Dear Co-Worker

lilRicki
lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
in Chit-Chat
I would just like to say, I think it's time you retired. You have been wanting to retire for a couple of years now, but I think today is the day. You obviously don't want to be here, you're slacking in all departments, you constantly look out the window with yearning. All you talk about is what you're going to do when you retire. The only thing stopping you is your wife, she doesn't want you to retire until she does...well I say "stuff it". She can retire when she wants to, then she can meet you on the golf course or out for an early supper. But your lack of desire to be here is starting to seriously affect my job. I need you to scan those transmittals and answer the phones when I'm in the bathroom. I need you to file the huge maps that are stacking up and please, for the love of god, can you put the files back when you're done with them? Life is rough, and you've had a good run at this job, time to enjoy the finer things in life so we can hire someone that still NEEDS to work.

Thank-you,

Your co-worker



What would you like to say to your co-worker?
«13

Replies

  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Dear Co-Worker,

    When my eyes begin glazing over after listening to you yammer on about a phone call that you took or a life's event that I never asked you about, please shut-up and leave my office.

    I have pretend people on mfp to attend to. :laugh:

    Sincerely,

    Don't you ever need to take a breath?????? :noway:
  • Foxypoo61287
    Foxypoo61287 Posts: 638 Member
    Dear Co-Worker,

    Your an @ss hole. No one likes you here. Your in your late 50's. You are alone, you will be alone for ever because you think your right and perfect. But in reality your not. If you were a little nicer and didn't come down the stairs and say "Whats up Bi&^h" Maybe I would be a little nicer to you. Oh and another thing, yelling at your computer because your ignorant doesn't fix anything.


    Sincerely,

    The receptionist
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
    This is perfect. I was just wanting to rant.

    Dear Co-Workers,

    When you send me a request and I send it back asking for additional information, escalating the issue to my manager is not going to resolve it any sooner. It will only result in my manager sending it to me to handle and me calling your manager. I need the additional information for a reason. It helps me determine if there is a problem with the vendor or a merchant that I need to have fixed with them. Also, answering an email where I ask you a question with "Thank you" isn't answering anything. Again, it only results in me sending it back to you. I will not resolve your problem unless you provide me with the additional data I need. My manager will not help you. Her manager will not help you and sending an email complaining about the fact that I'm asking for additional information to resolve the issue properly to the person directly under the CEO WILL NOT HELP YOU! There's a reason I need the information. Just send it to me and all will be well. Otherwise it creates way more work for me making me extremely unhappy which just leads to a phone conversation with your manager because you're preventing me from doing my job correctly.

    Thanks,
    The Person Who Has To Deal with All The Vendors And The Issues They Cause
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    Dear Co-worker,
    You know that bribe you took from a client and the fake expense report you asked me to co-sign?
    I told the ethics committee.

    Good luck with that!
    BB
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    Dear Co-worker,

    You just started here - less than a month ago. Stop b!tching about people and complaining to me. I don't want to hear it, plus you should be very careful who you talk badly about. That lady you insulted? She is the Director's sister. Maybe you should consider putting in some years of service before you complain, otherwise suck it up and shut your mouth.

    Also, don't speak to me for the first 30mins of coming in the door. I really don't care that it is cold outside, that you're tired, or you were stuck in traffic. This is my alone time, and I much prefer it without having to hear your annoying voice.

    Oh, and you're not always right.

    Sincerely,
    Annoyed Senior Specialist
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Dear Co-worker,
    You know that bribe you took from a client and the fake expense report you asked me to co-sign?
    I told the ethics committee.

    Good luck with that!
    BB

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    Dear Coworker,

    Please put you shoes back on, your feet smell awful. :sick:

    Dear other Coworker,

    Do you really need to buy KFC Toonie Tuesday every tuesday?
  • BIGJIMMYU
    BIGJIMMYU Posts: 1,221 Member
    I would just like to say, I think it's time you retired. You have been wanting to retire for a couple of years now, but I think today is the day. You obviously don't want to be here, you're slacking in all departments, you constantly look out the window with yearning. All you talk about is what you're going to do when you retire. The only thing stopping you is your wife, she doesn't want you to retire until she does...well I say "stuff it". She can retire when she wants to, then she can meet you on the golf course or out for an early supper. But your lack of desire to be here is starting to seriously affect my job. I need you to scan those transmittals and answer the phones when I'm in the bathroom. I need you to file the huge maps that are stacking up and please, for the love of god, can you put the files back when you're done with them? Life is rough, and you've had a good run at this job, time to enjoy the finer things in life so we can hire someone that still NEEDS to work.

    Thank-you,

    Your co-worker



    What would you like to say to your co-worker?
    Nothing. Working federal government means I would be slapped with a union grievance for Ageism so fast that it would be me getting in poopy.
  • Quarrysider
    Quarrysider Posts: 56 Member
    Dear co workers

    If someone pays a bill while I'm not there, please tell me about it! I hate finding piles of unidentified cash tucked in random drawers. Unless you are secretly running a money laundering operation.

    Thank you

    the bean counter
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
    Dear Male Co-Worker,

    I realize you have been off work for several weeks, but now that you're back I really don't need to hear about the chemical dependencies you have now - especially from 3 offices away. Oh, and when you say "I LIKE D!CK", you may want us to think you're talking about the HR guy's first name, but we all know differently.

    Sincerely,
    SYFM
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I would just like to say, I think it's time you retired. You have been wanting to retire for a couple of years now, but I think today is the day. You obviously don't want to be here, you're slacking in all departments, you constantly look out the window with yearning. All you talk about is what you're going to do when you retire. The only thing stopping you is your wife, she doesn't want you to retire until she does...well I say "stuff it". She can retire when she wants to, then she can meet you on the golf course or out for an early supper. But your lack of desire to be here is starting to seriously affect my job. I need you to scan those transmittals and answer the phones when I'm in the bathroom. I need you to file the huge maps that are stacking up and please, for the love of god, can you put the files back when you're done with them? Life is rough, and you've had a good run at this job, time to enjoy the finer things in life so we can hire someone that still NEEDS to work.

    Thank-you,

    Your co-worker



    What would you like to say to your co-worker?
    Nothing. Working federal government means I would be slapped with a union grievance for Ageism so fast that it would be me getting in poopy.


    It's not ageism when he's the one that wants to retire, and pisses and moans about it constantly...he hates it here, and it's affecting the rest of us.
  • cediyam
    cediyam Posts: 181 Member
    Dear Co-worker
    I doubt that your nails grow that fast so please stop clipping them every 2 days at work. Take care of your grooming at home. Plus, you're the only guy I know who carries nail clippers around.
  • L00py_T0ucan
    L00py_T0ucan Posts: 1,378 Member
    (this is from when I was not freelancing from my house, but actually working in an office full time, pre-recession:)

    Dear Co-Worker,
    I'm SO sorry you seem to be obsessed w/ the emergency snacks that I keep (out of sight) in a drawer at my desk...
    but when you come all the way over to my desk and are too lazy to go get your own snacks or keep some at your desk,
    what exactly do you mean by, 'Your problem is that you keep food at your desk" ?

    I don't have a problem w/ food at my desk. My actual problem is that you keep criticizing AND wanting to eat the food at my desk.

    You can either have some of my food or criticize it, but don't do BOTH! :noway: :explode:

    Sincerely,
    Your Co-Worker

    - - - -

    PS: I never forced my emergency snack food on anyone - it's just funny that people wanted my snack food once they knew about it, but they also complained about it. WTF? They weren't emergency cupcakes, they were emergency granola bars , nuts or rice crackers, etc.
  • BIGJIMMYU
    BIGJIMMYU Posts: 1,221 Member
    I would just like to say, I think it's time you retired. You have been wanting to retire for a couple of years now, but I think today is the day. You obviously don't want to be here, you're slacking in all departments, you constantly look out the window with yearning. All you talk about is what you're going to do when you retire. The only thing stopping you is your wife, she doesn't want you to retire until she does...well I say "stuff it". She can retire when she wants to, then she can meet you on the golf course or out for an early supper. But your lack of desire to be here is starting to seriously affect my job. I need you to scan those transmittals and answer the phones when I'm in the bathroom. I need you to file the huge maps that are stacking up and please, for the love of god, can you put the files back when you're done with them? Life is rough, and you've had a good run at this job, time to enjoy the finer things in life so we can hire someone that still NEEDS to work.

    Thank-you,

    Your co-worker



    What would you like to say to your co-worker?
    Nothing. Working federal government means I would be slapped with a union grievance for Ageism so fast that it would be me getting in poopy.


    It's not ageism when he's the one that wants to retire, and pisses and moans about it constantly...he hates it here, and it's affecting the rest of us.
    100% agreed. But I still couldn't say anything. Cover my *kitten*. You know how some people can surprise you.
  • digitalyssa
    digitalyssa Posts: 112 Member
    Dear Co-Worker,

    Why do you close your door everytime someone somes and talks to me in *MY* office next door? Do you hate the sound of my voice that much? Well guess what, maybe I don't like your voice much either.

    Yours Truely,

    The perfectly normal co-worker next door.
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    Dear Co-Worker,

    You are awesome and amazing and I am so lucky to have amazing people to work with each day!

    Sincerely,
    Bitties

    :flowerforyou:
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
    Dear Co-Worker,

    You don't have to go to the doctors every time you cough.

    P.s. Stop slacking, and being lazy
  • russeljames
    russeljames Posts: 103 Member
    Dear Co-Worker,

    i am truly just waiting for the chance to push you down the steps and make it look like an accident....
  • Elen_Sia
    Elen_Sia Posts: 638 Member
    Dear Co-Workers,

    Thank you so much for putting up with my really loud music and sub-woofer every day because you accept that's the only way I do my best work here. :heart:

    Sincerely,
    That Crazy Minority
  • butterfliespink
    butterfliespink Posts: 121
    Dear Co-Worker

    Could you PLEASE stop speaking so loudly? I can hear you over my phone call AND my stereo. Your voice grates on my nerves. Also, please stop complaining about your financial issues. WE ALL HAVE THEM! we are in a recession. And if you managed your funds better you could afford to eat out instead of mooching off everyone else who PAYS for their food. One last thing, you really can't sing that well. I know you think you can, but honestly, you can't. So please stop singing every song that you hear on the radio!

    Sincerely,
    Fed up and frustrated!!
  • NittanyLion95
    NittanyLion95 Posts: 65
    Dear Co-worker
    I doubt that your nails grow that fast so please stop clipping them every 2 days at work. Take care of your grooming at home. Plus, you're the only guy I know who carries nail clippers around.
    OMG this happened to me too...I got HIT with a trimming once too! YUCK!
  • JanineHarrison
    JanineHarrison Posts: 164 Member
    I'm not going to add one, but I will get enjoyment out of reading yours. :laugh:
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Dear Co-worker,
    You know that bribe you took from a client and the fake expense report you asked me to co-sign?
    I told the ethics committee.

    Good luck with that!
    BB

    :laugh: :laugh:

    Oh snap!
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Dear Co-Workers,

    You are all incredibly smart and interesting people. Despite the days that work just is, well, work, you guys are all great to work with and I have learned so much from all of you. There is even someone who makes sure the coffee is made before I get into my office each morning.

    Thank you.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    Dear Co-Worker,

    When my eyes begin glazing over after listening to you yammer on about a phone call that you took or a life's event that I never asked you about, please shut-up and leave my office.

    I have pretend people on mfp to attend to. :laugh:

    Sincerely,

    Don't you ever need to take a breath?????? :noway:


    Pretend people? Like imaginary friends?
  • mem1086
    mem1086 Posts: 136 Member
    This is perfect. I was just wanting to rant.

    Dear Co-Workers,

    When you send me a request and I send it back asking for additional information, escalating the issue to my manager is not going to resolve it any sooner. It will only result in my manager sending it to me to handle and me calling your manager. I need the additional information for a reason. It helps me determine if there is a problem with the vendor or a merchant that I need to have fixed with them. Also, answering an email where I ask you a question with "Thank you" isn't answering anything. Again, it only results in me sending it back to you. I will not resolve your problem unless you provide me with the additional data I need. My manager will not help you. Her manager will not help you and sending an email complaining about the fact that I'm asking for additional information to resolve the issue properly to the person directly under the CEO WILL NOT HELP YOU! There's a reason I need the information. Just send it to me and all will be well. Otherwise it creates way more work for me making me extremely unhappy which just leads to a phone conversation with your manager because you're preventing me from doing my job correctly.

    Thanks,
    The Person Who Has To Deal with All The Vendors And The Issues They Cause

    OMG!! I think you are in my department!!! LOL! I have had that exact same rant in my mind! So happy we are not alone!
  • Corryn78
    Corryn78 Posts: 215
    Dear co-workers,

    This is not choir, marching band or any other type of rhythm, sound or percussion related activity. Whistling the same tune, snapping fingers and marching around in general are not appreciated.

    Thank you,

    Irritated by the sounds.
  • Cindym82
    Cindym82 Posts: 1,245 Member
    Dear Co-worker:

    I get that this is not your "dream" job. But don't slack on stuff and tell me you're too busy when I watch you walk past my desk every hour to go in the breakroom and make tea, and while you're in there you gab for 20mins. Also, don't say you want to change your hours from 8-4 to 7:30-3:30 and than come in and eat breakfast for 30mins on the clock and take an hour lunch. And while I'm at it, thanks for f-ing up my whole job while I was out for surgery when I made it dumby proof and when I ask you what happened you just shrug and go i don't know. Women!!! You know what you did!!!! And it takes me 10days to clean up your mess...... :mad: :explode: :angry:

    Love;
    The over-worked assistant
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Dear Co-Worker,

    Why do you close your door everytime someone somes and talks to me in *MY* office next door? Do you hate the sound of my voice that much? Well guess what, maybe I don't like your voice much either.

    Yours Truely,

    The perfectly normal co-worker next door.

    LOL. I work with one of those, too. He's super passive aggressive and loves to act like whatever he is doing is more important than what anyone else is doing. Oh, and he's a killjoy, too. God forbid anyone in the office be having fun. If you do, that calls for his door to be slammed rather than just being closed. Sucks to be that miserable, I'm sure.
  • 44by44th
    44by44th Posts: 289 Member
    Dear Co-Worker,

    Just because we work in an office of all men doesn't mean it's ok to cuss & swear like a longshoreman everytime you open your mouth. Today you used the f word more times before 9:00 am than I've used it in the last year. Everyone else communicates professionally, why can't YOU?

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