Should I seek professional HELP?!?
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If you have to ask, you probably already know the answer. Get some help, you'll feel much better after you do. Are you nervous to go get some help? You won't necessarily end up in the hospital, but you will get the help you need to be healthy!
I feel like I'm not skinny enough to have an ED and that I'm just a poser...
I keep telling myself I'm fine and that I shouldn't be such a wimp
ED has nothing to do with how skinny you are. Being ultra skinny is sometimes a symptom of an ED, not the cause.
Exactly this. Please make sure that you at least make an appointment to talk this out with a professional. I am sure enlisting a therapist would help you work out a lot of the issues if you are apprehensive about approaching a facility.0 -
I'll be praying for you. You seem pretty intelligent and aware of what you are doing to yourself. Please get some help immediately before you cannot distinguish anymore and destroy yourself. Every day you continue this lifestyle you are one step closer to full blown self destruction. This is a serious issue and a deadly one. Don't do this to yourself....you are worth so much more and should live a happy healthy life. You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. I pray you make the right choice. Choose life! God bless you.0
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There is also another thing that makes me doubt whether my case is serious enough to seek help or not... and that is the fact that since I (sort of) told my mom (Who is a psychologist and specialized in EDs) wouldn't she have wanted me to come home is this was serious enough? Or wouldn't she have told me to see someone here, instead of waiting two months?0
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First of all I wanna thank you all SO MUCH for replying. I'm happy I started this thread.
Second I gotta tell you another part of my problem: I'm an exchange student. I'm momentarely doing Senior Year in High School and I live with a host family. This also makes me afraid of what will happen when I would seek help.. because I don't wanna go home before then end of the program. I don't wanna tell my hostmom either, because I'm afraid she won't understand or will not wanna deal with it and that I have to go home.
I saw my own mom for 2 weeks over Spring Break wen she came to visit me. I gave lots of hints and talked oenly about my thoughts and views. Since she is specialized in treating Eating Disorders I tought she would be right on it... talking me out if it. But she didn't.. She did ask a lot about my eating habits and my views on my own body, but she didn't do anything like "talking me out of it" or anything..she seemed more..observant. Of course I don't know if that's maybe the best way to treat a person with an ED (you know..not getting on their back) but for me... well... let's say I expected more, also because she's my mom of course.
I'm sorry I replied so late, I'm at a Track and Field meet ATM.
I would really appreciate anyone replying to the further information I just wrote down...
You might not like my tone, but get your priorities straight. You are putting your body in danger, period. End of Story. Fixing this is more important than any of the stuff you just listed, by a big margin.
Get help, now.
So you thing 2 more month on 600-800 kcal will get to me?m Are there other people who eat way less than that?
Ughh... Like I said.. sometimes I feel like such a poser >.<
i think it definitely will take a toll on you, especially as active as you say you are. The longer you allow yourself to go down that road, the harder it's going to be to get yourself straightened out. You're in a fortunate position right now because you still seem healthy and you have the chance to stop this before you start to destroy your health, and you're smart and honest enough to recognize the danger of the path you've started down. Give yourself credit for that, it takes some people years to get to that understanding, and usually after they've done serious damage to themselves, not before.
Check around at whatever university you're going to. Chances are good that there is some sort of student health program, they might offer some kind of counseling for you until you get back home and can settle into some more permanent situation. And I'd advise talking to your mother about it. Maybe even just copy your initial post and send it to her. It could be that she does see what is happening but is allowing for the possibility that it's stress or something from being in a strange country, etc. It sounds like your mother is in a unique position to help you find the help you need once you get home, but you need to lay it out for her just as you've done here.
Good luck.0 -
There is a reason that doctors and psychologist are ethically forbidden from treating family and friends....
Also, I was at a healthy bmi and had an ed. You are not eating enough for your body to function properly, and it throws off your thinking and emotions. I tought that what i was doing to myself was the way to make myself happy and it was the oppposite. After seeking treatment, I did learn healthy ways to stay in great shape...Im pregnant now, which is a whole different ball game, but you can have what you want. A happy, healthy, and long life, but not this way. It took me a long time to seek treatment, and i had a lot of the same doubts you do, but I am so thankful that I sought help. I can't tell you how much it helped lift the weight that I put on myself, but go!!! See for yourself. Try at least once please and see what happens from there. I promise you that it will be scary, but you will come out happier and clearer minded.0 -
I also understand feeling like a poser because you think you are nowhere near as bad as others with an ed, but let someone help you out of what you are putting yourself through. This chapter of your life can go so much better for you if you let someone help you out of the hole. Tell a therapist about your feelings. When i went in, I knew I felt sort of depressed and i hated my body. I went in to talk about my feelings and I was in such denial that the ed was the root of it, but she helped me. Just take the steps you need to take to go in once and see what therapist says. Ask him or her if they think you have an ed or not. .0
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You have issues.
Seek help.
Before you die.0 -
Just one last question: I'm SO cold all the time. When people are walking around in shorts and t-shirts I'll still be freezing in a big sweatshirt and jeans.... I guess I already know the question to this one too, but... would that have anything to do with my eating habits?0
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please get help0
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There is also another thing that makes me doubt whether my case is serious enough to seek help or not... and that is the fact that since I (sort of) told my mom (Who is a psychologist and specialized in EDs) wouldn't she have wanted me to come home is this was serious enough? Or wouldn't she have told me to see someone here, instead of waiting two months?
You're not a patient, you're her daughter. That brings a whole lot of messy dynamics into the situation that she won't have with any other patient. She might THINK she sees that you have a problem, but be worried that she's making more of it than is really there because you're her child and she's being overprotective. She might be unconsciously resisting seeing what is going on because she IS a specialist in that field and couldn't keep her own child from an ED (thus seeing it as a failure on her part). You just can't know what she is thinking unless you talk to her, really tell her what you've told us here so that there is no possibility of misunderstanding. It's going to be very easy for you say "oh, my mom is an ED specialist and she hasn't said anything to me," but you can't allow yourself that excuse.
You really don't want to wait until the situation gets really serious, do you? If a friend said to you"Hey, I noticed this funny lump that wasn't there last week," would your answer be "Eh, it's not that big, don't worry about it until it's as big as a baseball?" No, you wouldn't. You'd tell her to go to the doctor right away.0 -
If you had to ask you know the answer. There are many EDs not just overly thin people have them. You think people get to be 600 or 800 lbs and need surgeries because they have a healthy relationship with food. Get help and save yourself adult years of yo yo dieting and self loathing. It isn't healthy and how wonderful of you that you are reasonable to know what you are doing is unhealthy. That is amazing in itself. Now please go see a nutritionist and a doc.0
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Been there, done that. I was in treatment/hospital for 3 months when I was 17. Unlike you though, I never had these thoughts. I was skinny and that was just the way it was. I never thought about food. I didn't purge. I just never ate. Seek the help of a professional who is experienced with ED's. The fact that you see there is a problem will be a big help in your recovery. Wishing you the best. :flowerforyou:0
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Please do see a therapist. You're far too wonderful to kill yourself with an eating disorder. I'm not all that keen with my body either, but I have a lot of people who love me and don't give a flying fig what I look like. I'm sure you have people like that in your life too. Try to see yourself through their eyes - and get rid of your mirror and your scale. Eat healthy, exercise to feel good, but don't punish yourself!0
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I'm afraid I have an Eating Disorder and I know this is best cured the sooner it's treated.
I've done a few tests online and they all tell me I have an ED, besides that I can also tell you myself that my eating pattern isn't normal.
First of all: I Love FOOD!
But I don't like my body...and ever since I've started trying to lose weight I started disliking food. Not for its taste, but for how it makes me feel when I put it in my mouth. I feel disgusted with myself/my body when I eat, therefor I've started eating less and less...
Some facts
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 130-132 lbs
Highest Weight: 148 lbs (Last Christmas)
Age: 18
I know my body needs food, but since I didn't lose any weight eating 1200 kcal a day I decided it was time for more "restrictions"
Now I'm down to eating as few calories as possible while still kinda eating 3 meals a day.. this comes down to 600-800 kcal a day. Besides that I work out 5 days a week by doing Track and Field(at least 1.5 hours) and most times I add exercise to the weekends too.. When I don't exercise I feel like a failure...
Some things I do that worry me: I use laxatives, I've started purging recently, I try to postpone eating as long as possible (so that I maybe am able to have a previous meal counting as a current meal), I weigh myself every day, I hate eating in front of other people, I know the calories of everything and I'm already planning my meals far ahead of time.
I know I'm going in the wrong direction and I don't want too... I don't wanna end up being a skeleton, I don't wanna end up in the hospital... I used to love eating, but now I'm obsessed with it...especially with how NOT to eat or get rid of it...
The only side of me that's telling me not to post this message is the side of me that knows if this keeps going: I WILL BE SKINNY...
Help Me?...
I weight 148 : / I'm 5'5....definitely seek some counseling. There is something going on that is beyond your food it is much deeper. There is a control issue that is causing you to fixate on food much like a phobia. There is something call orthorexia, google the mtv true life episode "I have orthorexia." I have always been a binge eater and struggle with the cycle of starving then bingeing. After I joining mfp I have become fixated with healthy foods and exercise and feel very guilty when I eat things I shouldn't. Most people with anorexia generally are born with that, it is dormant in their brain and comes out when trauma occurs. Orthorexia has a different dynamic to it that sortive develops. It is possible to be completely healthy even if you are afraid of seeking help because it can feel invasive. Just make sure you keep mfp's that are healthy and working toward the same goal as you. Stay away from the users that have ED's and use mfp as a way to control their eating even more. Definitely stop the purge by god you are gonna mess your teeth and throat up!! Talk to your family it is best to TALK about this with your family so that they can help support you. Whatever you do please start some therapy this can definitely spiral out of control. Just by posting you are taking a positive step.0 -
I would suggest getting help, talk to your school counselor, they should be able to point you in the right direction. Essentially Eating Disorders aren't completely about food, but more about control, anxiety, and are a really bad coping mechanism. Its important to get help before you DO hit that point where you're "too skinny" (80% or less of your suggested body weight for your height, which at that point is a MEDICAL emergency) don't get to that point, its not good. The use of laxatives and purging definitely are not good either and can REALLY REALLY mess up your body. Don't be afraid to ask for help. As far as mental illness there is a continuum that most people fall on, some people have mild depression, some people have it so severe they become psychotic, while others become suicidal, some people have anxiety in certain situations, some people have it all the time, and others have it so bad they can't leave the house. It varies, just like it does with eating disorders, and if you're concerned and realizing the symptoms you need to get help before you stop realizing the symptoms and it gets to far. In treatment they will help you learn alternative healthy coping techniques and you will work with a nutritionist who will help set up a healthy eating plan for you to to maintain the weight/size that is ideal for your frame.0
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You are not a failure if you need help! We all need help at times. What you have is a problem that you can not solve on your own. That does not make you a failure. You are smart enough to realize that you need help, so please get the help you need right away. Please get help!0
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First of all I wanna thank you all SO MUCH for replying. I'm happy I started this thread.
Second I gotta tell you another part of my problem: I'm an exchange student. I'm momentarely doing Senior Year in High School and I live with a host family. This also makes me afraid of what will happen when I would seek help.. because I don't wanna go home before then end of the program. I don't wanna tell my hostmom either, because I'm afraid she won't understand or will not wanna deal with it and that I have to go home.
I saw my own mom for 2 weeks over Spring Break wen she came to visit me. I gave lots of hints and talked oenly about my thoughts and views. Since she is specialized in treating Eating Disorders I tought she would be right on it... talking me out if it. But she didn't.. She did ask a lot about my eating habits and my views on my own body, but she didn't do anything like "talking me out of it" or anything..she seemed more..observant. Of course I don't know if that's maybe the best way to treat a person with an ED (you know..not getting on their back) but for me... well... let's say I expected more, also because she's my mom of course.
I'm sorry I replied so late, I'm at a Track and Field meet ATM.
I would really appreciate anyone replying to the further information I just wrote down...
That's exactly what I was saying. I can see how this will dampen your attempts to seek help for fear of messing up your school career. I'm sure you are an exceptional student. I would hope that you could discuss this personally and privately with the hostmom and that she would have some compassion so to not cause you to go home. Please stop purging! I would strongly suggest speaking with the school social worker. This is the best place to start and speak confidentially, my high school social worker was very supportive of students and their situations. You are most likely feeling somewhat out of control with your life so you focus on the food. I wish you the best of luck. People here on this site are very supportive and sometimes we just need someone to talk to.0 -
I'm sure I'm going to get some flack by stating this but...
WHY do people post things asking for advice, etc and then make excuses and/or defend against what THEY originally posted to begin with?
Whether it be heading toward a problem or some confusion, you obv. thought there was some problem in where your MIND is heading regarding your weight loss... So, if you CARE enough about yourself, then at least get some advice from a professional (not your mother who would prob be the last to notice anyway, sorry... it's the truth... Most family members and close friends don't see a problem or are in denial of it) to sort it all out....
And please, stop using the word "poser"... it's not being used correctly.... The question maybe, but not yourself.0 -
My only advice:
If you think you need help, you need help.
I have never met someone (including myself) that has found a decent counselor and not been happy with the results.
Yes, this comes from someone that is very interested in counseling as a profession, but it also shows that I know the field and the fact that you are having negative thoughts is a warning sign. Be proactive and deal with something before it gets worse.0 -
I went through EXACTLY the same thing when I was younger. I didn't get any professional help and I became underweight and then a few months after I became overweight (not good for the body). My metabolism sucks now and it's very hard for me to lose weight. You should get some help. When you know it's a problem it can be treated easier0
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I think you're doing the right thing by seeking help.
The idea that you are a 'failure' at having an ED just because you are not viciously underweight is EXTREMELY common among sufferers, so don't feel like this is something that will be a shock to any counselor or doctor you see. It's normal for people with extreme tendencies (such as severe food restriction) to also be very focused on results and achieving perfection.
Try thinking of it the opposite way - the easy way out is to follow the same behavioural pattern that leads you to strive to succeed at having the very best example of an ED ever (I've been there, it's a real thing, even though it sounds insanely stupid). To have those same feelings but be actively managing your thought process so that you are not dangerously underweight is actually far harder, and is far more of a real success.
Please go and see your doctor or whichever professional you choose. You are not a failure, you are a huge success for not letting the ED consume you.0 -
If you have to ask, you probably already know the answer. Get some help, you'll feel much better after you do. Are you nervous to go get some help? You won't necessarily end up in the hospital, but you will get the help you need to be healthy!
I feel like I'm not skinny enough to have an ED and that I'm just a poser...
I keep telling myself I'm fine and that I shouldn't be such a wimp
eating disorders don't always present themselves physically. they are very much hidden in MANY cases. and the fact that you don't think you are skinny enough is a sign.0 -
There is also another thing that makes me doubt whether my case is serious enough to seek help or not... and that is the fact that since I (sort of) told my mom (Who is a psychologist and specialized in EDs) wouldn't she have wanted me to come home is this was serious enough? Or wouldn't she have told me to see someone here, instead of waiting two months?
You're not a patient, you're her daughter. That brings a whole lot of messy dynamics into the situation that she won't have with any other patient. She might THINK she sees that you have a problem, but be worried that she's making more of it than is really there because you're her child and she's being overprotective. She might be unconsciously resisting seeing what is going on because she IS a specialist in that field and couldn't keep her own child from an ED (thus seeing it as a failure on her part). You just can't know what she is thinking unless you talk to her, really tell her what you've told us here so that there is no possibility of misunderstanding. It's going to be very easy for you say "oh, my mom is an ED specialist and she hasn't said anything to me," but you can't allow yourself that excuse.
You really don't want to wait until the situation gets really serious, do you? If a friend said to you"Hey, I noticed this funny lump that wasn't there last week," would your answer be "Eh, it's not that big, don't worry about it until it's as big as a baseball?" No, you wouldn't. You'd tell her to go to the doctor right away.
Thanks for your example, that's pretty accurate0 -
Ok I am sorry but I have read alll the posts on here and there is MORE then enough people telling you that you need help and you know you need the help as well you recognise it and that is fantastic....
Point is and ED is like drugs, alcohol or anything else that is addicting you can keep making excuses or having questions but the reality of it is until YOU are ready to make a change your not going to....... soooooo with that being said MAKE the change..... we can tell you all day long and in 10000 posts but if your not ready then you won't do it.......Just DO it !!!
Start at your school and get some info. from your counselor and I am sure there are some FREEEEEE nutritionist and programs out there to help you......
Wishing you the best of luck!!0 -
This statement about the need for control fits perfectly with an ED. Please seek help to save your health.0
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I'm sure I'm going to get some flack by stating this but...
WHY do people post things asking for advice, etc and then make excuses and/or defend against what THEY originally posted to begin with?
Whether it be heading toward a problem or some confusion, you obv. thought there was some problem in where your MIND is heading regarding your weight loss... So, if you CARE enough about yourself, then at least get some advice from a professional (not your mother who would prob be the last to notice anyway, sorry... it's the truth... Most family members and close friends don't see a problem or are in denial of it) to sort it all out....
And please, stop using the word "poser"... it's not being used correctly.... The question maybe, but not yourself.
I know you're right... But my first post was 8 hours ago.. In the meantime I was too weak not too binge, strong enough not to purge and now the other side of me ( the side that desperatly wants to be skinny) hating me again for what I ate and didn't purge... So I guess it's also that side now trying to convince myself that I don't need help (since I just ate lots)
P.s. English isn't my first language... So when I used the word "poser" I thought that would be the best translation... But maybe "faker" or "wanna be" is better? I don't really know...0 -
You are doing the right thing by asking. That you need help is very, very plain. Sometimes it's harder to see it for yourself. I've been there, not for ED, (I've got that beat
) but for some personal issues in my first marriage. I look back now and it was plain as day that I should have sought help. All the classic warning signs, my own cries for help. Yeah, it's plain now, but it wasn't then.
That's where you are right now. Get the help, move past this, and help someone else down the line. There is no shame in it.0 -
Hey Babe don't be so hard on yourself
but you really should google about EDs and see if theres a help center with daily meeting near by... also there are websites with help hotlines too... I have seen many downfalls with EDs with a lot of my friends one of my firends is currently hospitalized because of it another is having to do heart tests from purging so much... EDs mess up your body and no matter what you will always have to face the consequences of a torn body
I'm glad youre noticing these things early on and want to get help... losing weight is hard especially when people around you arent too conscious and dont seem to understand what you are going through are trying to accomplish you shouldnt let them knock you down stay healthy and stay fit!!! Call the hotline and get help immediately
Dont end up like my friends in the hospital or being stuck to a heart monitor for a day to see if your heart beats are normal
Do the right thing GET HELP and we're all here for you and proud of you for being able to share this with everyone we know its a hard thing to talk about
Best of luck and keep us all updated
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You seem to be very aware that you have a problem, but you seem to have a bigger fear of confronting it, and maybe your mother has the same fear of confronting it. However, if you keep up your current habits, you are going to wear your body down until it's 6 ft under ground.
If you seek professional help here and then go home in a couple of months and have to start over again, you know what? SO BE IT! It's worth the effort because you're worth the effort. If your mother saw you were in need of help and said nothing it's probably because she's in denial, but you KNOW you need help. YOU know and YOU have to be the first one to make a move towards seeking help.
You're not a failure, you're just human. Humans make mistakes, they can be self-destructive, but they can also be courageous. I challenge you to find the courage within yourself to face your fear of seeking help, and get help!0 -
I know I'm going in the wrong direction and I don't want too... I don't wanna end up being a skeleton, I don't wanna end up in the hospital... I used to love eating, but now I'm obsessed with it...especially with how NOT to eat or get rid of it...
The only side of me that's telling me not to post this message is the side of me that knows if this keeps going: I WILL BE SKINNY...
Help Me?...
If this keeps going: YOU WILL BE DEAD OR IN THE HOSPITAL. Get help asap.0
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