Why are people so cruel

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  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
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    Ok mini vent too..This morning one of the girls in the office recieved a box of chocolate dipped strawberries from edible arrangements and decided to offer me one. Needless to say neither of us are skinny. There was a customer in the lobby at this time, Male with the stomache of a pregnant woman. So I selected one. The guy then says" you know if you eat that you will only get fatter than what you are" "You know men like skinny woman." I didnt reply because I like my job and the words coming out of my mouth wasnt going to be pretty. So I ate all my 140 calories strawberry and gave him eyes that could kill. He doesnt know me or my workout plans. What gives him the right to judge me on my weight? This is why alot of people have confidence issues dealing with there weight

    Be happy that you are not as clueless and classless as he is.
  • Lizabee84
    Lizabee84 Posts: 353 Member
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    if a man or anyone for that matter said that to me at work, I'd give him a piece of my mind AND report him to HR.
    He was a customer, not a colleague.

    He was a customer that deals with the Oil Company I work at.
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
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    find out who he is and just sic the dog on him! What an *kitten*!
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
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    You will get people like that in life, and I know how much it hurts but all you can really do is walk away. I've had comments about my weight from strangers in the street and also my sister and a few ex friends. I'm not the type of person who will argue back or anything, I walked away every single time. They don't know how much their comments hurt you.
    People make horrible comments usually because their self esteem isn't high, commenting on you or your achievements gives them a boost. It's so wrong and I find it disgusting that people behave this way but there's nothing I can do about it. Don't give them the satisfaction of commenting back or having a slanging match.
  • kalynn06
    kalynn06 Posts: 368 Member
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    Like other people have said, it was wildly inappropriate no matter your weight, but you're not even close to fat. From your pictures, you look great and actually smaller than average. He must be projecting his own weight issues.

    I think that sometimes you don't even have to say anything in situations like that. Most people can't maintain eye contact for long. Just look pointedly at his belly, give a half smile and look in his eyes quietly. After he looks away, laugh softly and relish the strawberry. What is going to do, complain to your boss that you looked at him? Quiet contempt combined with (fake if necessary) confidence is a much underrated strategy for dealing with unmitigated @holes.
  • ChristineDiet
    ChristineDiet Posts: 719 Member
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    God damn - some people are just so rude. And isn't there a saying "calling the kettle black" maybe he should have looked in the mirror at himself and thought for a moment how he would feel if someone said anything like that.

    Judging by your pick - you don't look fat at all. Maybe he's just an idiot - sounds like it to me.

    Don't let it stress you. x
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    Ok mini vent too..This morning one of the girls in the office recieved a box of chocolate dipped strawberries from edible arrangements and decided to offer me one. Needless to say neither of us are skinny. There was a customer in the lobby at this time, Male with the stomache of a pregnant woman. So I selected one. The guy then says" you know if you eat that you will only get fatter than what you are"

    What the hell. Bizarre that he thinks it is ok to say that. They often say we dislike in other people what we dislike in ourselves. I suspect he feels guilty about his own weight problems but is too lazy to use a site such as this to improve himself.

    Besides, strawberries is one of your five a day and chocolate contains antioxidents and serotonin. I hope you saved one for me. :-D

    Wait a sec. I just looked at your profile pics. You're hardly fat!
  • HowieTwoPointZero
    HowieTwoPointZero Posts: 494 Member
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    Cause he's an *kitten*.

    Really, you don't need more then that. Don't try to figure out his behavior, don't give him a second more thought then you need to. Some people are just *kitten*, accept it, move on.
  • jennylsapia
    jennylsapia Posts: 236 Member
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    I dont see how this is so hard to comprehend.

    everyone judges everyone else by their outside appearance.. some people may change their initial impression easily once they get to know you, but EVERYONE judges by what they have.. and if they only have your outside appearance... thats what they go by.


    i realize this is the SUPPORT website, but sometimes reality has to jump in here. I am only saying this for PERSPECTIVE and not to be cruel or to make you feel bad.

    it doesnt matter that you are now eating right.
    it doesnt matter that you are now working out.
    until the YEARS of you NOT doing those things make you a not so large person, people will still judge you as the size you are.
    If you were 350lbs, and are now 270lbs... thats amazing, and I honestly admire the sheer work that takes. I understand.
    the random person on the street still sees a 270lb overweight person though.. not a person that just loss 80lbs.


    you cant take it personally, or you will be frustrated.
    take it as fuel and motivation to keep losing.... until the guy on the street sees you as you want to be seen.
    the person making the comment is just being more honest about his thoughts, then most people.
    most people keep them to themselves... but they're still thinking them.

    MR. DUDE are you blind??? She is no where near obese!!!! Definitly no where near 270 lbs!!! Now if she was my size ok I get your point!!! You are no better than the fat dude at her job!!! And yes everyone judges everyone else....its human nature but at no point is it ok!!! It is NEVER ok to make a comment on someone's weight especially when you are bigger than the person you are comenting on!! Ugh people like you frustrate me!!!


    NO more than frustrate me....people like you PISS ME OFF!!!
  • Captian_Dathon
    Captian_Dathon Posts: 73
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    I'm going to be honest here; That is the very reason I am embarrassed to eat anything but salads in front of people.

    He had no right to think that you weren't already aware of your body and were already doing things for your body.

    I agree with some of the others, though; He probably was just jealous he couldn't have a delicious chocolate covered strawberry.
  • Captian_Dathon
    Captian_Dathon Posts: 73
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    I dont see how this is so hard to comprehend.

    everyone judges everyone else by their outside appearance.. some people may change their initial impression easily once they get to know you, but EVERYONE judges by what they have.. and if they only have your outside appearance... thats what they go by.


    i realize this is the SUPPORT website, but sometimes reality has to jump in here. I am only saying this for PERSPECTIVE and not to be cruel or to make you feel bad.

    it doesnt matter that you are now eating right.
    it doesnt matter that you are now working out.
    until the YEARS of you NOT doing those things make you a not so large person, people will still judge you as the size you are.
    If you were 350lbs, and are now 270lbs... thats amazing, and I honestly admire the sheer work that takes. I understand.
    the random person on the street still sees a 270lb overweight person though.. not a person that just loss 80lbs.


    you cant take it personally, or you will be frustrated.
    take it as fuel and motivation to keep losing.... until the guy on the street sees you as you want to be seen.
    the person making the comment is just being more honest about his thoughts, then most people.
    most people keep them to themselves... but they're still thinking them.

    All I heard was, "Nobody will treat you with respect if you're overweight."

    I see where you're coming from, but we have no right to destructively judge and give nasty comments. You can think, "Oh, they have obviously let themselves go at some point" but you don't have the right to go and be rude to the person, especially right to their face.

    It's inhuman to be so inconsiderate.
  • endurowoman
    endurowoman Posts: 23 Member
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    I think most of the comments made about the jerk are right on. But it would have been a triumph for you to have said something to cut him off at the knees and that's being nice, knees are expendable you know! Keep on doing what you are doing and remember he has to work on his soul, your just fighting a physical problem.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    One of the best comebacks I've ever heard is one of a MFP friend: someone insulted her, and she said, " Well, I'd insult you back, but I see nature has already taken care of that."
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    I dont see how this is so hard to comprehend.

    everyone judges everyone else by their outside appearance.. some people may change their initial impression easily once they get to know you, but EVERYONE judges by what they have.. and if they only have your outside appearance... thats what they go by.


    i realize this is the SUPPORT website, but sometimes reality has to jump in here. I am only saying this for PERSPECTIVE and not to be cruel or to make you feel bad.

    it doesnt matter that you are now eating right.
    it doesnt matter that you are now working out.
    until the YEARS of you NOT doing those things make you a not so large person, people will still judge you as the size you are.
    If you were 350lbs, and are now 270lbs... thats amazing, and I honestly admire the sheer work that takes. I understand.
    the random person on the street still sees a 270lb overweight person though.. not a person that just loss 80lbs.


    you cant take it personally, or you will be frustrated.
    take it as fuel and motivation to keep losing.... until the guy on the street sees you as you want to be seen.
    the person making the comment is just being more honest about his thoughts, then most people.
    most people keep them to themselves... but they're still thinking them.

    All I heard was, "Nobody will treat you with respect if you're overweight."

    I see where you're coming from, but we have no right to destructively judge and give nasty comments. You can think, "Oh, they have obviously let themselves go at some point" but you don't have the right to go and be rude to the person, especially right to their face.

    It's inhuman to be so inconsiderate.

    We also don't know WHY other people are in their situation. I have a friend who gained a lot of weight due to steroids she took for a life-threatening condition. She's now slim (I never knew her when she was heavy). But who are others to judge? Really?
  • mischa_12
    mischa_12 Posts: 137 Member
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    This man sounds exactly like my uncle unfortunately, he's always making cruel remarks about my weight and let me tell you...he's not skinny himself! he has a huge gut but he has lots of self confidence to make up for it.
  • hillary124
    hillary124 Posts: 112
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    Thats so horrible. I hate cruel people. Two weeks ago I walked out of a zumba class bawling because two girls whispered and pointed at me and said "fat". Needless to say i havent been back there, they killed my confidence! Dont let this guy get to you, he was obviously a jerk with no self worth who doesnt realize how beautiful and perfect you are and how hard youre working to achieve your goals! Have chocolate covered strawberries and be happy and smile and dont let it get to you!
  • Vermilliana
    Vermilliana Posts: 42 Member
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    Shoulda asked him when he was due *L* Things like that really get my hackles up, especially considering the food in question...it was a damn STRAWBERRY! Its not like you were face down in a cake or something. Yes it had chocolate on it, but damn it you have the right to enjoy such things without some jackwagon piping up with nastiness. I got kicked out of a gym once for threatening some girls who were making fun of a new gym member..it was worth it. No one has the right to treat you that way..Ever.
  • Amy_Lee_2012
    Amy_Lee_2012 Posts: 156 Member
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    Being fat my entire life, I've had many cruel and insentive things said or done to me, becuase of my weight.

    One time when I was flatting with people who I didn't know very well, they ordered KFC and when it arrived, they handed me a diet pepsi, just assuming that since I was fat, I should be drinking diet pop. Everyone else had regular pop- it was embarrassing for me, at the time.

    Another time when I was sitting in a doctor's office, awaiting to see someone about my depression, a stranger struck up a conversation with me and asked me if I was seeking medication for being depressed due to being 'so fat'.


    I've also seen how other people are viewed, due to their weight. I used to work as a drive-thru cashier at Burger King, and any time a large person came through the drive-thru, my manager would always make comments to me about their weight and why they shouldn't be eating at BK. Fair enough, but why even say anything?

    Yes, I know I am fat, but it still hurts when people point it out to me and make fun of me for it. I thought reaching my late 30's would change things, but sadly, it doesn't. I still get made fun of, and it still effects me.
  • Lizabee84
    Lizabee84 Posts: 353 Member
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    I dont see how this is so hard to comprehend.

    everyone judges everyone else by their outside appearance.. some people may change their initial impression easily once they get to know you, but EVERYONE judges by what they have.. and if they only have your outside appearance... thats what they go by.


    i realize this is the SUPPORT website, but sometimes reality has to jump in here. I am only saying this for PERSPECTIVE and not to be cruel or to make you feel bad.

    it doesnt matter that you are now eating right.
    it doesnt matter that you are now working out.
    until the YEARS of you NOT doing those things make you a not so large person, people will still judge you as the size you are.
    If you were 350lbs, and are now 270lbs... thats amazing, and I honestly admire the sheer work that takes. I understand.
    the random person on the street still sees a 270lb overweight person though.. not a person that just loss 80lbs.


    you cant take it personally, or you will be frustrated.
    take it as fuel and motivation to keep losing.... until the guy on the street sees you as you want to be seen.
    the person making the comment is just being more honest about his thoughts, then most people.
    most people keep them to themselves... but they're still thinking them.




    Mr. Dude WOW...I hope you dont give advice to many people. I can see your point everyone judges everyone it is human nature but it is not ok to judge people on there apperance. It is the inside that counts. Just to let you know I am in the 130's so you are off by a bit on your comment. A person shouldnt be told they are fat no matter what they weigh

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