Would You Be Offended If...

Novikay
Novikay Posts: 62
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
Ok, So I just read a post about a woman asking what other people thought when they saw overweight people running. Just about all of the comments were really positive and encouraging and I was really happy to read them, so kudos to everyone that commented!!

One of the comments did get me thinking though - she said something along the lines of that when she sees an overweight person running, she wants to say a word of encouragement to them or let them know she was once there and knows how hard it is and to keep going, but doesn't want to because they would probably think it was weird coming from a stranger.

I've thought the same thing! I've lost a lot of weight, and I started my weightloss by running a lot, so I can totally relate to overweight people running. I always want to give a word of encouragement, but I wouldn't want to make anyone feel weird or offended or embarrassed, even though that's far from my intention.

So what does anyone else think? Would you feel weird if a random person came up and said something to you while running?
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Replies

  • Novikay
    Novikay Posts: 62
    *or after running...that might be better lol
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    My friend is what you'd think is overweight. But he can run circles around me. I think a simple thumbs up is fine. Because that person might be a better runner than you think.
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
    Personally no and I think the majority of people would feel the same way. It is always a good feeling to get a compliment or kind words from a strangler IMO.
  • Novikay
    Novikay Posts: 62
    My friend is what you'd think is overweight. But he can run circles around me. I think a simple thumbs up is fine. Because that person might be a better runner than you think.

    That's really true.
  • littlebuddy84
    littlebuddy84 Posts: 995 Member
    Id be delighted :-)
  • MrsLVF
    MrsLVF Posts: 787 Member
    I guess it depends on what you said.

    If a random thin stranger said "Keep it up, I lost 40 lbs running." I'd probably reply, "Did you just call me fat?"

    But if they said " It's a nice day for a run, I've been running this path for 2 years, and lost 40 lbs, I'm still running to maintain my weight loss."
    I would be motivated, and not offended.
  • mrshayes1584
    mrshayes1584 Posts: 40
    I think maybe shouting a quick "Keep up the good work" or "Way to go" would suffice and be much better than walking up to them and basically starting a conversation that will lead to their weight while distracting them from the hard work they're doing.
  • Loseweight1980
    Loseweight1980 Posts: 94
    Personally, and obviously, this is quite a personality flaw, I HATE positive encouragement... I'd rather have someone yell, "that's all you got?" Then tell me to keep up the good work... but I do know most people are NOT like that :-)
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
    I love positive encouragement, and I also get motivated by negative encouragement to prove them wrong LOL.
  • peacek
    peacek Posts: 211
    I like people who keep their comments to themselves- especially if it's related to my workouts!
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
    I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

    The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

    Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I generally just smile at them because I'm usually at the park walking or running myself. LOL! Seems to be enough.
  • brittyc1988
    brittyc1988 Posts: 35
    I would say unless they spark convo with you to leave it alone because some people would be embarrassed that you notice them working out! I just made a new friend in the gym recently and I always encourage her but I didnt start doing that until I saw that she was comfortable around me! The girl was literally locking our fitness room everytime she was in there because she didnt like working out in front of people but now we're work out buddies. I would for sure tread lightly
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
    A nod and a thumbs up would be cool. The person on the opposite end could take it the way they want. When I first started running I was greeted by strangers in that manner and it was cool. I'm not really into having conversations during or directly after a work out.
  • jenbk2
    jenbk2 Posts: 614 Member
    I would love simple words of encouragement would be nice.
  • Novikay
    Novikay Posts: 62
    I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

    The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

    Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

    This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

    But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.
  • s1lence
    s1lence Posts: 493
    I guess it depends on what you said.

    If a random thin stranger said "Keep it up, I lost 40 lbs running." I'd probably reply, "Did you just call me fat?"

    But if they said " It's a nice day for a run, I've been running this path for 2 years, and lost 40 lbs, I'm still running to maintain my weight loss."
    I would be motivated, and not offended.

    This I agree with. If a random stranger just came up to me and said "good job running, I was once in your shoes and now I've lost ___ amount of weight" I would be a little offended but if it was more of a conversation and it had an underlying encouragement that would be great.
  • tabbydog
    tabbydog Posts: 4,925 Member
    I almost made a comment to a woman that I saw running who was obviously recovering from a stroke or a head injury. I didn't because I thought it would seem condesending. I feel the same way about someone who is overweight. Maybe that overweight person can run circles around me. In fact they probably can. Maybe that handicapped woman used to be a marathoner. I usually keep my comments to something like "what a nice day for a run" and leave it at that.
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,014 Member
    Hmm good question.

    I recently have been pushing myself to run and I'd have mixed feelings about someone approaching me.. Part of me would be "aww awesome, someone who knows what *I* am going through, that's great. I can do this" and part of me would probably be "omg I am the fat girl running, how embarassing" or something self-deflating like that, because I'm embarassed of how I've let myself get.

    Once I push through all that negative bs, I will remember that someone was nice enough to approach me and cheer me on and focus on that.
  • student94
    student94 Posts: 120 Member
    The words they used wouldn't upset me, but I hate to be botheted while I'm working out.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    My cousin always says "you go girl" to the bigger women she sees when we're walking (for exercise) together.
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
    I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

    The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

    Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

    This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

    But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.


    I think when a compliment/high five/nod comes from another runner -- acknowledgement that hey we're all sweatin' this together goes a long way. It helps a person feel a part of something regardless of their fitness level or weight.
  • rfarinha
    rfarinha Posts: 388 Member
    So it wasn't during a run, but... I was recently in a Zumba class, and there was a girl who was dancing up a storm, and moved really well. After class I complimented her on how good she danced. She appeared to be tickled with the compliment. I didn't refer to weight, or weightloss.
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
    I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

    The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

    Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

    This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

    But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.

    I wouldn't worry about them miscontruing your intentions, I would worry more about how your comment raises awareness that they are getting unwanted attention. If you notice them enough to want to comment, then they will feel others notice them as well. This will make them even more self-conscious. The best thing to do is treat them exactly how you treat any average joe skinny person who is running.
  • tabbydog
    tabbydog Posts: 4,925 Member
    I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

    The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

    Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

    This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

    But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.


    I think when a compliment/high five/nod comes from another runner -- acknowledgement that hey we're all sweatin' this together goes a long way. It helps a person feel a part of something regardless of their fitness level or weight.

    ^^This is what I was trying to say. I wouldn't say anything different to the overweight person than I would say to any other fellow runner, and it is usally just a nod or wave, and on a particularly nice day like today, a comment on the weather.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Would you feel weird if a random person came up and said something to you while running?
    Yes. But I'm just anti-social like that.
  • arkansascountrygirl
    arkansascountrygirl Posts: 234 Member
    I would be glad to have a stranger encourage me as an overweight person running. it's the encouragement and support that keeps me going. for example Sunday when I decided I need to eat healthier and went out to eat but order a salad while a family member was barking at me for eating it the young man who brought it out encouraged me in my quest.
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
    Great question. I've gotten smiles, thumbs up and the "nod" from others when I'm out and it always makes my day.
    I've got my own internal motivators but there is always that stupid voice of doubt talking as well. A little external validation helps me ignore that voice. I would love it if someone came up to me and said, "I just want you to know I've noticed how hard you're working. It shows, keep it up."
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Yes, it would be weird to ME, but I have a huge chip on my shoulder most times. I don't mind if my instructor in a class says something, but a random person coming up to me would make me feel singled out BECAUSE I was fat.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    I wouldn't worry about them miscontruing your intentions, I would worry more about how your comment raises awareness that they are getting unwanted attention. If you notice them enough to want to comment, then they will feel others notice them as well. This will make them even more self-conscious. The best thing to do is treat them exactly how you treat any average joe skinny person who is running.

    I was trying to figure out how to say this and you did it for me. I don't want any pats on the back for running because I am fat. If you approached only fat ol' me on my treadmill or the trail to say anything, I'd hear it as "Bless your fat little heart for trying to run like the skinny people!" But I am a pessimist like that.
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