member
    If he wants to go, he can of course go! He has talked about a strip club being him and his friends' next boy's night out. I don't mind.

    If he went obsessively, that'd be weird, though.
  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,757 Member
    I can't get caught up in all of the 'if he knows what's good for him he won't go to the strip clubs' comments.

    Here's my opinion on it, and how things work in my house.... For starters, my bf is his own man, and he is not a kept man. But way bigger than that, for this question, he IS a man. Ladies, I'm sorry to break the news to you, but it truly is engrained in a man's DNA to look at others. He was put on this Earth to mate, and he is designed to be attracted to a prospective mate. Just as we are designed to be attracted to a propective mate. Society is what created monogamy, not genes! He IS going to look, he IS going to desire. Just as you do! However, whether he acts on those desires is a personal choice, that is not engrained in his DNA, that's the great sky fairy's sick sense of humor, otherwise known as free will. Only the two people in a relationship can determine whether him acting on those desires is unacceptable. In my relationship, it's not only acceptable, but encouraged. However, I realize I'm not in the 'norm'.

    Bottom line - strip clubs don't make people cheaters. Cheaters make their own decisions to cheat.
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
    a relationship councellor I used to read in NZ said once in any issue you have to ask yourself "does this bring you closer together or drive you apart?"

    so its a no brainer. Going to a strip club is generally not going to be great for your relationship, whether your spouse ok's it or not. very infrequently might be ok but certainly not as a regular thing.

    but also forbidding behaviour or trying to control your spouses behaviour is not going to be great for your relationship or bring you closer to gether.

    both are not respecting the feelings of the other.
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
    Yeah I went to a bachelors party to one and my wife was ok with it because she was aware that we were going to one. plus she knows I'm not really into strippers. and now she wants to go hang out at the local one from time to time just to check it out because she's never been. I think it all comes down to how secure you are in your relationship, that and how religious you are, to each his own I say.
  • traceyjayne64
    traceyjayne64 Posts: 262
    My husband goes and i absolutely hate it !!!! Yes i am insecure, the thought of him looking at girls younger than our own daughters, walking/dancing around completely naked makes me feel physically sick.
    He stops off at a truckers pub fairly often with the lads who work for him...i think its a macho thing to show these little boys (around 19-22) what its all about. I know for a fact these girls put their boobs and bare arses all over them.....

    What really does me in, is the thought of him then coming home feeling randy and uses me to release !!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO.

    We have an amazing sex life, always have had, we make love most days and i totally adore him, there is nothing i wont do for him.
    BUT, i have tried to tell him how i feel, we have argued, shouted and ive cried trying to explain how i feel belittled and insecure...but he still goes and says he wont stop..so get used to it !!!

    My thoughts, and ive said this to him...is if it upsets me so much, why would he want to do it? :cry: ...he says its my problem.
  • cmbrysonussery
    cmbrysonussery Posts: 55 Member
    My wife's response:

    "I don't care where you get your appetite, just make sure you eat in your own kitchen".

    That said, I haven't been to a strip club in several years....I got me a winner!!


    Love it.
  • judypriv
    judypriv Posts: 206 Member
    My husband has gone for bachelor parties or birthday parties. i always give him a twenty and say "Tell the dancer it's from your wife." or "tell bday boy to have one on me." he does and they all get a kick outta it. I could care less and I knw he loves and desires me so what does it matter.
  • SithZombie
    SithZombie Posts: 165 Member
    I will NEVER understand why women are so adverse to strip clubs. Is it a jealousy problem? Are they afraid he's going to see someone hotter than them? What is the issue? I personally do not CARE if my husband goes, as long as he tells me first so that I can either go with him and have a blast OR make plans of my own to go out with the girls!
  • stellcorb
    stellcorb Posts: 294 Member
    I guess I can't say I "don't allow" my husband to go to strip clubs... but with exception to bachelor parties or special occaisions, out budget doesn't really have the allowance for a 20$ entrance fee and 7 bucks per Miller Lite. Plus, my husband's not a big fan anyway since he's not going to truly "get" anything out of it.
    Some men actually like to use the excuse that they're "not allowed" by thier significant other b/c they don't want to get crap for not really wanting to go. Not all men like to be teased until thier wallets are empty, but to each thier own, right?
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    My wife's response:

    "I don't care where you get your appetite, just make sure you eat in your own kitchen".

    That said, I haven't been to a strip club in several years....I got me a winner!!

    I like this womans thoughts..
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    Only if I get to go to :wink: j/k Actually I couldn't care less. But I admit we are not exactly typical. The problem is not a couple having boundaries that are tighter/looser than your personal beliefs. The problems arise when the couple can't agree on their own boundaries. And it is far too common!
  • SewerUrchin
    SewerUrchin Posts: 53
    Mr SewerUrchin doesn't really care for strip clubs because he doesn't find the whole "stripper look" attractive and doesn't really see the point. However, if he DID want to go, he'd be more than welcome to, it's just a bit of fun.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member


    I really hate when women try to make this an issue of "insecurity" in some effort to prove to men how cool and easy-going they are. Whatever.

    It is an insecurity issue and that's all it will ever be. :laugh: Women are threatened by other women, more often than not, for no reason. Even worse, women are threatened by the THOUGHT of another woman. It's ridiculous.

    So someone died and crowned you the arbiter of all women's thoughts?

    If I were that threatened by other women, I wouldn't be able to have a relationship outside of locking my man up in the basement. I'd never let him go to work or to the grocery store or to a bar or a ballgame or a party. And if I have to go to that extreme, then he's not really mine to begin with, is he?

    As I said before, which you either missed or are being willfully ignorant of, opportunities to cheat are all over the place, not just in strip clubs. I don't choose not to date men who go to strip clubs because I'm jealous of or threatened by the women there. It's because if he likes paying to watch other women dance around naked, then we are not compatible on a very basic level. Men I'm attracted to do not consider that "entertainment." They consider it a waste of time and money.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    My husband (at the time) went to a club with his cousin. It didn't bother me, but you can bet I made him rinse his mouth out with Listerine after he told me one of the girls had him put a dollar in his mouth and she snatched it up with her snatch! Blech. :sick:
  • Spinelli2288
    Spinelli2288 Posts: 188 Member


    I really hate when women try to make this an issue of "insecurity" in some effort to prove to men how cool and easy-going they are. Whatever.

    It is an insecurity issue and that's all it will ever be. :laugh: Women are threatened by other women, more often than not, for no reason. Even worse, women are threatened by the THOUGHT of another woman. It's ridiculous.

    So someone died and crowned you the arbiter of all women's thoughts?

    If I were that threatened by other women, I wouldn't be able to have a relationship outside of locking my man up in the basement. I'd never let him go to work or to the grocery store or to a bar or a ballgame or a party. And if I have to go to that extreme, then he's not really mine to begin with, is he?

    As I said before, which you either missed or are being willfully ignorant of, opportunities to cheat are all over the place, not just in strip clubs. I don't choose not to date men who go to strip clubs because I'm jealous of or threatened by the women there. It's because if he likes paying to watch other women dance around naked, then we are not compatible on a very basic level. Men I'm attracted to do not consider that "entertainment." They consider it a waste of time and money.

    You missed the part where I didn't direct the second part of my statement toward you, or were you just being willfully ignorant?
  • ShmoozyQ
    ShmoozyQ Posts: 390 Member
    It depends on the circumstances. If my husband is going to go out to a strip club with the guys for a party, no big deal. If he's going there by himself, I'm not cool with that.

    But as someone said earlier, I simply would just not date someone who chose to spend his free time and money going to strip clubs alone.

    Also, in my little corner of the universe, the only "strip club" in town is actually a brothel. Nope, don't want my husband hanging around a brothel.
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
    [/quote]



    So someone died and crowned you the arbiter of all women's thoughts?

    If I were that threatened by other women, I wouldn't be able to have a relationship outside of locking my man up in the basement. I'd never let him go to work or to the grocery store or to a bar or a ballgame or a party. And if I have to go to that extreme, then he's not really mine to begin with, is he?

    As I said before, which you either missed or are being willfully ignorant of, opportunities to cheat are all over the place, not just in strip clubs. I don't choose not to date men who go to strip clubs because I'm jealous of or threatened by the women there. It's because if he likes paying to watch other women dance around naked, then we are not compatible on a very basic level. Men I'm attracted to do not consider that "entertainment." They consider it a waste of time and money.
    [/quote]

    ^^^With you all the way here. I choose to not be with a man that has that frame of mind to begin with.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member


    I really hate when women try to make this an issue of "insecurity" in some effort to prove to men how cool and easy-going they are. Whatever.

    It is an insecurity issue and that's all it will ever be. :laugh: Women are threatened by other women, more often than not, for no reason. Even worse, women are threatened by the THOUGHT of another woman. It's ridiculous.

    So someone died and crowned you the arbiter of all women's thoughts?

    If I were that threatened by other women, I wouldn't be able to have a relationship outside of locking my man up in the basement. I'd never let him go to work or to the grocery store or to a bar or a ballgame or a party. And if I have to go to that extreme, then he's not really mine to begin with, is he?

    As I said before, which you either missed or are being willfully ignorant of, opportunities to cheat are all over the place, not just in strip clubs. I don't choose not to date men who go to strip clubs because I'm jealous of or threatened by the women there. It's because if he likes paying to watch other women dance around naked, then we are not compatible on a very basic level. Men I'm attracted to do not consider that "entertainment." They consider it a waste of time and money.

    I think men going every now and then, is different than men that HAVE to go all the time, every weekend, etc. I'm just talking very general. Is your man "allowed" to go to a strip club.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    I don't mind, I mean if all the guys are going or it's for a stag or whatnot, go for it! But if he's going just to get off to this girls, then we would definitely need to have a conversation.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I wasn't okay with it, and then I ended up with a man I trusted unconditionally and I was "meh" about it (as in I'm not taking him personally but whatever if he goes), and then I went to one with some friends and had the stripper (thank god she was wearing bottoms) put my head in a death grip and practically hump my face, and then I wasn't okay with it again.
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    My husband and I would frequent one of the strip clubs here... I don't have a problem with him going when we are together. I'd be a tad bit pissed off if he went on his own. Mostly because if he's going to be doing any motorboatin'.. then I want to see! Plus why should HE get all the fun?? The strip club rules here are .... girls need a male escort to enter... lame.
  • ShmoozyQ
    ShmoozyQ Posts: 390 Member
    I wasn't okay with it, and then I ended up with a man I trusted unconditionally and I was "meh" about it (as in I'm not taking him personally but whatever if he goes), and then I went to one with some friends and had the stripper (thank god she was wearing bottoms) put my head in a death grip and practically hump my face, and then I wasn't okay with it again.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    He only gets in trouble if he goes without me (assuming I'm around to go). No reason he should have all the fun!
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