Question for the married/long-term relationship folks

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124

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  • mommamisty823
    mommamisty823 Posts: 99
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    yep, sure do. we used to just argue each other's point when we were younger (we've been together since high school). Now we're more adult about it. I finially told him that we can't agree on everything, so instead of trying to convince the other person that they're wrong let's just agree to disagree. It's much better for both of us that way.

    Edit: 6 years married (7 this summer), and together for 11.
  • mimiclown
    mimiclown Posts: 32
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    Married 33 years, it doesn't change. Learn to tune out. It keeps me sane.
  • DisneySkaGirl
    DisneySkaGirl Posts: 161
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    Married 12 years, still argue about who loves who more. :smooched:

    That's super cute! My hubby and I do that too, but we've only been married 3 years (in July)... I hope we're still doing that at 12 years and beyond.

    As others have said, politics and religion... my husband's opinions have changed quite a bit, and I'm fairly pragmatic, so while I might disagree or be bothered by his views, we're usually pretty able to just discuss without any real arguing or hurt feelings. And we very seldom argue on day to day stuff, because we both trust the other one is doing what they think is best most of the time.
  • forgtmenot
    forgtmenot Posts: 860 Member
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    I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and we do disagree on some things. One of them being eating habits! He is a junk food junkie! He drinks probably 4-5 cans of Mountain Dew a day while I rarely drink soda at all. He will eat my healthy cooking, but he prefers southern/comfort type foods and loves all kinds of junk food. He is tall and skinny though and will probably never be fat, while I've gained at least 10lbs since we have been together lol.

    He thinks he doesn't need to eat healthy because he is skinny, but I try to tell him that you can be skinny and be unhealthy! Anyway, we don't get in big arguments over this but it is something we do disagree on.
  • jplord
    jplord Posts: 510 Member
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    Married 24 years. Two words: "Yes Dear."
  • leykisgirl
    leykisgirl Posts: 25
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    great, you make it work.
    its awesome that he gets the message.

    My FI have disputes, I just say...
    "we aren't getting into this"
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Yep. My boyfriend is an atheist and I'm Christian. We disagree on our beliefs but made an agreement that I will stop trying to get him to believe and he will stop making fun of me for believing - basically this is never discussed with us. AND he is not allowed to tell our daughter he is an atheist until she is much much older.

    Other than that we are 2 peas in a pod.

    Edit: Been together 8 years.
  • sammys1girly
    sammys1girly Posts: 1,045 Member
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    My husband of 15 years and I have a few things we disagree on, and always voice our opinion and then end up calling each other stubborn. It's like a joke now so whenever one of our kids is being stubborn, we each say "he/she got that from you!" We agree on the important issues though and can agree to disagree if we need to.
  • raystark
    raystark Posts: 403 Member
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    If a man expresses an opinion in the woods and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • KellyKAG
    KellyKAG Posts: 418
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    Politics!!!! This conversation will start a war in my house every time.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    My wife and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage this year and we've been together longer than that. I can honestly say that we don't disagree on anything of importance. We have similar goals. We both agreed on the upbringing of our children. We both have the same priorities.

    There are lots of places where we differ. She's a little bit Country; I'm a little bit Rock 'n Roll. She a Democrat; I'm a Republican. She was raised Mormon; I was raised Catholic. So what?

    As a couple, we are 100% on the same page. Always will be.

    No one will believe this, but, we have never had a fight.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    Yep. My boyfriend is an atheist and I'm Christian. We disagree on our beliefs but made an agreement that I will stop trying to get him to believe and he will stop making fun of me for believing - basically this is never discussed with us. AND he is not allowed to tell our daughter he is an atheist until she is much much older.

    Other than that we are 2 peas in a pod.

    Edit: Been together 8 years.

    Are you *allowed* to tell the daughter you are christian?
  • laurieblair2012
    laurieblair2012 Posts: 106
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    I solved one of our "hot button" issues very easily. If I have to watch NASCAR, he has to watch Glee. The end. :)
  • sjeagle30
    sjeagle30 Posts: 292 Member
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    Most definately politics!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I live in Wisconsin and the whole Scott Walker debate has gotten way outta hand!
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    I solved one of our "hot button" issues very easily. If I have to watch NASCAR, he has to watch Glee. The end. :)

    Sounds reasonable!
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    I just want to say that your profile pic looks like you just asked a question are anxiously waiting for our answers lol
  • Browny43
    Browny43 Posts: 124 Member
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    FOOTBALL!!!! August to January is pretty hard, he's a Cowboy fan and I'm a Steelers fan.
  • happypath101
    happypath101 Posts: 534
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    The damn t.v. He has SIX of them. The sweetie wall-mounted a flat screen by the clawfoot tub so I could watch while I soak. Sweet, sort of. But, the man has no idea. I'm feathering a girl-cave where NO t.v's will ever be allowed. Sigh! :O)

    Ha! My husband and I are the exact opposite. I have the tv on all the time, even though most of the time I'm not really watching it, because I can't stand the quiet. He doesn't really care about tv at all unless its football season.

    Thanks! I feel better now. (It's a good reminder that every relationship has it's annoyances, eh? We canNOT focus on them, or we'll ruin all the good stuff! :O)
  • kwill104
    kwill104 Posts: 4 Member
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    "on a couple of theoretical, arbitrary points that don't really affect our day to day life."

    Are they important enough to cause discourse in your relationship? Yes, my wife and I have differences, but for me if they aren't a big deal I just do things my way and let her do things hers.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    "on a couple of theoretical, arbitrary points that don't really affect our day to day life."

    Are they important enough to cause discourse in your relationship? Yes, my wife and I have differences, but for me if they aren't a big deal I just do things my way and let her do things hers.

    No, they don't cause discourse at all! We actually have a great partnership and agree on all the major points of finances, family, religion, sex - all those sticky points that seem to cause so many problems. I was just curious about how other couples handle their 'no-win' disagreements :smile:

    AND I just realized my phone auto-corrected hell to help in my original post :laugh: Too late to edit but I really do know the saying!

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