Is anyone scared to lose weight?

I think it's a very important question, and one I Identify strongly with. The majority of people don't put on large amounts of weight for no reason. Sometimes it's medical, sometimes (I'd guess very frequently)it's emotional. For me, fear of success and the self-doubt that goes along with that has two facets - one personal, one professional. As a lifelong singleton, if I can blame that status on my weight, then I don't have to accept that the problem is my personality and who I am rather than my visual appearance. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, and mostly kept it off until I met a guy I really, REALLY liked, at which point I started eating everything in sight and eventually ballooned to my highest-ever adult weight... It's as if by staying fat, or at least bigger-than-average, I can ensure (in my own mind) that no-one will want me, so there's no fear of rejection of me, rather than of my body.

Professionally, my weight can be a scapegoat too - I didn't get that role because such and such a director/conductor/producer didn't like the way I look, rather than because they didn't like the way I sing/act or because I'm not good enough to make it. This is less of an issue, really, as I do have a fair amount of self-belief, professionally, but I have used my weight as a perceived reason for professional failure as well, on occasion.

I don't know what the solution is, but I am trying really hard to stay on track this time. It's weird though to know that you realy want to meet a potential SO, and yet his appearance is likely to pose a risk to continued health!

Great topic.

I was talking to an acquaintance who recently lost a lot of weight for health reasons and so she could donate a kidney. Another (very thin) woman congratulated her on the weight loss and commented how great and young she looked.

A few days later, the first friend said to me that she gets so hurt by the people who just dwell on how she LOOKS so good now, because she really did this for health reasons. Without thinking, I blurted out that I didn't even notice that that comment might be hurtful because I'm so used to assuming that people don't see me as a "real" person but just as a fat person. And I realized that maybe I AM scared of being anything other than the funny, fun, fat friend. It made me wonder if that's why I just can't seem to master this one aspect of my life--maybe I sort of don't want to.

I'm a bit scared as well, but it seems like for different reasons. I want to look good, but I don't enjoy being "checked out". I'm also scared of gaining it back after all my hard work.

I am. My husband and I have been together for 18 years. He LOVES big girls. So I am scared that if I lose weight he may leave me for a bigger women. I know in my heart that he loves me for me but it is still in the back of my mind. Or that he will cheat on me with a big girl. But I have to do this for my kids and myself. If he does then he never loved me to begin with.

I am terrified of losing weight and the social ramifications of it. It's not stopping me from doing this because I NEED to be healthy for my daughter and give her 100% of me as well as the best role model she can have. I'm also doing it for me, because i need to feel better about myself and eradicate the chances of having down the road weight related health issues.

But does that make me less scared of it? Hell no.

I was quite thin prior to age 17 and then something happened in my life that was unexpected, traumatic and horrifying. I've been big ever since then. I didn't want to be noticed, i didn't want to be big.

But even back then after the incident, i ballooned up to a size 16 and found that that size let me have curves and be the pretty "bigger" girl and still do my dance, my walleyball, my baseball and have friends without feeling threatened.

But then I got into college and I unconsciously felt that a size 18-20 was "safer" and then i had my daughter and things really started to spiral out of control.....

So here I am in my late 30's and getting control over my life again and pretty terrified about it. But it's happening and i'm strong enough to handle it.

It is always easier to stay the same than to change. It's really really hard to change and the question in the back of your mind is always there -- "what will it be like?", or "what if I fail?", or "what if I don't like it", etc. etc.

This is the same premise as why people stay in an abusive relationship, miserable job, place that hate to live, etc. etc. -- the unpleasantness is at least known, and that is less frightening than the unknown. Also, the unpleasantness of any situation can easily be rationalized as "not that bad".

Excellent question. so why might I be afraid to lose weight? Hmmm. Last time I lost weight, people were telling me good I looked. Okay, that's nice. So then the pressure was on to maintain the status quo because now it was out there. So how was I going to handle stress if I couldn't put food in my mouth for comfort? So what if I slipped once in a while? the results were going to be visible if I gained weight. I really had to get honest with myself about my relationship with food and where it fit in with my life. It had been a "friend" for a long, long time. Even if I didn't like the outcome, I could certainly count on it for a quick "fix". Logging into MFP did a lot for me. There was no pressure, no judgement, no tricks, no quick fixes. Just ordinary people trying to take care of themselves, trying to be healthy and trying to support one another. Sounds good to me.:happy:

i used to be because of saggy skin. While I have some from a previous 150 lb loss it is what it is. I decided to do what to some seems impossible and bulk and lose weight at the same time. No easy task. I no longer care. I am trusting for God to get me through it all and at least I will be able to move. I am 43 I am not doing this to be sexy I have no interest in wearing a bikini. My only interests with it are to try to repair this temple God gave me and to be around for my family to be a loud obnoxious grandmother, and drive all my kids starj raving mad for the rest of their lives.

For me, I feel safer when I'm big. I waffle between a size 12-14 (currently 201 lbs), but I know that my healthy weight/size (factoring in muscle, because I have a fairly muscular build under my insulation) is a 8-9. I lost weight once before, and got down to 165, and felt really healthy. However, I felt really uncomfortable with the attention from men. I'm uncomfortable around guys at the nest of times, and getting physical attention from them made me feel really, really unsafe, and quite scared me. Over the span of a few months, I put the weight back on, and felt much, much "safer". Past experiences have left me really petrified of getting involved with another guy, and I know that I use my weight as a defence against that kind of attention, because I really can't imagine myself being able to "go there" as it were.

It's been a long time since I've had my weight off too! and yes I'm scared . People are starting to notice and yes comment.
And instead of feeling good about the comment, compliments I'm worried about the maintenance, Imagine I'm only half way there and I'm already worried about gainning it back.
Why is it everyone else's business when you gain or lose a few pounds. My family and friends are sincere naturally, but it's the others. Like my co workers. You know how people always feel like they can touch a pregnant womans belly?
I hate the remarks it just makes me more uncomfortable.
I also have felt safer a little heavier. the bigger funnier girl friend. No one minds their husbands talking to you when you're the big girl friend, No not so mch. I just wish you could be normal sized and blend:)