I got the 'are you pregnant' question

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wedjul05
wedjul05 Posts: 472
in Motivation and Support
Got it this morning from a kinda work colleague. Head wrecking.

I'm having alot of stomach issues lately, think I have mild IBS and I've been under alot of stress lately and this is resulting in bowel issues. Hence my tummy is sore/crampy/bloated alot of the time. been going on for about 4 weeks now. I've booked in for acupuncture to see if this can help it.

So someone asked me this morning am I pg again?!!!!!!!! Eh no PFO. I explained as calmly as I could what the issue was.

My god, you don't ask a woman is she pg unless you know for a fact that she is. Hello???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Replies

  • babyworms
    babyworms Posts: 1,304 Member
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    No joke!!

    I'm a nurse, and one of the other nurses i work with just had a kidney transplant, so she's a bit puffy from all the steroids she has to take... One of the DOCTORS asked her if she was pg the other day!!

    RUDE!!
  • psychopiglet
    psychopiglet Posts: 130 Member
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    It's just a question. Why freak out?
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
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    I would never ask anyone if they were pregnant! It's way too easy to put your foot in it.
  • tuppance
    tuppance Posts: 132 Member
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    No, never ask that question

    I was asked if I was pregnant a few weeks after my baby was born :( felt so fat
  • Queen_M
    Queen_M Posts: 70
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    It's just a question. Why freak out?

    Because it's rude and a question that basically says "you're fat" without actually saying it. I'd be offended too.
  • mimi10453
    mimi10453 Posts: 89 Member
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    It's tacky! Never ask a woman if she's pregnant!
  • jjaj10
    jjaj10 Posts: 1
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    Have you tried probiotics? I've heard they work really well for IBS.
  • netchik
    netchik Posts: 587 Member
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    And also - you don't need to be fat to have the bloating associated with IBS. It's all about shape.
  • Gail3260
    Gail3260 Posts: 354 Member
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    It's just a question. Why freak out?

    Because it is a very personal question.......I have a friend who is desperate to get pregnant but can't and another who has suffered multiple miscarriages!
  • helbaby7
    helbaby7 Posts: 5
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    ive been asked the same question a few times lately....and im offended...i hate it.

    But thats the reason i want to loose weight and tone up so i can feel better about myself
  • Trinketona
    Trinketona Posts: 190
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    Some may get offended especially someone trying to lose weight. If someone thinks they are losing weight and looking better than someone ask that question it would probably make that person feel like they are NOT looking any better after all the hard work. Do you get it? or not?
  • wedjul05
    wedjul05 Posts: 472
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    Eh I'm not fat at all thank you very much!!! I'm 5ft 8 and quite slim really. I just have a bloated belly for the past few weeks due to bowel/stomach issues. Jeez.......

    It's rude to ask a woman if she is pg or not, it implies she has a belly one way or another an believe me, you don't want to point out to a woman she may have a belly going on. It's just plain rude IMO. Even if you are pg up to about 20 weeks, you don't have a bump, well not generally on your first. You are just going thru the 'fat' phase of your pg.

    Look, I'm not great with words...it's just rude to say it to a woman, ok?
  • Queen_M
    Queen_M Posts: 70
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    It's not a case of being easily offended, but the person making the comments doesn't necessarily know what is going on with the person in question. They don't know if they're struggling with weight issues or trying to get pregnant or what. It's just insensitive and unnecessary. Are you telling me that if someone pointed out the size of your belly, you wouldn't be in the slightest bit offended?
  • RobinJaggard
    RobinJaggard Posts: 3
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    have you tried a sauna wedjul05 i have found that it is quite good for bloating also peppermint tea i have found when i have had issues in the past these have helped peppermint is proven to help with digestion and bloating tastes nice too im sure youve probably heard these before also im doing a detox at the moment which has been amazing also aloe juice can help good luck hope you get things under control soon and yes i think asking a women if she is pregnant isnt the smartest thing to do if your not 100% sure she is but i dont think people do it to be hurtful maybe your glowing all the best :)
  • Queen_M
    Queen_M Posts: 70
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    thanks for all the advise re my tummy. It's not so bad today. Have a friend who suffers with IBS who can advise me also and I'll wait and see what acu can do for me.

    My aunt suffers with ibs and swears by chamomile tea, so you could try that :).
  • wedjul05
    wedjul05 Posts: 472
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    Thanks queen_M. I like herbal teas alot so don't mind trying new one's. Nettle tea is good also.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    Oh grasshopper, you're very clever and come from the "anything goes" school of (bad) manners. It's rude to ask about someone's appearance that way. If someone has another physical attribute and you want to know more about it, do you just ask? Usually not. And, it's not about "wasting energy" when people notice "it" whatever it is. It's about minding your own business and letting other people go through the day without hearing someone's thoughtless comments.

    My husband has a rule: don't ask if a woman's pregnant unless you see the baby's head crowning.
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
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    people do it, they don't mean anything by it. It happened to me going through customs in Dubai though (not with myhusband) so although I was horrified I think it was a bit more of a serious question!
    anyways, to me its a wake up call. sorry no amount of bloating can cause you to look pregnant. Be positive - your' on this site, your on it, you'll get there!!!!
  • wedjul05
    wedjul05 Posts: 472
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    people do it, they don't mean anything by it. It happened to me going through customs in Dubai though (not with myhusband) so although I was horrified I think it was a bit more of a serious question!
    anyways, to me its a wake up call. sorry no amount of bloating can cause you to look pregnant. Be positive - your' on this site, your on it, you'll get there!!!!

    Ah I know this particular lady didn't mean anything by it, I get on fine with her. I know most people wouldn't ask the question but we all make mistakes. Just came at a bad time for me, that's all.
  • MrsMuffinRun
    MrsMuffinRun Posts: 93
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    I have had this from time to time. I always have a bit of a belly going on, even when I'm slim. It is mortifying though. It's not just about size, you might be someone wanting to be pregnant, someone who has lost a baby, someone who is pregnant and not announced it yet - there's a million different reasons not to ask!

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