Does anyone else pretty much have NO support at all?

sadly this is pretty common. You did really awesome on your weigh in, dont let anyone take that from you. You deserve to feel good!!

I agree with the previous post. Don't let others kill it for you. If it bothers you, you should feel free to say something. It's not okay for others to make us feel badly about ourselves, regardless of who they are. No support? ha!!! I've been living in a foreign country now for 3 years, and anyone 5 pounds over their "ideal" weight is just flat out told 'you're fat' - there is no polite monitor here. It does wonders for your self esteem (insert massive sarcastic overtones there). So, if that makes you feel any better - just think of that!

i know what you are feeling, family bringing in candy and cookies. boyfriend thinks that if he don't drink soda and pukes at the gym that he is better than you. people saying you need sleep but when you sleep you have to get up to go to the gym. gym cost rising. boyfriend weighs more than me and telling me i have flabby arms.

Totally know the feeling. Not a lot of support around here. Don't let it get you down. When I did have a BF (he's long gone now) I was so excited to buy a pair of medium pants. His response? "So? they're still not a small" I wanted to kill him.

Same here, people in my life don't understand that I want to get fit. I need more MFP friends, I'll add you.

yes i have been on my own with my new life style for over a year. for the first 6 months when i was at my strongest i was doing great i lost 52lbs. then the holiday stress hit. along with that i have no support from my wife. i know she loves me but she is to wrapped up in all her facebook mommy groups to give me any attention. so my weightloss took a step back and i gained 15 back so i found this site and all the great support i lost 9 so far. and whats really sad is after losing 52lbs you would think your SO would pay more attention but i think its gotten worse

I get a "hey, congratulations" if I really make a point of pointing out how much weight I've lost (22 lbs in 6 weeks). Other than that, it's just me.

The way I choose to look this, I'm doing this for me. I have made me and my health a priority in my life. I don't care if you support me or are envious of me and the positive changes I am making in my life. I will enjoy every step of this journey because this is my life.

Yep, absolutely. Sorry to hear you're going through it, too. Hey when you have NSVs and scale victories you kinda have to enjoy them on your own. You're in it for yourself, bunnylvr, weight loss is not a participation sport.

My classics:

* Wife was dubious about my commitment at the start, then lost interest because of the impact it had on her life ('You're getting up at 5am to go for a run AGAIN? Quit waking me up!' and 'If you want to lose weight, fine, just stop being such a selfish prick about what you eat'). Is now irritated because 80% of my wardrobe has to be thrown away.

* Mother-in-law told me that people who diet beyond what she considers to be a healthy weight (note at the time she made this comment, I was 27% body fat and still in the 'Obese' BMI range) run the risk of forming a mental illness / eating disorder. Has yet to congratulate me on weight loss or fitness. Told me (after injury) that I should listen to my body and just not exercise. She's probably 20 kilos overweight and will likely carry it for the rest of her life; next month I will run 14km for charity, so I don't really pay any attention to her any more.

I stopped waiting for people to mention - or even notice - my weight loss until they asked about it, and stopped enthusing about how wonderful exercise was unless I found someone who wanted to talk about it. My appearance now shocks people I haven't seen for some time - I guess this is validation in some way??

This reminds me of my ex husband. After my second child was born, I had about 50 pounds to lose, which I did, getting down to 135 pounds and looking good for the summer (year was 1990, child was born june 1989). So I lost the weight and was wearing little cutsie shorts and tanning and stuff and I turned around in front of him and said "Aren't you glad I lost all my weight and look hot again like when we met?" He answered " When you get down to about 125, I'll be happy."

So, stupid me, I diet like crazy and lose the ten pounds and so here I am looking like I did in high school (I was 27) and getting compliments from everyone, but he never notices. I told him I lost the weight and he just shrugs it off, like it's no big deal. The real kicker is that he was over 100 pounds overweight! He was over 300 pounds at six feet even.

That's true, if you don't ask about them and harp on about all the good things you've been doing you don't come across well! At least converse a bit first and ask them about themselves before you start gushing about your own successes! (Trust me I've learned this the hard way a couple of times!)

That said, there's the following thing my friend said to me when I was in the same situation as all of you:

"Everyone is happy to get behind a fat bloke, but once a fat bloke starts becoming a thin bloke, the knives come out."..very very true! I had the exact same things, when I first started losing everyone was making sure I hit my calories and that I was doing it right and were happy to talk about it and congradulate me.. The closer I got to their weights the more *****y they got about comments. The favourite seems to be asking about skin and being really nasty about it to try and keep you below them. I actually had to get a few new friends as a result because some just couldn't be nice about it. (don't want them as friends if they're that shallow anyway!)

Oh and to the person who's boyfriend is being nasty, it's because he's worried you'll get fit and get bored of him and move onto someone fitter like you are now. You have to reassure him but at the same time the doubts will still be there, from experience with good reason because I was engaged and the works when I was losing all of mine and we broke up near the end of my journey, I'd completely changed as a person and she was still the same. She'd want to stay in and eat unhealthily while I wanted to always be out and about doing new things, meeting new people and being very healthy and doing lots of exercise. We just ended up being complete opposites so he's probably got good reason to worry a little!

Sadly, I think most of the people on MFP are basically using MFP as their only form of support.

I come from a large family, not in the quantity sense of the word, but the fat sense of the word. My younger sister (15) is morbidly obese, and when I was 191lbs, it looked like I was heading the same way. When I decided to change, I had nothing but "You are stupid for trying to lose weight, you are fine the way you are" and then when I eventually began to lose weight, my mother would tell me "Don't see why you're so happy about it, you yo yo diet all the time and you will eat like a pig at the weekend and just do the same thing all over again"

Unfortunately, she was right. I am not about to blame my mother/family for my size, but I am pretty sure it hasn't helped. I have now hit a wall and haven't lost weight for approximately 5 weeks, so hopefully I can start to exercise more and lose again. Have to give it to MFP, whenever I've felt bad or regretted something, the MFP community never failed to either encourage me to carry on or stop me feeling so depressed. I need to start using this site more often!!! xxx

My husband is as supportive as he can get, he doesn't get upset with me exercising... but he complains when I want him to exercise with me... and he eats what I buy... but the problem with him is snacks, he keeps eating them around me and offering them to me and although most of the time I say no, sometimes I give in and I wish he wouln't tempt me.

Or on the road, it's happened a few times if they mess up our order they give us double the food to appologize and he makes me feel bad until I eat my half because it's a waste and homeless people could use it... I hate that the most.

When I decided to change, I had nothing but "You are stupid for trying to lose weight, you are fine the way you are" and then when I eventually began to lose weight, my mother would tell me "Don't see why you're so happy about it, you yo yo diet all the time and you will eat like a pig at the weekend and just do the same thing all over again"

I think people who are like that are the sort of people who believe it's bad luck/genetics/*insert other generic excuse here* that got them like they are, and they have so much of a victim mentality that they just believe there is no way to fix it.

They do believe what they are telling you, but at the same time, they also want to put you off trying because you might succeed and that will make them look bad, both on a physical level, but also that you can do it when they can't.

Ultimately when you do make it and show them it is possible, they will rationalise it that you are just lucky, and if they tried then it still wouldn't work for them.

Gotta ignore all the negative people and stay inside your own head for that - be happy with the results you see and who cares about what anyone else has to say...

To be pretty honest about it, I never even considered any need for "support".

I made the decision that I wanted to meet specific goals... I spent the time researching HOW to get there.. and now im just doing it.
I dont think i ever asked anyone in real life for help... or anything like that. I dont tell people Im on a diet, or that im trying to lose weight...

I just dont get what kind of "support" you people are really talking about? are you looking for someone to tell you what to do, like a trainer, or do your really expect someone to constantly say "good for you!" when you make a personal decision about food?


btw, that comes off harsh, and I dont mean it that way, its a honest question.. what do you guys mean by "support"?
Im fairly independent, so it honestly baffles me.

I get support fro my husband and my family, which is nice. However, since I'm already pretty thin, people will be really sarcastic when I tell them I've gained a few pounds. They'll ask me "Where? Behind your ears?" They don't realize that three pounds can make a huge difference in the way my clothes fit.

Anyway, let them talk. You're taking this journey for yourself; don't let the other ruin it for you. You go girl!