Don't want to be rude BUT

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Replies

  • grt2b40
    grt2b40 Posts: 9
    Simply pack a lunch and refrain from making any comments about the food selection. You have to do what is right for you and your body and if others make comments- let them. Just smile, be polite and refrain from judging anyone else for what they are eating. This is your journey, your wellness, and if others don't understand or respect it, let it be their issue- not yours.


    Completely agree!!!!!!
  • Bull2707
    Bull2707 Posts: 106
    Once a month we have a lunch thing as well. The civilians do not understand that the military can not afford to eat all the crap they can eat. I will take my own meal in that I know is healthy and not loaded. There is a difference in being skinny and being healthy. Keep doing what you are doing and eat the way you want to eat. Sometimes being up front and honest is called being rude, so be it!
  • missy787
    missy787 Posts: 35
    why not eat before the meeting and just have a small side salad whilst you are there?

    ^^^^^ This is what I would suggest. Good luck!
  • It's your health your life you just want to look after yourself whats wrong with that. So be rude who cares, feeling bloated and heavy is horrible. Pitty you can't say this is Occupational health and safety all this unhealthy food lol
  • joyous504
    joyous504 Posts: 72
    I don't care what others think about what I eat and obviously they don't care what they eat. You do what is best for you and forget about what everyone else to say. :flowerforyou:
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    Tell her you can't eat the ham (pork) for religious reasons, and you're lactose intolerant so you can't eat the mac and cheese. When she says, "Really?", you can say, "No, but I thought it would be rude to say that I just don't like to eat foods that make me fat." :wink: :laugh:
  • joyous504
    joyous504 Posts: 72
    I'm a vegan, BTW, so half the time I can't eat anything my family or co-workers decide on. I usually just eat before I go...
  • milf_n_cookies
    milf_n_cookies Posts: 2,244 Member
    I can't eat ham, it literally gives me a migraine (I think it might be the high sodium), so to something like this I would just bring my own food or tell them that it makes me ill and that I would be getting the salad bar to keep myself from feeling like crap. It's not rude at all to decline something that will make you feel sick.
  • ruggedBear
    ruggedBear Posts: 295
    If people in your office are very personal and likely to ask a lot of questions, it is very hard to not appear rude. You may find it helpful to keep a few standard answers for the inevitable questions about why you are eating something (or not eating something):

    "Dairy just doesn't agree with me anymore" - when offered pizza, mac & cheese or anything else loaded with cheese, mayo, etc.
    "I'm staying away from <insert any food here> to determine if I have a sensitivity to it"

    For those really chatty folks - you may have to listen to some diatribe about the topic, but I just go with the "smile and wave" philosophy. Listen and move on.....

    Good luck!
  • hillbillyannie
    hillbillyannie Posts: 139 Member
    Well you're definitely not over weight but that doesn't mean you shouldn't eat healthy. I've known people who were skinny who had heart attacks and strokes. I have this problem alot at church dinners and with family eating out. I try to insist on buffets when we go out so I have a choice. The church dinners are different though so I eat light and make up the difference later. I also don't eat pork, shrimp, etc. for religious reasons and everyone seems okay with that although they don't always understand. I tell people there are two things overweight people need to understand. 1. No one is going to take it away from you (sometimes we eat like we think they are) and 2. This is not the last meal you're ever going to get (and if it is that means you're getting ready to go to see the L-rd). This usually gets a chuckle but it's true. When you get your mind wrapped around this it will help you understand what's needed on your journey. Don't worry about what they think. If you need to get a salad, get it. If you need to take more salad from what they bring, do it. Good luck.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    Well you're definitely not over weight but that doesn't mean you shouldn't eat healthy. I've known people who were skinny who had heart attacks and strokes. I have this problem alot at church dinners and with family eating out. I try to insist on buffets when we go out so I have a choice. The church dinners are different though so I eat light and make up the difference later. I also don't eat pork, shrimp, etc. for religious reasons and everyone seems okay with that although they don't always understand. I tell people there are two things overweight people need to understand. 1. No one is going to take it away from you (sometimes we eat like we think they are) and 2. This is not the last meal you're ever going to get (and if it is that means you're getting ready to go to see the L-rd). This usually gets a chuckle but it's true. When you get your mind wrapped around this it will help you understand what's needed on your journey. Don't worry about what they think. If you need to get a salad, get it. If you need to take more salad from what they bring, do it. Good luck.

    Agreed. Just because you LOOK healthy on the outside does not mean you are healthy on the inside. If you have high LDL and low HDL's you could be a heart attack or similar on the build....
  • Bradleyjah
    Bradleyjah Posts: 48 Member
    I agree with most folks here...it's definitely not rude. I have to deal with this a fair amount, and it was initially a problem because I get invited to various internal group lunches and external lunches....so, I don't have one person organizing all my lunches. Also, I'm in the South...so, the definition of "healthy" can be greasy green beans or a salad with fried chicken. So, even when I've mentioned healthier meals, they don't often turn out that way (which can be the worst because then the organizer went out of their way for you and you don't want to offend them).

    However, I've learned a few tricks. Within my own group, I've just let people know that I eat healthy and bring my own lunch...so, when I nibble at the provided lunch, they all know that I'm going to have my own meal later. Also, while I know it's wasteful, I've found that no one thinks twice once you put the food on the plate and mix it around...so, I'll put a few things on my plate (mostly salad) to make it look good and then just eat some of the salad and then toss it. Lastly, when I'm not with my own group that knows I eat healthy or when I get some flak for not eating (I actually got some yesterday), I usually just make a quick joke about "swimsuit season coming up" (although, I'm a little husky...so, this works as a joke for me) or something to that effect...and if they push (like they did yesterday), then I tell them I packed my lunch and don't want it to go to waste (for me, I'll also mention that I have so many of these lunches that I've learned I get a lot "rounder" if I eat too many of them! Everyone usually gets that, too.).

    So, in short, I don't think passing on the main course is rude at all. Where I live, I am definitely a little more cautious about offending people (people down here love their food and take it personally), but I've also learned that if you're just polite about it and don't get all judgey, then you're usually fine.
  • Nikki_42
    Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member
    It's never rude to say a polite no thank you.

    When someone, who is rude, questions your personal choices you might wish to have a response ready. (if you feel like answering instead of telling them to *kitten* off :laugh: ) My standard smart *kitten* remark-- If they ask mewhy, I ask them why not or why aren't they. :tongue:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I would eat the free side salad and bring something healthy from home to go with it. I would probably make sure it was some really yummy leftovers rather than more salad. Mostly because I'm not a big fan of salad, but also because I like to show people that being thin doesn't require eating only salad.

    If someone commented that I was too skinny, I'd simply reply "It's better than being too fat." and go back to enoying my healthy lunch.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    Judging by your profile pic, I don't think you are too skinny.

    either pack your own lunch, or just eat the salad.

    If anyone says anything again about you not eating what they are eating, just tell them you like your arteries clean.
  • carriecarrot
    carriecarrot Posts: 70 Member
    It's like this. In many offices all across America it is customary to order lunches that provide tasty, free food and this often means fattening foods from caterers. It is one way that office workers bond and a way for a company to show appreciation for their employees, and for that reason, it is no wonder that some of the same food usually reserved for family "get togethers" and holidays is featured. These situations also occur when you're part of any other organization as well (churches, book clubs). It's not that people want to deny you the right to eat healthy, it's just that they know better. They know you can exercise portion control and know that indulging yourself every once in awhile is not going to derail your fitness goals. The skinny girl in the office is annoying to people because theyre breaking a custom and they do not have a good reason for doing it. It's not that people are jealous but they find it irritating that the skinny office girl thinks her diet is superior. It's your preference versus something much bigger, a tradition among office workers to enjoy themselves and bond. There are many times were I ate something I did not want to out of respect. It really does offend people when you do not want to eat the food they made. Say, if my boyfriend's mother cooks something that I don't like I still eat some of it. I don't pig out on it--why would I? It's not a food that I like. It's about being courteous and sensitive to the feelings of others.
  • mdsjmom98
    mdsjmom98 Posts: 333 Member
    It's no different than if you had a food allergy or something. You have the right to choose foods that are good for you. If you are having stomach issues after eating this greasy stuff, then I think that speaks volumes. Do what's best for you, and ignore what others may say.
  • sophjakesmom
    sophjakesmom Posts: 904 Member
    I would just pack a lunch and explain that you're trying to watch what you eat. Nobody should argue with you about that, and if they do it's kind of rude on their part.

    ^^ This! and If they make a big deal about it, the appropriate response is "And this is your business because........?":huh: :huh:
  • missprincessgina
    missprincessgina Posts: 446 Member
    First off, you look great in your profile picture! And second, this situation used to happen to me at work all the time. I used to just bring my own lunch, a healthy wrap, salad or fruit salad. I felt like I had to stand up for myself and my health. The other women hated me for it and gossiped about me all the time BUT slowly some of the other people started bringing their lunches too. It was a touchy subject but I wasn't willing to waste calories on gross greasy food that I really didn't even like. I work from home now and it is so great to get out of a stuffy boring office.

    And I just want to very politely disagree with the statement about eating food out of respect for someone's feelings. I would never ever ever eat something that I don't like or something that would affect me or my body in a negative way. Maybe I am too honest but I would just politely tell the host or chef or meal planner why I don't want to eat _______ and explain why. Rather than eating something that I don't want to and then feeling terrible afterwards.
  • kappyblu
    kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
    It might come across as rude if you do this on your own and the person organising may feel that you are attacking. Why not get the support of some of your colleagues and 'mention' that the food choices could be more healthy. Perhaps say how much you enjoy the meetings but wish there was more choice?

    ^^This. I totally agree. Ally yourself with people who feel the same way. It sounds like change isn't going to happen with this without some help. Good luck! :drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • Dremak1
    Dremak1 Posts: 18
    We have the same thing and our issues are some are vegetarians, some losing weight, some are large and have no intention of EVER losing weight. We now order from a different local restaurant every month - we are each given a menu and price limit. we order ahead and one person is assigned to go pick it up. That way we can all get what we want. Perhaps you could suggest trying this once to see if works out for you.
  • sharleengc
    sharleengc Posts: 792 Member
    I work in a school and lunch is provided everyday as long as you are eating with the kids - everyone has Lunch Duty with their kids daily. But, I never eat the school food. It suppose overall it isn't bad, but it definitely adds up. I always bring my own lunch and eat it at a later time, when the kids are at their specials or recess, instead. Occasionally people mention it but nobody has ever been offended by it. A few of them even say that sounds like a good idea but rarely do people bring their own.

    I usually make a sandwich with rice cake chips or the hormeal ready to eat stuff. My lunch is always under 400 cal.


    Now, if we have a professional day with no kids, I will eat with them because they expect all the teachers to be together...I just eat pretty much only salad with maybe a few bites of whatever else there is. No one's mentioned that either so I think you should be able to find some workaround.
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
    I think if your boss will get pissed because you didn't eat crap food, then you need a new boss.

    Has she ordered the food yet? If not, ask her if she could order a little extra salad because that's what you'd like to eat for lunch or better yet, what the other options are from where she's ordering. They cater by the person usually, so adding X for 1 shouldn't be a major cost factor.
  • I would just take my own packed lunch and if anybody asks you about it just be honest and say that it upsets your tummy if you eat foods that are too rich and you don't want to feel ill. Nobody can argue with that :smile:
  • Bradleyjah
    Bradleyjah Posts: 48 Member
    First off, you look great in your profile picture! And second, this situation used to happen to me at work all the time. I used to just bring my own lunch, a healthy wrap, salad or fruit salad. I felt like I had to stand up for myself and my health. The other women hated me for it and gossiped about me all the time BUT slowly some of the other people started bringing their lunches too. It was a touchy subject but I wasn't willing to waste calories on gross greasy food that I really didn't even like. I work from home now and it is so great to get out of a stuffy boring office.

    This! I once worked in an office of all larger women (and I now again work with some larger women), and initially, I got a lot of resistance when I ate healthy and was losing weight. As the only guy in the office, I found they were constantly trying to get me to break my diet (bringing in cookies or cakes...and really pushing me to eat my "share"). But, like you, I found that they slowly started to come around (and I think their initial resistance was a little bit of jealousy at my will power), and many of them started to follow my lead (although, some went a little too fad diety). Anyways, I've seen the same thing happen with my current office...initially, there was resistance, but now, some have started to follow my lead and I actually get props in meetings or at lunches for my will power.
  • MissMarthaGrace
    MissMarthaGrace Posts: 227 Member
    I don't think it's rude at all. There are certain things that I can't eat because I know that they'll cause problems a little later and I've learned to just take a pass at those foods, certain restaurants, etc. I don't worry anymore about what others think - I just concentrate on me, and what makes my belly happy. On many occasion I've even told people that I have an "intollerance" to certain foods, and they have been more mindful of things going forward. I wouldn't explain that you're "watching what you eat" - just eat what makes you feel good and don't worry about the others.
  • afassett
    afassett Posts: 29
    Personally, I do not think it's rude at all to either bring your own lunch or go to the salad bar to grab something healthier.

    If your body doesn't agree with the food, and you don't want to eat it - don't!
    Just politely explain that you're not necessarily trying to lose weight, but you're trying to eat healthy, and maintain the healthy lifestyle that you are living.

    If they still have issues with it - they'll get over it. If they comment, just ignore it. At the end of the day, how YOU feel about YOURSELF is what matters.
    And who knows, maybe at the next lunch someone will do the same, or ask to order healthier food!

    It's sad to think our society wants to condemn people or make them feel bad for wanting to eat healthier.
  • Musikelektronik
    Musikelektronik Posts: 739 Member
    My question is, is it rude go and get a salad from the salad bar? I have already been told I am too skinny, so I am sure this will go over like a ton of bricks. I have already offered to help plan what we are eating, but that is not working, obviously.

    I've never seen anyone ridiculed for making healthy eating choices at work. Hell, I've gone to lunch meetings and watched everyone else eat while I sip on a Coke Zero. It's nobody's business why I'm eating or not eating.

    And in your situation, if you choose to get your own healthy meal, rather than eating the crap provided, I don't see why anyone would fault you for it. If they do, they're idiots. And who cares what idiots think?
  • amzasmommy
    amzasmommy Posts: 26 Member
    When I have work luncheons, I choose from a few options:

    - plan my day around that meal so the rest of the day is much lighter
    - eat smaller portions or just part of the meal
    - eat lunch before or after I go
  • bzmommy34
    bzmommy34 Posts: 229 Member
    Is it really even about the skinny aspect of it? I'd say it's more that greasy foods cause you gastro issues and for your health you choose not to eat them. Period. And if there are others that give you slack then so be it.... this is your body and you are the only one that knows what it does and does not need.

    You can relay this kindly, of course. :) Good luck!
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