black ladies in here

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  • Shfiftyfive
    Shfiftyfive Posts: 261
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    I guess I'm black or hispanic because I love me some hips and a**.
  • garlic7girl
    garlic7girl Posts: 2,236 Member
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    Maybe it is regional but I will go out on a limb...I have always grown up with blk men that said they did not like SKINNY and wanted meat. Funny when I first lost wt I got down to 130 and I was told I looked too skinny! When I gained to 145 that is when the men started hollering and told me I looked so much better! LOL! Of course, we all know general likes dislikes etc but I work with cultures all over the world! I have learned a lot and some cultures do like different types of body types in their women. Not being racist just cultural preferences. Some folks stay in the cultural zone some don't....bottom line it is all in what a person likes.
  • Stasha17
    Stasha17 Posts: 28
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    It depends. Plenty of my friends and family encourage me on my journey to be healthy and lose weight. But yes its always that one person that say "dont get to skinny on me now". I believe it is a culture thing. I know that a "healthy", "big boned" (Thats what we call us in Oklahoma) woman may be more excepted in the Black culture than others. But in 2012 its about health, the tables are turning and we have notice that excessive weight has cause so many problems in our families i.e. High blood pressure, diabetes,etc. So although being plus size is accepted its not a good thing. I personally love my curves, but I dont want to be a amputie trying to keep them.
  • majones_orl
    majones_orl Posts: 195 Member
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    I have not read the newspaper article, so there maybe something there. During the days when I was going out to clubs and such, black men were not looking for women with curves, I can testify to that. Now i see the same thing. Either I must be traveling in a small circle or the article has a small circle.

    I think men may want women with curves, whatever size they are. I have seen articles which says the average size woman is a size 14, not the thin models we see in commercials.

    That being said, not sure who those men chatting about women with curves, but I have not seen those men any where round.

    It is all relavites, we all have different taste, likes and dislikes. Each to his own.
  • Precious75134
    Precious75134 Posts: 85 Member
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    I know this is sort of off topic but it's still about black women...I know a lot of black women prefer not to workout because of their hair sweating out...I used to think, my goodness why would this be a problem and why would it stop you from getting healthier...Well...since I've been working out, I now see what they mean...I can't do anything with my hair, it's as wet as if I had been in the shower after I'm done...Go to the salon, money wasted because hair is sweated out the next day...Going to have to spend more money to get braids...So now I can see why a lot of black women don't wan to deal with working out...
  • ★Fitness_Barbie★
    ★Fitness_Barbie★ Posts: 35
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    I didn't read all of these so maybe this has been said. My experience with this topic has been white guys attempting to be durogatory about black men. The particular people that say that always seem to be the type who say they aren't racist even though no one asks
  • BADGIRLstl
    BADGIRLstl Posts: 473 Member
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    I think this may have some truth to it. Great debate if nothing else.
  • kmaddox1969
    kmaddox1969 Posts: 30 Member
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    :smile:
    My husband is all for weight loss, but of course he would like some weight to remain in certain areas. I have talked to some black women who have actually said that they didn't want to lose their flabby stomach because it would mean they would lose some of their booty too. I thought that was just crazy!


    :heart:
    Agreed mine is too and has been supportive of every gimmack I have ever failed with. This time it is different...3 weeks in and 6 pounds down.... he is seeing a different side of me and he is being very supportive. Yes we are women of all shapes and sizes and I don't know anyone who walks around saying I love big fat and overweight.....
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    I am pretty sure there are white guys that love all shapes and sizes and black guys that love all shapes and sizes too.

    Individual preferences.

    When I was skinny (no curves, no nothing).... I seemed to have a positive reaction (not alot though) from guys black/white, etc...than when I gained 50ish pounds, not so much.....

    Once again individual preferences...

    I really don't know what to say under this topic......:indifferent:

    ETA: I dont know if it is just me, but I just don't like the word "stereotype"..... Random I know
  • fluffysexyme
    fluffysexyme Posts: 104 Member
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    In my experiences it depends on the person. I've always had men (of all races) that loved me for me not for my curves. Don't get me wrong, the curves are what attracted 'em! lol But, it never detracted from the relationship if I got bigger or smaller. I think it's not about the men as much as comfort. If he's comfortable with you and you don't want to change, then who cares! I'm the type that if I am uncomfortable with me, then I change it. If you want to be with me you will be if I'm fat, chubby, thick, skinny, etc... However I will add this: My father does not like when my mother goes on diets. He does purposely brings home her favorite foods to sabotage her. I had an ex a few ex's ago that did the same thing.
  • lizsharlow
    lizsharlow Posts: 15
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    oh my god, this is ridiculous!! men talk trash with their friends all the time, you can't believe everything they say, and it sounds like yall were drunk. I don't know any black man that likes a fat woman or any black women that's not on a diet or exercise plan trying to loose weight to be healthy or look good, and I know a lot of black men and women. I am a black woman. I don't know how many black women the New York Post knows, I would say not many.
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,449 Member
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    I think all men have slightly unrealistic expectations. Either you need to have big breasts and a tiny waist and flat belly. Or curvy hips, a big butt and a tiny waist and flat belly. Or both.

    What they don't mention is that nobody wants you to have a big belly. ;) (Even though some curves are more likely to come attached with a less slim waist)
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I personally know a lot of men (black and white) who get very upset when their woman talks about getting thin . These men are not getting upset because they "prefer" thick women, they get upset because they use their women's weight (and the way the woman feels about herself) as a way to control them. I'm not saying all guys do this, this has just been my personal experience. Also, just to clarify I'm not talking about just black women either. These men I'm talking about are abusers though, usually in more than one way.

    Edit to say , yes I realize I am not black lol

    Patriarchal misogynistic jerks!!

    More seriously...this is related to this thread...how? The thread isn't about abuse. It's not about controlling women. It's about cultural differences.

    It would have been just as pointless to come in and say that a lot of men don't want their women to get thinner because they're too lazy to do something about their own weight issues.

    Or...

    A lot of men don't want their women to get thinner because of their own negative self image, and insecurity...which would be magnified by a thinner, more attractive wife/girlfriend.

    And...neither would have been any more valid than your point, about abusive men.
    Well thanks for your input , I guess I should go back to making sammiches since the big man doesn't think my opinion is valid.

    Good girl.

    Easy on the antifreeze this time though, please and thank you. It's giving me heartburn.
    I'll use bleach next time , fix that heart burn right up :)

    Ahh, the joys of a battle of wits with a young lady who hasn't even been out in the world long enough to form an accurate opinion of it.

    Not.

    Anyhow, could we please...get back to the thread, before it's closed?

    Again...thanks.
    I've been "out in the world," since I was 12 , of course coming from an obviously self absorbed man, I can completely understand why you would look down on a young woman, simply for being a young woman.

    You left out patriarchal and misogynistic!

    Look them up.

    And now, you may have the last word (yes, this self absorbed man who has such disrespect for young women is going to allow you to close the discussion. You should be grateful). I happen to have enough consideration for the others in the thread (and the OP...he's great lol), to ignore your obviously immature outlook and attitude for the sake of everyone else.

    Have a great day!
  • ktdid626
    ktdid626 Posts: 185 Member
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    Yes. Black men have always asked me not to lose the weight in my *kitten*. I'm tall. Hourglass. PERFECT. (for someone) I just want my booty tighter. I have always been told you can't change the genetics (big hips and butt) but you can shrink it to a more manageable size. I'll never lose my "family heirloom" aka my butt. You can see pictures of me at 5 years old with thick thighs. These babies always get me dates! But for my boyfriend of 4 years, he's happy with me at the many different weights (+/- 40 lbs). That's love.

    FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU FOR YOU.

    And yes. It has felt that fewer white boys have hit on me, but I ultimately have had an even racial mix of boyfriends...they must have just been the lucky guys with the balls to talk to me. I love men of every color. Current boyfriend (and future husband) is a beautiful dark chocolate. Yummy.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    Okay, let me choose my words very carefully here.....I think that the idea black men prefer their women with curves and white men prefer their women skinny is a backwoods, stereotypical generalization...simply put. However, in my opinion, there are some cultural truths involved. I don't think that the majority of the black women here will say that there husbands/significant others mind that they are losing weight and gaining healthier lives. Genetically speaking, black women are predisposed to having fuller hips, thighs, and butts.....some don't, but generally speaking...they do. So duh, a black man would be crazy to not be attracted to the feature most of us have. It's still sort of stone age because in my world 2012, men of any race can date women of any race and along with this lovely freedom comes many different body types, shapes, etc. At the end of the day, it's about preference, and if those friends of yours ONLY like curvy (BIG) black women then that's their preference and they don't speak for the rest of the world.

    I am just echoing another posters sentiments - this is a great post - and congratulations on the weight loss.

    I think really is that people are generally (emphasis) more attracted to what they are used to/have grown up with, whether it be size or other physical traits. But it is also dangerous to fall into stereotyping too much. As you can tell from my pic, I am white, and have been hit on by whites, blacks and latinos because of my generous (as I like to think of it) bootay. So, some predisposition, maybe, but a 'rule' for everyone - not true.
  • george29223
    george29223 Posts: 556 Member
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    oh my god, this is ridiculous!! men talk trash with their friends all the time, you can't believe everything they say, and it sounds like yall were drunk. I don't know any black man that likes a fat woman or any black women that's not on a diet or exercise plan trying to loose weight to be healthy or look good, and I know a lot of black men and women. I am a black woman. I don't know how many black women the New York Post knows, I would say not many.

    lol wasnt drunk i can be just as annoying sober its a gift lollll
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    Seriously, skinny doesn't always mean no curves. And big doesn't mean curvy. Get this straight people.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Anyone else shocked this is still around?


    That is all.
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
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    I can't comment. Black men don't talk to me. :-(

    But all the white guys I dated loved t&a so I was good!
    Now that I'm losing weight, all of my guy friends say don't get too skinny. Keep the T&A!
  • bunnzye2
    bunnzye2 Posts: 56
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    I was real skinny, and I gained a LITTLE weight after my daughter was born, my first husband got on my butt real fast about losing the weight. second marriage - I gained 20 pounds and he didnt even notice. After the divorce, I lost the 20, got a new boyfriend, and gained 30 and he didnt notice. They made that same claim that black men dont notice stuff like that and prefer a "meaty" woman. Growing up, people called thick women healthy. I was 123 pounds when my daughter was 16. When I got to 150, I hadn't seen my aunt for years. When we met, she was extremely happy that I had put some meat on my "bones". So some cultures worship plumpness. Now I'm throwing a curve ball, I had two extrememly close white guy friends and they preferred the plumpness. so it just depends on the men in that particular culture, but I would say yes to it in general.

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