Unhelpful/hurtful Friends....Continued

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  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
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    My male friends are always down to go to the gym or play ball but...the diet not so much. But thats just how we are, if we out and you order a salad the insults will be fast and merciless
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
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    In my past, which has been a lot of years, I have always had more men friends than women. In MY PERSONAL experience I find men less likely to stab you in the back.
  • Bretto
    Bretto Posts: 196 Member
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    I think you need to weed them from your Friend garden, for truly they are nothing more than a weed in your life.
  • yeager06
    yeager06 Posts: 1
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    I would eliminate the firends that are not supportive... Obviously she is jealous of your dedication to being fit... maybe invite her to join you... or consider finding a new friend. No one should surround themselves with people like that.
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
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    I have always believed that guys make better friends than girls. Girls can be very petty especially when they are jealous. I find that the guys at the gym nicer than some of the girls. Your friend sounds jealous. Maybe you can invite her to the gym.
  • scarrletti_girl
    scarrletti_girl Posts: 479 Member
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    I had a roommate/friend last year who would roll her eyes at me or call me an overachiever when I went to the gym.....however, none of my guy friends EVER made any kind of remark like this. In fact, they were nothing but supportive, or would go workout with me. Does anyone find that it is their girlfriends that will be unhelpful, or is it just friends of the same sex that do this to each other???
    yes i agree that is sssooooo true girls are mean sometimes
  • padraigin67
    padraigin67 Posts: 78 Member
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    I had one friend like this, not as it pertains to weight loss, but she was just truly negative energy in my life. To remedy this, I severed our friendship. It stung a bit, but I have not had a moment's regret, and I feel so much better. Personally, I think it just boiled down to plain ol' jealousy.
    This...... I too had a friendship of 25 years that was negative. I always felt guilty for doing or having what she didn't cause that is how she made me feel. I severed that friendship last fall and have felt happier and better about myself. My husband commented that I seem lighter and had more energy. Some people are not happy unless everyone around them are as miserable as they are.
    Don't let her get to you. I have other women friends that are not only happy that I am losing weight. They are asking what I am doing and what they need to do. Some have joined some have not. 85% of my support has come from MFP friends. Good luck!!!:wink:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I find my girlfriends are usually the first to offer an excuse to get me out of it, or agree to go with me and then bail, or tell me i dont need to go anymore cause im perfect, or tell me to just skip dinner.

    I find that my guyfriends offer me a ride there, to borrow their playlist, to get new ideas on working muscle groups, and offer to spot me or help set up a game.

    BOYS LOVE.
    GIRLS HATE.

    and the world goes round.
  • misticache
    misticache Posts: 364 Member
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    What really annoys me about your girlfriends is that you tell them your going on a diet and want to lose weight and they get all defensive about it and say that your pathetic instead of actually encouraging you and supporting you! I have one girlfriend that is super supportive and i have another which argued with me because i wanted to diet! I don't really think guys encourage you that much as one of my guy friends call me ridiculous and tell me I don't need to lose weight. It's really not what i want to hear. I want people to support me and if i go to some of the fatty foods in a store to pull me away and take me to the fruit stall or something!

    That really is crazy! You simply need to change the wording from I need to go on a diet to: I really need to find something more satisfying to eat or I want to maintain my health and eating that ^$%& isn't going to do it.
    Hope this helps!

    But yep I'm guilty of saying that stuff to really skinny people because honestly I find it annoying when they say they need to go on a diet. Because in reality you don't need to diet you just want to stay healthy. Diet just seems so idk excessive? It makes us fat people feel like you are actually putting us down when you say it like that. If they are your friends though they should be supportive of you know matter what your wording!
  • amysj303
    amysj303 Posts: 5,086 Member
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    I am not really friends with boys, I have always been more comfortable around women. All my friends are nice about my efforts and take an interest in what "plan" I am on at the moment. I am always trying different things like Couch to 5k and 30 Day Shred then a few T-nation workouts like the KISS workout and the Sexy Female training and then the Jamie Eason plan.
    I can't imagine anyone telling me I was pathetic for my efforts, I would really have to wonder what was wrong with a friend who even implied that?!
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
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    I'll admit that I didn't read most of the responses, so this has probably been said already, but...

    I find that anyone who doesn't put the same priority/importance on being active and eating well (i.e. being healthy) are the ones that tend to be less supportive. People who are into this lifestyle like I am (or try to be) are the ones who congratulate/encourage me or harass me when I'm slacking.

    So from my experience, it's not a gender thing, it's a "Are you in this lifestyle or not?" thing.
  • xo_morgan
    xo_morgan Posts: 298
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    JEALOUSY. thats it plain and simple. i always go to the gym @ nighttime when no one is there. but a few times i woke up early and decided to go in the morning. there were a bunch of women in there. all WAY bigger than me (not judging...just facts) & im there everyday so obviously more used to the machines. i had my resistance up high and the level as high as it could go...they all started making fun of me saying that i was trying to hard & i was over achieving..

    I just laughed and said yup...gotta get swim suit ready. people want what they cant have. So instead of your friend getting off of her butt and making a difference she decides to sit there & judge & tell you you are working too hard.

    I cant say that i havent done it. My best friend was very on with her diet. doing excellent & losing weight. i was at a standstill..eating terribly & my little green eyed monster came out to play. i would find myself saying things like...okay cool for your diet but ill eat whatever i want. Instead of being supportive i was bashing her. Im just glad i noticed before i may have said/done something to really hurt her feelings.

    Girls can be competitive, cruel, and jealous. Brush it off & maybe suggest she come with you sometime.
  • umachanxo
    umachanxo Posts: 926 Member
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    I don't associate with people that try to dampen my motivation or drag me down.
    If they're people that I have to be around on a daily basis, I just smile and go about my own business.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Guys are nicer...
    because they want to sleep with you.
  • Riley4ever
    Riley4ever Posts: 225 Member
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    I think peeps of the same sex can be a bit competitive with each other (especially when trying to attract the opposite sex) and sometimes can sabotage each others good efforts not meaning to be unsupportive but it makes them feel better about their own guilt or shortcomings!

    I'm at the point where I've lost quite a bit of weight and get a barrage of people (family & friends) telling me I must be there now and I mustn't lose anymore yet I'm still 5 lbs outside of the healthy range for my height. Generally though family and friends have been delighted with my progress.
  • michelgem
    michelgem Posts: 18
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    i have this "bestfriend" who always induced me into eating unhealthy foods even when I told her I'm on diet and she should support me. at first she was all excited, saying she will act like a coach but when i actually lost weight, she just keeps on asking to go to Mcdonalds or when we go shopping, she'd offer to pay for the greasy snacks she craves. she's very thin and i know she doesnt understand how i feel being with her all the time while shes flirting with varsity players and me stuck behind her back cowering in her shadow. i dont want that anymore. but she just keeps pulling me down instead of up. I stopped hanging out with her that much. we still talk though.
  • paperbagprincess
    paperbagprincess Posts: 76
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    I find that guys will complain more if a girl COMPLAINS about her appearance. If your working at it ur trying to better urself and I guess they get that more than some girlfriends.

    I get ppl saying that to me too. Saying, "oh my god, don't tell me you think ur fat!" And its not that at all. There's plently of ppl who are considered 'thin' who want to change something. Whether it's the food their consuming to feel better and healthier or ppl trying to tone up. I saw pictures of myself last yr in a bikini when I went on vacation and it was NOT attractive. So I wanna change that! Nothing wrong with it, just dont bother talking to ppl like that about ur workouts or eating habits. You dont need their negativity!
  • paperbagprincess
    paperbagprincess Posts: 76
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    I think peeps of the same sex can be a bit competitive with each other (especially when trying to attract the opposite sex) and sometimes can sabotage each others good efforts not meaning to be unsupportive but it makes them feel better about their own guilt or shortcomings!

    I'm at the point where I've lost quite a bit of weight and get a barrage of people (family & friends) telling me I must be there now and I mustn't lose anymore yet I'm still 5 lbs outside of the healthy range for my height. Generally though family and friends have been delighted with my progress.

    Agreed. Same sex can always be a lot more competitive. I wouldnt get jealous of a guyfriend who lost a bunch of weight, but I would feel a bit envious if a girlfriend of mine did.
  • LolaGotThin
    LolaGotThin Posts: 111 Member
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    I have always been very picky about who I call my friends. As a result, I have a handful of girlfriends and every single one tells me that I'm doing great. I try to cheer them on too, because a few are also struggling with weight loss. I know I can text any one of them at any time and say, "I've lost x amount of pounds!" and they'll say, "That's so awesome!" or "Keep it up!" or "Lookin sexyyy!"
    I guess I just have better friends lol.
  • MsMarketeer
    MsMarketeer Posts: 24 Member
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    I swear, I think sometimes girls are out to sabotage other girls! It sounds bad, but in any weight loss attempt I've made (except this recent one).. one of my "friends" has tried to mess with me about it: either in meeting up in restaurants that have little healthy food choices, or making snide comments, or in saying just what you said or to the effect of, "oh you spend ALL your time at the gym now, that's all you do" kind of thing.

    I've recently been keeping those friends at a distance, because they really can't relate to how I'm living my life now. I know some people will think that's cruel, but life changes and people change, and are your friends really friends if they don't like the new and improved you?? I mean, you're making better choices for yourself, so they should be cheering you on, not bringing you down!

    I completely agree! So sick of women saying "OMG, I HATE YOU!" then say, just kidding (or not). They are just so jealous because they havent put in the work I have. I lost 60 lbs and worked my butt off (literally) to do it. My guy friends? NOTHING BUT SUPPORTIVE! Even told me when I started looking too thin. One guy was so cute...said, "Okay, Stick a fork in ya, you're done (losing weight)"

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