Are you....

24

Replies

  • What is this word you speak of? I don't think I've ever experienced it. :/
    I am constantly comparing myself to other wherever I go..friends, family, random strangers on the street. I dont approach guys often, if at all, because I fear rejection and being made fun of...this is pretty much why I'm losing weight.
    I feel like my weight is holding me back from the person I truly am because I'm too worried about eating too much or being judged for whatever I'm doing. :(
  • autumnk921
    autumnk921 Posts: 1,374 Member
    After a few drinks...ABSOLUTELY.


    This...lol
  • mischa_12
    mischa_12 Posts: 126 Member
    I was way more confident when I was 10lbs lighter, I would make an effort with clothes and makeup but now I just wear sweat pants and I don't bother much with make up.
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
    Of course. Look at these abs!!!!

    Okay, but that only explains why L.L. Cool J is confident! :laugh:
    That's LL Cool J?
  • After a few drinks...ABSOLUTELY.

    Lol Love it!
  • AmandaK3
    AmandaK3 Posts: 80
    I've always been confident. Guess I have been lucky. I've always been a "big girl" but I have just always been comfortable in my skin. Not sure if it's genetics, how I was raised, or both.


    This doesn't mean I've never had days when my confidence faulters a bit, on those days I just FAKE it and before I know it I feel good again. Give it a try, maybe ith will work for you!
  • AmandaK3
    AmandaK3 Posts: 80
    I have always been confident in myself. I believe "I got it from my momma" :laugh: She is a strong woman that never took **** from no one, but is never afraid to admit she makes mistakes.

    When I am in awkward situations.... I have a tendency of using humor to deflect from any uncertainties.

    Cheers to momma's that don't take S**T from no one!
  • Nerple
    Nerple Posts: 1,291 Member
    Amazing Self Esteem, but awful Confidence. And I don't know how I managed that.
  • Definitely never used to but gaining a lot of confidence over the last year or so. Wearing a cute and well fitting outfit definitely helps but otherwise just got to fake it and soon enough it'll be real! Had a tough job that involved a lot of knocking on strangers doors and asking for their personal info, really had to just go for it and it helped me get more comfortable with myself.
    Trying new things really helps
  • Tasha_uk
    Tasha_uk Posts: 70
    I have no confidence what so ever. I'm good at faking it though.
  • xtinalovexo
    xtinalovexo Posts: 1,376 Member
    I'm confident when I'm in my element....which never occurs.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    Confident?

    Have you always had great confidence?

    If not.....how did you gain it?

    I honestly really struggle in this area. I have very little self confidence. I'm really working on it. It's so hard though. I'm hoping that through working on my outter self.....it will help a bit on the inside.

    Um, I'm 42 so at the risk of sounding like your mother...

    Confidence comes from acceptance, and knowledge. If you know what you are talking about, you gain confidence.

    As to social confidence - there's nothing more painful than associating with the old peers. It gets right in there. If you ever suffer you lie in bed on a saturday morning or similar and think about it, and cry or whatever you have to - and then after this is done, you find you never suffer that particular experience again. Either you learn a lesson about how to behave, or else you just realise it's not worth worrying about.

    If you don't do this reasonably regularly you can end up with a terrible backlog. And then you can start blocking how you feel... and becoming an insensitive person who hurts others without really caring about it. Best not to become that person so you just have to do the time and feel the emotional pain and understand that it's finite, and it goes away. You hit a point where it's all done and there's no more.

    :)

    PS: drinking is a killer. The morning after you always feel like the ultimate social fail who committed some massive crime - everyone else feels like that too. Nobody remembers you, they're all dying of shame remembering themselves as well. :D So no need to sweat it really.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    Oh and also: you will feel far more relaxed and confident if you realise that everyone else is just like you inside, than you will by kidding yourself that you are 'special' and fantastic and all that crap.

    Those people are not worth knowing because they're egocentric and sort of switched out. But the vast majority of people are just like you, suffer just like you, die inside regularly just like you, and could do with a little kindness.

    If I would say anything, I'd say access the kindness inside you. Don't assume people not smiling or not waving or nto saying hi is anything at all about you - it's generally about them. Either their immaturity, or blindness, or being overtaken by their own problems, being in another world, not having social skills.... A lot of young people have zero social skills for making others feel at home. Associate with people who do have skills, who do have manners, who are kind and good natured and not looking constantly to find fault. This is the best advice I can give really - better than that above, although they're kind of two halves of teh same thing.
  • Ripken818836701
    Ripken818836701 Posts: 607 Member
    I never used to be so would fake it and now it's real.
    Exactly the answer I was going to give!!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    i figure people either like me or they dont. if they do great, if they dont then there are plenty others who do.
    i'm also OK doing something in public i might not be good at, as long as i'm having fun then that's all that matters. and if i fail at something i never let it get me down for too long because i can think back to all the awesome things i've done and succeeded in from the past and i'll use that to motivate me to try again.

    so yeah, i guess i am pretty confident. always have been.
  • Ripken818836701
    Ripken818836701 Posts: 607 Member
    Of course. Look at these abs!!!!

    Okay, but that only explains why L.L. Cool J is confident! :laugh:

    Never heard of him. Is he one of those basketball players or something?
    Dude you dont know who LL. is?? Here is a link to one of the best jaunts ever
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O53yqG0KgmQ
  • Musikelektronik
    Musikelektronik Posts: 739 Member
    Of course. Look at these abs!!!!

    Okay, but that only explains why L.L. Cool J is confident! :laugh:

    Never heard of him. Is he one of those basketball players or something?
    Dude you dont know who LL. is?? Here is a link to one of the best jaunts ever
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O53yqG0KgmQ

    I think he's having a little fun with us. I mean, isn't that LL in his profile pic?
  • Musikelektronik
    Musikelektronik Posts: 739 Member
    Of course. Look at these abs!!!!

    Okay, but that only explains why L.L. Cool J is confident! :laugh:
    That's LL Cool J?

    Yep. This pic is from a news article about him. See the tattoo on his right arm? It's the same as MFPAddict's profile pic. It's him:

    LL.jpg

    And here's MFPAddict's profile pic, which I also found on the Internet by doing a Google image search for LL Cool J:

    ll-cool-j-ll-cool-j-2574285-400-400.jpg
  • runnercheryl
    runnercheryl Posts: 1,314 Member
    I have been very self-confident for about six years.

    I went through a very difficult childhood and I had no confidence at all. I believed from the ages of 6 to 18 that I was hated by all, and a completely worthless waste of space.

    I knew my good traits - I'm incredibly loyal, generous, friendly, caring. I do everything I can to improve the lives of other people and to make others happy, and I'm one of the most hard-working and committed, honest people you'll meet, but as much as I recognised those traits I was in a bad place and saw that none of them were valued in any way. I truly was hated.

    I had the chance to completely change my life just before I turned 19, when I went to university. I learned then that I was 'a cut above the rest' personality-wise. Few people are on a par with me for personality, and I genuinely believe that and have been told it hundreds of times by other people throughout my adult life. I know it sounds arrogant, but that's not supposed to be the case at all - it's the realisation that in spite of (and probably because of) my difficult childhood, I have come out as a pretty amazing person.

    On the other hand, physical confidence has taken a different route. At the same time as my self-confidence and happiness rocketed, so did my weight. I was happy being obese, but I wouldn't say I was aware of it being a factor in my confidence. I didn't go around hating the way I looked - I just didn't think about it as a factor in how I felt about myself. Only when I started living healthy did I start to see how much I disliked my body, and how it must have looked to other people.

    It's taken almost 18 months, and my confidence in my physical form has only come about in the past week or two, and only because I've started running and have enjoyed every second of it. I couldn't run as a kid (severe asthma), so I guess it's a combination of doing and loving something I never believed I would/could, and just knowing that I've got the eating and the exercise down and now NEITHER feel like as much of a chore. Until I started running at the start of March, I was doing very well with my health but felt depressed each day at the thought of going out and exercising.

    I think confidence comes with looking at yourself and finding the things that make you a happy person. If you're happy with who you are, confidence will follow. If you're not, change it.
  • MisterTEZ
    MisterTEZ Posts: 272 Member
    I'm confident I will lose my weight with the help and support of all you guys
  • I lke that,, self respect is really important and maybe you need that before you can be self confident?
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Confident?

    yes
    Have you always had great confidence?

    no
    If not.....how did you gain it?

    setting myself goals and surpassing them, accepting myself, conscious effort, application and work, visualisation techniques, affirmations, NLP, the Socratic Method...
    I honestly really struggle in this area. I have very little self confidence. I'm really working on it. It's so hard though. I'm hoping that through working on my outter self.....it will help a bit on the inside.

    Sometimes it works that way - a person loses the weight, looks all fly and their self confidence just seems to slot into place. I hope that it works out that way for you. However, I've seen countless examples on this board alone where the disconnect still remains even after slimming down.

    I think working on your mind at the same time as working on your body is a good idea. It never hurts to have a strong finishing position.
  • LesliePierceRN
    LesliePierceRN Posts: 860 Member
    I am very confident. People remark on it. I've never (to my knowledge) been called arrogant though.
    I haven't always been this way. I used to be timid and afraid of everything. One day, I just snapped. I decided that I was sick and tired of being afraid. It was like I woke up. Things are sooo much easier for me now since I've dispelled the fear. There's no use for it. I am a very aggressive and focused person, I attack everything head on and very quickly. And the more things I did confidently, the easier it became to do everything confidently. It's in my every movement. I walk with my head held high and my shoulders back. My stride is quick and light. Without thinking about it, I even look confident just walking down the sidewalk. And the best way to get there? Fake it till you feel it. It will become natural.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    In my job and around friends yes,around ladies not so much but improving a lot.
    You can teach an old dog new tricks.:smokin:
  • I'm confident that I'm great at making a total and complete fool of myself.
  • Carnivorekat
    Carnivorekat Posts: 370 Member
    confidence comes from accepting yourself as you are it doesn't matter if you are big or small - as long as you know your abilities and accept them you will become confident.

    It is also wise not to listen to what others say about you - only you know your true self
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member

    I think he's having a little fun with us. I mean, isn't that LL in his profile pic?

    :tongue:
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,148 Member
    Nope and nope.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    I used to have negative confidence. Now I'd say I'm a 3 or a 4/10
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I certainly was before I lost a justin beiber size chunk of myself.