Rant: MFP Forums.

I first started MFP in November 2010 and it was much more supportive. It is very hostile now.

Pretty much. I joined a year ago and even in the last 6 months or so it's become very hostile at times. Thanks OP for creating this thread, you pretty much nailed it. Probably why I don't post often on here anymore.

My sentiments exactly. I was thinking the same thing this morning. And like another poster stated, unfortunately it's not unique to MFP boards. I'm a member on another weight loss board and the same thing happens there. It's just sad.

I agree completely. To carry it just a bit further, I hate it when someone starts out by saying that they are new here before they ask their question, and they they are bombarded with snarky comments about how they should look for other threads that already addressed their question. Until you've been on here awhile you don't always know how to look for other posts/threads that cover what you are asking. I don't ask ANYTHING on these threads for precisely that reason. No one seems to know how to be nice to the new kids.

Totally agree. I've never bothered to even introduce myself here. People post snide and snarky remarks even on that thread!
And I don't buy the "welcome to the internet" excuse. I've been on other internet forums (political and historical)and there are many heated discussions and debates, the overwhelming majority of participants have the good graces to be civil.

I really don't see it as that bad. :indifferent: Maybe it's because I've been picked on, bullied, ostracized, you name it, in real life so much when I was young that some words on a forum don't bother me.

The overwhelming majority of people on here are civil and helpful and really amazing. There's just... an overwhelming number of people. With a community this large, even if just 1% of the population are trolls, that's a significant number of trolls.

I try to not to post much in the forums. My advice is find some like minded friends and ask them.

If you want support, that's a great thing to do.

If you want advice and opinions, though... like-minded friends are probably just going to tell you want you already believe to be true.

I like surrounding myself with like-minded friends, too, but I've learned the most from people who had different views from my own.

Maybe if the OPs of topics would post their so-called opinion in a not-so-b!tchy manner people wouldn't tear them apart. A lot of people post rants, comments, and other things to try to get a fanbase of people that will agree with them 100%. If no one agrees the OP gets all upset and b!tches more.

Not saying this is everyone, but I see it a lot. Now for the people asking advice, some of them 1) don't have their dairy open publicly, 2) can't tell the difference between criticism and rude comments, 3) never really wanted advice in the first place.

Again, this is not everyone...

Well, as a member of many different forums, my opinion is that people are WAY more sensitive than they used to be. Tempers flare in a hot second. Many times the OP doesn't get the tone of the responder and then it's off to the races! (Usually with other horses jumping in to run)

If someone jumps into my stuff I can choose to engage or look the other way. For the most part I look the other way and don't let what some random person on the interwebs says ruin my day or make me feel bad about myself.

As someone who has spent time in some of the Internet's fiercest and most flammable forums over the years, I can assure you that this place is nearly as positive as freakin' Smurf Village.

I'm not sure it's reasonable to expect 100% immunity from malicious morons, as this site - like any site with a social aspect -- has an open membership. Members are not pre-approved by a committee of top health and self-improvement experts. They don't even have to supply a credit card imprint. Any schmuck can join. And I'm willing to bet that getting kicked off MFP isn't easy -- I'm willing to bet you need to start accusing people of being Hitler or affect Tourette's Syndrome or start cyber-stalking in order to get the mods mad.

Frankly, I'm not sure it's reasonable to expect 100% immunity from malicious morons anywhere in life, let alone in a quasi-policed open forum.

I do acknowledge that being shielded from the petty potty of malicious morons is a very nice thing, and when someone is in a vulnerable state it can even be even more so, but in the end it's still a luxury. And it isn't reasonable to expect luxuries from a free website.

On the other hand it's always nice to remind everyone not to be jerks, so I'm glad you posted.

Thank you, OP, for sticking up for eating disordered people. I've been on this site for a month and I've been lurking the forums and I have to say posting anything is terrifying. People are terrible to eachother on here. ( and sadly, people on those so-called "pro-ana" sites are MUCH more encouraging and helpful, whether it's about eating healtheir or slowly killing yourself) Many people on these forums throw around the word "unhealthy" like it's a filthy insult. I've seen certain four letter words used with less malice.

I get this crippling insecurity that people will peek at my diary if I post anything and rip me a new one for my erratic eating habits. I'm here trying to change, people.

Isn't personal change what we're all here for?

No two people are ever going to be on exactly the same journey.

I have posted and so far, no one has been snarky or I haven't seen it LOL. I do want constructive feedback. My diary is open because I want to be accountable to my friends. They may see something that I am missing. If I choose to eat a big bag of M&M, I want to HAVE to record it for friends to see. I've been eating in the closet, so to speak, for too long. Just saying this is my reasoning, doesn't need to be your reasoning.

I learned a long time ago (can't remember from whom) that if you are "attacked" or given less than constructive feedback, really listen to what is being said, look closely in the mirror, take what you believe is about you and then "turn the mirror" back on the "giver." Many times, what is being said is more about the speaker than the listener and may teach you a great deal about them.

For me, this allows me to de-personalize the comments, listen and learn. Oh by the way, telling then what you learned about them is never a good idea, they generally don't really want to learn about themselves (IMO), they want to bring everyone around them down to their level, so they can feel better about themselves not learn about themselves and grow. If you share what you learned, do so in private and not on a thread. They may be able to hear it that way without having to defend their position. Just saying <smiles>