Rude MFP posters...
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Is this really necessary? :grumble:
People do a lot of things that aren't completely necessary.0 -
at least in life you have that face to face advantage to speak directly to the rude person. On here I dont expect anything other then kindness, understanding, help and motivation, and seeing as how this is the 4th or 5th post I have seen on rudeness, it is apparent that it is a problem on here, as well as on every other forum out there, but does that make it right??? No, it does not. Being rude is not acceptable, should not be condoned or rationalized away.
Are we not all here for the same common reason, to be fit, healthy and lose weight or maintain???
Thank you :flowerforyou: ... Just because it happens...doesn't mean everyone needs to be rude on here. I can only imagine how many nasty posts I'm going to get in response from people.. which further proves my point. Some people need to get over themselves.
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As a 55 year old, I have watched society go from one in which people debate the issues to one in which people attack the person rather than debate the issues. Whether this is from people lacking the knowledge needed to debate the issues or lacking the ability to put together their argument in a manner in which they can successful support their point, I don't know. I have noticed, though, that in 99% of the cases in which the person has to be rude, sarcastic, bullying, or abusive, the issues seems to stem from fear.
Fear is a funny thing.
Some feel that their opinion is the right opinion, but others are presenting other opinions that differ from they's, so they may fear that their opinion is now wrong. This is an ego problem. People like their ego stroked, not snipped. Many don't want to admit that they don't know it all. Some don't want to admit that there are other ways to do things. And still others don't want to face the fact that they may have held on to knowledge that was incorrect and will now have to bite the bullet (no calories there) and learn the right information.
In some cases, people don't want to accept that something is really the way it is, so they will fear the change and be rude to the person proposing the change. I find that many people, young and old, seem to live in an illusional word. When prevented with what is real, they have a problem accepting these things. They would rather not know what is true and will become nasty when someone does point it out to them.
Then we have people who take things personally. I once posted about what I was seeing in regards to students at the college where I teach and got jumped all over by one poster who literally attacked me, not my argument. Such attacks occur because the person is fears that you are pointing your finger at them, saying that they did this or that. Even though you are not, they still feel a need to attack you because they literally believe that they are being attacked by you.
When a person attacks me, I just laugh because I know it is because what I am saying is pretty much the truth and they can't pick it apart, so they need to attack someone. Most likely the person is living under the delusion that things are a certain way and I just burst their bubble. So they are fearful because of what is actually happening in the world.
Many people don't want to hear truth. When they are told truth, the fear kicks in. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Suffering is something people don't want to deal with. Many who are suffering will lash out at other people. They throw nasty, sarcastic and caustic remarks at people in order to relieve their own misery.
The best thing to do is ignore them. They are all over the place. People whose lives are so miserable that they can't help but make others miserable as well. Don't let them.
What is really sad is that these miserable people don't realize that they could just improve their lives if they would just change their attitude.
Just realize that they are everywhere. Not just online. They are like zombies, walking around and spreading their misery like it is the bubonic plague. Just put on a smile, don't say anything about their nasty behavior, and keep on trucking. Don't give them the power to ruin your life by making you as miserable as they are.0 -
Generally it's not rudeness. It's sarcasm, which doesn't translate well online. :flowerforyou:
ditto.
e-thug, out!0 -
I will say that the rudeness on this forum is NOTHING compared to pretty much every other forum I've ever been on. I usually frequent punk rock, video game, and law school forums though, so maybe that's the problem.0
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I'll see your unicorn glitter and raise you some pegasus farts.I will add this...
It doesn't matter where you go in life whether it be IRL or on the internet, you are going to come across people who legit are negative and just plain unhappy. Unfortunately, yes some people DO take it out on others but just walk away. Who cares! Complaining about it only fuels their fire.
I am one snarky person. I sometimes forget sarcasm doesn't come through well on my posts. Anyone who really knows me knows that I am very genuine and offer support when needed, absolutely. We won't always understand eachothers sarcasm, jokes, whatever....but the last thing to help the situation is to post something about it pointing fingers.
There is much more positive on this site than negative and I hope you are able to embrace it.
Ok that's all I have for today of my unicorn glitter thoughts.
:flowerforyou:
The internet is a rough place sometimes. You either have to develop a thicker skin or your feelings will get hurt. Feisty is right. The real world isn't much different. You just have to learn to ignore the bullies, appreciate the sarcasm, and embrace the snark!0 -
Did I hear someone mention tequilla?
Seriously, I seldom see blatandly rude people. I do see a lot of over-sensitive people though, maybe this is related?0 -
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You know the really sad thing? People will flock to a thread like this, or a thread complaining about negativity (oh, the irony!) ... and it will get more attention than someone's genuine question or a success story thread.
And crap... I'm part of the problem. :blushing:
This ^^^^
Not really any point in this thread..... It will just attract all the rude people as you say to comment... lol0 -
Kind of confused about what this post is accomplishing... do you think the 'rude posters' are going to see it and stop being rude? Or do you think that you're going to rally a bunch of snarky people on the 'non-rude' side to start siding against the 'rude' people? Do you want to be smug about how not-rude you are by complaining about rude people and inciting more rudeness?
A great way not to let the rude people win is to stay on-topic and ignore them. Starting another topic like this is passive aggressive at best and accomplishes nothing.
Not to mention, when you poke and provoke and just take the bait of a rude person (or internet troll) then they know they have you and just lead you onto a painful and frustrating downward spiral.
However, I do think that there are tons of positive and well-meaning people in these forums. Lots of people with the same goal (to become healthy by either loosing weight, gaining muscle, or staying at a healthy weight)and when you have multiple people with the same goal, it's easier to become friends with them and lead eachother on. My friend's list is filled with people that congratulate me on logging in for 20 days straight and when I eat well. The fourms do the same thing if it calls for it.
Those that say something insulting or rude, just dont bother with them. They offer no kind of constructive critisism and so what can you take from what they say? Take from the internet what will help you on your fitness journey and leave what would hinder you.0 -
CLASSIC!0 -
I view the forums as entertainment (with benefits). An occasional *kitten* keeps things interesting. Some people take all this personally and WAY too serious!! How can you take a statement personally when people don't even know you? And you say, "how could someone say that when they don't even know me??" See, there ya go! Don't sweat the small stuff.0
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Completely.... especially when you start a topic that feeds the trolls.
use your brain for what it was intended for... if you don't like the rude posters don't post calling them out.0 -
I belong to a number of message boards and forums, some of which are political. Politics brings out the worst in people. I've learned to grow an extra layer of thick skin. Really does you no good to fret over every mean remark.
Last weekend on MFP I received a response to my post: "STFU Retard." I thought it was hilarious.0 -
Rude is subjective- especially when in the context of the written word. There is no tone or inflection in someones writing. So most of the "rude" things are what YOU are perceiving as rude, and might not be in intention of the poster.
Yes, I am sure there are some obvious cases when you can without a doubt tell someone is being a jack-a**, at that point you have the option to ignore them and move on- or you can feed into it, and then cause threads like this to be posted in response, which really just gives them more fuel.
Kill them with kindess- or remember that this is an internet based forum, and no matter what you do, there will always be someone who is less than kind, and let it roll off your back.0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Generally it's not rudeness. It's sarcasm, which doesn't translate well online. :flowerforyou:
Oh THERE'S an insightful reply.
Kidding! Kidding!
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On here I dont expect anything other then kindness, understanding, help and motivation, and seeing as how this is the 4th or 5th post I have seen on rudeness, it is apparent that it is a problem on here, as well as on every other forum out there, but does that make it right??? No, it does not. Being rude is not acceptable, should not be condoned or rationalized away.
Are we not all here for the same common reason, to be fit, healthy and lose weight or maintain???
The fact that people create posts to address rudeness only enhances one's own sense of self-righteousness. It does not directly address the rude people on other threads but only creates a distraction from the real problem. A lot of people are overly sensitive, sheltered, and naive to think they can live in a world where somebody isn't going to call them stupid, fat, lazy, and any other number of derogatory terms. The internet is not a utopia. You can go to any church, mosque, synagogue or whatever and find a nice mix of kind and rude people. You walk down the street, there will be those who would give you the shirt off their back as well as others who would try to take yours away.
There is no utopia, especially not on the internet.0 -
A great way not to let the rude people win is to stay on-topic and ignore them. Starting another topic like this is passive aggressive at best and accomplishes nothing.
Ahhhh, planned ignoring. My absolute favorite intervention!
Rudeness is an attention seeking behavior ... stop paying attention and the behavior will stop.0 -
Funny it seems to always be the same people being rude or nasty to others. You can always ignore a user. You will never have to see another post from them. I use it regularly and love it!0
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Is this the kind of poster you were talking about?
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Purple0
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This thread was just asking for all the rude people to reunite....once again....great.:sick:
Btw all the rude people met in school on a bus
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Kind of confused about what this post is accomplishing... do you think the 'rude posters' are going to see it and stop being rude? Or do you think that you're going to rally a bunch of snarky people on the 'non-rude' side to start siding against the 'rude' people? Do you want to be smug about how not-rude you are by complaining about rude people and inciting more rudeness?
A great way not to let the rude people win is to stay on-topic and ignore them. Starting another topic like this is passive aggressive at best and accomplishes nothing.
Not to mention, when you poke and provoke and just take the bait of a rude person (or internet troll) then they know they have you and just lead you onto a painful and frustrating downward spiral.
However, I do think that there are tons of positive and well-meaning people in these forums. Lots of people with the same goal (to become healthy by either loosing weight, gaining muscle, or staying at a healthy weight)and when you have multiple people with the same goal, it's easier to become friends with them and lead eachother on. My friend's list is filled with people that congratulate me on logging in for 20 days straight and when I eat well. The fourms do the same thing if it calls for it.
Those that say something insulting or rude, just dont bother with them. They offer no kind of constructive critisism and so what can you take from what they say? Take from the internet what will help you on your fitness journey and leave what would hinder you.
So many of the 'rude' people I've seen on these forums are just trying to be helpful or correct misinformation. Maybe they're not very tactful, but I don't see that many honest-to-god trolls on this site, honestly.
Lately a lot of people have been posting along the lines of, "but do I really have to eat above 1200 calories?" and then others respond saying yes, you do... but they're not full of sweetness and rainbows when they say it. They get impatient. Which then others interpret as rudeness, and yet others scream at the top of their lungs about how the naysayers are just being unsupportive, and then someone posts about how rude everyone is and everyone piles on.
I don't see many real trolls. I see people complaining about rudeness and meanness when people don't agree with them. I don't know about the specific incidents the OP is talking about - in fact, I'd hope there aren't specific incidents, because it's against the rules of the forum to start a new thread to continue drama from elsewhere - but most of what I've seen is just people starting things like this when someone disagrees with them.
The person who tells you your diet could use an adjustment may just be trying to help, in their own slightly grating way.0 -
I think a majority of people on MFP are very kind, supportive and helpful.
Unfortunately the rude minority tend to hi-jack a lot of threads!
Rudeness seems to stem from the view that "Everyone of MFP should be using it for the same reasons as me". In fact, this is nonsense. Here are some of the many goals I have seen:
"I'm overweight and want to loose weight by controlling the calories I eat." Generally these people have an emotional connection to food and eating - posts will be about substituting healthier options for favourite food types, cheat days and struggling to stay on track. Some questions about 'fad' diets and whether they work.
"I'm underweight/have an eating disorder and need to control what I eat" Again, emotional connection with food but posts will be about how few calories are acceptable and whether to eat back exercise calories. Also some questions about 'fad' diets and whether they work.
"I want to improve the quality of my diet" People who want to eat food which is good for them - not just in terms of calories but overall. Often talk about "Eating clean" which means cooking from scratch/using natural ingredients.
"I want to get fit" - people who see food as a way to fuel their activities. These have two sub categories - body builders/toners and people who are CV focused (Runners etc). Most posts are about work out routines / tips and tricks and which supplements to use.
"I want to maintain my weight having achieved my target" - speaks for itself. Mostly post in the chit chat forum.
"I'm a troll and I want to annoy as many people as possible" - Idiots who should have their internet connection cut off. Preferably taking body parts with it. Normally identifiable by the fact they have less than 10 posts and no diary!
There is a simple rule to avoid being rude - try and understand the OP's motivation and respond with an answer which addresses what they want to achieve: Don't try and convince them to be a carbon copy of yourself. You can draw from your own experience, just keep it in context. Someone feeling miserable because they just ate a giant piece of chocolate cake probably wont feel better if you tell them "its only 500 calories - you can burn that off on a 30 minute run" - for some people a 30 minute run is a long term goal - not something you just go out and do because its lunchtime!
You can make up your own examples - its easy!
Finally - if you think people might misinterpret your comments, use tags
[sarcasm]I think sarcasm has no place anywhere on a forum. Anyone who uses sarcasm should be chopped into small cubes and then cooked with a nice tomato and onion sauce.[/sarcasm]
[joke]And on that note - F###you all, C###s[/joke]0 -
Kind of confused about what this post is accomplishing... do you think the 'rude posters' are going to see it and stop being rude? Or do you think that you're going to rally a bunch of snarky people on the 'non-rude' side to start siding against the 'rude' people? Do you want to be smug about how not-rude you are by complaining about rude people and inciting more rudeness?
A great way not to let the rude people win is to stay on-topic and ignore them. Starting another topic like this is passive aggressive at best and accomplishes nothing.
:flowerforyou: Hope you have a great day
AMEN SISTER!0 -
I don't know if you guys noticed this, but I have noticed that men with pictures of themselves in front of the mirror with their gigantic bulging biceps are the meanest -- maybe we are dealing with 'roid rage here Yeah, I have noticed some rudeness from others as well: EMO types, probably those bitter of people's progress, those who can't share their negativity in anyone else's forums..... It's sad but true! We shall be positive and continue our MFP!
I would have to disagree with this, I have some of those guys on my FL and they are awesome and totally supportive.0 -
The fact that people create posts to address rudeness only enhances one's own sense of self-righteousness.
I see it as a validation thing.
Step one: Post about how people are rude
Step two: Get agreement on an obvious statement
Step three: Reply along the lines of "THANK you!!!"
Step four: Feel smug about being better than ambiguously defined 'rude people' and leading the crusade for manners in society0 -
I don't know if you guys noticed this, but I have noticed that men with pictures of themselves in front of the mirror with their gigantic bulging biceps are the meanest -- maybe we are dealing with 'roid rage here Yeah, I have noticed some rudeness from others as well: EMO types, probably those bitter of people's progress, those who can't share their negativity in anyone else's forums..... It's sad but true! We shall be positive and continue our MFP!
Wow, with all those meanie muscley types it's a good thing you're so uppity positive and open minded! Phew, what would this place be like without people like you?
Pot, I gotta a kettle over here, pot where are you?0
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