When to send relationship request on FB?

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i_love_vinegar
i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
in Chit-Chat
I went to a friend's bday party last month and met this guy who was our mutual friend. I liked him off-the-bat, and it ended up he felt the same way. We exchanged numbers. I'm a cautious person, and he had to go out of town for a couple weeks, but we texted every couple days. I wasn't sure whether the feelings would still be there when we weren't at a party (dancing, drinking, lots of other people).

Then he came back to town and asked to hang out, and although I was sick, I went on the date anyway because I wanted to see if the feelings were still the same as that night. Not only did I feel just as comfortable around him as the night we met, he was really sweet and showed me an amazing time. The date ended in kisses, and we are supposed to hang out again soon. :smooched:

When should I send a request, or should I wait for him to send one? I'm 22, he's in his 30's. He doesn't use Facebook very much, although I use it on a regular basis. I've never done this before. :ohwell:

I don't want to come off as clingy, but also don't want to seem like I'm "keeping my options open," or "keeping the relationship secret." etc. I want everyone to know I've met this awesome, great guy :flowerforyou:

Any advice? Thanks! :happy:
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Replies

  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.
  • xo_morgan
    xo_morgan Posts: 298
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    I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.

    i second this. i would wait until you guys have a mutual conversation about what "this" exactly is. a few more dates & talk about if you two are exclusive. You may want to put a title on it but he may not want to just yet.
  • Jules0336
    Jules0336 Posts: 137 Member
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    Don't do it yet. That will most likely scare him off, and fast.

    I would wait until you are in a commited relationship.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.

    Thanks! :flowerforyou:
  • Charliesuccess
    Charliesuccess Posts: 181 Member
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    Ok...you kissed while you were sick, just curious.....

    just be cool for now...sounds pretty casual for now...although you guys did kiss while you were sick.....
    I wouldnt shout it from the roof top on FB just yet....well except the fact that someone smooched ya while you were sick.....:bigsmile:
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.

    i second this. i would wait until you guys have a mutual conversation about what "this" exactly is. a few more dates & talk about if you two are exclusive. You may want to put a title on it but he may not want to just yet.

    Thank you! That's a good idea. It's good to make sure! :flowerforyou:
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    Don't do it yet. That will most likely scare him off, and fast.

    I would wait until you are in a commited relationship.

    Thank you! Good point! :smile:
  • tehzephyrsong
    tehzephyrsong Posts: 435 Member
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    Agreeing with other people: wait a while longer, until you manage to better define what your relationship is. If you go on a few more dates and it looks like it's just gonna be a casual thing, then don't go running to tell Facebook about it; you're 22 gorram years old. Stop acting like a teenager. But if you really hit it off and decide to be exclusive, then you can broach the subject of making it "Facebook-official."
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    Ok...you kissed while you were sick, just curious.....

    just be cool for now...sounds pretty casual for now...although you guys did kiss while you were sick.....
    I wouldnt shout it from the roof top on FB just yet....well except the fact that someone smooched ya while you were sick.....:bigsmile:

    :laugh: Your answer is hilarious~I warned him though! :tongue:
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    Agreeing with other people: wait a while longer, until you manage to better define what your relationship is. If you go on a few more dates and it looks like it's just gonna be a casual thing, then don't go running to tell Facebook about it; you're 22 gorram years old. Stop acting like a teenager. But if you really hit it off and decide to be exclusive, then you can broach the subject of making it "Facebook-official."

    I don't feel I'm acting like a teenager. I got a FB this year, and have never had this situation come up before where I really hit it off with someone.

    I should have been more clear in that I feel he is serious about this as well though. He brought me a gift, took me out to a very expensive restaurant, planned multiple future dates, and asked me to go on vacation with him. I am hoping it is not just a casual thing, but agree it is smart to play it safe. :smile:
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    I just want to say I have my answer -- Thanks everyone! I appreciate all of the answers and am glad they were all in agreement. I originally felt it was too soon, but couldn't find any clear information through Google. Thanks again. :flowerforyou:
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    If you are concerned that he might think you are keeping your options open, hide your relationship status for now.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    Agreeing with other people: wait a while longer, until you manage to better define what your relationship is. If you go on a few more dates and it looks like it's just gonna be a casual thing, then don't go running to tell Facebook about it; you're 22 gorram years old. Stop acting like a teenager. But if you really hit it off and decide to be exclusive, then you can broach the subject of making it "Facebook-official."

    I don't feel I'm acting like a teenager. I got a FB this year, and have never had this situation come up before where I really hit it off with someone.

    I should have been more clear in that I feel he is serious about this as well though. He brought me a gift, took me out to a very expensive restaurant, planned multiple future dates, and asked me to go on vacation with him. I am hoping it is not just a casual thing, but agree it is smart to play it safe. :smile:

    Just make sure he's not just horny. Guys will do all kinds of s$@t. Sometimes, they even believe themselves for a while. You got to let things settle down for a while before you will know. Once you establish the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, at that point, you can "friend" him. Of course, all his ex's will probably be there, and you'll see them, and they'll see you. It adds an interesting element, I think. LOL.
  • RosieB405
    RosieB405 Posts: 150 Member
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    First off why does it matter that your "facebook friends" know you are in a relationship when if you are really in a relationship your real friends will eventually meet him in person

    Second unless you have had a conversation to discuss if you are in a real realtionship or just dating don't assume and don't rush things usually seem great in the begining....and then you really get to know each other.
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
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    I think you shoul hold off on the request...
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
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    If you are concerned that he might think you are keeping your options open, hide your relationship status for now.

    ^^^ This is what i thought also.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    Agreeing with other people: wait a while longer, until you manage to better define what your relationship is. If you go on a few more dates and it looks like it's just gonna be a casual thing, then don't go running to tell Facebook about it; you're 22 gorram years old. Stop acting like a teenager. But if you really hit it off and decide to be exclusive, then you can broach the subject of making it "Facebook-official."

    I don't feel I'm acting like a teenager. I got a FB this year, and have never had this situation come up before where I really hit it off with someone.

    I should have been more clear in that I feel he is serious about this as well though. He brought me a gift, took me out to a very expensive restaurant, planned multiple future dates, and asked me to go on vacation with him. I am hoping it is not just a casual thing, but agree it is smart to play it safe. :smile:

    Just make sure he's not just horny. Guys will do all kinds of s$@t. Sometimes, they even believe themselves for a while. You got to let things settle down for a while before you will know. Once you establish the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, at that point, you can "friend" him. Of course, all his ex's will probably be there, and you'll see them, and they'll see you. It adds an interesting element, I think. LOL.

    Great point! I will make sure of that. Vacation would be separate rooms for instance. And yes, the ex element. haha. Thanks. :tongue:
  • unmitigatedbadassery
    unmitigatedbadassery Posts: 653 Member
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    Are we talking "friend request" or adding him to your relationship status?

    For a simple friend request I would add him when ever you want. For adding him to your relationship status I would wait until you both have discussed that you are exclusive and it looks like things are headed in the right direction. People still talk about things right?1
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    You know, I generally ask people in person before I send them a request anyway.
  • amyy902
    amyy902 Posts: 290 Member
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    id say wait, and when its 'official' do it.
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