I have an overweight little girl

Instead of quoting numbers at her and making her obsess over food, why not encourage her to be more active? Take her on hikes, sign her up for field hockey, just get her moving. Changing the household eating to a more healthy and nutritious standard will be effective for the entire household. You can help her to learn about good foods and bad foods, but I would never ever tell a prepubescent girl to watch her calories. That is not something she needs to stress over.

Yes, yes, yes. Please don't have her watching her caloric intake and tracking everything at 11 years old. I think it's great to make her aware of healthy eating habits and encourage her to get active. It will help her just seeing you as an example of healthy living.

I think that it's too much pressure to put on a kid to count calories. As a parent, I would suggest emphasising the health aspect instead of weight. Have healthy food available and watch portion sizes. Exercise is important as well. Go for walks, ride bikes, make it fun. My son was overweight at that age. Now, 3 years later, after having a growth spurt and getting more active, he is at a normal ratio, My daughter is 11 and is having the same weight issues. She started playing basketball and now that the weather is starting to get nicer, I plan on doing more outdoor activities together. I'm hoping she'll even out, but I don't want her to obsess about her weight. Good luck.

If you are watching what you eat and she is eating with you and eating what you eat then by default she will be watching what she eats without really knowing it.

I have an 11 year old daughter, too. I encourage healthy choices and exercise....we go to the gym together lately. Also, I keep her involved in sports and activities. However, no matter what, I would never put her on a calorie restrictive diet. Just encourage her to move.

I wrote a post about this with my son who is also 11 years old. We haven't put him on a diet but we have changed his and our eating habits. One thing was for breakfast we tell him to pour less cereal and offer an yogurt and or a banana. With dinner we try really hard to include a veggie and sometimes give him less of a meat so when he asks for seconds it's not quite as damaging.
I got us a little basket and we keep fruit in it to help ensure more of our snacking is fruits and I take him to the Y once a week for a class his age and a couple times a week gets a walk in.
He hasn't been weighed but we feel like we have some control over his eating now.

Both of my kids were heavier at that age, then a few years later shot up and lost it all.

Don't make an issue of it, lead by example and do things with her that keep her moving...walking, bike riding, roller blading, etc. Buy healthier foods and don't keep too much junk food in the house.

My girl is 11 and has added a little too much weight the past couple of years. I myself have only started eating healthy the last few months and my wife, soon to be ex, has let her self gain alot also. The wifes weight was not a factor in our decision but maybe a result. I've never put pressure on either about weight. I heard my girl talking about loosing weight to the wife but the wife grew up skinny and everyone always brought that too her attention. The wife was telling not to worry about it but she she seriously needs to loose some pounds and become more active. My question is how valid would the numbers be for an 11 girl from mfp? I want to help her loose weight without pressuring her too much since she is very headstrong (stubborn). If I can show her numbers to keep up with I think she would eventually start trying to stay within the limits. Any advice would be appreciated.

I really think that you should discuss this with your child's pediatrician. Children shouldn't calorie restrict, but perhaps you can discuss what the appropriate calorie level for a child this age should be. Then it's it up to you and your wife/ex to provide food, and an environment that will provide healthy choices, and examples. Don't underestimate the effect that your strained marriage has had on your child--perhaps consider having your daughter work with a therapist to get through this tough time may be helpful. If you suspect your child has been eating to deal with stress, this is particularly important.

A child this age is at a vulnerable stage, I learned my eating habits from my mother and sister, who both had weight problems. Although I was normal weight until I was 19, their dieting habits were horrible and that unfortunately was what I learned. Helping her learn proper nutrition now, coupled with proper activity levels will help.

Best of luck, my heart goes out to her.

I think the feedback here is unanimous. DO NOT put her on a diet or start her counting calories. An 11 year old girl does not need to begin obsessing over calories. And you harping on her to lose weight is likely to have the opposite effect. I would totally encourage her to be more active - go for hikes, etc. And encourage healthy choices, and limit available junk food - make the healthy choices available for her and appealing.

agree with posts about not having her count calories.
Teach her what good food is, and what isn't. The general idea is what matters, not calories.

Not even adults should be counting calories.

Instead of quoting numbers at her and making her obsess over food, why not encourage her to be more active? Take her on hikes, sign her up for field hockey, just get her moving. Changing the household eating to a more healthy and nutritious standard will be effective for the entire household. You can help her to learn about good foods and bad foods, but I would never ever tell a prepubescent girl to watch her calories. That is not something she needs to stress over.

Yes, yes, yes. Please don't have her watching her caloric intake and tracking everything at 11 years old. I think it's great to make her aware of healthy eating habits and encourage her to get active. It will help her just seeing you as an example of healthy living.

Also, buy a wii! Fun and active

I echo what some of the above posters have said about helping her become more active. Do things together (hiking, bike rides, playing basketball) to make working out more fun rather than making her feel like she's doing something wrong (or setting her up to think she's fat).

I'm not sure if she spends most of her time with you or mom, but I think the first thing to do rather than start counting calories would be to spend some time being physically active with your daughter. Make sure that whenever you can, the two of you go biking, walking, skating, hiking, whatever it takes to get her active. This age is so tricky because sometimes they'll grow over the next couple of years and the problem will at least partially resolve itself. I would think right now, simply concentrate on being a good example of physical activity and healthful eating and encourage her to be as active as possible. What you don't want to do is start pointing out that she needs to lose weight or count calories, even if she thinks that herself. It's just so easy to feed into the already shaky self-image of an adolescent. Instead, do it by example -- instead of telling her "Honey you really shouldn't have another sandwich" you can just use portion control yourself to show her what a proper plate looks like. If she should ask you about diet or portions, you can always say "Well this is what works for me" and that takes the pressure off of her. Hope I'm making sense.

^^^

This is great advice. I was overweight at 11 years old too. However my parents pointed out to me that I was fat all the time that it just upset me and and I ate emotionally. Do things with her that will keep her active, try to stay away from taking her out to eat. Cook healthy meals at your home together. So she can also learn to make healthy meals when she is not staying with you.

I haven't read ANY of the replies, so I apologize if I am repeating something that's been said.

I started my obsessive dieting at around age 11, when I had put on some weight. If I had just waited a bit, I would have realized that a growth spurt was just around the corner and I was going to quickly gain about 5 inches of height and lose my baby fat before I was 12 and a half.

Please just let her be. She's a kid, and at that age, she's still growing.

My daughter started emotionally eating in the last two years, it was controllable to a point as she was younger, meaning she would eat well with me and then she would balloon with her father, only to come home and eat well with me and lose most of it through regular activity.

however she's now diagnosed with extreme stress and anxiety and with it came a whole host of eating issues as i helplessly watched her turn to food as an emotional tool of coping.

we've made changes, i work at home now, so that she's not in the house without me (the controller) and an unrestricted pantry. (her step father wouldn't really watch the kids and in fact would encourage them to sit in front of the tv and eat rather than play so he could get "work" done. (meaning being active and social on facebook until I came home from work).

as stated in another post, i'm leaving that relationship as it is too unhealthy for her (and me) but in the meantime her pediatrician recommended that I put her in a personal wellness group for kids. It's a group for kids that is designed to help them be healthy, happy, playful and that teaches them activity and eating habits. it is NOT a diet. the idea of the group is that she follows the canada food guide for her AGE (coupled with height and body size).

the idea is that if she follows the food guide which is a healthy full sized child daily portion, she will no longer continue to gain weight but will grow into her current weight. it's working, she still has bad days, she still has anxiety and emotional eating, but she sees a therapist for that and is learning to listen to herself and her body about when she WANTS something for her tummy and when she wants something for her sadness/stress/anxiety/fear/etc....

it's not perfect, but she's more active and quite frankly, the food guide gives her a lot of options, and there are days when she struggles to eat everything, but has learned that those days come, and then the days come when she just blows it out the water and eats more than she's allowed, and that is OK, it's balancing out.

but to ALWAYS eat over the allowed guide, would be eating enough food for a teenager, every day, which she is not.

so she has her wheel counter, and she has the information of what is healthy and what is not....and we talk about it, every morning, it starts with breakfast and we slowly work through her day, planning her lunch to go with her to school and then seeing what's leftover for afterschool snack, supper and bedtime snack.

but SHE'S in control. And when she says, mom, I'd really like to have Chinese tonight, or I'd really like to have a treat tonight, we usually find a way to work it in, because as i keep telling her, a healthy diet has room for those days when you just do that, as long as it's not every day.

So long story short, don't put her on a diet, don't make her count calories, find out what the food guide recommends for your child to be eating right now and put her on that, let her have a full portion, let her have all she's entitled to have, and other than the occasional treat day, nor more than the guide....

And she will grow into her weight, she will lean out and she will blossom.

L

I was chunky as a child. Here is what my mom did.

1. Stop fast food
2. Get lean meats more often
3. More veggies
4. Get rid of chips, soda and other unhealthy snacks from the house
5. Get your child outside more often.
6. Restrict video games/tv/movies/technology to raining days or only an hour a day (goes with outside/active theme).
7. One caveat to technology. If they love video games, get them xbox kinect or wii and only get them games where they move a lot. I had a friend lose 50 lbs doing dance dance revolution. He played it for 2-3 hours a day.

But never restrict calories. Children need it to grow.


In one year, I grew 4", lost all the fat and became skinny.