STUPID JOKE PARTY!

245

Replies

  • laineyluma
    laineyluma Posts: 358 Member
    How do you get an elephant out of a subway?

    You take the S out of sub and the F out of way..






    For those that didn't get it...
    (theres no effin way)
  • tracy1031
    tracy1031 Posts: 36
    Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

    In his sleevies!
  • pamperedhen
    pamperedhen Posts: 446 Member
    What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean?


    BOB

    What do call a woman with one leg?


    Eileen

    ______________________________________________
  • kiwi1855
    kiwi1855 Posts: 218 Member
    Did you hear about the parsley farmer who was sued? They garnished his wages...

    Don't go out wearing a broken watch. You'll always have a bad time.

    ... that's it... that's all I got...
  • Elenazuniga
    Elenazuniga Posts: 56
    Bump
  • OnMyWeigh464
    OnMyWeigh464 Posts: 447 Member
    How do you get an alien baby to fall asleep?

    You rocket
  • emczech5
    emczech5 Posts: 224 Member
    What do you call a trunk full of Bison? ... A buffaload
    What do you call bread made by a bison? ... A buffaloaf
    What do you call money lent to you by a bison? ... A buffaloan

    I found all of those on Popsicle sticks with in one week. That's a lot of Popsicle in one week. I think I figured how my weight gain started... Curse you Popsicle stick jokes!
  • holcjm
    holcjm Posts: 5 Member
    Whats brown and floats through walls?

    spooky dookie
  • emczech5
    emczech5 Posts: 224 Member
    A distraught sodium runs up to a police officer yelling "Officer, I've lost an election!" The officer asks "Are you sure?" The sodium responds "I'm Positive!"

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Britney Spears
    Britney Spears who?
    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Oops I did it again!
  • fatcellsuck
    fatcellsuck Posts: 184
    I always knew you all had it in you......literally.
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
    What do you call a fish with two knees? A two knee fish (a tuna fish). :laugh:
  • emczech5
    emczech5 Posts: 224 Member
    There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy? ...The one on the range
  • fatcellsuck
    fatcellsuck Posts: 184
    No i dont need a ride home, the helicopters are coming.
  • emczech5
    emczech5 Posts: 224 Member
    There are 10 kinds or people in this world: Those who understand binary and those who don't.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean?


    BOB

    What do call a woman with one leg?


    Eileen

    ______________________________________________
    What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?


    Irene



    A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    A pair of jumper cables walks into the bar, the bartender says "I will serve you, but don't be starting nothing"
  • wdwghettogirl
    wdwghettogirl Posts: 559 Member
    What do you call cheese that's not yours?

    NACHO cheese!
    Why do hippos wear sneakers?

    To stomp out burning ducks!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    If you think nobody cares, try missing a payment.

    A clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
    you guys are killing me with those stupid A jokes. So the only corny joke I could think of is...and i made it up..

    How did Chuck Norris end the Vietnam War...

    He counted to 3.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


    Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men?
    A. He thought it was a home delivery service.


    Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him." "And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly. "And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I'll be Bach," said Arnie.



    A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • jamja72
    jamja72 Posts: 119 Member
    Bump...
  • starblazing
    starblazing Posts: 28 Member
    what is the difference between a raccoon and a tv?


    a lot.
  • maletac
    maletac Posts: 767 Member
    So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.

    One of them yells "Holy Crap, it's hot in here!"

    And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"
  • jsherrill92
    jsherrill92 Posts: 775 Member
    What do you feed a gay horse......


    heeeeeeeeeyyyy

    hahahaha

    What's worse than a worm in your apple?
    The Holocaust
  • Hurricane_C
    Hurricane_C Posts: 806 Member
    Little Willie was a chemist
    Little Willie is no more
    For what he thought was H2O
    Was H2SO4

    Cracks me up every time....
  • Sammijo24
    Sammijo24 Posts: 74 Member
    Wanna hear a joke about cats?
    Just kitten
  • splucy
    splucy Posts: 353
    Why did the cookie go to hospital?

    Because he felt crummy.
  • splucy
    splucy Posts: 353

    Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men?
    A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

    hahahahhaha!! nice one.
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
    Why do firemen wear red suspenders?



    To keep their pants up.
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
    Little Willie was a chemist
    Little Willie is no more
    For what he thought was H2O
    Was H2SO4

    Cracks me up every time....

    I saw that in Boys Life magazine in 1959.
    1959, really.
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