Disordered thoughts, beyond obsession?

Please eat more.
I was anorexic in high school. As soon as I became healthy I gained EVERYTHING back in a couple months.
I don't understand how you're not completely exhausted, but it might be the pills covering up that your body is possibly shutting down.
I understand what its like to be desperate, but trust me, restricting yourself is only going to come back to hurt you.

I think you probably don't see a lot of change in the mirror because you're eating too little and your body is grabbing your muscle as fuel because its way easier to breakdown into glucose than fats. So you are losing WEIGHT but its probably muscle, your fat is still the same. And since muscle is more compact than fat, you don't look the same as you would if you lost 22 lbs of just fat.

And that IS anorexic thought, that you should be netting 0 or less calories. MFP has 1200 NET, so if you exercise, you eat more, and if you don't, you eat 1200. You eat 600, burn 700 so you net negative. So when you DON'T exercise, that would be 0 calories to get the same results.

Yeah I started at 1200 but I did NOT want to lower because I just love food. So I kept increasing... funny how different minds work :ohwell:

I'm eating between 2000-2350 cals per day, exercising 5-6 times a week (this is without eating calories back, counting exercise calories is just too different per person). Also, my workouts are usually less than an hour, except for once a week when I have long runs. I have NOT gained any weight, lost a little, but I'm fine with that because I'm pretty close to my goal and am just focusing on making all this a habit instead of losing all my weight now.

Sorry for the random bit, but I'm just mentioning it to say that I'm NOT stressing or obsessing anymore about my weight, I know I have the rest of my life to maintain my weight, so why not practice now?

your weight loss stall is probably due to eating too few calories. initally starting on a very low calorie diet will cause a dramatic weight loss. however down the line it will slow your metabolism down and your body will store whatever few calories you consume to keep basic body functions working, for example your brain and your heart (those are important as i understand it).

it does sound like you have an obession over food. you need to speak with someone who can help you through your fear. i bet that your law school has counseling or has services that can help.

i wish you the best of luck and i certainly hope that you can find the help you need and get back on track.

I don't think I could physically eat 2000 calories o.O
I'm never hungry.
I will try to up it to 1200 though,
I don't want to relax too much, because if I stay at this weight any longer I will scream.
I will work on maintenance when I reach 125

Yeah its pretty hard haha but I love food, and I eat every few hours and its awesome lol

Yeah, definitely increase your calories, and decrease your exercise for the time being... just give your body a break and give it time to repair your muscles and all that When you can think clearly, focus on schoolwork (remember, carbs are brainfood) and generally go through your day without thinking about food every minute then you can think about adding exercise. Yes you MAY see an increase on the scales but that is temporary, so don't freak out, maybe take a break from the scale

Also, keep us updated on your progress and how you are feeling day to day I don't want ANYONE to be eating too little and getting discouraged. I want to see a bunch of happy healthy people

First of all, I am very sorry you have to go through all of this stress! What strikes me the most reading your posts here is your anxiety of losing control and your focus on your body solely.
I think that it might be helpful to you to talk to somebody who can help you with that. Obsessive thoughts of any kind and the urge to control something (in your case body weight) are usually just something to help supress anxiety.
If you find different coping strategies for that you might have a more relaxed approach to eating and be able to trust yourself that you will stay on track without obsessing.
Good luck and all my love to you!

Check out this chick.. she's 5'1!
http://www.facebook.com/littlebshealthyhabits

If it helps, I'm currently doing this program. I'm at week 4, day 2:
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-easons-livefit-phase-1.html

Good luck! You can do it, but don't go for shortcuts i.e. starving yourself.

Here's a link for you to read:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/3047-700-calories-a-day-and-not-losing

I don't know if this will help at all: but an observation that I made while reading what you wrote, you said:

"I am a law student with really important exams starting next week, and I can't focus on studies, I can't focus on anything but food".
then three sentences later you say:
"I just wondered if this is anything to worry about, I'm not particularly worried myself, as I feel that it's a plan that's working".

To me if you can't think of anything but food, that's a plan that's not working. I hope you can figure out what you are looking for.

This. Please re-read the first paragraph or so of your original post. You're using words like "desperation" and "can't focus on anything but food." You know you have had an eating disorder in the past, and that you can't see yourself as anything but fat right now. You loathe the fat person, to the extent that it is actively interfering with the rest of your life.

Doctors may freak you out, my dear, but right now a good therapist would be a good idea. (Full disclosure: I'm a doctor.) Please stop slowly killing yourself. I've seen too many women whose bodies are in shambles right now, after a decade or so of disordered eating. Remember that your body is not YOU, but that you need your body and your brain to be working at their best so that you can fully enjoy your life. Right now -- and you've said it yourself -- they're not. Which means that what you're doing isn't working. Time to do something different that will work better. I agree that slowly bumping up your calories and losing the supplements are good first starts. But figuring out how to like and respect YOU, regardless of what your body looks like, will not magically happen even at your goal weight. That comes from within.

I you're using pills they are probably acting as an appetite supressant so you are never hungry. Try ditching the pills.

If you exercise that much your metabolism will improve anyway but not whilst your body is trying to slow it down cos its not getting enough fuel.


first ditch the pills, then try eating more fruit or salad or veg. These don't contain huge amounts of calories but will help increase your volume of food whilst you can still feel ok about it as there are so few calories in them.

Try something like a low carb diet, or clean eating - most cals will come from prepackaged ready meals and huge portions of fries or loads of bread etc. cutting them out means you can eat alot more of the good stuff, increase the volume of what you eat and stay within the amount of calories you need for your body.

once you get comfortable with having more on your plate then you can try adding a small portion of potato or something onto it so visually its the same amount (if remove some of the salad and veg) but a different food group.

You need to remember that whilst your only eating 600 and burning 700 your metabolism is getting slower and slower and the pills aren't doing anything other than putting extra strain on your heart muscle.

Fat Burners work better to give you energy to exercise but you need to be eating more to fuel it, they work better for people who eat too much and don't exercise enough and who often take them in place of exercise so they don't have to go jog around the block!

Try and get the focus back on your studies. I've just had a very busy hectic month and just relaised I haven't even thought about my weight once or been getting on the scales everyday. Even with the occasional choc bars I haven't gained (I just checked now) cos most of my diet is healthy and I've been exercising everyday even if its only on pedal exerciser whilst watching telly. Find some healthy snacks and get back to your studies.

(yes, I have lied on my food diary here, the reality is a lot less)

I think this was the most concerning line in your post. Being honest in your diary will be the most helpful thing - you are only lying to yourself.

I like how we're talking about this like a math problem. This is not a weight loss issue.
Let's break it down:
You're afraid to eat. You are not seeing changes in your body which are documented by your weight loss. You had a "breakdown" with your trainer. You have asked a roomful of strangers if you have a mental illness, then counter their suggestions.
Certainly no harm can be done by seeking the advice of a mental health professional, unless you spend the money and then go argue with them.