body image issues with boy children

Id like to add, my son told me yesterday he was choosing to eat lighter he does count his calories 2200...because he was allowed to eat fun food on his birthday...I go just make sure you are eating enough calories it is important to still grow. He goes dont worry mom, im not going to not eat i like food too much. lol I am just choosing to eat better for my body. I like all the "healthy" foods (he puts his fingers in quotations. lol He says hes not concerned about his body he likes himself. Goes I am a good person I try to be a good person all the time...lol My friends like me, and when I am older if I am still "paunchy" because of genetics then god will send me the right woman for me so it wont be a problem lol. My point is he has a healthy view of himself. Just have a sitdown and talk to your kids and find out how they view themselves.

This is not the first thread I've seen with parents worried because their kids are taking an interest in what they eat. I don't see that you're worried because your skinny kid looks in the mirror to examine himself for fatness or talks about being too fat/ugly/weak! I see that you're worried because your kid takes an active interest in nutrition! I would be proud instead of worried. Love the cottage cheese question!!! He's wanting to know why you made that choice to know if it's a choice he should make--that's a WAY GOOD thing! There is no way most people can live in this society without understanding something of calories vs nutrition! We're no longer out on the farm eating beans and onions for about every meal like my mother grew up doing. There are Ding Dongs on every corner and no societal norm that says not to get one (and a Coke) every time you get gas or a newspaper. The problems kids have with body image are partly just how people are--to a degree everyone (if they're normal) feels that they don't quite measure up, but mostly because of mean-spirited or just ignorant people trying to change behavior through shame and manipulation rather than by teaching and training. I have five kids, the youngest is 16. We live 'out' and have livestock and so my kids grew up knowing that what goes in is a big part of health. We talked a lot about getting out and doing things being good for people as well as aging horses. My kids know that health is what you do, and sometimes just what happens in spite of what you do, it's not part of what makes you worthwhile.
Also, I think it's important that we look for what is really true about our selves and our situations. I am overweight, to the high end of 'normal' now, but have been obese more than I'd like to admit. I don't have a problem saying I'm fat when I am--I'm also in debt and I talk too much (as if you hadn't figured THAT one out by now). Beating myself up over my weak areas is not productive--but neither is denying that I have weak areas. Another poster talks about 'balance' and I agree, and want to add 'tone' and 'value'. Speak the truth in love, to yourself and others. And YOU don't value body image over things of consequence, like character, integrity, work ethic and love--and your kids will be more likely to value the things of value also.

I think maybe my verbiage in my original post is what set off the "smh" comment(s) I tend to speak dramatically...I said I am "highly obsessed with my figure" when really I meant" I am very conscious of my figure". Who knows!?!?

you are correct!

I think you're doing right by them by keeping the family's lifestyle healthy. Growing up, my family ate junk food and fast food and all of us were overweight to some degree. I have 2 kids now, a boy and a girl, and I want them to be healthy and fit from the get-go and not have to worry about needing to lose weight. There's nothing wrong with helping your kids understand what a healthy diet and exercise regimen looks like!

Keep up the good work, mama!

I think it's great that your kids understand nutrition, calories, and portion size. As long as they aren't worried that about how they look, it shouldn't be a huge issue. That said, tone down the talk of calories and up the talk of nutrition. 11 years old is a bit young for them to be so obsessed that they carry on conversations with adults about it...

ditto this ^^^ ... well said

I think it's great that your kids understand nutrition, calories, and portion size. As long as they aren't worried that about how they look, it shouldn't be a huge issue. That said, tone down the talk of calories and up the talk of nutrition. 11 years old is a bit young for them to be so obsessed that they carry on conversations with adults about it...

I agree with this as well.

I have two sons, one is 18 and he has become "health conscious" on his own. I didn't need to direct him much. Especially in today's body obsessed society. My other son is only 4 so his health choices are mostly mine at this point.
If you are in control of your children's food choices....which most parents are, then there should be no worries as to talk of calories etc. They should only be worried about kid stuff IMO. A well balanced meal should be the responsibility of the parents. Calories, protein, carbs, and so on are not dinner conversation in our house...I would rather discuss how their day went and what things they did. I think if your kids are picking up on your "health talk" to the point that they are trying to have discussions about it, then maybe, just maybe there is cause for a little concern. I would at least tone down the conversations in front of the kids.

I agree totally ... i was called rude because i shook my head to the original post ... but the OBSESSIVE part is what i thought was extreme. thanks for speaking what my smh meant lol

Jen- I think you are doing the right thing with them. I have one child- a boy- and although he is only about to turn 3, you don't want them to grow up thinking that it is ok to just always sit down and watch tv or play video games. There are so many bad things (health and otherwise) that can come from that. I know that I want to instill a healthy image and environment for him, and any other children we may have. If you are worried, just keep an eye on it. If it gets to a level where you feel it is necessary, talk to them about it.

I think it's great that they're becoming aware. My 2 boys are always watching what I eat and notice when I have a huge plate of broccoli. Being aware of exercise, calories, protein and good things like that are key to kids being aware of these things when they get older and doing good things for their bodies. It's fantastic when a kid can look at something and say, "this junk food won't help my body." If they start obsessing about weight LOSS when they don't need to lose weight, that's when I'd keep an eye on it.

I think it's great that your kids understand nutrition, calories, and portion size. As long as they aren't worried that about how they look, it shouldn't be a huge issue. That said, tone down the talk of calories and up the talk of nutrition. 11 years old is a bit young for them to be so obsessed that they carry on conversations with adults about it...

I agree with this as well.

I have two sons, one is 18 and he has become "health conscious" on his own. I didn't need to direct him much. Especially in today's body obsessed society. My other son is only 4 so his health choices are mostly mine at this point.
If you are in control of your children's food choices....which most parents are, then there should be no worries as to talk of calories etc. They should only be worried about kid stuff IMO. A well balanced meal should be the responsibility of the parents. Calories, protein, carbs, and so on are not dinner conversation in our house...I would rather discuss how their day went and what things they did. I think if your kids are picking up on your "health talk" to the point that they are trying to have discussions about it, then maybe, just maybe there is cause for a little concern. I would at least tone down the conversations in front of the kids.

I agree totally ... i was called rude because i shook my head to the original post ... but the OBSESSIVE part is what i thought was extreme. thanks for speaking what my smh meant lol

No, I think you were called rude because instead of asking a question to clarify what she meant, or offering any advise, you felt it necessary to simply shake your head at her words. How is that in any way helpful?

Better than the Mom's who let their children stuff their faces with donuts & fast food french fries.

I only wish my mother (who was a nurse) would have installed just habits and knowledge to me. I've had to learn it all on my own. My children will be given those skills ealry on.

I think it's great. I wish we had paid more attention to it when our kids were younger. You need to teach them this stuff early, if you wait until they are older, you have less control over their meals, they are out and making more of their own decisions, and of course they think their parents don't know anything so they won't listen. Don't worry that your kids are educated and knowledgeable about something so important.

I think it's fine, but maybe make a conscious effort to change your verbage when you speak with or around them about food or losing weight. You should emphasize that you are doing it to be strong and healthy, not to lose weight (even if you are doing it to lose weight). My kids often ask me why I exercise, and I always make sure to tell them I do it to be strong and healthy. I'd much rather say it's because mommy feels like a fatty and needs to lose some weight, but I don't want them to associate working out and eating right with a negative self image.

I am the mother of two boys and I believe that we are our children's teachers and WE must teach them the right ways of living and that of course includes their health. I do believe that we can get obsessive and forget that we can still have things like icecream or a fun dessert without going overboard. I believe in balance. Over this last year I had to get my self in order for my life and my children's. I always stressed excerise and being fit to my children but I did not practice what I preached so all of that changed last year and I started my healthy life. During this year I have lost 78 lbs total. Now during this time I will still have days were we get a treat like an icecream cone,a cookie, or chocolate covered strawberries. No we don't do it everyday but I believe it shows my children that you can eat healthy, be healthy and still have treats. I believe in living healthy NOT losing weight. If you live healthy the weight will come off. So be careful and not to be obessive on weight but promote HEALTH!