Can't we all just get along?

fieldsy4life
fieldsy4life Posts: 155
edited November 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
So, I peruse the MFP forums when I'm looking to kill some time, and love being able to chime in and offer advice. However, I'm noticing that there are many "my diet is better than yours" posts coming up. What's the deal? I think we all joined this site with the goal of tracking our macronutrient intake for one reason or another. Some use it to lose 100+ pounds and change their lives. Other's (like me), might be looking to lose 5-10 pounds to squeeze out every last bit of definition before the summer. I think the social component is an added bonus.

With all that said, I think we should be more supportive of one another regardless of what method of dieting we chose to subscribe to. A diet is a personal choice - and you have to pick one that fits your lifestyle. If you can't give up eating spaghetti with cake batter ice cream and maple syrup on top, then don't go low carb. If you're Paleo, don't hate on the vegans. However, if you're one of the people who constantly complains about not losing weight, perhaps it's time to give another member the benefit of the doubt and try something new.

I also don't think anyone should go out of their way to attempt to dissuade other's from trying a new diet. What works for you may not work for somebody else.

In any event, I am a Paleo eater who monitors his carb intake (I do 2 month cycles of Ketosis and love the fat-burning and muscle-sparing effects). It works for me, but I'll never try to force Paleo propaganda down somebody else's throat unless they reach out to me and ask about it.

Just my $.02. Good luck to everyone with their fitness goals, and let's try to be more supportive.

Cheers.
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Replies

  • hollyberry2012
    hollyberry2012 Posts: 239 Member
    well said,

    and I'm glad you had to type all that and not me..ha!

    I knew I picked a good friend ...OK... give God the glory for that :)

    But I did punch the keyboard!

    :tongue:
  • Thanks Holly :)
  • JoshuaL86
    JoshuaL86 Posts: 403 Member
    So, I peruse the MFP forums when I'm looking to kill some time, and love being able to chime in and offer advice. However, I'm noticing that there are many "my diet is better than yours" posts coming up. What's the deal? I think we all joined this site with the goal of tracking our macronutrient intake for one reason or another. Some use it to lose 100+ pounds and change their lives. Other's (like me), might be looking to lose 5-10 pounds to squeeze out every last bit of definition before the summer. I think the social component is an added bonus.

    With all that said, I think we should be more supportive of one another regardless of what method of dieting we chose to subscribe to. A diet is a personal choice - and you have to pick one that fits your lifestyle. If you can't give up eating spaghetti with cake batter ice cream and maple syrup on top, then don't go low carb. If you're Paleo, don't hate on the vegans. However, if you're one of the people who constantly complains about not losing weight, perhaps it's time to give another member the benefit of the doubt and try something new.

    I also don't think anyone should go out of their way to attempt to dissuade other's from trying a new diet. What works for you may not work for somebody else.

    In any event, I am a Paleo eater who monitors his carb intake (I do 2 month cycles of Ketosis and love the fat-burning and muscle-sparing effects). It works for me, but I'll never try to force Paleo propaganda down somebody else's throat unless they reach out to me and ask about it.

    Just my $.02. Good luck to everyone with their fitness goals, and let's try to be more supportive.

    Cheers.

    This is great! Thanks for posting!
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
    People are not homogeneous, physically, culturally, spiritually, nor in ideas. They never should be. Therefore you will always find disagreement, online or in the real world. By the time you are an adult I would expect most people to realize this and react accordingly.

    Instead we get an incessant stream of "why can't we all get along" threads. Clearly I set the bar too high.
  • Navallez
    Navallez Posts: 433 Member
    Agree 100%...:wink:
  • Tdk4685
    Tdk4685 Posts: 293 Member
    *Like*
  • fuschiadiamond
    fuschiadiamond Posts: 16 Member
    About time someone speaking up about this. So immature.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I have only noticed people being critical when it appears that others are trying to lose weight in an unhealthy and unsustainable way. Maybe I don't pay enough attention, though. That happens a lot.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    About time someone speaking up about this. So immature.

    Actually, I have seen many posts of this nature. That isn't a criticism, though. Some things bear repeating.
  • Gemz2589
    Gemz2589 Posts: 5 Member
    i like you.

    Agree 100%
  • Isolt
    Isolt Posts: 70
    Totally agree!

    Eating healthy is not a competitive sport....or at least it shouldn't be. Different approaches will suit different people. The only safe thing to say is that when one approach stops working, it's best to try another.

    As long as what we're doing is healthy (and as my last general check-up gave me a 0.4% chance of dying of heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years, I'm pretty confident I'm healthy), then who's to say it's wrong?
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    People are not homogeneous, physically, culturally, spiritually, nor in ideas. They never should be. Therefore you will always find disagreement, online or in the real world. By the time you are an adult I would expect most people to realize this and react accordingly.

    Instead we get an incessant stream of "why can't we all get along" threads. Clearly I set the bar too high.

    ^^^^this. I have been part of many message forums in the past, and this is by far the tamest. For the most part, people are pretty cool, and honestly sometimes the forums can be funny and entertaining.
  • GuruOnAMountain
    GuruOnAMountain Posts: 489 Member
    I try to participate in these forums as much as time allows and I also try to be positive and supportive whenever possible. That being said, if someone says something that I think sounds a bit worrying or unhealthy, then I do sometimes feel the need to say something. It isn't a case of me trying to put my diet on to them because my diet could do with a LOT of improvement and it isn't me trying to be negative or grouchy.....it is genuine concern if I think someone is being unsafe with their approach to this (and let's face it, when it comes to weight loss there are a lot of people who approach it in a dangerous way). I try to say it in as nice a way as possible and to sound as least judgemental as possible but I guess some people at some points might think that I'm being 'negative'. But heck, if someone with a skinny profile pic comes on and says that have lost an massive amount of weight in a short amount of time, then I'm not going to join the ticker tape parade if I genuinely believe they are heading towards an eating disorder or damaging their body.

    I think it can be as dangerous to be over-supportive and shout YAY everytime someone posts something about their weight-loss, regardless of whether it is a healthy loss or not, just as it is dangerous to be negative.

    Support is about trying to help people with useful advice and sometimes that might not always be what someone wants to hear but heck, I'd rather someone told me a hard truth and saved me from long-term health problems if I was doing something silly with my diet than be applauded for everything I do regardless of the long-term consequences.

    So yeah, I agree that we should all be nice and supportive when we can be but it isn't always appropriate in every case to pour out platitudes without thinking about the situation and perhaps offering helpful advice (not to say that advice can't be 'wrapped' in compliments).
  • thatlook
    thatlook Posts: 58 Member
    well said that man!! lol

    so many petty squabbles on here at times!! i am willing to admit that i have pretty much no idea about any of those 'diets' you mentioned and to be perfectly frank im not sure i care to know....what i do know is i use this site to help me lose weight which funnily enough i managing to do...hmm maybe its because im now eating less and moving more??!!!! just a thought!! :laugh:

    11795304.png
  • JeNn45nFiT
    JeNn45nFiT Posts: 125 Member
    Totally Agree! :)
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQs9r3hb6ewao9QQGad4y4qL-vGpTB_1fPHKTF8TcQGHjUAAET3GUrfxkKKEw
  • People are not homogeneous, physically, culturally, spiritually, nor in ideas. They never should be. Therefore you will always find disagreement, online or in the real world. By the time you are an adult I would expect most people to realize this and react accordingly.

    Instead we get an incessant stream of "why can't we all get along" threads. Clearly I set the bar too high.

    I know I have nice skin and a pretty smile, but don't assume I'm not an adult hun ;)
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
    Excellent idea. I just wanted to lose a bit of weight and get some support when stuck or worried, and share with others doing the same thing. I've never even heard of many of the eating styles that seem to attract attract total converts. If it works for you fine, but it's weight loss, not the latest religious faith. Thanks so much for posting - I've found the site really helpful, but finding some of the confrontational posts difficult
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    Unfortunately history has proved that no, in fact we CAN'T all get along. If we could, there would be no power struggles, no wars, no violence etc.
    An internet forum is just a little microcosm of life, a cross section of humanity from all corners of the globe with a common focus, in this case, a focus on weight, fitness etc. It's only natural that there are going to be conflicts, bullies, sulking, joking, support, grumbles, hugs, tears and much, much more.
    Like you, OP, I'd much rather that everyone was nice all of the time... but I'm not holding my breath waiting for it!
  • images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQs9r3hb6ewao9QQGad4y4qL-vGpTB_1fPHKTF8TcQGHjUAAET3GUrfxkKKEw


    Ditto
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    In any event, I am a Paleo eater who monitors his carb intake (I do 2 month cycles of Ketosis and love the fat-burning and muscle-sparing effects). It works for me, but I'll never try to force Paleo propaganda down somebody else's throat unless they reach out to me and ask about it.

    Just a friendly FYI, there is no metabolic advantage to low carb or keto diets
  • aftergypsies
    aftergypsies Posts: 248 Member
    There are too many different conflicting studies about what is good and what is bad that it makes my head spin. I just don't judge anyone's methods so I can avoid the drama. I really like this post. I totally agree. =)
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
    People are not homogeneous, physically, culturally, spiritually, nor in ideas. They never should be. Therefore you will always find disagreement, online or in the real world. By the time you are an adult I would expect most people to realize this and react accordingly.

    Instead we get an incessant stream of "why can't we all get along" threads. Clearly I set the bar too high.

    I know I have nice skin and a pretty smile, but don't assume I'm not an adult hun ;)

    Calling someone "hun" is pretty passive aggressive. I'm not even going to comment on your self absorbed statement.
  • Isolt
    Isolt Posts: 70
    Just a friendly FYI, there is no metabolic advantage to low carb or keto diets


    It works for him and I'm sure that's all that concerns him.
  • Just a friendly FYI, there is no metabolic advantage to low carb or keto diets

    It works for him and I'm sure that's all that concerns him.

    ^^This
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    Just a friendly FYI, there is no metabolic advantage to low carb or keto diets


    It works for him and I'm sure that's all that concerns him.

    I'm sure it does, but no reason to make silly claims about it then
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    OP: Well said!
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
    So, I peruse the MFP forums when I'm looking to kill some time, and love being able to chime in and offer advice. However, I'm noticing that there are many "my diet is better than yours" posts coming up. What's the deal? I think we all joined this site with the goal of tracking our macronutrient intake for one reason or another. Some use it to lose 100+ pounds and change their lives. Other's (like me), might be looking to lose 5-10 pounds to squeeze out every last bit of definition before the summer. I think the social component is an added bonus.

    With all that said, I think we should be more supportive of one another regardless of what method of dieting we chose to subscribe to. A diet is a personal choice - and you have to pick one that fits your lifestyle. If you can't give up eating spaghetti with cake batter ice cream and maple syrup on top, then don't go low carb. If you're Paleo, don't hate on the vegans. However, if you're one of the people who constantly complains about not losing weight, perhaps it's time to give another member the benefit of the doubt and try something new.

    I also don't think anyone should go out of their way to attempt to dissuade other's from trying a new diet. What works for you may not work for somebody else.

    In any event, I am a Paleo eater who monitors his carb intake (I do 2 month cycles of Ketosis and love the fat-burning and muscle-sparing effects). It works for me, but I'll never try to force Paleo propaganda down somebody else's throat unless they reach out to me and ask about it.

    Just my $.02. Good luck to everyone with their fitness goals, and let's try to be more supportive.

    Cheers.

    I agree with you 100%. If someone asks, I'm more than happy to offer my advice in clear, polite verbage. Too many people, however, think that a couple months on MFP, a few pounds lost, and 3-400 posts mean they now have a license to be condescending, rude, and snarky to anyone who disagrees or has questions. Luckily, most people are NOT like that.

    So my advice to you is to block or ignore the "haters" and go right ahead being polite and civil.

    :flowerforyou:
  • katiejoycecross
    katiejoycecross Posts: 34 Member
    Seriously.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    :drinker: But my diet IS better than yours.
    ETA - OP is a cutie.
This discussion has been closed.