What is up with my husband???
Replies
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I tell you what is NOT a good idea...don't burst into tears right as he's falling asleep and ask him why he doesn't love you anymore and if you are a hideous cow. Just...trust me. No good will come of it.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
So true, lol.0 -
Yeah, it is. You don't see the point in looking nice for him because he's not important enough.
That's not what I meant.
Ouch, you just called your husband "no one".I don't feel the need to put make up on and get dolled up when no one is gonna see me.0 -
My fiance was the same way. I used to feel really frustrated like it was something about me, and I talked to one of my close married friends about it. Like many people have already said on here, the advice she gave me was COMMUNICATION. She was totally right. We talked about things and got everything out in the open. He had issues and things he was dealing with that I had no idea about. I think many times as ladies, we take this sort of thing so personally, when very rarely is it about us. I would sit down with him, and really talk about things. Good luck!0
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also....i see that many people are chalking up their lack of interest to stress. if you change the way you view sex then perhaps if wont be put on the side burner any longer. i think of sex as the best for of stress relief...way cheaper and more fun then a day at the spa....and now that i see it that way there are very few reasons why i would ever pass it up. oh and LADIES! the headache excuse can no longer be used....there is medical reports that say that the release of endorphines related to sex can actually RELIEVE a headache! oh believe me i can find plenty of excuses TO do it....and very few reasons no to! lol0
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Wife’s Journal
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's journal
Jeep won’t start…can’t figure out why.
LOL YES THIS0 -
When he says, "I've been wanting to do that for days" I always say, "Then why don't you do anything about it?"
Then he says, this is an exact quote, "I try."
Me and my husband just 'fixed' this problem. The reason my husband wasn't starting anything is because he said he was always the started and wanted to see if I was into him and therefore left it up to me to make the move. If i didn't make the move then nothing happened. In their minds they are tired and want to feel wanted. In our minds we want to feel wanted. Talk about it and both agree to do things to turn each other on and get in the mood. It help our relationship a lot. Also - on the weight. My husband told me that for a while he didn't say much about how good I looked because he was afraid I would get comfortable and stop and he knew I'd be happier the smaller I got. Its a **** move but we talked about that and I explained the more tells me how great I look the more I want to hit the gym. Sit down and have a heart to heart. Guys aren't perfect.0 -
To be totally honest lady, my husband is the same way - and has been the same way since we first met 6 years ago. I think its a Marine thing. Sometimes they're hot, sometimes they're cold. They have a lot on their minds a lot of the time, so try not to take offence.
When it comes down to a boiling point though, I normally just have to be extra aggressive to get his mind to come back down to earth.
My husband is like that also, and was in the Marines, and now the army! He's been to Iraq 4 times, and normally has a lot on his mind, so i just have to be patient with him... he always comes around!0 -
I feel its perfectly normal..
happens with me as well.. but what I have learned is you should never compare yourself with a guy
a girl can NEVER EVER understand a guy's mind
Do not worry about this much there is no harm if you start it or he starts he it should not matter
what matters is that he is interested in doing it when it gets started..
guys are like that.. they easily take woman in their lives for granted.. ignore it
be happy and keep the fire on between you two.. do exciting things and try something different to keep him interested.0 -
Like someone else said, talk to him, not us.0
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When he says, "I've been wanting to do that for days" I always say, "Then why don't you do anything about it?"
Then he says, this is an exact quote, "I try."
IMO If he says he tries and you think he is not trying then it might be time for a talk, not an in his face, "Why don't you want me?!" talk but a "Baby you know I love it when you..." so he knows. Guys sometimes need to be told exactly what to do. It's like that in lots of things. Sometimes they need you to draw them a picture and tell them what you need from them, if it is cleaning the house, helping with the kids, initiating sex, making sex great and not just alright.0 -
Oh yes the man ques....some days I will try to ravish my hubby and he just won't be in the mood...usually he is stressing about something. There are other times he will tell me later I tried to get your attention, I ask him how and he says things like "when I grabbed your butt while you were cooking dinner" LOL or "I was giving you the LOOK"...I think we miss the little things! We have actually gotten to the point where we plan it, I know it sounds rediculous but with 3 kids and a busy life, you get caught up in those things. There are the moments when it "spur of the moment"...when I get why he's fondling me as Im cooking...stove goes off for a few minutes and we sneak away to the basement LOL.
Maybe you could plan a romantic night...or I find snuggling together on the couch can lead to great happenings!! Talk about for sure though!
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Sometimes guys like to feel wanted too and for the girl to start it. Its the chase or the excitement. Every now and then you have to shock him or switch the routine. Sometimes you start or sometimes he does.
THIS!!!0 -
I say kink it up and put on a sexy outfit! I work but will make the effort to look extra special and usually he will do the chasing for a good few days after.0
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Save for later0
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Wife’s Journal
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's journal
Jeep won’t start…can’t figure out why.
TRUE STORY!!! rawrrrr lmfao0 -
Grin we have been married over 35 years and still trying to communicate when, how the game of she want to, I want to works?
I have to try release of endorphines related to sex can actually RELIEVE a headache! grin!!!!
She is my best friend and I will be with her forever, communication and giving is the way it works.
Cheers
Jim0 -
So now I want to have sex and she just left for work...thanks a lot!0
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Guys need DIRECT instructions - they really do. They are simple creatures. TELL HIM. I guarantee he has no clue something like this would even bother you, or is right now.
We ARE simple creatures.. Instructions are always helpful. . We have to navigate a LOT of mixed signals and we usually get it all wrong. ..You women are very moody and also very practiced at not letting your moods show. That means our only option is to take a shot in the dark and hope we hit pay dirt! Not only that, but you also seem to carry around this fantasy seduction in your head. . If we get it wrong. .it's ALL wrong (FAIL). .And we almost never get it right because we can't read your minds (well, I can. . but I'm awesome). .
When a guy comes on to a woman (even his own wife) and gets shot down, it can be a blow to the ego. . If it happens repeatedly. . he might just quit trying. .
Oh. and I hate to be the one to say this. . But everybody is thinking it. . He MIGHT be cheating on you
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Please forgive me if this seems a little harsh. First off, you need to sit down and talk, 21 is a young marriage age and it's not like it was 50 yrs ago, especially for those in the Mil. Secondly, do the makeup thing (YES, it does make a difference); Third, he's a Marine, get him to work-out with you, run with him, get him interested in your day to day and you get interested in his. And, finally, if he is like many 21 year old Marines, especially in North Click, get him away from the bars and lonely's out there. Trust me, I know that if the bar scene was bad for couples 20 years ago, it's terrible now since the war and all thos guys being deployed.0
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If he doesn't seem interested, make him interested!!!
Put on some sexy clothes, a little bit of make-up and MAKE A MOVE! Pretend like you're a world class p0rn star, even if you don't look like one. Take some initiative in the bedroom and he will notice.0 -
Wife’s Journal
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's journal
Jeep won’t start…can’t figure out why.
TRUE STORY!!! rawrrrr lmfao
That about SUMS it up!!!0 -
I would say approach the subject...but ladies as my pastor has always said...the same things we did to get them is the same things we should do to keep them. So if you were cute etc...when you dated then it's nice to still make him feel like he's worth getting dolled up for. smile:0
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Or take them off...lingerie never seems to stay on my body for more than a few seconds...If he doesn't seem interested, make him interested!!!
Put on some sexy clothes0 -
Wife’s Journal
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's journal
Jeep won’t start…can’t figure out why.
i love this!0 -
Wife’s Journal
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's journal
Jeep won’t start…can’t figure out why.
TRUE STORY!!! rawrrrr lmfao
That about SUMS it up!!!
TOO FUNNY but Men are simple0 -
As illustrated by the story about the husband and wife and the jeep, men are very one dimensional. We don't look at and read into everything the way you ladies do. Not saying that's a bad thing, just we are made differently. Also as has been noted on here several times, communication is KEY!!!!
Your husband and your relationship with him is the focus. My wife and I have been married for 10 years this June. There have been periods of staleness, just as there are in anything else. As long as you stay committed to each other and trying to meet each other's needs everything will be okay. Pick up a book called "Love and Respect." It's by Emerson Eggerichs, a psychologist, and talks about how men and women's brains respond and react to one another differently.
Long story, short. I understand that women are relational, and being a military wife and possibly away from all your friends and family is difficult, but using MPF or your BFF as a shoulder to cry on shouldn't be your primary method of hashing things out. I was in the Army when my wife and I got married, so I understand your situation a little. But talk with him. Find a night at least once a month where the both of you can agree to set aside the rest of your lives and go on a date. Go for a picnic or a drive. Something that takes you away from your everyday life and allows you to act like you are dating again. Tell him how you are feeling and don't turn it into a "I said, you said" contest. He is your soulmate. Focus on him. Hope that helps, hun.0 -
Wife’s Journal
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's journal
Jeep won’t start…can’t figure out why.
This is perhaps the issue....You might be overstressing "the situation" and he doesn't think there is a problem at all. Guys get comfortable when they are in a stable relationship(just like women do...) and sometimes sex isn'ton the frontburner every day.Have fun with it and don't stress because it's probably not anything.0 -
Speaking as an Military husband, sometimes it is just the last thing on our mind! Granted, we will JUMP at the opportunity, but we may have our minds thousands of miles when it comes to initiating it ourselves. Also, if he is a lower enlisted rank (which I would assume at that age) the idea of someone else telling you what to do is easier to grasp than the alternative. Just a thought. 0
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To me sometimes women send out signals that seem they are not interested.
The signals flow both ways and not always the right ones we want to send.
You must talk it out for it to work.
Don't talk about how bad your day was and then expect to get attacked.0 -
Wife’s Journal
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's journal
Jeep won’t start…can’t figure out why.
Ta da! Ain't that the truth! :laugh: :laugh:0
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