Intimidating?

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Replies

  • lilstarz2284
    lilstarz2284 Posts: 28
    I have the same problem...I'm really shy and pretty self-conscious and people often take that the wrong way. They think that because I'm skinny and blonde that I must be full of myself. Definetly not the case. Once people get to know me they realize that I'm really down to earth. I have a hard time making friends because I don't always feel cormfortable going up to people I don't know and apparently I give off the wrong vibe so people don't always feel comfortable coming up to me either. Its definetly really frustrating. People need to remember the old saying .."don't judge a book by its cover" cheesy,yes, but very true. If people are going to make a snap judgement without making an effort to get to know the real you then screw em..don't let it get you down!
  • Sp1nGoddess
    Sp1nGoddess Posts: 1,134 Member
    Maybe it's because your standing on your head...
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 743 Member
    JenAiMarres - both men I have dated. There's definitely an attraction with both.

    Definitly a compliment...they are just stating that they find you beautiful, intriguing, mysterious...a hard nut to crack...and honestly theres no other way to be!! LOL!
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    I am super quiet and I've been told some people find that intimidating. Apparently they worry I'm thinking bad things about them because I don't talk much. I guess I understand that, but there's nothing I can do about it. It's just in my nature.
  • TanyaCurtis
    TanyaCurtis Posts: 630
    People have said the same about me! I'm one of the nicest people u could meet lol :'(
  • jentarver
    jentarver Posts: 192
    I hear the same stuff. And things like (from people that have known me forever) that they would never want me made at them. Which I don't understand, since I usually avoid conflict by talking and finding solutions and what not.
    But I don't take it personally at all.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    If it bothers you that much, ask them exactly how they find you intimidating. Sitting here guessing the worst possibility's not going to help.

    Plenty of people tell me I look intimidating because I appear to be frowning (I have discoloration on the corners of my mouth so it makes it appear like I'm frowning) I don't speak unless spoken to and some things I wear can be off-putting. I've had people think I'm a b*tch or a lesbian or this or that and that's why they don't approach me and that's fine. To some people no matter what you'll appear as what you aren't. It's like how some people just hate you based off of looks or clothes or whatnot. If it's a genuine problem, then fix it. If it's something you have no control over, then don't worry about it.
  • quink77
    quink77 Posts: 87 Member
    Yes, perhaps the upside-down thing has something to do with it! :wink:

    I guess another part of me wonders why I give a crap what the think. I know who I am. I'm freaking 35 -- this crap shouldn't matter anymore!!

    But I do. And I wonder if it's affecting other areas of my life. One of the guys who told me that, also gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech last summer. Admittedly, it WAS him (still in love with his ex), but it does plant a seed of doubt.
  • quink77
    quink77 Posts: 87 Member
    I have the same problem...I'm really shy and pretty self-conscious and people often take that the wrong way. They think that because I'm skinny and blonde that I must be full of myself. Definetly not the case. Once people get to know me they realize that I'm really down to earth. I have a hard time making friends because I don't always feel cormfortable going up to people I don't know and apparently I give off the wrong vibe so people don't always feel comfortable coming up to me either. Its definetly really frustrating. People need to remember the old saying .."don't judge a book by its cover" cheesy,yes, but very true. If people are going to make a snap judgement without making an effort to get to know the real you then screw em..don't let it get you down!

    EXACTLY!!! My motto in life has always been that we're all doing the best with the hand that we have been dealt. I try really REALLY hard not to judge anyone else on their journey. Stereotypes suck.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    I see myself as the wallflower. I'm more of an introvert...


    this could be the vibe you put out, then and not at all about your personality. Was this ever mentioned before the divorce or only after? Maybe you've put up a wall?
  • BrienJD
    BrienJD Posts: 541 Member
    Two male, one female.

    I don't think it was that I offended anyone.

    From a male standpoint attractive women can be perceived as intimidating. Someone who has looks, smarts, self confidence and assertiveness are also treated derentially by either sex
  • prettylyzard
    prettylyzard Posts: 98 Member
    Maybe you just radiate inner strength! They're intimidated by your confidence!
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
    Take the 3 of them out, get them drunk and ask them WTH they were talking about. Had a co-worker tell me (while intoxicated) that he found me attractive and that intimidated him because he was shy and doesn't know how to talk to women. All this time, I just thought he was a prick!
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
    Spin this into a positive by taking it as a compliment!
  • quink77
    quink77 Posts: 87 Member
    I wonder what other attitudes I'm throwing off without realizing it.... Maybe I should surround myself with friends who will be brutally honest with me all the time.
  • charlesb22
    charlesb22 Posts: 110 Member
    I'm a very quiet shy person, and people often think (and are happy to tell me) that I'm stuck up and a *****...because I'm too nervous to talk to them! It makes it even harder to speak up.
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 743 Member
    Take the 3 of them out, get them drunk and ask them WTH they were talking about. Had a co-worker tell me (while intoxicated) that he found me attractive and that intimidated him because he was shy and doesn't know how to talk to women. All this time, I just thought he was a prick!
    Haha!! Good idea!

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