Guys & girls - Marriage pact, real or not?

Need people to bump this through April 7th. I want to know what happens!

To the OP: You have a level head on you - you will end up doing the right thing here, and I bet either way it goes, you'll be able to keep the friendship (even if you give it a shot and it doesn't work) - just may take some time.

Does he know your feelings about marriage? You are right in what you said about not wanting to lead him on if he is serious. He should know that you have no intention of getting married to anyone not just him. If you are enjoying the growing intimacy then be honest with him that it won't lead to marriage. Also if you are keeping open to other potential boyfriends, it would be unfair to give your friend the idea that he has a romantic future with you.

Good luck

It really don't matter if he thinks there is chemistry or not if you don't feel it. The passion in life is what keeps it exciting, though there are many other things that can keep it stable.

Bump, I am so interested.

You don't live in an f'ing sitcom.
If you love them and want to marry them, ask them.
If you don't then don't.

Ok, this may sound silly. A very close guy friend and I made a pact several years ago that if we were still single in 10 years that we would marry each other. I completely forgot about it though. A few months ago while we were having dinner, I asked him if he thought I'd ever find someone who could make me really happy. (I've been told I have high standards and that I'm idealistic) He dropped his fork and looked completely surprised. He said, "What do mean? I thought we were getting married!" Since then we've had several conversations about it but neither of us could tell if the other is serious or joking. Now I'm not saying I would go through with this but I am very curious to find out if his reaction meant that he took it that serious. We've never dated or even kissed, just really great friends for years. Well, our 10th anniversary is coming up next summer. Opinions please?

um. Yeah. Get married. Think about it, he's a guy you've been friends with for TEN years. That's pretty impressive, what other guy are you going to meet that's going to be as compatible with you as he is? Long as the sex is good, I say marry.

but obviously there's a problem otherwise you wouldn't even be posting this

I think marriage pacts are great, because if you somehow manage to keep that friendship for XX years and remember the pact then he/she is The One.

LOVE is BS. Marry your friend. I did. It's great. Do I love her? Ya, but it's more of a friendship than a "OMG UR SOOOOO HOT I WANNA %$*#^*#$@#$$@*!!!!!" We never had that, it was always friends, friends with benefits really, and after 5 years we finally said, ya, let's just get married, it's been this long...... :-D

Meh. Go for it. It's better than being the crazy cat lady.

Love this! :laugh: :laugh:

Every time he takes me to dinner, I have to reciprocate with a massage, lol.

Wait...what? Isn't that an indication of whether he feels any chemistry?

You could try dating him? Perhaps the reason you're curious about it is because you might have feelings for him? He may also have feelings for you that he's never shared before.

But I definately would not enter a life long commitment with a man that I was not completely in love with. Marriage is forever. Sickness, health, good, bad, ugly. It isn't something you want to just jump into based on a pact made 10 years ago whether he's serious or not. Because the truth of the matter is it's just a silly pact.

What if you married him and 2 years later met a man that you fell hard for - but you had married this other guy that you didn't love?

I think it is best to marry someone who is your bestfriend. Who better to spend the rest of your life with then someone who understands you and makes you happy?

I dated my best friend for 3 years....Great companionship but lack everything else..
I'm so glad I did not married him!

Is he cute? Does he live with his mom? Does he have a job?

This stuff is important and will affect how I answer.

Good questions. He is cute, a mama's boy, stable secure job. Actually, he would make the perfect husband. I've often told him this. Only prob, there is no chemistry between us whatsoever. I'm trying to convince him that we should be roommates but he says I couldn't have a boyfriend and that's he's loyal and expects me to be. But I still can't tell if he's joking with this pact. I've tried to be up front with him, we always end up laughing. But his body language tells me otherwise.

I don't think you should marry someone who is just a friend. It really deprives you and him of getting the whole package. Just keep pretending like you think he is joking:)

My best friend (female) and I decided within the first 4 years of our friendship (and we met when I was 11, so) that if by 30 neither of us was dating or married we'd go gay for each other. We were half serious because back then we were like sisters, but both of us knew we didn't swing that way.

I've always thought of those pacts as not really a joke but just sort of a way to cheer each other up for the moment. Like saying, "well we're friends now so even if we never meet our loves we'll have each other and won't be lonely or sad." I suppose it's one of those things you simply assume won't ever happen so it's okay to say.

If he's really serious about marrying you though, I think either you guys need to start with the dating basics or you need to distance yourself from him. Because yeah okay you're friends and you know things about one another, but there's a difference between being a friend to the opposite sex and being in a relationship.

Ummmm Hello! Aren't you suppsed to marry your best friend??? What if True Love has been staring you in the face for 12 yrs??? Super surprised to see all of the negative responses here. Doesn't anyone believe in Happy Endings anymore???

Second marriage, I married my best friend. It was by far the best decision I've made in my adult life. And no, I don't regret past choices because they've made me the person he loves today.