has anyones SO ever snooped?

mickipedia
mickipedia Posts: 889 Member
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
Have you ever noticed that your partner has been looking through your phone? Or on your facebook?

What did you do? How did you know they'd been looking through your things?

Opinions needed x
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Replies

  • butterflyliz32
    butterflyliz32 Posts: 124 Member
    Toward the end, my exhusband started snooping through my phone. It was a dissapointment, though, since there wasn't anything to find. In our case, it was because HE was doing things he shouldn't be, but was convinced that I was too. Not the case.

    I got remarried a few months ago. My new husband has never snooped. If he is on my phone or computer, it is because he is updating software (IT guy). But, even if he did, there wouldn't be anything to find.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I don't snoop. My wife does not snoop. Other than my work email, I don't have one. I have other emails. Every time we change providers, Holland or Jan usually sets up an email for me, tells me the password and then I forget it. Probably got junk piling up under Hotmail, Yahoo, Google, whatever. I'll never know. FB? Holland set it up. Everyone in the house knows the password. Jan and Holland have all the account numbers and passwords to my banking, shopping, etc.

    I'm sure they look at my Amazon Account. Every time I put something on a "Wish List', it magically shows up at the house.

    If you can't trust your partner or your partner can't trust you, what's the point?
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    My fiance and I don't snoop at eachothers things, we don't have anything to hide from eachother and we are completely honest about things. He can go through my phone all day and I can go through his, never anything to worry about.

    Trust, it's a good thing to have in a relationship.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    if there is reason to snoop then there is something wrong...either trust issues based from realationship issues or insecurities on the part of the snooper. It shouldn't be happening and it would need to be addressed.
  • BeautifulRedButterfly
    BeautifulRedButterfly Posts: 316 Member
    My fiance would look at my phone. Never at my facebook yet, but he asks if I add anyone.
    I really don't care. I have nothing to hide from him.
  • ahoov72
    ahoov72 Posts: 20
    we dont snoop because we have no reason too so it never even crosses my mind,if either of u feel u need to snoop then u need to sit down and have a talk to see if there is anything either of u need to tell the other. communication is very important. good luck to u
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    No snooping here.
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    My husband and I have each others' passwords, so it's not "snooping" :wink: Neither of us are jealous or insecure, we just decided to be totally transparent with each other, so that there will never be room for suspicion or jealousy. I don't think he even looks in my accounts even though he has the password--I know I rarely look in his. But I'm a very social person, so I've got all these friends (guys and gals) on facebook and other internet boards that he does not know...if he ever wonders, he can see for himself I've nothing to hide. Works for us!
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
    Mine has. I dont hide anything from him and I really don't care if he snoops around. My interpretation is that he is being protective of me. Unfortunately for my SO, I'm a stubborn ox ... and about as bright as one at times too... and I'll do what I want anyway.
  • mickipedia
    mickipedia Posts: 889 Member
    Well my boyfriend keeps looking at my phone and my facebook and accusing me once he sees something.

    Like today for example he saw that a friend had sent me a private message with someones number called "Phil" he then started texting me accusing me of god knows what and he didn't actually read my post that she was replying to that was asking people for driving instructors.

    I then tried to explain to him how irritating I find it because I have nothing to hide but he checks these things at least once a week and then reads in to things too much and starts accusing.. This has been going on for almost a year now and its driving me insane so I said to him today that if I find out he's looked at something again then its over for us.

    Am I being too harsh?
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
    Theres been a few times shes gone through my friends going "who is that? I dont know her!". In short, she had a bad day, and decided acting jealous might be a fun response. It wasnt. I responded by deleteing 75% of my FB friends. Now she cant get mad about it again, and seeing as I hadnt even logged on facebook for over a year at that point, it wasnt really a big loss
  • MaryPhillips90
    MaryPhillips90 Posts: 236 Member
    I personally don't mind my husband being curious because I'm a curious person myself. That doesn't mean that I think he is hiding anything or vice versa. He actually knows all of my passwords, but never logs on to any site that I'm a part of. Occassionally he will read a few text messages, but I do the same. I don't think there is anything wrong with knowing what's going on in your significant other's life. I like for my husband to know.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I have snooped before. It was after my ex cheated. I realized I didn't want to live that way. I want to be with someone where it doesn't even occur to me to act like a mad woman.

    If there is snooping, there's a problem.
  • MaryPhillips90
    MaryPhillips90 Posts: 236 Member
    Well my boyfriend keeps looking at my phone and my facebook and accusing me once he sees something.

    Like today for example he saw that a friend had sent me a private message with someones number called "Phil" he then started texting me accusing me of god knows what and he didn't actually read my post that she was replying to that was asking people for driving instructors.

    I then tried to explain to him how irritating I find it because I have nothing to hide but he checks these things at least once a week and then reads in to things too much and starts accusing.. This has been going on for almost a year now and its driving me insane so I said to him today that if I find out he's looked at something again then its over for us.

    Am I being too harsh?

    He's VERY insecure and obviously doesn't trust you because of his own insecurities. This can be a bane to a relationship. If he keeps doing it even after he finds you aren't hiding anything, then something, I don't know what, should be done or said. You're not being harsh, you're just trying to avoid the ridiculousness.
  • npeters519
    npeters519 Posts: 87 Member
    I wouldn't consider that snooping. My husband has free reign of my phone, facebook, email, whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I have nothing to hide therefore he has nothing to look for. In fact, he doesn't do technology very much but he does like to see his friends pics and stuff on Facebook so I add all of his friends to my page and he just uses mine anytime he wants.

    I agree with La_Amazona - if there is snooping, there's a problem.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I snooped once. But, it was at the end of our relationship and I was convinced she was cheating. She was. So, ... I guess I win?

    Nothing hurts more than that. Well, I guess there are other things, but that was a shocker.
  • aj_gettingfit
    aj_gettingfit Posts: 257
    I've had this issue recently. Turns out my husband didn't think I was being loving enough to him and he was insecure because of all the weight I had lost and how different I look. The problem was we should have communicated better with each other before it resorted to 'snooping'. He is able to look at everything of mine and I have nothing to hide so it doesn't matter to me.

    Maybe sit down and ask him why he feels the need to snoop.
  • Anomalia
    Anomalia Posts: 506 Member
    I don't date and I don't use social media sites so I'm in the clear.
  • jamiesadler
    jamiesadler Posts: 634 Member
    not really but we dont have anything to hide from each other. If someone is snooping there may be trust issues. If you can trust each other no relationship will work.
  • raines_eric
    raines_eric Posts: 49
    Toward the end, my exhusband started snooping through my phone. It was a dissapointment, though, since there wasn't anything to find. In our case, it was because HE was doing things he shouldn't be, but was convinced that I was too. Not the case.

    We often see the world as we ourselves are... very sad.
  • OLFATUG
    OLFATUG Posts: 393 Member
    I leave my facebook and mfp account up on the family laptop all day. My wife leaves hers up on the other tabs. I just have nothing to hide.
  • peteb79
    peteb79 Posts: 386
    My wife goes on my Facebook account all the time, but not to snoop. She plays games and uses my account to help her out in her game.. No snooping here, but nothing to hide either.
  • elainecroft
    elainecroft Posts: 595 Member
    Well my boyfriend keeps looking at my phone and my facebook and accusing me once he sees something.

    Like today for example he saw that a friend had sent me a private message with someones number called "Phil" he then started texting me accusing me of god knows what and he didn't actually read my post that she was replying to that was asking people for driving instructors.

    I then tried to explain to him how irritating I find it because I have nothing to hide but he checks these things at least once a week and then reads in to things too much and starts accusing.. This has been going on for almost a year now and its driving me insane so I said to him today that if I find out he's looked at something again then its over for us.

    Am I being too harsh?

    No. He's being insecure and insensitive to your reasonable requests. You are completely justified to tell him this is unacceptable.
  • runbyme
    runbyme Posts: 522 Member
    You are not being to harsh! I would dump him like last nights gravy. If he has these control/insecurity issues now, what will your future with him hold? You deserve way better than this!
    Well my boyfriend keeps looking at my phone and my facebook and accusing me once he sees something.

    Like today for example he saw that a friend had sent me a private message with someones number called "Phil" he then started texting me accusing me of god knows what and he didn't actually read my post that she was replying to that was asking people for driving instructors.

    I then tried to explain to him how irritating I find it because I have nothing to hide but he checks these things at least once a week and then reads in to things too much and starts accusing.. This has been going on for almost a year now and its driving me insane so I said to him today that if I find out he's looked at something again then its over for us.

    Am I being too harsh?
  • NightOwl1
    NightOwl1 Posts: 881 Member
    Well my boyfriend keeps looking at my phone and my facebook and accusing me once he sees something.

    Like today for example he saw that a friend had sent me a private message with someones number called "Phil" he then started texting me accusing me of god knows what and he didn't actually read my post that she was replying to that was asking people for driving instructors.

    I then tried to explain to him how irritating I find it because I have nothing to hide but he checks these things at least once a week and then reads in to things too much and starts accusing.. This has been going on for almost a year now and its driving me insane so I said to him today that if I find out he's looked at something again then its over for us.

    Am I being too harsh?

    Sounds like you need a new boyfriend.

    Controlling behavior is not a good thing. It's okay if a person wants to voluntarily share their email/facebook/phone with each other, but snooping and questioning every move they make is controlling behavior and not indicative of a healthy relationship.
  • burg1801
    burg1801 Posts: 124
    I stay clear of facebook to avoid those 'myspace-sque top friend' drama scenarios.
  • lookpretty
    lookpretty Posts: 276 Member
    wont lie, I got curious, snooping would be a bit much because usually right in front of him but hed do the same to me, if I were in my email hed glance emails and if one caught his attention hed want to see it, it wasnt trust more out of curiousity hown we talk to others, he is a mean sob at work because of what he does and Im a two faced lier at work (vain industry) so its a bit humurous to figure out how we interact, he will read my emails to people at work in a very clinical nasal voice lol. He also read through emails I had sent to potential bfs before him, I think curiousity gets the best of people, isnt necesarilly trust issues
  • dawn_eichert
    dawn_eichert Posts: 487 Member
    Well my boyfriend keeps looking at my phone and my facebook and accusing me once he sees something.

    Like today for example he saw that a friend had sent me a private message with someones number called "Phil" he then started texting me accusing me of god knows what and he didn't actually read my post that she was replying to that was asking people for driving instructors.

    I then tried to explain to him how irritating I find it because I have nothing to hide but he checks these things at least once a week and then reads in to things too much and starts accusing.. This has been going on for almost a year now and its driving me insane so I said to him today that if I find out he's looked at something again then its over for us.

    Am I being too harsh?

    Honey he is obviously very insecure. This behavior at this stage isn't a good thing. Boyfriends who act like this become very controlling husbands to where your life isn't your own anymore. I would serious consider where you see things going and if you are in a good relationship. I have been there and the best thing I ever did was get out. But that was me. You need to decide what is best for you. You aren't being harsh at all and maybe you need to consider if you need to take it one step further and not just make ultimatiums. Good luck
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,900 Member
    hubby and I do it to each other all the time, from me it's not that I don't trust him I am just bored. Him on the other hand he is working on his jealous side. How I know he has snooped, he will tell me and ask who is this and why were you talking to him?
    I don't have any problems with him looking unless if he is on a witch hunt where he is looking for something to hold against me. It has happened before and that is where I give him the lecture on who I am to him and how bad it makes him look to think of me like that. I go the guilt rout, it seems to work with him.
  • Devlyn_P
    Devlyn_P Posts: 294 Member
    My ex went on my FB page all the time and sent messages to some girls on there asking how they knew me etc. Needless to say she became the ex fairly shortly once I found out. That kind of psycho behavior is not healthy and if trust is not there, no point in continuing on the wrong path with that particular someone. Confidence is attractive and insecurity is a major turn off.
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