embarressed of S.O.

I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

Yes but do you parade that around other people or do you try to work with him directly on it?

I seriously wish my wife had said something to me when I had put on about 20-30 pounds instead of just watching me get bigger. Of course, I would have wanted it to be said in a nice way, but said.

This is an interesting take! When you put on the weight would you have accepted anything she would have said? My husband has put on 80+lbs since we had our 2 kids (now 5 and 4) I put on roughly 50 but have lost 30lbs of it. I have encouraged him to go to the gym, run, or just get active and he won't. It makes me sad but I would NEVER tell people, "he's fat but really nice"....or be ashamed to be around him.

It makes me sad how shallow some people can be.

That's harsh.

I have no other words.

I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

My boyfriend is not overweight but he has very bad eating habits. I found a good way to get him to eat healthier was to just talk about healthy food in general. I talk about what kind of food I'm eating all the time and now he's picked up looking at nutrition facts and eats a lot healthier.

This woman obviously didn't actually care about her SO and just wanted to look good.

If they are that embarrassed of their S.O. then they don't love them. My S.O. does things that are embarrassing (to himself) all the time. I don't have to run and hide over it.

I agree ^
That is just sad...does her SO know she does this? I feel so bad for him, if he knows his self-esteem must be shattered. so sad.

I have gained a lot of weight since moving to south carolina a year ago and my boyfriend shows me the same amount of love today as he did we we first met! so I think that lady needs to move on and grow up because when you love somebody with all of your heart it does not matter how they look

I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

My boyfriend is not overweight but he has very bad eating habits. I found a good way to get him to eat healthier was to just talk about healthy food in general. I talk about what kind of food I'm eating all the time and now he's picked up looking at nutrition facts and eats a lot healthier.

This woman obviously didn't actually care about her SO and just wanted to look good.

None of us know enough about this woman to really judge whether she just wants to look good. If that were really the case surely she'd have binned the fat boyfriend in favour of something more akin to a trophy partner.

at work this morning, a woman was talking to me about how she hid/ran away from someone she saw out in public because she didn't want this person to see how fat her boyfriend had become.

thoughts?
has anyone ever done this???
how would you feel if your girl/boyfriend told you they'd done that?

If my so did that, I would dump them because clearly they are an *kitten* who cares more about my size than about ME.

If my co-worker told me something like that I would tell them what I thought about it.

It is horrible. So sad.

Both, actually. I try with him and when that has no affect I'll publicly comment on it. I'm not going to stand there and slag him off in front of people but I won't shy away from an obvious fact either.

Then you and I are in disagreement in that area. I feel very strongly that such things are a personal discussion and shouldn't be used to publicly humiliate the other in an attempt to motivate weight loss (I'm not saying that's what you do, but that's what I see the actions described by the O.P. as doing). For me at least, attempting to do something like that would make the problem worse.

We shall agree to disagree. Weight is publc - everyone can see it if you're fat.

that's awful - but too funny the guy with the lettuce girl friend...