why do women tend to reject guys going in the militar

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  • THINandFABULOUS
    THINandFABULOUS Posts: 170
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    Because of the uncertainty... In my opinion. I don't like being alone, I can't do long distance relationships, and if I were to be in a relationship with a military man (not going to happen) I'd be so worried he was cheating or whatever. It's the rep military guys get.

    Goes both ways. It's not always the soldier that does the cheating. Besides, that a personal matter for you to sort out, if you already expect the guy will cheat.
    I agree. A relationship is a two way street. Women are just as capable of cheating.
  • LittleMissNerdy
    LittleMissNerdy Posts: 792 Member
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    I wouldn't say I'd never date someone who's being shipped off but it's a tough choice for both parties. I think you have to be a very strong person to be able to handle that type of relationship. IMO, at least she's being honest about it instead of saying "yes" and then being either unhappy or running around on you.
  • andreanicole686
    andreanicole686 Posts: 406 Member
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    for every needy girl that can't stand the thought of being alone, there is a line of military groupies who love a man in uniform.
    Exactly. Last boyfriend I dated he was in the Army the whole time we dated. Didn't break up because of it. When he was overseas it was extremely stressful. It takes a strong woman to date a guy in the military vice versa.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    for every needy girl that can't stand the thought of being alone, there is a line of military groupies who love a man in uniform.

    LOL YUP.
    Its not easy being in a relationship with someone that won't be around constantly or that is able to have a "normal" relationship. Being a FD girl, I know it isn't the same as the military wives, but it sure is hard...
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    a rep that wont go for all men

    If you would like my opinion dear I will be more than happy to give it to you. As you know I am active duty and married to active duty and I was once married to another active duty military. I do agree with you that NOT all men are what the reps are but honestly they are far and few in between.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I'm a pacifist.
  • _GlaDOS_
    _GlaDOS_ Posts: 1,520 Member
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    I tend to think there are plenty of women out there who will date someone in the military or planning on joining the military. I know plenty of women who have and would do it.

    That said, I am not one of them. We all have things on our “dealbreaker” list. Being in the military or planning to join just happens to be on mine. Growing up in a military family I know that isn’t the kind of life I want for myself or for my children. It’s a personal preference, that’s all. I also won’t date a republican, a Christian, or someone who smokes. Preference.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    It's a life decision to be a military spouse. You never know where you're going to end up next (to some extent), when they're on tour you don't see them for years at a time (God forbid, if at all again) depending on where they're going and what happens there. You're pretty much making the decision to be married and single all at the same time, and then if you have kids you're making the decision to be married and a single parent all at the same time.

    It never stopped me for dating guys in the military, but I understand the hesitation.

    This. I just know that personally I can't commit to that lifestyle. It's just not the life I want for myself. I have absolutely nothing but respect for our servicemen and women (ok, the majority of them), and I have many friends who are military wives (there is are 2 military bases nearby), but for me I just couldn't do it. I have my own career and don't want to live every day knowing that I might have to pack up and move every couple years or whatever. I don't want to move my child around from city to city, and I have my own life here. There's nothing wrong or better with either choice, it's just not for me, so dating a man in the military is just not really an option for me.
  • sammi402
    sammi402 Posts: 232 Member
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    Some people weren't cut out to be military spouses. Other people were raised for it. I spent my whole life preparing to be a military wife (both my parents and most of my aunts/uncles, and half my cousins are military) or be in the military myself. Neither happened, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I do LOVE soldiers!! :D

    The right person will come along. And with a job that hard, you don't want to be stuck with the wrong person.
  • LeslieMDoyle
    LeslieMDoyle Posts: 162 Member
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    I was active duty for 6 1/2 years, was married to an airman, and dated airmen after I divorced. Loved those years. If given the chance, I'd definitely date a military man again.
  • ♥ChUbByCoyLe♥
    ♥ChUbByCoyLe♥ Posts: 267 Member
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    My hubby was in the military and i worried every day about losing him, losing the close bond we have and the chance of him cheating or leaving me.

    He injured his knee during training and got medically discharged. I was soooooooooooooooo happy!! (not about the injury)

    Luckily, his knee is fine and he works close to home and i get to see him every day.

    He still misses the army and talks about going back when his knee is fully recovered but i don't think i could cope with that again.

    I believe (personally) that a military life is for single men.
  • Nicktemt
    Nicktemt Posts: 35
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    Some of the responses in this thread are disheartening. I'm away for weeks at a time. Thankfully it hasn't been a full year, yet. But the relationship I have with my fiancee is amazing. I trust her with all my heart, and she trusts me. There is always that fear of never coming back, but she knew that coming in to the relationship. It's more hard for me now, knowing that I have a baby on the way. We make it work. Not everyone is cut out to be a "Military Spouse." But the ones that are, are very very strong individuals.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    for every needy girl that can't stand the thought of being alone, there is a line of military groupies who love a man in uniform.

    Yes, all of us who would not date a man in the military are needy and can't stand the thought of being alone. Right.
  • katemme
    katemme Posts: 191
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    going INTO the military and a guy being already in the military are 2 different things. i think girls think of boot camp and tech school as being away for ever, when really its like ~6 months. a lot of times usually either party will break it off because it is too much time apart.

    then once they are already in, they will attract the tag chasers and such (girls who like military guys for the benefits they get etc). and then they get married quickly, because that is the military culture, and the wife goes on to become an annoying martyr/military wife. usually.

    i was a military spouse, i met him while we were both in the air force. my boyfriend i had before entering the military broke up with me because he thought it'd be too long and he couldn't handle it. he was a *kitten* anyway.

    and plus when you leave, you don't know where you'll be stationed (unless you are guard or reserve) and they can't come with you unless they choose to or if you get married.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    It takes a very secure, mature, trusting woman to date a military man. It is a lifestyle that not many are cut out for. Better to weed out the losers who cant hack it then find out shes doing some Jody while you are away.

    I have dated military and I have friends who are military - I am proud of all of you that serve and protect, with that being said THANK YOU! (and just wait until you find a woman who truly deserves you and all you are striving to achieve)
  • katemme
    katemme Posts: 191
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    for every needy girl that can't stand the thought of being alone, there is a line of military groupies who love a man in uniform.

    Yes, all of us who would not date a man in the military are needy and can't stand the thought of being alone. Right.


    they are called tag chasers, and they are still a needy group of women!
  • Annie_Oakley
    Annie_Oakley Posts: 73
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    Apparently, you've met the wrong woman...the right one is out there - fit just for you - and any military career you may find yourself in. Don't rush into a relationship though (ok so i sound like a mama....i AM) - I personally find the military an EXCELLENT choice (and a very attractive quality)- but that comes from my own personal experience. Half of my sons have intentions of being in the military - and I couldn't be more proud. Don't rush to find someone who will accept you and your military decision...anyone that has an issue with it isn't worth your heartache.
  • Sepheara
    Sepheara Posts: 208 Member
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    My husband is prior military. his best friend is still in. After seeing his friends wife ( a friend of mine) go crazy with worry listening to explosions in the background while on the phone with him, reading e-mails about how there were snakes in their living area, having him come home with some form of PTSD (can't do loud noises, can't do fireworks, has to febreeze everything, skin breaks out in a mad rash at any type of scenery similar to his deployment zone, etc), and having to move around and try to find a new job all the time because he's been reassigned, I'm pretty sure I can understand why some woman wouldn't want that.

    However, they make it work wonderfully, and in a few years he'll be out and then I'm sure things will be a lot better.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    Rather than question why "women reject military guys" perhaps you should ask what kind of women you're attracted to. Needy, clingy, insecure women are not going to be able to handle it. Women who refuse to move away from their moms/family/friends aren't going to be able to handle it. Women who are strong, independent, and know that their mom/family/friends are only a phone call or Skype away are better suited to deal with the military lifestyle. Ditto women who instead of fretting over every little things, tend to just roll with the punches.

    Guess I can't refer to myself as strong and independent anymore :(
  • greeneyedredneckangel
    greeneyedredneckangel Posts: 79 Member
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    i am sorry that is just an excuse every male or female serving our country deserves someone to be there for them mentally emotionally an physically they need some one when they come home a woman that uses that excuse to me is a weak woman and a soldier does not need a weak woman Keep ur head up you will find a strong woman who will stand beside you even if it is half around the world this comes from me who has 4 very good friends that are like brothers that are spread all over in the service and they have strong women beside them keep your head up
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