Love Question

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  • Anderia
    Anderia Posts: 753 Member
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    I have a hypothetical question for everyone here:

    Let's say your future flashes before your eyes. Everything you see is 100% true.
    You find out that if you are currently single, you will NEVER find romantic love.
    If you are currently in a romantic relationship, that person will fall out of love with you and you will never find love again...

    What would drive you in life, and would this change how you live it?

    Also, what are the pros and cons to this situation?

    Thanks :flowerforyou:

    I don't quite understand the questions, because really, they assume that romantic love IS the drive in life, and if it is not present there should be no drive, because without romantic love, life is apparently not worth living. Which I would hope would NEVER be the case for anyone, because that means that an entire life is defined in terms of another person and their subjective desires. How empty of an existence would that be, to only be driven by the desires of others?

    I have never lived my life with the drive that I need to be defined by romantic love. I have lived my life driven by the desire to improve myself, my knowledge, and the world around me. I am defined by MY actions, not by a relationship status with another person. So in that case, nothing I am doing would change, because not having romantic love in my life is not the defining aspect of my existence, and I can't find any cons to it.

    ^^^^LOVE THIS^^^
  • Shawtee808
    Shawtee808 Posts: 60 Member
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    In that situation I would treasure my friendships and have lots of fun sex with charming people. It wouldn't be so bad.

    Im with her. I would go on vacations, I would get the boidoir photos my ex was never fond of because 'only he should see me that way', I would have a blast with my kids, etc.

    You can get companionship out of your friends and sex out of 'charming people' lol. I dont see how this would be doomed to be horrible. Especially if you find a friend with benefits, wahhhh-la.

    CO-SIGNED!!!
  • pinkpostittwirling
    pinkpostittwirling Posts: 27
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    I am in love with this question! GREAT question! I think about this exact scenario all of the time but you worded it perfectly!

    DANCE would drive me in life: dancing professionally, making up for the first 24 years of my life that I wasn't trained, creating dances to music I love, dancing en pointe, travelling the world as a dancer, becoming an instructor, and sharing my passion with new dancers well into my 100's. :)

    Visit my blog and read more about my passion for dance!
    http://pinkpostittwirling.blogspot.com/

    <3
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    I have a hypothetical question for everyone here:

    Let's say your future flashes before your eyes. Everything you see is 100% true.
    You find out that if you are currently single, you will NEVER find romantic love.
    If you are currently in a romantic relationship, that person will fall out of love with you and you will never find love again...

    What would drive you in life, and would this change how you live it?

    Also, what are the pros and cons to this situation?

    Thanks :flowerforyou:

    This is interesting. Since I'm single I'll go with the first thing that I will never find love.
    Could I change the future? Or no?
    If I couldn't, think it might take a little stress off me because I wouldn't have to worry about trying to impress men.
    If I could, I would really strive to find love, and be open to more possibilities.
  • Farfourah
    Farfourah Posts: 899 Member
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    Money over *****es, becomes my philosophy....
  • Meg177
    Meg177 Posts: 215 Member
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    I would assume that I was hallucinating, and swear never to lick another toad.
    ^^This
  • TheLongRunner
    TheLongRunner Posts: 688 Member
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    I have a hypothetical question for everyone here:

    Let's say your future flashes before your eyes. Everything you see is 100% true.
    You find out that if you are currently single, you will NEVER find romantic love.
    If you are currently in a romantic relationship, that person will fall out of love with you and you will never find love again...

    What would drive you in life, and would this change how you live it?

    Also, what are the pros and cons to this situation?

    Thanks :flowerforyou:

    I don't quite understand the questions, because really, they assume that romantic love IS the drive in life, and if it is not present there should be no drive, because without romantic love, life is apparently not worth living. Which I would hope would NEVER be the case for anyone, because that means that an entire life is defined in terms of another person and their subjective desires. How empty of an existence would that be, to only be driven by the desires of others?

    I have never lived my life with the drive that I need to be defined by romantic love. I have lived my life driven by the desire to improve myself, my knowledge, and the world around me. I am defined by MY actions, not by a relationship status with another person. So in that case, nothing I am doing would change, because not having romantic love in my life is not the defining aspect of my existence, and I can't find any cons to it.

    ^^^^LOVE THIS^^^

    Totally agree with ^^this!
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    I am in love with this question! GREAT question! I think about this exact scenario all of the time but you worded it perfectly!

    DANCE would drive me in life: dancing professionally, making up for the first 24 years of my life that I wasn't trained, creating dances to music I love, dancing en pointe, travelling the world as a dancer, becoming an instructor, and sharing my passion with new dancers well into my 100's. :)

    Visit my blog and read more about my passion for dance!
    http://pinkpostittwirling.blogspot.com/

    <3

    Aww thanks. You made my day :)

    I think dancing sounds similar to something I would pursue, except maybe singing.

    It seems the most popular answer was going to Thailand, however. Maybe we should arrange an MFP trip there...?
  • kandyjay
    kandyjay Posts: 265
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    never find true love? yeah Im already on the road to stamp and coin collections, maybe buy 9 cats and a horse :-)
    I hear ya there!
  • SmashleeWpg
    SmashleeWpg Posts: 566 Member
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    I knit like a maniac, and sew too, and never seem to have enough time ... so I think no love in my life would just mean more time for family, friends, sports, book club, knitting, sewing and work... and less time snuggling up on the couch with the man watching hockey (knitting needles in hand, mind). Really, I think life is what you make it, and like others have said it doesn't necessarily have to be defined by finding or having romantic love - everyone has different motives and agendas and it's not even on some peoples' radars. To each their own! :)
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
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    I was at a point in life where I felt this way and I just lived my life to the fullest. I enjoyed my kids, my friends, my family and learning. While I was out there living life, I just happened to stumble across the most amazing man. He has been my husband for 7 1/2 years and he just adds to the joy in my life.

    You do not need somebody to "drive" you in life. You should do that yourself. A significant other is there as a bonus.

    There was a book out in the 80's called "Men Are Just Desserts" that talked about this very thing. You make the main course of your life and a partner is your dessert. Not necessary but fun to have.

    As to the gentleman who thinks that marriage is geared towards women, you were obviously in a dysfunctional relationship. Marriage, for anybody should be very two sided. Each has times they give and each has times they take. My husband has been there for me as my rock when my two parents passed away, when I was laid off from work and other tough times. He has been there for me as I celebrate successes, and special occasions. I have been there for him through kid problems, job problems and have been there to celebrate his successes and special occasions.

    My Mom used to say a good relationship is like a bank account. Sometimes you make deposits and sometimes you make withdrawals. As long as the deposits are greater than the withdrawals...you're doing great!
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
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    I'm already there yay:/ I thought my ex loved me, stupid really because he was never willing to do anything for me. Anyways I broke up with him seven months ago, and while I've been with a few other boys sexually(I do feel really bad about it, it shouldn't have ever happened) I haven't entered a relationship with anyone as I think I still believe mark and I could have a future. I believe there's a massive difference between being in love and loving someone. Being in love means you can easily fall out of love with them at any point. I still love mark, I loved him from the moment I met him. I love him despite all the hurt he's put me through.
    This break up is the only one that has actually hurt so much. I couldn't cope, because I spent all my free time with him, it was difficult going from that to not seeing him at all. I relapsed into my anorexia more and more until I got sectioned. I got out, slept with the last guy and got pregnant. Had a premature birth, lost my baby, I was just in pieces at this stage. I didn't want to be alive anymore, what was the point. I had lost the only guy I have ever loved and my babies. I have a history with abusing pills and it just seemed like the only way out, but I cried instead. I'm not the crying type, I don't cry, but I cried so hard. I turned back to jesus, he is my light. He drives me to be a better person. I'm in recovery again and trying so hard everyday, I'm not there yet but I know I will be, I have god and he can take this away for me, I just have to want it.
    He is what drives me.
  • SarahxCheesecake
    SarahxCheesecake Posts: 169 Member
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    I have a hypothetical question for everyone here:

    Let's say your future flashes before your eyes. Everything you see is 100% true.
    You find out that if you are currently single, you will NEVER find romantic love.
    If you are currently in a romantic relationship, that person will fall out of love with you and you will never find love again...

    What would drive you in life, and would this change how you live it?

    Also, what are the pros and cons to this situation?

    Thanks :flowerforyou:

    Ticket to Thailand to find a different girl every night who would 'love me long time' ;).
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • AR73
    AR73 Posts: 107
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    I turned back to jesus, he is my light. He drives me to be a better person. I'm in recovery again and trying so hard everyday, I'm not there yet but I know I will be, I have god and he can take this away for me, I just have to want it.
    He is what drives me.

    Keep your Faith in Him and forgive yourself for any mistakes you think you have made as he has already forgiven you.
  • pittfancbk
    pittfancbk Posts: 9 Member
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    I've only been married a year, & sadly my husband & I are trying to get through a snag we're in. It's got to the point to where I have considered having to leave & starting over. I'm still staying married for as long as I can since I believe it's still possible to work things out. If things don't work out, then I've already thought about just how nice it would be to have my own place where I can truly express myself, & breath that I would only have to clean up after my own messes instead of everyone else's. I would also just be sticking w/ re-connecting w/ family & going out w/ friends. After some time would pass, then I would go on to include lots of dates. ;)
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
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    I have a hypothetical question for everyone here:

    Let's say your future flashes before your eyes. Everything you see is 100% true.
    You find out that if you are currently single, you will NEVER find romantic love.
    If you are currently in a romantic relationship, that person will fall out of love with you and you will never find love again...

    What would drive you in life, and would this change how you live it?

    Also, what are the pros and cons to this situation?

    Thanks :flowerforyou:

    I think this would be easier for those already single... they've been going on about their life without any issues. Sure, the desire to love and be loved is probably there. But would the saying "It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." ring true?

    I think that if it were me, either way... whether I knew I would never have true love again or not, the HOPE that being in a romantic relationship would be what keeps me going. If not that, then at least hope for something else. Hope for a sunny, breezy, cool day tomorrow, rather than a cold, windy, gray one. Something of that nature.

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