STUPID JOKE PARTY!

135

Replies

  • Barbie1125
    Barbie1125 Posts: 115
    What did the fish say when he hit the cement wall ? Dam (damn)
  • tinkermommc
    tinkermommc Posts: 558 Member
    What do you call a sleeping cow? A Bulldozer
  • Evelyn_Gorfram
    Evelyn_Gorfram Posts: 706 Member
    A sultry & seductively dressed lady walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a Double Entendre.

    So... he gave her one. :wink:
  • Deanthedog
    Deanthedog Posts: 122 Member
    what do you call a three legged donkey?

    a wonky :laugh:
  • Onemoodycuss
    Onemoodycuss Posts: 95 Member
    what's worse than raining cats and dogs?

    hailing busses and taxis.
  • tinkermommc
    tinkermommc Posts: 558 Member
    Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Because its too cold out tide.
  • Karalopolous
    Karalopolous Posts: 574
    What do you call a cow with no legs?
    Ground beef

    Which animal needs to be oiled? a mouse, it squeaks
  • tkramh
    tkramh Posts: 15 Member
    What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea (No-eye-deer).
  • cyclingben
    cyclingben Posts: 346 Member
    2 blonds walk into a bar the third one ducts
  • jsapninz
    jsapninz Posts: 909 Member
    Why do women have small feet?

    So they can stand close to the sink.
  • alucard75
    alucard75 Posts: 207 Member
    A termite walks into a bar and ask.....Where is the bar tender
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
    Two guys walk into a bar.



    Third one ducks.
  • maleva720
    maleva720 Posts: 165 Member
    An Irish man walks out of a bar...
  • Leigh_b
    Leigh_b Posts: 576 Member
    What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?



    They have the same middle name.
  • Chipmaniac
    Chipmaniac Posts: 642 Member
    Here's an original:

    Why did Mrs. Mole divorce Mr. Mole?

    After 20 years of marriage she realized he was boring.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Guy tells bartender, "gimme a beer and I would like to buy that *kitten* at the end of the bar a drink"

    Bartender says "hey ahole, I happen to know her and you have no right to describe her that way"

    Guy says, "you're right...sorry. Would you please ask that pretty lady at the end of the bar if she would like a drink on me"

    Bartender says to lady, "would you like a drink on the guy sitting up there?"

    Lady says, "sure, give me a vinegar and water".

    :tongue:
  • ShanniLee
    ShanniLee Posts: 69
    An Irish man walks out of a bar...

    Haha gotta love Irish jokes :)

    What's the difference between and Irish Wedding and an Irish Funeral?
    There is one less drunk at the funeral :P
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    Lol x
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
    How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

    A buccaneer! (A buck an ear)

    What does snoop dog use his umbrella for?

    Fo drizzle

    What does snoop dog clean his laundry with?

    BLEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAACH
  • Grlnxtdr0721
    Grlnxtdr0721 Posts: 597 Member
    a blond a brunette and a red head walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "what, is this some kind of joke?"

    no just the story of my life in college :)
  • jlt1968
    jlt1968 Posts: 77 Member
    What did one eyeball say to the other???

    Between you and me somthing smells.
  • OLFATUG
    OLFATUG Posts: 393 Member
    A three legged dog walks into a bar. He says "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa".

    (That's actually the joke that made my wife fall in love with me. She's just as much of a dork as I am!)
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    What has nine arms and sucks?





    Def Leppard. :laugh:
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Where do people that talk too much go for treatment?

    On and on anon.
  • jdelot
    jdelot Posts: 397 Member
    Love it!
  • Grlnxtdr0721
    Grlnxtdr0721 Posts: 597 Member
    What did the fish say when I swam into the wall?
    *Dam*
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician?

    He worked it out with a pencil.
  • trijoe
    trijoe Posts: 729 Member
    The other day I was in the kitchen with my daughter. I said, "do you want sausage or bacon?" She said, "Surprise me." I say, "Okay... BOOO!!!!" She jumped.
  • byroman
    byroman Posts: 75 Member
    What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea (No-eye-deer).

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?


    Still no idear...
  • SunnyB09
    SunnyB09 Posts: 20
    Mushroom walks into a bar, sits down. The bartender turns to him and says, “Get outta here. We don’t serve your kind.” Mushroom says, “Why not? I’m a fungi.” :)
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