Overweight kids...abuse???

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  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    I'd call it more neglect as well. Sometimes not deliberate. I was an overweight child (180lbs by age 13 but always bigger then I should have been from the age of 9 and up!). I was overweight because I ate to ease stress... and there were no adults to monitor what I was eating because my parents were divorced and my mother worked pretty much all the time.

    Yeah... maybe she could have monitored what foods were in the house and what foods I had access to but she had a lot more to worry about and had never learned things like proper nutrition herself!

    So I don't think my mother abused me. Neglected? A little but in the circumstances it's perfectly understandable.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    Perhaps you should rephrase to say "morbidly obese children." My sister was an overweight child, she just didn't lose the baby fat for a long time. She played outside, rode her bike, ate the exact same way I did (we didn't have a lot of junk in our house) and only got fast food on occasion as a treat, just like me. I happened to be a scrawny lil kid until puberty and she was a lil chubby until puberty. We were kind of opposites, she got tall and thinned out, I stayed short and got curvy. Had nothing to do with poor eating habits or not getting enough exercise, it's just the way she was as a child.
  • Libby81
    Libby81 Posts: 734 Member
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    I think its more a sign of miseducation or lack of on part of both the parents and the children if they are old enough to be making their own choices. If the parents have a poor understanding or negative relationship with food/exercise, that is obviously going to have a knock on effect on the child. Situtations are often more complex than they appear from the outside.
  • G30Grrl
    G30Grrl Posts: 377 Member
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    I'm training my son to be a heavyweight division champion powerlifter

    And I'm training my daughter to out-lift your son.

    I love this place.
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Ummm. ok, I guess I should be in jail then for abuse? Thats a pretty generalized and sweeping accusation to all parents with an overweight child without taking any other factors into consideration. I have a very thin- rail thin duaghter who eats like crazy and cannot gain weight she's 13 and weighs 75 lbs, and is perfect for her tiny bone frame. On the opposite side I have a very BIG 15 yr old son who is large boned 5'11 and 245 lbs. Hmmm? Do I treat them any different? Do I feed him crap food and not my daughter? Nope. The difference is that he has metabolic issues. He has hashimotos thyroid disease. Hence slow metabolism- I know, I struggle with it as well. He has been to endocrinologists, dieticians, since the age of 11. I am very conscious of what he puts in his body. We eat healthy. We go on walks together. His cholestoerol is low, his blood pressure is low, he is healthy even though his weight is not. He is under a Dr.s care. That's abusive right? I don't care about my kid? Really?

    To make unkind generalizations make me soooo angry! That is unfair. You have no idea what it is like- obviously to have children on opposite spectrums. It would be abusive on my part to say, no son you can't have that birthday cake but your sister can cuz she's skinny! Here eat a birthday orange instead. That's cruel. Moderation is key, not denial and obession. So don't go around assuming all of the heavy kids in the world are sat in front of TV's with a bag of chips and some candy bars.

    ok, some children are over weight by genetics but what I think the OP is saying... if your child is over weight it might not be the best idea to eat out at A&W every night. Child abuse? No.. bad parenting? absolutely.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
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    my brother has always been fit and muscular, even when we were little kids. i was always chubby. the thing is, my brother didnt eat with wild abandoned, i did. my brother would make his Halloween candy last for 3 months, i would eat it in two days. my brother was always active, skate boarding and bike riding, i was always at home, watching tv. my brother made sure he fed his body with good foods, no matter what my parents fed him. i always ate too much, and then on top of that, snuck food after dinner and as snacks.

    my parents were not neglectful, they werent abusive. they did fail in teaching us how to eat good foods, and how much an actual portion is, but they did what their parents did, only a little better. and on this point, my mom always tried to get us to eat vegies, i hated them since i was a toddler, my brother would always eat his. they did the best they could.

    there was some laziness, when my mom was stressed or had too much to do, she would feed us jack in the box, and that started when i was 2 years old. but it was my make up, my personality that caused me to gain so much weight.

    my brother and i were raised in the same household, but i ended up fat and he ended up with muscles and a lean body mass. i dont think that was entirely my parents fault.
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    I really think the obesity epidemic is a national problem, and I really don't think we can count on each individual to solve the problem themselves. I think a top-down approach is the only way it will ever end. Researchers are trying to solve the problem with science. Whether its truly behavioral or physiological has yet to be definitively proven.

    Obviously all the typical recommendations don't work in the long run, and there is more to it than people think.

    So no in the average case its not abuse.
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
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    Look at the price of food, some faimilies simply can't afford to eat the best. Plus with all the fake information out there, it's not always the easiest for anyone to know nutrition. I think we should worry about the starving kids before the ones that are plump.
  • Laoch_Cailin
    Laoch_Cailin Posts: 414 Member
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    I think I agree with the point of view that its lack of education on the parents side.

    Sad story....I was at a childs cardio doc appointment (my daughter was born with heart problems), I was chatting to a lady who was morbidly obese, she said her daughter had heart problems from just recently and she didn't know why, I could have cried, her daughter of about 4 yrs of age was sitting beside her, I'd say she may have weighed close to 10st, she was eating a double sized mars and drinking a large bottle of coke. The mother really could not see the problem.

    I really believe kids should be taught in primery school what healthy eating is and how to look after yourself
  • marynmarty
    marynmarty Posts: 89 Member
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    I don't know if I would call it abuse BUT I feel parent's aren't teaching their kids good eating habits. I also feel bad when I see young children who are overweight and what they will be going through as they get older. I'm a parent of 2 little girls and I have to admit I'm not always good either. I have a 4 year old daughter though who is the other way and doesn't really like to eat. She's under weight and we get talked to every time we go to the doctors. I'm trying to get her to eat healthier so maybe she would eat more. On the other side, I don't believe in letting a child eat whenever they want. There has to be structured times. I try to give her the three basic meals with 1 snack in between. If they grow up to where they watch their parents eat all the time or always each junk food (chips, candy, pop, etc) then they don't really have a chance. I use to be a huge snacker......now I'm not so much into snacking and every time I want to, I try to eat something good so my daughters don't look to me to get their habits and grow up overweight. In the long run it's helping our whole family :-)
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,277 Member
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    My son is considered underweight, I mean really underweight. He has had so many tests and he is healthy. He has sensory issues which makes him really picky. He eats the same foods everyday. Should I be put in jail for him being extremely underweight? Is it abuse?
  • sullyboo
    sullyboo Posts: 256 Member
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    I think a lot of people have no idea about good nutrition. Neglect?? maybe particularly if fast food is a daily feature in their diet. But of course we are all so scared of letting our kids out to play for fear of what may happen to them, so kids are possibly less active nowadays. Which is a poor reflection on society as a whole.
  • thinmintme
    thinmintme Posts: 63 Member
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    to go as far as to call it child abuse is ridiculous.
    That being said....
    I don't encourage the parents that thrust junk food in their kids faces 24/7. But, take into consideration, that mother or father may not have exemplary eating habits, either. (Heck, we know they don't)
    But I wouldn't DARE to get into someone else's business about THEIR lifestyle, THEIR children and THEIR purchases at a local grocery store.
    Why not try leading by example?

    My sisters are all overweight. But we don't let them eat junk food. We encourage healthy habits, exercise, water at every meal, during the day, limited amounts of milk (2% is our go to dairy beverage but three glasses a day will add up FAST). We don't allow them to pig out on sweets and such and when we go out to eat, we rarely ever let appetizers and desserts come to the table.
    If we eat fast food (heaven forbid, I hate that stuff) we do so in moderation. No doubles, no triples, not x large, etc. We don't allow them to have soda unless we're at a sit down restaurant which isn't often. At home, no soda. Just water, fruit juice, milk. They've become avid water drinkers over the years, though =)
    And I dare someone to have the nerve to say a darn thing about my family, about the way we eat, the way we live. I dare someone to assume things about us when they really don't know.
    It's time everyone just started minding their own friggin business.

    /rant
  • Libby81
    Libby81 Posts: 734 Member
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    I really believe kids should be taught in primery school what healthy eating is and how to look after yourself

    I agree, If we can work on educating the children now and families as a whole, maybe a change can be made in the next generation of children.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    Look at the price of food, some faimilies simply can't afford to eat the best. Plus with all the fake information out there, it's not always the easiest for anyone to know nutrition. I think we should worry about the starving kids before the ones that are plump.

    You don't have to eat the "best" to eat healthy... and eating healthy is not as expensive as people think.... I personally (and I admit this has a lot to do with my regional area) can buy WAY more fresh produce and meats (sometime organic even) for much cheaper than what processed foods cost. And the fresh stuff lasts longer in our house because we don't need to eat the whole thing before we become full.
  • thinmintme
    thinmintme Posts: 63 Member
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    Ummm. ok, I guess I should be in jail then for abuse? Thats a pretty generalized and sweeping accusation to all parents with an overweight child without taking any other factors into consideration. I have a very thin- rail thin duaghter who eats like crazy and cannot gain weight she's 13 and weighs 75 lbs, and is perfect for her tiny bone frame. On the opposite side I have a very BIG 15 yr old son who is large boned 5'11 and 245 lbs. Hmmm? Do I treat them any different? Do I feed him crap food and not my daughter? Nope. The difference is that he has metabolic issues. He has hashimotos thyroid disease. Hence slow metabolism- I know, I struggle with it as well. He has been to endocrinologists, dieticians, since the age of 11. I am very conscious of what he puts in his body. We eat healthy. We go on walks together. His cholestoerol is low, his blood pressure is low, he is healthy even though his weight is not. He is under a Dr.s care. That's abusive right? I don't care about my kid? Really?

    To make unkind generalizations make me soooo angry! That is unfair. You have no idea what it is like- obviously to have children on opposite spectrums. It would be abusive on my part to say, no son you can't have that birthday cake but your sister can cuz she's skinny! Here eat a birthday orange instead. That's cruel. Moderation is key, not denial and obession. So don't go around assuming all of the heavy kids in the world are sat in front of TV's with a bag of chips and some candy bars.

    THIS! Thank you. Agreed.
  • Need2bfit918
    Need2bfit918 Posts: 133 Member
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    It's usually more to do with what kids are permitted to snack on all day and not if they eat out at McDonald's from time to time
  • Tashry
    Tashry Posts: 151 Member
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    I'm not going to get too into this argument with my own opinions...but there have been cases recently in which the courts have had children removed from their parents and placed into foster care for the simple fact that these children were extremely obese due to poor meal planning and education from the parents. So I would say that in terms of abuse and neglect...the courts certainly are leaning in that direction in SOME cases.

    Clearly there are children who have medical issues or other conditions leading to their obesity. This post is certainly not targetted at them or their parents, as far as I can tell.

    I have two sons and if anything they make me healthier because I want what is best for them. And teaching lessons about healthy eating and being responsible is so important. If my 5 year old can choose Subway over McDonalds, or an apple over a chocolate bar then there is no reason why other children can't learn to make the same decisions. And yes, he still enjoys treats and junk like every child should.

    So, I lied, apparently I am going to voice my opinion lol. But that's where I stand.
  • DrthFlanders
    DrthFlanders Posts: 6
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    It is the parent's right and responsibility to raise and nurture their children to the best of their ability according to the dictates of their own conscience. However unfortunate that may be, at times. It will be a sad day when we demand government intervention into the raising of "other peoples" children. While we on this thread can make reasonable judgements about how someone's parental fitness is directly related to their child's physical fitness, I have NO confidence that beaurocrats will make a system that protects a parent's basic rights.

    That being said, I know children have rights and that some children need to have those rights defended for them, but leave this one alone. I'm fine with incorporating nutrition classes into kindergarten curiculum or provide nutritional classes through community health departments.

    Whether parents are punished by a judicial system, their medical bills, or the guilt imposed by their dying children asking, "Why?" - they will be punished for any neglect or abuse. On the other hand, if they, like my parents, did everything they could to raise healthy children, yet their son still amassed the title 'Obese' by the age of 12. They can still hold their heads high that they did their best; instead of living in fear that some government agent will steal their child away from them.
  • missigus
    missigus Posts: 207 Member
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    I'm not going to get too into this argument with my own opinions...but there have been cases recently in which the courts have had children removed from their parents and placed into foster care for the simple fact that these children were extremely obese due to poor meal planning and education from the parents. So I would say that in terms of abuse and neglect...the courts certainly are leaning in that direction in SOME cases.


    Ok, Yes and this is what does scare the tar out of me. Where then is the line drawn? Who decides is abuse and neglect? Who feels qualified to report what they think is going on? How many might be wrongly accused? Also, Why take these kids from their parents and cause a whole other level of pain and suffering? Kids still love their parents dispite their faults. Is the foster care system gonna help? Why don't the courts order them to visit with a nutritionist and help these families instead of punishing? And yes some people are inherently lazy dispite education-is that criminal? I think there is a lot to be learned yet about the disease of obesity, and the brain, and what drives that compulsion to begin with. It's not always the obvious.

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