not about weight..but about a creepy guy..advice please

You are right it's not the victims fault, but it is how the crazies think, isn't it? Do we not wear low cut, tight, super short clothes to get looks? I do it. So a person who doesn't appreciate boundaries may think that she wants to be watched, touched or taken. It is an excuse they use. Maybe he doesn't look at the other young woman in the building because she dresses in looser clothing. Dressing for safety is no different than avoiding bad neighborhoods. You can not control the inappropriate behavior of others, just make sure you do what you need to to be safe. And get some pepper spray. He deserves a face full next time he jumps out at you or comes to your door.

This really is inaccurate. There are many more things to be wary off that are more important than clothing choice. Targeting for assault has more to do with the perceived vulnerability of the victim than it does with the tightness of their shirt. Your claim might make sense to you and I recognize that it's coming from a place with good intentions, but it does serve to reinforce an ideology of victim blame ('well if she wasn't wearing THAT outfit...).

Get this book and read it: The Gift of Fear by Gavin Becker. ( http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440226198 )

And get some pepper spray. He deserves a face full next time he jumps out at you or comes to your door.

Beware of the pepper spray. When I was a State Trooper, I had to endure pepper spray in training before I could carry it. I stood 6 feet away from the instructor, who sprayed about a 10 second burst of pepper spray into my eyes, nose and mouth...after which I went after him, took him to the ground, took his weapon and handcuffed him. If I had been the bad guy, he would have been a dead man. It hurt like hell and it was some nasty stuff, but it does not always stop someone from hurting you....

Coming from a former rape victim, absolutely report him to your landlord, get a good picture of him and report him to the police. My rapist was a creepy neighbor too. I avoided eye contact with him, skirted around him, anything to avoid him. Once night, he broke into my apartment and did his thing while my roommate slept in the next room. I was 23 at the time, and he scared the crap out of me. Our landlord was a police officer, and told me that had I reported the guys behavior then he would have been warned or evicted. As it was, after the incident happened and the police showed up, the guy was spooked and took off. They never found him and I never had justice.

After that, I took a self defense class, and I learned the following things:

1. Always stand straight with your head held high. While you do not want to "lock eyes" with your stalker, you do want him to know that you are confident and know he is watching. Therefore, make sure that you look at him so he knows you saw him. I tend to also give the evil eye when I do this.

2. If you have not taken a self defense class take one. They teach you where to kick and how to do it to disable your attacker.

3. Make noise if he comes anywhere near you. If he does start to attack you, yell "fire". People don't respond to screams for help, but if they think that their own person or property is in danger, the will respond.

4. Also related to if he attacks you...kick, scream, bite, scratch, head butt...whatever it takes, but be a major pain in the *kitten*. If he has a weapon, this is different, but most do not use a weapon.

5. Get all information you can about the person. Write down his name, address, make and model of car, license plate number, VIN #, whatever. Also keep a log of every-single interaction with him whether it seems trivial or not.

Be safe and good luck!! As to clothing choice...tighter is harder to get off, but most attackers do not make a choice of target because of clothing. There is usually something else, it could be you remind him of an ex-girlfriend, have a certain color hair, or carry yourself a certain way that tripped his trigger.

Honey I would be in jail and plead insanity bc he is in my personal space and I feel stalked and threatend. I would let him know to back the hell back and if not I would also make alot of notes as he could turn stalker like. I would inform the landlord and if needed the police. Knocking on someone door when he knows you live alone at night is grounds in my book to stab or shoot.

BEAR MACE! Not pepper spray!

Do these things

- Call landlord. Tell him what you shared with us.
- Call the police. Tell them what you shared with us, give them his address and name (that you'll get from the landlord if you dont already know) and ask them if he's got some sorta record like sex offender or anything.
- Keep a bat near your door.
- Keep pepper spray, theres some that you can put on your keychain. If he tries to scare you, just pepper spray him (after checking talking to the autorities, tell them that you're feeling scared and you'll be keeping a pepper spray and will be using it on him if he tries something like this, this way you have an alibi sorta). After pepper spray, scream on top of your lungs while trying to get the bat and beat him as much as possible. This is violent, yes, but atleast you're safe from a creep who's on purpose trying to scare you

What riz9007 said is pretty spot on. The comments the person made are really crossing a line. Contact the authorities and bldg management as soon as possible.

It's not worth it to take the risk because he doesn't look like much. This also isn't about being safe for the next few days, this is about being safe, period.

I sincerely hope everything turns out ok for you.

My creeper kept telling me that it was for my own good the whole time he did his thing to me. You have got to follow the advice of riz...for your own safety. Guys that say things like "I was just protecting you" are finding ways to justify their actions. Next he'll be attacking you telling you that he's just trying to show you what can happen if he is not protecting you. Please get the police involved. Now.