ohyeah! i had a real ?... sexual orientation...

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  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    I'd put it down to whether she wants actual sex with the girl and/or a relationship.

    I'd always say I'm straight. I find many women sexually attractive, but, do I actually have any desire to have sex with them? No. Do I want a relationship with them? No.

    Even if she did feel that way though, I still wouldn't want to put a label on it unless I felt sure. As someone else mentioned, I don't think sexuality is so clear cut, it's more like a scale from 1-100.
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
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    As Liz Lemon put it on 30 Rock-"You can't just be gay for one person, unless you're female and it's Ellen."

    All kidding aside though, do what makes you happy. Some people take longer than others to figure it all out.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    sexuality is a fluid thing. i hate labels, whatever the label is, no one fits into it perfectly.

    so you can say shes bi curious, or straight with bi leanings, whatever.

    but really, can anyone say they are 100% heterosexual or homosexual. we are attracted to what we're attracted to, doesnt mean we have to label it...

    I like this response. Sexual orientation isn't really nominal, or even uni-demensional, there are different aspects to it, who you're attracted to, who you chose to have sex with, who you chose to be in a relationship with, etc. (factors that are not nearly as consistent as you might think). And, as this commenter points out, it is fluid, in the sense that it can change over time. Labels are a useful shorthand for communicating certain messages, but they're not very good for truly capturing lived experience.
  • D446
    D446 Posts: 266 Member
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    I would not label myself straight, gay, or bi. I don't really feel the need to put a label on it, I am in a relationship with a man, and I would not rule out having a relationship with someone just because of their sex.
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,305 Member
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    Does your "friend" feel empowered by one label over another? Is there a sense of identity with one label over another? Ultimately the label is just words, but to your friend, and anyone interacting with your friend, the label may alter perception/judgment.


    no, not looking for a label really at all. just simply contemplating definitions. No word is going to change a thing.
  • dadsinfitnessplan
    dadsinfitnessplan Posts: 1
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    is a tag needed? .... she likes ppl it doesn't matter what sex ... or is that just me :)
    its called greed.....we love greed ;)
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    If I climb some rocks once or twice, am I a rock climber? If I kick a football (or soccer ball) once or twice, does that make me a footballer (soccer) player?

    How is it any different?

    If some dude took you from behind sexually once or twice would you be gay?..... Uummm HELL ya you would in most peoples book thats and act of homo and thats how its different. Comparing kicking certain balls that are played as sports is way different bro..duh haha...:smile:

    I'll explain in words you understand

    If someone experiments once or twice, this does not make them gay nor bi. It means they were curious, they made decide they did not like it and remain with the the atypical male/female coupling.

    However some may find they like both, that makes them bi. Some may find they like the same sex only and that is them being gay. Having tried it out once, does not make you gay nor bi.

    Both my ex's experimented and hated it. They were not bi, nor gay.
  • KaydeeMehl
    KaydeeMehl Posts: 88
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    i dont know what I am lol. I was in a relationship with a girl for 4 years and it went great ad i was completely satisfied until she cheated on me. Then I met this guy and he and I are in a relationship but im missing me some girls!!!!!!!!!!
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
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    If I climb some rocks once or twice, am I a rock climber? If I kick a football (or soccer ball) once or twice, does that make me a footballer (soccer) player?

    How is it any different?

    If some dude took you from behind sexually once or twice would you be gay?..... Uummm HELL ya you would in most peoples book thats and act of homo and thats how its different. Comparing kicking certain balls that are played as sports is way different bro..duh haha...:smile:

    I'll explain in words you understand

    If someone experiments once or twice, this does not make them gay nor bi. It means they were curious, they made decide they did not like it and remain with the the atypical male/female coupling.

    However some may find they like both, that makes them bi. Some may find they like the same sex only and that is them being gay. Having tried it out once, does not make you gay nor bi.

    Both my ex's experimented and hated it. They were not bi, nor gay.

    Well I will put it in words you understand. There no getting around that the ACT in itself was being gay so at that time they were with other people of the same sex so ......... yes they were gay...lol

    "Homosexuality is romantic or sexual attraction or behavior between members of the same sex or gender"
    Lesibain ... so on and so forth

    Tough concept for some ehh..
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,305 Member
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    bummer ... another very innocent thread of mine is going to get it again ...


    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQyZACMBRZdJnbfG1rJmjnXfjV2UHlSoBfv4z6VR8l73Cy5QJOte7SEV1V1hQ
  • marywanoKC
    marywanoKC Posts: 176
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    Bump to read later...lol! Sorry!
  • Huffdogg
    Huffdogg Posts: 1,934 Member
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    I would say that being attracted is curious. I mean, that seems the way to go with me. You're curious if you're bi or not. You won't know until you act on it.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    to stay within rules - i am NOT being sexually explicit - I'm asking about sexual orientation. big difference. (and for the record - straight, bi, gay or les, makes no matter to me - you all rule)



    let's say i have this "friend", who is a girl.

    is it possible for my "friend" to be attracted sexually to another girl and still be considered straight? Or is just the fact that I, i mean, my "friend" is sexually attracted to another girl while still being sexually attracted to boys, mean she's bi?

    I'm going to need to hear more to figure out how best to help you.

    Tell me about the other girl. Her hair? Eye color? The gentle curve of her lower back? Is she timid but curious or aggressive and dominant? And for the love of god, boobs??

    I just can't figure anything out from the limited information given.
  • JenLoses
    JenLoses Posts: 2
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    Gender and sexuality are fluid, although some would say they are on a spectrum. The whole point of a spectrum is that you fall somewhere along it. You can be at one polar end or somewhere in the middle. I don't really like that though, because it seems too rigid. But gender and sexuality are individual. As some have said already, don't get caught up in the labels. You are you.

    For the record, I identify as pansexual, but I only really pursue relationships with men, so many people perceive me to be heterosexual.
  • excessofme50
    excessofme50 Posts: 3
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    LOL some of this is beginning to sound like an AOL chat room....hahahaha
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,366 Member
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    Your friend is whatever your friend wants to be.

    Who needs a label??

    Most females find other females attractive, does that mean we wanna have sex with them or be in a relationship with them??
    Not necessarily.

    I identify as being Pansexual.
    Gender has no role in my relationships. :o)
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Why label?
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,366 Member
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    I don't like labels. I live by the idea of the sexual spectrum. One end is totally 100% straight and the other is totally 100% homo. I think, unless someone is asexual, they fall somewhere along the spectrum. I think it's rare to be one of the extremes. I definitely am sexually attracted to girls, although, most of my experiences are with men. Sexuality is far more than just who you choose to have sex with. That's my opinion.

    Edit: I guess I just basically said the same thing as Cheryl.

    Disagree with the falling along the spectrum because I find NOTHING attractive about a dude... absolutely NOTHING!

    I disagree too. I am 100% straight. I can look at a woman and think she is pretty, beautiful or even sexy. I could wish I looked like her, but there is nothing that stirs that lust spark. NOPE, that is the one time that reach out and touch someone doesn't enter the brain.

    IMHO.

    Then you both would OBVIOUSLY fall along the end of the spectrum of being 100% straight.
    Maybe you should understand what its orginally saying before you jump to conclusions.
    Nobody was saying everybody falls on the spectrum of being gay.
  • Quiing
    Quiing Posts: 261 Member
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    Screw a label. Attraction is never limited to what's between a person's legs, and I dont see the point of labeling people based on what they are attracted to.
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
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    I don't think labels are necessary. For me the person is more important than the gender

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