Couple Question

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Replies

  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    I wasn't okay with it, and then I ended up with a man I trusted unconditionally and I was "meh" about it (as in I'm not taking him personally but whatever if he goes), and then I went to one with some friends and had the stripper (thank god she was wearing bottoms) put my head in a death grip and practically hump my face, and then I wasn't okay with it again.

    OMG! LMAO~ I don't think they do that with men. I think strippers take certain liberties with women because.. well men love to see girl on girl action. Makes the men want to go up and spend more dollar bills on them.

    I was super grossed out one time because this girl actually "sat" on my husband face! His whole face disappeared in her *kitten*! YUCK!! ! I made him go wash his face.. TWICE and still didn't think he was clean enough. He felt physically ill after that and we went home! hahahah It was gross and hilarious at the same time.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I wasn't okay with it, and then I ended up with a man I trusted unconditionally and I was "meh" about it (as in I'm not taking him personally but whatever if he goes), and then I went to one with some friends and had the stripper (thank god she was wearing bottoms) put my head in a death grip and practically hump my face, and then I wasn't okay with it again.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Oh, it was terrible. I kept trying to push her off of me, and I had my eyes closed, and every time I reached out to find a place to push it was all so . . . fleshy . . . It was on a training trip with co-worker friends, I don't work there anymore but apparently they still tell the story every time they go on the annual trip.
  • LavaDoll
    LavaDoll Posts: 595 Member
    Hmmm...most of the dancers I knew and know are not even into men.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    Me and my husband think they are gross. I've NEVER gone to one out of sheer coincidence and what I've seen on TV or heard about never made me interested. My husband thinks it exploits women to become sex objects and he thinks its disrespectful to be staring at them like a piece of meat. It's most definitely not the popular view but who cares? We feel deep down that a woman really shouldn't have to sell her body off to strangers (whether nude or not) to make money and make someone excited.

    I have told him that he can go with his friends who aren't as offended/grossed out by it but he has always turned it down in front of his friends whether I'm there or not. I can't change how he is and I'm definitely not forcing myself to go. We enjoy other things instead. :smile:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I wasn't okay with it, and then I ended up with a man I trusted unconditionally and I was "meh" about it (as in I'm not taking him personally but whatever if he goes), and then I went to one with some friends and had the stripper (thank god she was wearing bottoms) put my head in a death grip and practically hump my face, and then I wasn't okay with it again.

    OMG! LMAO~ I don't think they do that with men. I think strippers take certain liberties with women because.. well men love to see girl on girl action. Makes the men want to go up and spend more dollar bills on them.

    I was super grossed out one time because this girl actually "sat" on my husband face! His whole face disappeared in her *kitten*! YUCK!! ! I made him go wash his face.. TWICE and still didn't think he was clean enough. He felt physically ill after that and we went home! hahahah It was gross and hilarious at the same time.

    Forget about Listerine mouthwash, that would require Listerine FACE wash! Foul! :smile:
  • Cysso
    Cysso Posts: 68 Member
    I have no idea...it's never come up. Dh has never seemed interested in going and when I've asked he said it's not something he likes to do. But he also doesn't like strange people in his personal space either...
  • chunkiedunker
    chunkiedunker Posts: 144 Member
    i have had this arguement with a friend of my fiance and mine several times. she refuses to let her fiance go to strip clubs, watch porn and that whole thing. i also believe self pleasure is out of the question as well. my fiance and i dont agree with her. im okay with her going to strip clubs and if she wants to watch porn and take care of her wants then so be it. she feels the same way with me. but this friend doesn't see the same way. i couldn't imagine worrying so much that my s.o. would cheat on me by going to a strip club. the porn thing was interesting. she said she didn't want him fantasizing about another woman. i looked at her and said he doesn't need porn to do that. everyone has looked at someone else and wondered what it would be like at least 1 time in their life.

    but to not have the freedom would be a show killer. i dont spend my life in places like that but i enjoy going every once in a while. then when its time to leave i go home to my fiance.
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
    It's simple... I do what I want. If that's a problem... then we have a problem.
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    Basically, it all comes down to not having the right attitude. Are you a victim, or a spouse/partner?

    Monarchy: "I don't/can't do that because my husband won't allow me to."

    Marriage: "My husband and I talked [because we would have] and that makes him feel really uncomfortable. Because he explained his reasoning, I can see where he's coming from and I respect the way he feels. Therefore, I choose not to do it."
    This. I would never want my husband to go to a strip club. That would make me feel like crap. Just like he would hate it if I went to see men stripping.
    If he ever decided he wanted to go and ignore my feelings, than I would have the right to leave and the same applies to me.
  • Spinelli2288
    Spinelli2288 Posts: 188 Member
    It's simple... I do what I want. If that's a problem... then we have a problem.

    Agreed.
  • Glact
    Glact Posts: 9
    I have no problem if my significant other would want to go to a strip club with me or without me, I do believe that you are with that one person but i also do belive it is hard to expect one person to fill all your needs. with that being said i have never cheated but i think that going out and with friends, strip clubs, watching porn, and just experiments are not all wrong or bad. i think everyone should at least go to a strip club once even if it is just to kill the curiosity.
  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
    Some men actually like to use the excuse that they're "not allowed" by thier significant other b/c they don't want to get crap for not really wanting to go. Not all men like to be teased until thier wallets are empty, but to each thier own, right?

    My husband does this. For everything. If he doesn't wanna do something with his friends, be it going to a strip club/playing paintball/watching a UFC pay per view/whatever, he says that I said he can't or that I said we have plans. It annoys the crap out of me. If you don't wanna go, just freakin' TELL them that. Why do I always have to look like a controlling *****? Rant over.

    As for the strip club thing, I don't care if he goes. I don't think that all women who care are insecure though. I have friends who are very religious and they feel that going to a strip club goes against the teachings of the bible.
  • penelepurr
    penelepurr Posts: 204 Member
    I've never understood the minds of women when it comes to this kind of thing. I could never imagine being THAT insecure. My boyfriend and I had our second date at a titty bar...... which was my choice. We go quite often, have a few drinks, a few dances, and just have fun. We are human, no matter what we are going to look at the opposite (or in my case same) sex and find beauty or sexual attraction. I would much rather see a beautiful woman taking her clothes off and dance for me than have some, most likely gay, ripped man do the helicopter in my face. :noway: My boyfriend and I are completely monogamous, we don't have an open relationship or three ways, but he, we, or I can go to a strip club and never have a problem with it. A relationship is about love, trust, and commitment. You shouldn't tell your significant other what they are "allowed" to do and expect a good relationship out of it.

    agree with all of this. I don't make excuses for anyone being human and enjoying the nicer things about it. I've seen both dance and I'd rather have the girls too. And I wouldn't have a problem with my bf if he wanted to go. I'd probably invite him to go before he would invite me lol.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    As for the strip club thing, I don't care if he goes. I don't think that all women who care are insecure though. I have friends who are very religious and they feel that going to a strip club goes against the teachings of the bible.

    That's my parents. No strip clubs, no porn because their church preaches against them.
  • Ephena
    Ephena Posts: 610 Member
    I have no problem with my guy going to strip clubs, wouldn't mind going with him at least once to check it out since I've never made it inside one, but I don't have to be there.

    I think time out with friends without your partner is necessary to help maintain a healthy relationship.
  • penelepurr
    penelepurr Posts: 204 Member
    My wife's response:

    "I don't care where you get your appetite, just make sure you eat in your own kitchen".

    That said, I haven't been to a strip club in several years....I got me a winner!!

    fuh-reakin' awesome :happy:
  • cekeys
    cekeys Posts: 397 Member
    Never been. Don't plan on going.
  • Daysednconfused
    Daysednconfused Posts: 975 Member
    I didn't mind my husband going when we were together, but I probably should have considering I found out he drops like $400-$500 each time he goes. My guess is he's getting more than a lap dance.
  • LordBezoar
    LordBezoar Posts: 625 Member
    Never been. Don't plan on going.

    Ditto to this.
  • vaderandbill
    vaderandbill Posts: 1,063 Member
    For all of you saying you would choose not to do something because it makes your partner uncomfortable...how far are you willing to take that?

    I just feel like there has to be that middle ground, I've known people who are uncomfortable with a lot of things when it comes to their spouse.

    Girls/Guys night out? (even if its just movies, shopping etc)
    Having a friend of the opposite sex?
    Having porn?
    Or posters of other women/men (like a picture of carmen electra on a car or something)?
    *kitten* (I know someone personally who is uncomfortable with their spouse doing this, considers it a form of cheating) ?

    If this^^^ is true then apparently I shouldn't have ever had a girlfriend/wife!!

    As for the strip club stuff...a couple of thoughts;

    * I think guys that go out and brag (lie) to other friends about all the stuff the dancer did to them in the VIP room and what he could've done tot he dancer tend to get SO's upset.

    * Also, I think it has lost is luster recently for stag parties as other things seem to be a better way to spend money.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Read a lot of replies. I have to say that my wife doesn't care, and, if she did, I probably wouldn't be with her. Not because I need to go to a strip club. I think it would be a problem with her own self esteem and confidence.

    I don't tell my wife what she can and can't do and she doesn't tel me. We love each other for who we are; not for what one can make the other into.
  • shanlynt
    shanlynt Posts: 718 Member
    Wouldn't be too thrilled with the idea. Not sure what the attraction is anyway.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    Wouldn't be too thrilled with the idea. Not sure what the attraction is anyway.

    Um... a bunch of hot chicks, scantily clad, dancing around...
  • pineapple1989
    pineapple1989 Posts: 195 Member
    My boyfriend says its a waste of money etc cos why would you want a dance from people who would never look twice at you in a real bar, he could just be saying that as he doesnt want to admit it, but even if he did go he knows I wouldnt mind about anything like that, its me he is coming home to!
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    Neither one of us cares. He can go. I don't care to go to male strip clubs, so I don't. He rarely goes. I would not be okay with lap dances or touching, but I don't think he would do that.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    Read a lot of replies. I have to say that my wife doesn't care, and, if she did, I probably wouldn't be with her. Not because I need to go to a strip club. I think it would be a problem with her own self esteem and confidence.

    I don't tell my wife what she can and can't do and she doesn't tel me. We love each other for who we are; not for what one can make the other into.

    Awesome post!
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    I didn't mind my husband going when we were together, but I probably should have considering I found out he drops like $400-$500 each time he goes. My guess is he's getting more than a lap dance.

    My guess is you are right!
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    Eh, I go about once a year or so with the guys. It's fun once in a while. My wife doesn't really care unless I was frequenting one all the time.
  • JaySpice
    JaySpice Posts: 326 Member
    He can look but not touch or give up ANY money.