body image issues with boy children

Better than the Mom's who let their children stuff their faces with donuts & fast food french fries.

Agreed! When I see unhealthy sized children, I SMH at the parents.

Same here! It makes me mad that people criticize parents for instilling healthy habits in their childrens heads. My parents didnt. And i still have "body image issues".

SMH isn't trash talk...

thank you!!

from a sista to a sista LMBO!

This is an interesting discussion. My DH is very into fitness and into eating whole foods but he is very against calorie counting and such. I think the fact that i'vE been banned from discussing calories may help me because I want my kids to pick up on fitness and balanced eating of whole foods but I don't want them to pick up on calories, etc and certainly not that sensation of feeling overweight. Ideally I want them to be like my DH and never have to think about calories but be really fit. I agree the most dangerous things to pass on is associating fitness or calories with poor body image since anyone can get an eating disorder

Eta: it's true that some of the things you said like behind highly obsessed with your figure and not letting kids to ruin your body sounded bad in the context of the discussion but something that touches most women on some levels....

I agree with the others that instilling good habits and an understanding of the correlation between eating, exercising, and staying healthy is very important.

That being said, my ex-husband was bulimic (I'm sure he still is) - and no one would believe me because society tends to see it as a "young white girl" condition when in fact eating disorders cross all ethnic, gender, and age lines. For him it was part of his general OCD behavior (obsessive compulsive disorder). He saw food as an area he could "control" in his life. He was also ridiculously tight with money, and therefore could "save" money by not eating at home, then would binge when we were at friends, at a buffet, or any other place where portions were not controlled. He would then come home and vomit - not because he was trying to be thin so much as his stomach would rebel after suddenly having SO much food at one time. Several times he passed out and the paramedics had to be called. Obviously his was a rather extreme case, but I mention it because somewhere, at some point in his life, this condition developed. Keep an eye on your kids/parents/loved ones. You never know who will be affected by this.

And I'm not trying to be melodramatic - just pointing out a situation that I lived with for many, many years before realizing that I could not help him.

I have a 10 year old son who was slightly overweight. When I started my journey to losing weight in January, he watched me as I was counting calories, going shopping for healthier foods, and exercising. He asked if he could exercise with me, he started asking me a lot of questions about healthy foods vs junk, and how to lose weight, and together we are BOTH losing weight!

I talked to his pediatrician about how many calories he should be eating and my son is now considered to be in a healthy weight range! All his pants are falling off of him, they were tight just 2 months ago, he lost more inches vs. lbs. He has more energy, he chooses to move more over playing video games, and makes his own healthier food choices. If he wants a cookie, he will limit himself without having to be told.

Personally, I think it's great that you and your husband are good role models for your sons!

Good eating and health start at home. Setting a good example will carry over. I see it in my daughter now and she want to exercise with me as soon as she's old enough.
There is NOTHING wrong with giving the right knowledge to your kids.


A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

OP: I think that if you felt concerned enough by this to want to discuss it, then maybe discussing it with your husband is the thing to do. Yes it is very important for kids to learn about protein, carbohydrates, nutrition, portions, etc, and to learn it verbally! It's also important that they learn that if you don't have an active job or play sports of an evening, then yes, you have to go to the gym. However...

A question about whether you're eating cottage cheese to lose fat indicates concern from your child, to me. He can look at you and see that you are a very thin and fit woman, and that you do not need to lose fat, so when he sees you eating something that he clearly already knows is low in fat, he might be getting the perception that you're fat, or that you think you're fat. THIS is what you do not want. You do not want them thinking that when they are fit and healthy they are actually not. That when they are thin, they are not.

The point of a healthy lifestyle is that it becomes something one does not need to obsess about or count. You know what is good and what is bad and what has protein and what has fat and what happens when you eat too much sugar. You know what happens when you run and when you don't. You know that when you shift from a job packing shelves to a desk job, or study, that you need to go to the gym more. You know your bmi limits and you don't freak out about shifting around within them a bit. You know that being able to run a good few kilometres is a good thing for your heart, and that getting up a bit of a sweat and racing heart is a great thing for you. None of it is stressful - none of it involves counting or obsessing. It just involves knowing that it's just what you have to do to be your healthiest and happiest.

Trust your gut and maybe try to shift toward a less stressful approach to healthy and fitness yourself. If you talk about it so much that your kids are picking up on it then I think you could benefit from cooling it with the clocking in every calorie. you clearly know what you're doing since you've remained healthy for so long.

I grew up as a 'work hard, eat cereal, sandwiches, meat and 3 veg, some fruit and very small treats... go outside and play then do your chores!' sort of kid. The only thing my parents did 'wrong' in terms of health was that they were both very anti 'exercise' and pro 'work hard doing your job/chores'. I did not have a problem with anything until I got a desk job. This is how I learned that I NEED to run if i can't work hard all day. I read the back of my cereal packet and listened in school when they taught me about the food pyramid, so i understood what all the different foods were composed of and how much of them to eat.

Because you live a healthy lifestyle your kids already have the very best head start to health that they can get. Health doesn't need to be associated with a scary thing that needs to be obsessed over and counted all the time - this is just a method for those of us who did not learn the very things you are teaching your kids through feeding them right and setting the example. You're doing an amazing, amazing job, but yeah, I say trust your gut - it got twisted for a reason. It sounds like obsessing and counting is not what you want for your kids.

(note: i am here because i am trying to figure out how to lose weight with very limited mobility... this is something i could never have picked up as a kid.)