Are you....

I'm confident when I'm in my element....which never occurs.

Oh and also: you will feel far more relaxed and confident if you realise that everyone else is just like you inside, than you will by kidding yourself that you are 'special' and fantastic and all that crap.

Those people are not worth knowing because they're egocentric and sort of switched out. But the vast majority of people are just like you, suffer just like you, die inside regularly just like you, and could do with a little kindness.

If I would say anything, I'd say access the kindness inside you. Don't assume people not smiling or not waving or nto saying hi is anything at all about you - it's generally about them. Either their immaturity, or blindness, or being overtaken by their own problems, being in another world, not having social skills.... A lot of young people have zero social skills for making others feel at home. Associate with people who do have skills, who do have manners, who are kind and good natured and not looking constantly to find fault. This is the best advice I can give really - better than that above, although they're kind of two halves of teh same thing.

i figure people either like me or they dont. if they do great, if they dont then there are plenty others who do.
i'm also OK doing something in public i might not be good at, as long as i'm having fun then that's all that matters. and if i fail at something i never let it get me down for too long because i can think back to all the awesome things i've done and succeeded in from the past and i'll use that to motivate me to try again.

so yeah, i guess i am pretty confident. always have been.

Of course. Look at these abs!!!!

Okay, but that only explains why L.L. Cool J is confident! :laugh:

Never heard of him. Is he one of those basketball players or something?

Dude you dont know who LL. is?? Here is a link to one of the best jaunts ever
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O53yqG0KgmQ

I think he's having a little fun with us. I mean, isn't that LL in his profile pic?

I have been very self-confident for about six years.

I went through a very difficult childhood and I had no confidence at all. I believed from the ages of 6 to 18 that I was hated by all, and a completely worthless waste of space.

I knew my good traits - I'm incredibly loyal, generous, friendly, caring. I do everything I can to improve the lives of other people and to make others happy, and I'm one of the most hard-working and committed, honest people you'll meet, but as much as I recognised those traits I was in a bad place and saw that none of them were valued in any way. I truly was hated.

I had the chance to completely change my life just before I turned 19, when I went to university. I learned then that I was 'a cut above the rest' personality-wise. Few people are on a par with me for personality, and I genuinely believe that and have been told it hundreds of times by other people throughout my adult life. I know it sounds arrogant, but that's not supposed to be the case at all - it's the realisation that in spite of (and probably because of) my difficult childhood, I have come out as a pretty amazing person.

On the other hand, physical confidence has taken a different route. At the same time as my self-confidence and happiness rocketed, so did my weight. I was happy being obese, but I wouldn't say I was aware of it being a factor in my confidence. I didn't go around hating the way I looked - I just didn't think about it as a factor in how I felt about myself. Only when I started living healthy did I start to see how much I disliked my body, and how it must have looked to other people.

It's taken almost 18 months, and my confidence in my physical form has only come about in the past week or two, and only because I've started running and have enjoyed every second of it. I couldn't run as a kid (severe asthma), so I guess it's a combination of doing and loving something I never believed I would/could, and just knowing that I've got the eating and the exercise down and now NEITHER feel like as much of a chore. Until I started running at the start of March, I was doing very well with my health but felt depressed each day at the thought of going out and exercising.

I think confidence comes with looking at yourself and finding the things that make you a happy person. If you're happy with who you are, confidence will follow. If you're not, change it.

I lke that,, self respect is really important and maybe you need that before you can be self confident?

I am very confident. People remark on it. I've never (to my knowledge) been called arrogant though.
I haven't always been this way. I used to be timid and afraid of everything. One day, I just snapped. I decided that I was sick and tired of being afraid. It was like I woke up. Things are sooo much easier for me now since I've dispelled the fear. There's no use for it. I am a very aggressive and focused person, I attack everything head on and very quickly. And the more things I did confidently, the easier it became to do everything confidently. It's in my every movement. I walk with my head held high and my shoulders back. My stride is quick and light. Without thinking about it, I even look confident just walking down the sidewalk. And the best way to get there? Fake it till you feel it. It will become natural.

I'm confident that I'm great at making a total and complete fool of myself.

I think he's having a little fun with us. I mean, isn't that LL in his profile pic?

I used to have negative confidence. Now I'd say I'm a 3 or a 4/10