men and women

13

Replies

  • Angie80281
    Angie80281 Posts: 444 Member
    my head hurts

    At least yours just hurts. Mine exploded.
  • kantone999
    kantone999 Posts: 174
    Do you have other friends? If not, you need to make some. How about moms of kids your daughter's age? You automatically have at least one thing in common.

    It's NEVER a good idea to make one person your sole source of friendship, entertainment, etc. It's just too much of a burden for anyone, no matter how much they love you. Get some more people in your life and you won't be so tempted to call him all the time.

    As for trust, if he hasn't given you a reason to distrust him, you just have to keep reminding yourself that it isn't HIS behavior that's a problem. It's yours. It's not easy to trust, especially if you've been hurt or disappointed before but the quickest way to repeat the past is to keep brining it into the present.

    When you find yourself picking up the phone after one check-in, call someone else. Go for a walk. Play a game with your little one. The best way to break a habit is to replace it with another one.

    Good luck!
  • Mech9
    Mech9 Posts: 252 Member
    The replies here are intentionally cruel without any trace of genuine concern or interest in this woman's predicament. She asked for help and admitted to something, so you shame her? That kind of attitude is what leads people to give up on self-improvement. I thought this website's purpose was to provide support to people...

    Anyway, to address the OP's concerns: There is something here causing you to act this way. Insecurity? Learned behavior? Jealousy? Past emotional trauma? Genuine distrust for a guy you know is sleazy? It would be impossible for anyone else to say why without wild speculation. Only you can really figure out why after much introspection. Regardless of why it will take baby steps toward what you want to achieve. There is no "fix" and there is no "one solution". You're going to have to work for it. You'll take a step, then fail miserably, then try again, then be successful for a while, then fail even more miserably than ever before. Communicate with your partner, seek professional assistance, talk to your friends or family, pick up a new hobby. Be mindful to make yourself the woman you want to be to make you the happiest for yourself.
  • bigd65
    bigd65 Posts: 171 Member
    LadySnox did it mention anything about weight loss in that post. This is supposed to be about weight loss support not Oprah
  • greenbubblegum
    greenbubblegum Posts: 26 Member
    Are you a big fan of The Jerry Springer Show and want to be a guest on the stage? Click here or call the show at 1-800-96-JERRY
  • LesliePierceRN
    LesliePierceRN Posts: 860 Member
    My husband and I met on a fluke, dated 7 days and he proposed. I was 19, he was 30. There was NO WAY we should have had anything in common or any way we'd stay together. But we did. We'll be celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary in June. And the cornerstone of our relationship has been this: He waited until he was 30 for me. I was old enough to stick with a decision at 19. If either of us is going to go anywhere for anyone else, we're gonna do it despite (or maybe because of) all the nagging from the other one. There isn't one ounce of jealousy or mistrust between us. We stay together because we wanna stay together, but the door's open if one of us wants to leave. There is, however, a caveat. If you leave, you ain't never coming back. Wouldn't you rather him to want to come home to a loving partner, rather than dread coming home to a nagging shrew? If you don't get it together, you're gonna drive him away anyway.
  • bigd65
    bigd65 Posts: 171 Member
    2 posts up she is talking about concern for the op but goes on to ask if the guy is a sleez. 1-800-Jerry is correct
  • kantone999
    kantone999 Posts: 174
    LadySnox did it mention anything about weight loss in that post. This is supposed to be about weight loss support not Oprah

    If her insecurity causes her to overeat to make herself feel better, the connection to weight loss is obvious.
  • bigd65
    bigd65 Posts: 171 Member
    first line THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MFP
  • creative1981
    creative1981 Posts: 182 Member
    The narrator voice in my head when I read this sounded like Chip or Dale on some really good speed....

    Now THAT made my head explode.
  • cohophysh
    cohophysh Posts: 288
    Advil anyone?
    Yes please
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    my head hurts

    this. I made it through 2 lines and gave up.

    It took me 5 attempts to get through this. Our schools suck.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    first line THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MFP
    THAT'S PROBABLY WHY IT'S IN THE CHIT-CHAT FORUM
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    While everyone else has a hard on about the punctuation in this post, all I'm doing is jumping up and down, pointing, and screaming 'She said, St. Patty's Day. She said, St. Patty's Day!"
  • theleftie
    theleftie Posts: 312 Member
    While everyone else has a hard on about the punctuation in this post, all I'm doing is jumping up and down, pointing, and screaming 'She said, St. Patty's Day. She said, St. Patty's Day!"


    I <3 you!!! (Especially when you jump up and down....)
  • AEB_WV
    AEB_WV Posts: 323 Member
    my head hurts

    This.

    This squared

    I'll just add this is the longest sentence I've ever seen.
  • cuatromommy
    cuatromommy Posts: 120 Member
    I also had a hard time reading this, but I do have a bit of advice. And...the advice is for your own sanity. Quit trying to be his mom. In the long run you will end up losing your mind if you continue to play that roll. Be a Man AND a Woman...have your own lives and your lives together. Just be a mother to the toddler.
  • Freax
    Freax Posts: 91 Member
    too many run on sentences and not enough punctuation and i couldn't even get through enough to help out because my eyes hurt and it doesn't make sense without capital letters punctuation not going to be able to figure out what you want to know so i can't help sorry
    I see what you did there. :laugh:
  • Kissybiz
    Kissybiz Posts: 361 Member
    too many run on sentences and not enough punctuation and i couldn't even get through enough to help out because my eyes hurt and it doesn't make sense without capital letters punctuation not going to be able to figure out what you want to know so i can't help sorry

    Same here. I really want to help, I just did not understand what was going on.
    She said that she's been with this guy for almost 5 years and they have a child, and he's never shown any signs of cheating. He is visiting someone out of town and wants to go out for St. Patrick's Day, and she's freaking out and angry because he doesn't have concrete plans on where he will be going, even though she wants to do exactly the same thing.

    Wow.. thank you for interpreting..lol. I was so confused!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    It is difficult to follow but what it sounds like is that any time he is away from you you are badgering him as to where he is and who he is with.
    You admit to going places without him and enjoying your time.

    Now he has asked the same of you as to where you are going and with whom and it has made you angry.
    On top of that you are attempting to rationalize away the obvious hypocrisy.

    There is an easy answer,you know what it is but doubt you are ready to yet but here it goes...

    I could just tell you to stop doing it but that is pointless,you will not.
    What you have to do is some real soul searching as to who you are and if that is a person that deserves to have his love.
    It is clear to me that you are not putting him or his happiness equal to or above your own,in short you are being childishly selfish.
    Sorry to be blunt but I think it is what you will understand right now.

    Look in a mirror and ask yourself if you would want to be with you.
  • scotslass
    scotslass Posts: 317
    You are going to attract the one thing you dont want the way you are being with him. Trust is everything in a relationship and if there is none it really can't be any fun at all. If you feel this anger towards him all the time don't you think your little one picks up on that aswell? You could keep a man locked up all day if you wanted if he's going to cheat he will but you are suffocating him. How would you like it the other way around? I think for your own sanity you need to start trusting this man. He has never cheated before and he obviously loves you. Calm yourself down and enjoy your baby and your partner and stop wasting time attracting what you don't want. x
  • YMark
    YMark Posts: 65 Member
    my head hurts

    Mine too. What happened to writing cohesive sentences and paragraphs?
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    my head hurts

    Mine too. What happened to writing cohesive sentences and paragraphs?

    Called "texting".
  • CandaceyD
    CandaceyD Posts: 74
    Ditto.

    Take a deep breath. Now go to the liquor store an get a bottle of wine. Go back home and draw yourself a bath. Now chill out. Under no circumstances should you call him. If you feel the urge, throw your phone out the window. Good.
  • whtlatina1214
    whtlatina1214 Posts: 765 Member
    Ok. Im back to a computer ... THANKS TO NICE PEOPLE. Funny all the people saying i need punctuations, commas, and etc, are the ones who didnt.


    yes i admit i am 21, this is my FIRST real relationship. Im a young mom how do you not feel insecure sometimes. That is why im using mfp to earn the confidence i had back before the baby. I do tell him the truth i think it was because how i was raised, and also he is an honest man. THEREFORE he told me all his past how he did cheat on girls back in the day, and so on. I guess in my head i wonder why im different. But i talked to him about it last night since you people on here are so f$$%ing rude. Im sorry when im upset the last thing on my mind is writing like im in school it is the internet and almost like fb i didnt think i would need to be proper.

    BUT AGAIN THANKS TO THOSE WHO ACTUALLY DID HELP. Especially saying sit and think to myself what it is bothering me then talk to him . Also be more confident which im doing day by day .
  • Charliesuccess
    Charliesuccess Posts: 181 Member
    The replies here are intentionally cruel without any trace of genuine concern or interest in this woman's predicament. She asked for help and admitted to something, so you shame her? That kind of attitude is what leads people to give up on self-improvement. I thought this website's purpose was to provide support to people...

    Anyway, to address the OP's concerns: There is something here causing you to act this way. Insecurity? Learned behavior? Jealousy? Past emotional trauma? Genuine distrust for a guy you know is sleazy? It would be impossible for anyone else to say why without wild speculation. Only you can really figure out why after much introspection. Regardless of why it will take baby steps toward what you want to achieve. There is no "fix" and there is no "one solution". You're going to have to work for it. You'll take a step, then fail miserably, then try again, then be successful for a while, then fail even more miserably than ever before. Communicate with your partner, seek professional assistance, talk to your friends or family, pick up a new hobby. Be mindful to make yourself the woman you want to be to make you the happiest for yourself.

    My response was genuine....she may need a Psychiatrist to help her with her issue.
  • whtlatina1214
    whtlatina1214 Posts: 765 Member
    yes i hav been prior and i think that has a lot to do with it as well i did 12 years with one due to family history and school and anger issues . Now it is more insecure and me growing up to fast . Im sure, my boyfriend thinks its because i was rushed into adult hood early on and me having a child and losing a lot of friends because of my child. I have to be strong and right now im just feeling weak ... I know once I push myself with this being healthy thing and learning more each day I will get that confidence i want and need. I just hope like a lot of you guys pointed out that i dont push him away before...
  • darkknightfan
    darkknightfan Posts: 396 Member
    you two may need to see a councilor
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    my head hurts

    Me too...do you have an extra Vicodin?
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    you people on here are so f$$%ing rude.

    This is rude. Some of us on this site are adults, born before 1975, and we do appreciate the niceties...best wishes on the rest of your life, may it be long and useful.

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