how without upsetting her do i...

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myers0machine
myers0machine Posts: 685
in Chit-Chat
How with out a heated argument; one that you can not win do I tell my girl she ain't as fit as she use to me and has put on a little weight and want her to come to the gym with me so she becomes more healthier also she eats junk how to make her eat better its a tough conversation to have of course ill love her no matter just want her to love fittness as much as me plus if she's healthier she will have a better life so if u was me how would u go bout it?and have you ever had the convention with your partner to get fitter aha
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Replies

  • ThePunkHippie
    ThePunkHippie Posts: 213
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    about the junk food - you could always tell her that having it around is too tempting for you

    or you could educate her on the death trap that is trans fats ;D I know that cut down my junk food consumption a LOT
  • silcock69
    silcock69 Posts: 50
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    ****ing hell i wouldn't want to be in that position, good luck mate.


    (R.I.P even if you say a single word wrong)
  • migoi357
    migoi357 Posts: 173 Member
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    You don't say anything..you do. Cook her a healthy meal, if you eat out choose places with healthier dishes. Plan dates for healthier activities..maybe ones that push her just a tiny bit and maybe get the gym thing to be her idea. Just include her in your new, healthier lifestyle.
  • MaryBowen27
    MaryBowen27 Posts: 132
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    I'd say the best way is to go slowwww. Before you spark the convo, maybe ask her to go on a few active dates- kayaking, biking, dancing at a club- whatever suits your lives. Also, cook! Cook some healthy stuff, go to a farmers market and enjoying making a fresh meal. Tell her YOUR excited about it, and see what, if anything, sparks her interest.

    If you start by saying 'you don't blah blah' or 'you're not blah blah' she's likely going to feel attacked any time you bring up eating healthier, exercising etc. She may end up resenting your comments and protesting the whole thing. Make it about things you want to do with her, and maybe she's hit the ground running and pick up activities and healthier eating solo too!

    Good luck!
  • MaryBowen27
    MaryBowen27 Posts: 132
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    You don't say anything..you do. Cook her a healthy meal, if you eat out choose places with healthier dishes. Plan dates for healthier activities..maybe ones that push her just a tiny bit and maybe get the gym thing to be her idea. Just include her in your new, healthier lifestyle.

    Bingo!
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
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    Don't just throw this all on her at one time. Why don't you first start by asking her to partner up with you at the gym. Or maybe you could do something that really isn't looked at as exercise but is....go for a hike, play tennis....taking a dance class together. Once she gets into routine with that she might just start to feel healthier and take it upon herself to alter her eating habits.
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
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    Definitely do NOT under any circumstances mention her weight. Ever.
  • sharleengc
    sharleengc Posts: 792 Member
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    (R.I.P even if you say a single word wrong)

    My husband agreed with you!
  • silcock69
    silcock69 Posts: 50
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    Jab and move mate, jab and move..
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    You don't say anything..you do. Cook her a healthy meal, if you eat out choose places with healthier dishes. Plan dates for healthier activities..maybe ones that push her just a tiny bit and maybe get the gym thing to be her idea. Just include her in your new, healthier lifestyle.

    Bingo!

    Bingo again! I completely like the suggested above! I think it would work for me
  • kasafrass
    kasafrass Posts: 50 Member
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    (R.I.P even if you say a single word wrong)
    [/quote]


    ^^this. good luck!
  • takingnameskickingbutt
    takingnameskickingbutt Posts: 232 Member
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    Do things she likes that are more active ... go shopping, bedroom activities and a romantic walk. I am sure she already knows how you feel.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    Oh man. Good luck with that.
  • janalayn
    janalayn Posts: 510 Member
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    It really depends on your girl. I am a realist so I knew that I was overweight and out of shape. My fiance didn't have to tell me but when I decided to make changes, he became my biggest supporter. He cooks healthier foods and supports my exercise time.

    Make sure she knows you would enjoy it if she came to workout with you. A lot of guys go to the gym to get away from their girlfriends. Or encourage her to find an activity she likes ... My fiance suggested hula hooping and I have loved it. Most of all, make sure she knows that you love HER, regardless.
  • PeaceCorpsKat
    PeaceCorpsKat Posts: 335 Member
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    Don't bring up her weight. As sad as it is to say, women don't respond well to it. And if you even say anything she will feel attacked, which won't help.

    If you really, seriously, think her health is at risk you need to phrase it as "I love you, everything about you, and I want you around for a long time."

    But if her health isn't in serious jeapordy I would just let it be, and tell her that you would love for her to join you in some activities like the gym.

    From experience I can tell you, I have never been motivated to get in shape or lose weight from people critizing.... It is only when I have felt complacent and comfortable that I found the strength to change things.

    Good luck
  • Norinella
    Norinella Posts: 31
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    Definitely do NOT under any circumstances mention her weight. Ever.

    I agree. She probably knows she has put on weight. Most people are their own worst critics. Don't make her feel even worse by pointing it out and making her feel unattractive. I agree with the non-verbal route. Tell her you'd really like to learn salsa-dancing, and would she like to sign up for classes? Most women would kill to have a man do something like that.
  • ThePunkHippie
    ThePunkHippie Posts: 213
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    I'd say the best way is to go slowwww. Before you spark the convo, maybe ask her to go on a few active dates- kayaking, biking, dancing at a club- whatever suits your lives. Also, cook! Cook some healthy stuff, go to a farmers market and enjoying making a fresh meal. Tell her YOUR excited about it, and see what, if anything, sparks her interest.

    This is brilliant! If you go this way, & she gets tired out before you, you could always try to talk her into doing more active dates to build up her stamina ;)
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
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    Tell her to come join you on MFP so she can read your blog posts. Maybe she'll also read some forum posts or become interested in logging her food. *shrug*

    If you decide to discuss it with her outright, I suggest you preface your statement with that part about "loving her no matter what." That's usually a good plan.

    Also saying that you're just concerned about her health and happiness - not her looks - is also helpful in deterring anger.

    Also asking her how SHE feels about her health, and if SHE thinks she'd like to do something about it, is also good, because then it starts and introspective discussion rather than an accusatory argument.

    But honestly the other suggestions might be good things to try first - before having a discussion about it outright. :P
  • zumbagirlwf
    zumbagirlwf Posts: 18 Member
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    I'm glad you posted this. I'm trying to do the same for my husband but nothing motivates him. All he wants to do is sit around watch sports, drink beer, and eat junk. Ugh!
  • angelashay42
    angelashay42 Posts: 286
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    You find a new girlfriend. You can't make someone like the same things you like and do the same things you do. Love her for who she is or find someone new.
    I'm a vegetarian and my husband isn't. I've never tried to push my eating habits on him. I love him for who he is.

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