what is wrong with me???

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  • 19kat55
    19kat55 Posts: 336 Member
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    This is how it has worked for me. I am 56 and a life long yo yo dieter. Lose it, gain it back, lose it, gain it back and more. You get the drift. For one thing, we all want to make "lifetime" or "lifestyle" changes. However, when we start this journey that can become overwhelming to think about. I've done two things profoundly different this time and because of those two things I believe once and for all it has been changes I will keep after all the weight is gone. First off I have ate very clean. In the past I would exchange ice cream for Weight Watchers ice cream etc. You get the drift. Just substituted lower calorie/fat versions of the same foods. This time I have not done that. I eat whole grains, fruts, vegetables, low fat dairy, and lean meats. No crap. What this means is after getting through those first two weeks I no longer craved salty and sweet things. Now I crave FAGE yogurt LOL. The second thing I did is decided to take this journey one moment at a time, one minute at a time. I am an emotional eater and food addict. If I am having a particularly stressful time now I decided in this moment, right now, I am going to make a healthy choice of what goes in my mouth. No guarantees for tomorrow, that would be to stressful. But right now, in this moment, I can make a healthy choice. I have been making minute by minute choices now since October 1, 2011. This would not work for some people. And many would say "eat what ever you want, just eat it in moderation". But that is not possible for me. Once I go down that road, I will start making a bad choice in this minute. And then that will lead into the weekend. And then once a day. And then every meal. You get the drift. So find what works for you. For me it means moment by moment choices so I'm not overwhelmed with it all and staying away from sweet foods and salty snacky foods.
  • GemmaRowlands
    GemmaRowlands Posts: 360 Member
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    I have been trying to lose weight for the past 10 years.. bear in mind I'm only 21 now. For most of the times I've tried to diet, I've lost maybe half a stone, and then eaten even worse to gain it back plus even more.

    Last January, 2011, I decided enough was enough and started dieting. Since I started, I have lost 88 pounds, and have never looked back. The only one time I've had a week where I've gained was Christmas last year when I gained two pounds. Other than that, I haven't had a single blip.

    I can't tell you what made me so motivated THIS time as opposed to all of the other times, but all I'm trying to say to you is that there is hope. I never thought I'd be able to lose weight, and here I am, a size 12 at last, just where I've wanted to be for pretty much the whole of my life.
  • momma3sweetgirls
    momma3sweetgirls Posts: 743 Member
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    Small changes as others mentioned.

    Don't deprive yourself of treats; work them into your daily allowance or use as a reward.
  • Jessicaga82
    Jessicaga82 Posts: 33 Member
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    I agree with everyone else maybe you started with too high of expectations. Start out with smaller goals you can achiever for yourself. Something like drink one soda a day then slowly lower it till your not drinking them at all. Don't know if you drink soda but that was just an example. I started out only doing 10 minutes on an elliptical but I idid it everyday till I could add more to my workout. You just have to start where you can and keep at it everyday. Maybe post some positive quotes around if you don't have anyone supporting you to remind yourself of why you are trying to do this. Good luck and just keep at it! :)
  • Anomalia
    Anomalia Posts: 506 Member
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    I have the same issue. Its just like everything else in life, practice makes perfect. You just have to keep trying and you will get better and better everyday.
  • wellbur
    wellbur Posts: 240 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with you..... alot of us are the same. I think logging is an important tool to motivate you, it also scares you at the amount you would normally eat. MFP is a great tool also, chatting to people, looking at other peoples diary to get ideas on what to eat. Add me as a friend and i will help support you.
  • BaconMD
    BaconMD Posts: 1,165 Member
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    Problem is: you are human. You need to become a machine!
  • Init_to_winit
    Init_to_winit Posts: 258 Member
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    I have been thinking the exact same thing. It's like every night when I'm laying down to sleep I think, "tomorrow I will do better, I will work out, I will eat better". Then I just don't do it, I let cravings get in the way, I don't make myself work out, I think, I don't feel like it today. I lay in bed again at night and regret everything, get so mad at myself and tell myself that "tomorrow I will do better, I will work out, I will eat better". And again, I blow it, it's a viscous cycle.

    I know there is not magic way to lose weight, no miracle drug, diet, or exercise routine. I know it's just a mindset and you would think after 5 years of struggling to lose weight I'd find that mindset but I just can't.

    Good luck to you on your journey I hope you find something that works for you!
  • melanieparker13
    melanieparker13 Posts: 110 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with you. We all go through it. Take it one day at a time and don't beat yourself up if you slip....
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    I struggled with the same issue for decades. What helped me escape it was finally realizing that "diet" wasn't the answer. You have to aim to build non-deprivational habits instead. Deprivation just sets off a cascade of physiological and psychological dominoes so you end up fighting a losing battle every time.

    You've got to gradually teach yourself to love real food (fruits, veg, lean meats, fish, nuts, whole grains) and gradually work away from things in a box, packet or tin. When you establish a love affair with real food you start taking a bit more care and time over meals and, oddly, they satiate you more too. I was hungry all the time when I was eating junk, but I can't remember being genuinely hungry at all since I started eating real food, even though I'm eating at least 1500 calories a day less than I used to.

    Another thing is to get out of the mindset of certain foods being 'bad'. Sure there are some that probably should be avoided (trans fats for example) but they really are few and far between. Since I stopped being afraid of eating too many carbs, or fats, my cholesterol and triglycerides have plummetted, and my HDL to LDL ratio has improved greatly. Eat protein, eat fat, eat carbs - your body is designed to deal with them all. The only thing it's not designed to deal with is lab-made or processed stuff.

    So yep, it's about redefining your relationship with food and eating, and finding a routine that is so satisfying to you that you can sustain it for life.
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
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    First of all, forgive yourself. Leave what's been done in the past-- you can't undo it. This is one of the most freeing things I have learned. When you fall off the proverbial wagon, don't berate yourself-- just resolve to do something better going forward.

    And it is true that the light just has to come on. Something has to "click". I'm not sure how to help with that part. :ohwell:
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Problem is: you are human. You need to become a machine!
    I know the machines are going to take over eventually, but you could be a little more subtle.
  • ChanlynMay
    ChanlynMay Posts: 37 Member
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    Thanks for the replies everyone. There is some fantastic advice! I have always been an all or nothing sort of person with high expectations. I think that wrapping my head around the one step at a time and slower loses is the way to go. It does seem like that is when I give in. If I don’t do 100%, then I feel like a failure and let it all go or if I don’t lose 3 pounds a week then I’m not succeeding. When I get home tonight, I am going to try writing out a couple of small goals and start with that.
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
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    Why is it that even though I know just about everything there is to know about eating healthy and losing weight... I just can't seem to do it?? I do great for a few days and then it all goes out the window. I am so frustrated and upset with myself and still can't seem to get it together. Does anyone else have a hard time or is it just me???

    How long have you been dieting?
    I only see about 2 days of logging food.
    Are you truly eating enough to have a sustainable diet?
    Do you eat enough of your macronutrients?
    Do you eat enough for your Height, Weight and Body Fat%?
    Are you sure you are ready for a diet now?

    Have a look at the link on my profile. I can almost guarantee you arent eating the proper amount of food to lose the weight.
  • mentar75
    mentar75 Posts: 5
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    I have to be honest! I think a lot of the issue deals with addictions. Sugar, salt, fat. I once was able to lose over 50# on the Atkins diet, got into the last phase, was eating fruits, whole grains, veggies, then I had a spoon full of Taramisu and it was all over! I woke the demon and watched my scale increase weekly and could NOT stop the weight gain! 162, then 167, then 173 then 180 and on and on till 227!
    I maintained the 160 for 2 years!!! All low carb flour, meals, ect. But the sugar, fat, and salt come back to me with a vengance!

    So, know that these chemicals act on your brain like cocaine with a heroine addict! If we treated these items like coccaine we would not use them, avoid them like the plague
    forever! However, they are everywhere! Fake sugar is also not an option, still feeds the addiction. So, your only options, fight like hell and never give up, do the best you can daily! Don't weigh yourself daily, keep accountable for all your foods placed in the mouth, accept failure, and move on!

    Know your triggers! Hang in there! Tara
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
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    I think a lot of times people try to drop their calories too low or start up enormous exercise routines they can't keep up with. Start small, take baby steps, enjoy the journey- eventually you'll get there!
    What she said - If you're having that much trouble sticking to it, perhaps you set your goals too high for the level of effort you're able to put in at this point. Even a half pound a week is better than nothing if you can do it consistently.

    +1
  • browntracy72
    browntracy72 Posts: 24 Member
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    You are not the only one, it took me a long time to figure out that I had destroyed my metabolism and the only way that I got myself on track was to start with working out then I made small changes. Like breakfast was my first meal I changed and made it a habit to eat a select menu of clean eats, then I moved it to dinners being healthy. and now that I have all three meals that I eat clean and healthy it makes my decisions much easier. I do body rockers and Lisa Marie has the best body ever I look at her and think I want that. I think of that when I make decisions on what I choose to eat. because one day this 40 year old woman is going to be fit and lean. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.
  • dynamicwon
    dynamicwon Posts: 175 Member
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    Dont feel bad its only normal. I really needed to lose weight for health reasons but after my divorce I couldnt do it. Food was and still is my comfort. You have to want this BAD! My twins were having a big sweet 16 party . I finally did it only because that event motivated me to do it. Every time I wanted to binge I thought about how I just had to look better than my ex new girlfriend at that party! Now that I have lost the weight its still a constant battle. You have to get into a routine of eating right and exercising. We all have good days and bad days (i'm up ten pounds right now but back on the wagon). I try to follow a pattern of eating clean at least six days a week when possible and exercising at the gym or even putting on leg weights during house work (it works!) at least four to five days a week!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Small changes... If you always have so much trouble, don't start dieting and exercising the same week. Add things in gradually. Or watch what you eat and start walking. Get used to the ideas and ease yourself in. The longer you can continue, the easier it will be. And remember that overeating doesn't suddenly mean it's all over. So you ate two doughnuts? Get back on track THIS second. Don't wait for tomorrow.

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