why do women tend to reject guys going in the militar

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  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    My husband was in the M.C. for the first four years we were together, so clearly I'm not in the category of women you are speaking about. Nonetheless, I can say that it isn't easy being with someone who gets moved around, is gone for weeks (exercises) or months (deployments) at a time. Plus all the B.S., like finding out whether you get to see family at Christmas a week before Christmas, because leave requests weren't granted in a reasonable period of time, etc..

    I will say, if a woman thinks she can't deal with it, she probably can't, so you're better off not going there in the first place.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    for every needy girl that can't stand the thought of being alone, there is a line of military groupies who love a man in uniform.

    Yes, all of us who would not date a man in the military are needy and can't stand the thought of being alone. Right.

    yeah i kind of got a little offended too...
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
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    Indeed! "needy, clingy, weak, insecure" - hmmm, I wonder what people who are in the military/married to someone in the military think of civilians.

    From personal experience, it's the opposite. Military men are USUALLY with needy, clingy, weak, insecure women.

    Hmm...I am a military wife and have NEVER been considered any of those things. And I don't know any military wives that are. I usually don't take these posts to heart because, well, it's a forum full of people I don't know, so why waste the energy? But this comment pisses me off. I know "USUALLY" doesn't mean "ALL"... but USUALLY it takes a very strong woman to deal with being left behind and taking care of everything back home. Whether they have children or not. It's a lot to put on one person's shoulders. And on top of it all, you will go for an unknown amount of time without hearing from your SO. Not knowing if they are alive, in some cases. Dealing with that is just not possible for some people.

    I was with my now husband before he joined the Navy. So when he made the decision to join, it was difficult, but it was his life. I wanted him to do what he needed to do. We did the long distance thing for about 2 years, only seeing eachother 4 times in those 2 years. Than we got married, and he had to leave again 3 days after our wedding. We didn't see eachother again until 8 months later.

    This is not an easy life, but the alternative is not having him at all. I'm not saying that women who don't go for military men are weak, not at all. But being weak IS NOT an option for a military SO. Not if you're going to be with a military person for the long haul.

    My 2 cents...
  • HollyAus
    HollyAus Posts: 251 Member
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    Well like most of the people on here I have to agre that the "sterotype" soilder is a partier/cheater. I for one think that comes from Hollywood and the movies and "reality" shows that are on TV. And DO NOT think it's true FYI! Men and women will cheat and being in the military has nothing to do with it. Either a person believes in staying faithful to a spouse or girl/boyfriend or they don't. That's it.
    As for the ladies that don't want to be away from you... well I can understand that. The longest I have not seen my husband is a week, but we talked onthe phone everyday.
    However, my husband was considering going into the airforce at one time and I was behind him 100% It's not just you that is "joining" the military but your family aswell. So if there is a girl that can't commit to that then it's not going to work.
    Another thing is a "girlfriend" wont stay. The ONE who does... She should be something special, because even being seperated by miles doesn't do anything to make her leave. Don't worry about it too much. There are women out there that aren't bothered by you being in the military. Someone will love you for you and know that being a soldier is a big part of you and love you still.

    And by the way: THANKY YOU for serving me and my family and everyone. Thank you so much! God Bless you! :)
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    My husband was in the M.C. for the first four years we were together, so clearly I'm not in the category of women you are speaking about. Nonetheless, I can say that it isn't easy being with someone who gets moved around, is gone for weeks (exercises) or months (deployments) at a time. Plus all the B.S., like finding out whether you get to see family at Christmas a week before Christmas, because leave requests weren't granted in a reasonable period of time, etc..

    I will say, if a woman thinks she can't deal with it, she probably can't, so you're better off not going there in the first place.

    This.
    It isn't a character flaw in a man OR woman if they choose not to date a member of the military.
    It isn't always easy, but there are some amazing experiences that few outside the military get to experience.
    Having been married to the military and having had close friends and my family overseas fighting in wars? Nope, not easy. In fact, damn ****ing scary.
    A woman/man is NOT WEAK or CLINGY for choosing to save themselves from this, although I would not skip past a wonderful person because of their choice to serve their country.
  • Laura80111
    Laura80111 Posts: 958 Member
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    Well let's see....I have three sons that went into the military in a six month period in 2002

    #1 Son had lots of female friends but no ONE special one. He felt like he didn't want to have someone at home waiting for him, he'd rather play the field. But during his last year in he met THE ONE and they carried on their courtship long distance through emails , phone calls and IM's during his final deployment and when he returned he proposed on the parade field. They have a very solid relationship because they were talking all the time.

    #2 Son married his high school sweetie when he was home on his Christmas Exodus in the middle of his Basic Training. They were stationed in Belgium with NATO for several years and now he is in the Reserves...and 2.5 kiddos later....they love their military lifestyle.

    #3 Son met his wife during his being stationed in Alabama and they got married the year after he got out, they are now living near us in Colorado.

    Not all females are cut out to be military women...my sons did observe many of their friends that had less than good experiences...even being served divorce papers while deployed...so to you I would say...have patience and one day you will meet the right one.:flowerforyou:
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    Indeed! "needy, clingy, weak, insecure" - hmmm, I wonder what people who are in the military/married to someone in the military think of civilians.

    From personal experience, it's the opposite. Military men are USUALLY with needy, clingy, weak, insecure women.

    Hmm...I am a military wife and have NEVER been considered any of those things. And I don't know any military wives that are. I usually don't take these posts to heart because, well, it's a forum full of people I don't know, so why waste the energy? But this comment pisses me off. I know "USUALLY" doesn't mean "ALL"... but USUALLY it takes a very strong woman to deal with being left behind and taking care of everything back home. Whether they have children or not. It's a lot to put on one person's shoulders. And on top of it all, you will go for an unknown amount of time without hearing from your SO. Not knowing if they are alive, in some cases. Dealing with that is just not possible for some people.

    I was with my now husband before he joined the Navy. So when he made the decision to join, it was difficult, but it was his life. I wanted him to do what he needed to do. We did the long distance thing for about 2 years, only seeing eachother 4 times in those 2 years. Than we got married, and he had to leave again 3 days after our wedding. We didn't see eachother again until 8 months later.

    This is not an easy life, but the alternative is not having him at all. I'm not saying that women who don't go for military men are weak, not at all. But being weak IS NOT an option for a military SO. Not if you're going to be with a military person for the long haul.

    My 2 cents...

    we will just have to agree to disagree... Military wives I know just stay home, yes, you have to pay the bills, keep the house clean, blah blah blah, but it's not hard to be a SAHM. I've done it.

    I understand the having to wait for someone also. Not hearing from them or whatever. My ex husband had a job where he was gone ALL the time. Granted I could call and text him, but he was away from home. He cheated.

    When I said USUALLY I meant the people I know. And you're right, usually does not mean all. No need to get pissed off.
  • amymrls
    amymrls Posts: 1,673 Member
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    I just don't date guys.

    Don't lie....

    ...but this one time...at band camp...
    bwahahaa
  • cushygal
    cushygal Posts: 586 Member
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    I would def date a man in the military. While it would be difficult esp when they leave for a tour, but just imagine how great it is when they return home.
  • GoldspursX3
    GoldspursX3 Posts: 516 Member
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    i don't get it our we not allowed to be in a relationship
    answer i get i don't wanna be left alone or not knowing if your ever coming back
    don't get me wrong its tough i think but still
    whats your opinion ladies?

    Not true bro....just have to find the right one. Been in the Army 11 years last month (joined at 17) and have never had a problem. I am engaged to an awesome girl, who I will marry on May 18th, and she knows exactly what she is getting into.
  • GoldspursX3
    GoldspursX3 Posts: 516 Member
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    Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people.

    reported:drinker:
  • suziblues2000
    suziblues2000 Posts: 515 Member
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    "Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people."

    My son is in the army. He would not think of "killing kids". He would rather give his own life than kill an innocent. You FOOL. I can't STAND people like you who hear something bad about a group and then throw all into it. It's really a prejudice act on your part. fool.
  • greeneyedredneckangel
    greeneyedredneckangel Posts: 79 Member
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    Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people.

    reported:drinker:


    thankyou for reporting
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people.

    reported:drinker:

    WOOT!!!
  • greeneyedredneckangel
    greeneyedredneckangel Posts: 79 Member
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    "Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people."

    My son is in the army. He would not think of "killing kids". He would rather give his own life than kill an innocent. You FOOL. I can't STAND people like you who hear something bad about a group and then throw all into it. It's really a prejudice act on your part. fool.

    amen
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    my husband is an Airborne Ranger in the Army. Some women are to selfish, needy, clingy, jealous, and well, just aren't woman enough to handle being in a relationship or being married to a soldier....


    wow! REALLY? My man is gone 9 days in 5 days out, and while he's "in" i take care of HIS 9 year old child that has a brain injury because his mother was a closet junky...now you tell me that I'm not WOMAN enough to handle being married to a soldier! Seriously lady i'm sure your husband is happy when he's deployed so he doesn't have to sit and listen to you!
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    my husband is an Airborne Ranger in the Army. Some women are to selfish, needy, clingy, jealous, and well, just aren't woman enough to handle being in a relationship or being married to a soldier....


    wow! REALLY? My man is gone 9 days in 5 days out, and while he's "in" i take care of HIS 9 year old child that has a brain injury because his mother was a closet junky...now you tell me that I'm not WOMAN enough to handle being married to a soldier! Seriously lady i'm sure your husband is happy when he's deployed so he doesn't have to sit and listen to you!


    :drinker:
  • Mmmary212
    Mmmary212 Posts: 410 Member
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    It would be a dream to have a spouse gone periodically throughout the months, years, whatever. As long as he's bringing home some income....I'd welcome a spouse in the military or any other "away from home job" I like my space. Ok, I dont like it, I LOVE IT! ha
  • LilRedRooster
    LilRedRooster Posts: 1,421 Member
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    I don't dig the armed forces. Just don't, my preference.
  • MrsMrtz
    MrsMrtz Posts: 73
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    I said the same to my husband back-then boyfriend. He was in the Marines and when we first started dating I just didn't want to put such an emotional investment on someone that might get deployed, someone that might love the military more, or someone that might never come back from war. Nonetheless, I did give him a chance and invested every emotion I could (teehee). We dated 2 years before he was deployed and him being far on dangerous grounds was HOOOOOORRRRRIBLE for me .. So I'm sure that the ladies that reject having a relationship with a military guy have their reasons but you'll also find some that are willing to give the relationship a chance regardless.
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