Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

Options
2456

Replies

  • 0always0
    0always0 Posts: 36
    Options
    I've been at uni in Brighton for the last 3 years and my boyfriend is in Somerset - I know it's not as far as yours but we're stronger than any relationship I've ever had. Skype is our best friend! They *can* work - promise! :flowerforyou:
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    Options
    I lived in Oklahoma and my boyfriend too lived in England. I now live with him in the UK :)

    It can work if you really work at it. It's hard finding ways to immigrate/get a visa etc. I'm a student atm so that's how I'm allowed to stay here.

    Also, not to be a downer, but be prepared to deal with fights that arent happening in person. It's a lot harder than it sounds. And of course, if you dont move in together soon, be prepared for the heartbreak of dropping him off at the airport/going to the airport after being with eachother for a little while :( that was the hardest part
  • GroovyGma73
    GroovyGma73 Posts: 64
    Options
    My husband is Canadian and I am Australian, we have been married for 3 years, I spent the first 15 months living in Canada with him and his family and I ended up returning back home in January 2011 as I was so homesick and missed my kids plus my daughter gave birth to my 1st grandchild, but unfortunately Hubby could not return with me due to committments, we have been apart for the past 16 months and he is coming out to Australia at the end of September to live, yes its bloody hard but doable if you love one another
  • Brieve29
    Brieve29 Posts: 14 Member
    Options
    I lived in Georgia and my husband was in California for three years while he was in the military. The military added a lot to it as well but we have now been married 3 years in about 2 weeks and together for over 6 and 1/2 years. They can work but it's like any other relationship. You both have to be committed and willing to put the extra effort into it. :)
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    Options
    Long distance relationships are hard (I was in one with my boyfriend for the first year we were together), but they CAN and DO work if both people are 100% committed to it.

    We live together now and often will comment how we managed to do it for an entire year, but you just do. If you really want to be with that person, you'll make it work.
  • 1953Judith
    1953Judith Posts: 325 Member
    Options
    Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. But I know mine involved a lot of lonely tears, a lot of work and a lot of correspondence. My husband and I did three years long distance; the last of which we were engaged. During the engagement, we wrote everyday by snail mail no less. This fall, 36 years into the marriage, we reread and shredded those letters (lots of memories, but we didn't want the kids to have to deal with them in the distant future).
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,308 Member
    Options
    I'm a believer, thiugh I'm very affectionate and think I would find that hard not having the physical contact but if you both are madly in love it's completely possible. One of you will have to be prepared to relocate at some point too.
  • JSheehy1965
    JSheehy1965 Posts: 404
    Options
    I had a long distance relationship for a couple of years...I was in England (like you) and he was in Upstate NY - we got married after 2 years of emailing and talking every day and visiting when we could and just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last month. :)
  • thiscanbedone
    thiscanbedone Posts: 84 Member
    Options
    Based on my and several friends' experiences, long distance relationships seem much more likely to work if you knew each other before the LDR started. If you've never LIVED real life together (not necessarily sharing a home, just living in the same general area...and anything that can be called a "visit" isn't "real life"), it's hard--if not impossible--to predict what that will be like. Good luck!

    Hmmmmm ... I had the exact opposite experience... It is very dramatic though... My husband saw me at a wedding... fell in love at first sight.:love: .. I was 18 then .. he called me a lot ..( I was very far from where he stayed and there were other life situations and such) .. but we never met each other for one year IMAGINE!! I was seeing the face of my lover for the first time after 1 year since the relationship started:noway: . And the trauma didn't end there ... we were in a long distance for 3 more years after that but then moved in with him and now we are happily married for a year and half!!
    I guess It just depends... I just knew .... Distance does make hearts grow fonder!!! :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
    We both were just crazy bout each other and couldn't let communication gap come in between each other though .. so you can definitely make it work... communicate communicate and share all u can :flowerforyou:
  • htmlgirl
    htmlgirl Posts: 314 Member
    Options
    Yes they can. It's hard and takes a lot of work.

    When we were dating, my now-husband lived 3 hours away from me. We both didn't have a car so we could only see eachother on long weekends. We talked on the phone and online a lot. A few months after we got married he deployed for a year.

    We've always been in a LDR, although we've been together for over a full year now (FINALLY). We started dating in 2008.
  • kekl
    kekl Posts: 382 Member
    Options
    I've been in one but it didn't even last a month after we moved away from each other (different colleges)
    Personally, I just can't handle them... However I have the communication skills of a rock. :drinker:

    I've seen them work though. It's hard but if you're both committed to it, it can happen. Good luck!
  • lucylousmummy
    lucylousmummy Posts: 348 Member
    Options
    i've never done it personally but a good friend of mine has, they came from the same town, he enlisted in army at age 17, went off to do god knows how many tours, about 1995 after being together 2 years she had had enough of sitting about twiddling her thumbs waiting for him to be home on leave, so moved from the UK to New york for a year with some family friends to be the kids nanny, when he was on leave he just went there to visit her, she moved back to the UK in 1996 after missing her parents, they got married about 2000 ish and from then on she moved about with him, altogether they have been together 20 years
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    Jersey to England is a long way, but every relationship is different. Of course it can work, but that depends on the people involved.

    My Buffalo, NY, to Boston, MA, relationship failed after a year, but that's because he was a huge DB and his mother was insane.
  • BrideToBe101212
    BrideToBe101212 Posts: 81
    Options
    I had a crush on someone in Middle School but they were "dating" my best friend at the time. We ended up going to different high schools. Then the summer of 2008, I had to take on another job, so I was working a full time and part time. While the boss was looking through the computer to find my employee number, I saw the guys name! I ran home, and realized I was friends with him on facebook.

    That summer we began to date a little, then he had to go back to Tennessee for school. Our families both lived in Delaware. The long distance continued ( with trips inbetween) until the May 2010. It was HARD! For both of us... There were moments we were not able to share together, but those trips were the best days ever. The drive is 8-10 hours depending on traffic, and he took it over a weekend just to spend my birthday with me!

    May 2010, I moved down to Tennessee with him. September 25th, of this year he proposed to me and we are getting married October 12th, 2012 (our official bf/gf date).

    A few things I suggest for anyone in a long distance relationship:

    Be open with communication- Do not tell important things through text message, they can be read the wrong way

    Start 2 notebooks- Each of you gets a notebook, write in it through the time. You can write when you miss them, when you had happy moments, draw pictures, whatever! When you see each other again, switch notebooks. You will be able to read everything
    they wrote and start new entries.

    Start a skype day: We had a date every Sunday night. It was nice talking on the phone and texting through out the day, but I always looked forward to Sunday nights when I would be able to see him.

    Are long distance relationships for everyone? No. However, with the right dedication from both parties, they can work.
  • knay112
    knay112 Posts: 45 Member
    Options
    YES! It can work. It's hard, not gonna lie... but you can make this work. We have, and we have been married for 10 years now. Come to think of it, I'm not sure how we did it, it was the era where there was no Skype etc. But boy, did we had phone bills *LOL*
    Hang in there... oh, and find the BritishExpat website. That website tells you everything you need to know, and then some!
  • CassieReannan
    CassieReannan Posts: 1,479 Member
    Options
    They can work.. I met my fiance online in 2009 fresh out of school. Although it wasnt really "long distance" we only live an hour away from eachother.. But we can only see eachother once a week.
  • uk_ja
    uk_ja Posts: 143 Member
    Options
    My wife and I met online back in 97, I lived in the UK and she was in the US. We did the long distance with 2-3 visits a year for about 3 years until I got my visa and moved to the US and we got married in 2000.

    If both people are committed it will work regardless of distance or how much contact you have but it will not be easy and there will be hard times that you will both have to get through.

    Here is a website I suggest you take a look at if you are serious about moving to the US


    http://www.familybasedimmigration.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?s=9726c18a3505c01806ee283aadc6a674&f=2

    Also as a quick link read through this about 10 times so you have an idea of what it will take to apply and complete the visa process.

    http://www.familybasedimmigration.com/forum/k1visa.php
    Good luck
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Options
    Yes, absolutely, if you work hard for it. I met my girlfriend online last year, and I'm currently in her house at the end of a two week stay after helping redecorate and build furniture for her mother.
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
    Options
    No, they don't work
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    Options
    Yes. My husband spent 2 years away from home due to the military. At first we only saw each other 1-2 times a month then after 8 months that switched to every weekend. Anyway, bottom line is that both have to put in the effort for a relationship to work. He is no longer stationed away from us but yes, we are still together! :)
    Good luck!

Categories