Hubs thinks my weight goal is too much

135

Replies

  • I agree with previous posters - set yourself a mid-range goal and see how you feel when you get there. Everyone is built differently and so carry weight in different places. My mum is only slightly taller than me but if she weighed the same as I do she would look gaunt and half dead, but if I weighed the same as her I'd look a proper porker!
    I've adjusted and re-adjusted my weight loss goals several times since I started using MFP a year or so ago - I started out with a goal of 154 pounds, then when I hit that and I still wasn't happy with my shape I set my sights on being a (UK) size 10. When I got there and still wasn't happy I moved the goal posts to 147 pounds. When I hit that and still wasn't entirely happy I changed the goal to 140 pounds and I'm sure I'll adjust that when i get there too!

    Perhaps if you think about the shape you'd like to be and aim for that rather than an ideal weight you (and your husband) will be happier?!

    Good luck and good work so far :)
  • militarydreams
    militarydreams Posts: 198 Member
    I saw an old friend of mine who is quite short. He's just come out of the royal navy and gawd he's got tonk. i guess they don't have much else to do on a ship for months on end lol. my point is that when i spoke to him about my bmi he laughed and said that scale says he's obece... i've never known anything more absurd. He's definitely not fat in any way. BMI isn't a die hard rule so don't go selecting the bottom of the scale and lining yourself up for an eating disorder
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
    Wait until you are a little closer to your goal & see how you feel & look then.
    My goal is to lose just a bit more until it is right & then I will stop. I know I have about 5 stone to go but it may be 4 or 6. Who cares until I get a bit closer to it?!?!?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I'm 5'4" and my weight goal is 110. My husband told me tonight he thinks that is just too much loss. Is it?

    I chose that number because it was the lowest healthy weight on a chart I saw, and also because I started at 212 and I wanted my loss to be an even 100 pounds.

    I've seen pictures on MyBodyGallery of pear-shaped, 110 pound 5'4" tall women and I thought it was a decent goal with a flattering figure. My husband thinks I'm going to look all gaunt and anorexic!

    How do you set a decent goal that keeps health at the forefront?

    It's small for your height, but build plays a big role in what you can get away with. I have a friend who's 5'4" and at 104 pounds, she looked great and was healthy. Another friend at 5'4" looks great and healthy at 120 and if she lost 16 pounds (or even 10), she'd be far too skinny.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    I think if you've never been that weight in the past, then you should just keep going until you get to where you feel good about yourself and not look at the number so much. I'm shorter than you, but my goal is 111. I have been at that weight before so I know what it looks like.
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
    I'm 5ft 3 and mine is 110 and I am at 111 now. I don't think I look anorexic or gaunt. I have just started weight lifting so that I can be more muscular but I like this size. I don't want to get any smaller but I am happy here.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
    I think your goal is very realistic. I am 5'5 and met my goal of 112. That being said-I have a very small frame. I do not look anorexic.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Seems like too much to me, honestly. Hard to say without seeing you at least close to it though.
  • mrsmerrithew
    mrsmerrithew Posts: 74 Member
    I'm 5'4 and currently 180ish. With that said, at my largest I was 280. I've always been a bigger girl.

    I personally can't imagine being 110lbs. I feel like I would deathly.

    I like having curves. I like my boobs and my *kitten*. I've started weight training and I like my muscles too.

    110 lbs doesn't give you boobs and *kitten* and muscles.

    Right now my goal is 150. When I get there, I might reassess. But for now, that sounds good to me.

    I would suggest maybe setting smaller goals, and reassess once you reach them.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I'm 5'4" and my weight goal is 110. My husband told me tonight he thinks that is just too much loss. Is it?

    I chose that number because it was the lowest healthy weight on a chart I saw, and also because I started at 212 and I wanted my loss to be an even 100 pounds.

    I've seen pictures on MyBodyGallery of pear-shaped, 110 pound 5'4" tall women and I thought it was a decent goal with a flattering figure. My husband thinks I'm going to look all gaunt and anorexic!

    How do you set a decent goal that keeps health at the forefront?

    Where are you now, 180 - 200 still? Personally I think you should pick a higher weight and reassess when you get there. I'm 5'3" and my initial goal weight was 127, I went down to 124 and looked sickly because I carry a lot of muscle so my bf% was way too low for healthy. I've gone back up to 132 because the numbers I can push in the weight room and how far I can push my body in daily activities are more important to me than the numbers on a scale. It's nice to have goals, but you can't know how your body's going to look at different weights until you get close to that weight.

    Anyway, aim higher and reassess when you get there.
  • livyluv5
    livyluv5 Posts: 3
    I wouldn't worry about it too much right now. I would take it one day at a time. I'm 5 ft 9 in and at one point in my life i was 140 pounds which was way to thin for me even though the charts told me it was a healthy weight. I wouldnt rely on the charts. I'd go by how you feel every ten pounds you loose. Plus, if you get down to that weight and it's not working for you or your lifestyle, you can add a few more pounds back.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
    I'm 5'4 and currently 180ish. With that said, at my largest I was 280. I've always been a bigger girl.

    I personally can't imagine being 110lbs. I feel like I would deathly.

    I like having curves. I like my boobs and my *kitten*. I've started weight training and I like my muscles too.

    110 lbs doesn't give you boobs and *kitten* and muscles.

    Right now my goal is 150. When I get there, I might reassess. But for now, that sounds good to me.

    I would suggest maybe setting smaller goals, and reassess once you reach them.

    weight doesn't have anything to do with having boobs or a butt. I am 112 lbs-I have curves-boobs and a butt. I work out hard to maintain great shape and a shapely figure.
  • final10
    final10 Posts: 69 Member
    Wow, 140 does look like a much healthier number for my height! I wanted to be able to say "I lost 100 pounds!" But I'd rather be healthy (that's the whole reason I'm doing this!) than be one of the Olsens!

    The good news is you don't have so much to lose. You can think about how much body fat % to lose. Either way maybe set smaller goals and enjoy the process. You'll feel so much better eating healthier and exercising and those benefits will show at whatever size you are.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I'm 5'4 and currently 180ish. With that said, at my largest I was 280. I've always been a bigger girl.

    I personally can't imagine being 110lbs. I feel like I would deathly.

    I like having curves. I like my boobs and my *kitten*. I've started weight training and I like my muscles too.

    110 lbs doesn't give you boobs and *kitten* and muscles.

    Right now my goal is 150. When I get there, I might reassess. But for now, that sounds good to me.

    I would suggest maybe setting smaller goals, and reassess once you reach them.

    weight doesn't have anything to do with having boobs or a butt. I am 112 lbs-I have curves-boobs and a butt. I work out hard to maintain great shape and a shapely figure.

    No kidding. When I was 100 pounds at 5'3", I still had hips and boobs. I would have them at 80 pounds (not that I want to be 80 pounds!).

    There is a difference between having curves and just being overweight. Would you say the woman in my profile photo is not curvy?
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I bet to a man 110 lbs sounds unfathomably low. (A lot of women think my goal weight is too low despite it being in the healthy range because they are taller and are not used to thinking in terms of the numbers I have to think in.) What about not talking numbers but giving him permission to mention it to you if he thinks you are starting to look too thin?

    At my lowest, my husband did not think I looked too thin, but I bet if I told him the numbers his perspective might have been different.

    And I'm going to echo all the other responses. It might be too low, it might not be, it depends on how you look and feel. If you start feeling uncomfortable (cold, discomfort sitting or lying down, tired, poor hair and nails) add some pounds back on. Some people just cannot be the lowest weight in their weight range. Other people emotionally cannot shoot for that because they will get too hung up on the numbers and the mission and lose perspective of how they actually look and feel.

    I think shooting for a BMI of 22-22.5 and seeing how you feel there is a good start.
  • gidgeclev
    gidgeclev Posts: 103 Member
    I'm 5'4" and 53 years old. In my adult life I have been as low as 110 ibs but I was possibly too thin and this was in my 20's. I would look dreadful at that weight now, I'm around 140lbs and look slim.
  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
    I am 5'4" and my goal is 130 or 135. That is smack dab in the middle for BMI. I would take a good long look at your body structure. I have a heavy frame if I drop down below 125 I look like I am dying. So really do what is best for you health wise and have realistic expectations.
  • chantalb20
    chantalb20 Posts: 132
    i'm 5'3 and the most i've weighed, apart from pregnancy, is 108. It doesn't look gaunt or "anorexic", but then again, i'm very small boned. good luck :)
  • I am 5'4 with a small to medium frame and I want to get down to 127lbs. My husband thinks that is too low. The last time I was 110 I was 16yrs old...

    Maybe you can set yourself mini goals to reach, then reassess them once you reach them, as to how much more you would like to lose.
  • I think you should do what you are comfortable with :smile: At 110 you will be more or less on the lowest end of healthy, but still healthy nonetheless - if you go about losing the weight in a healthy way :happy: See as you go, when you get to 130 or 120 you might decide that you like your body at that weight - or you might want to keep going. Personally I don't think 110 is too slow, especially if you're slight/small-boned :flowerforyou:

    What looks good to you, your husband SHOULD accept :wink:
  • jillthemom
    jillthemom Posts: 31 Member
    It really depends on how you carry your weight. I am 5ft 4in and I have hit my goal weight of 125, but I am still carrying a lot of weight around my middle. In fact, my waist measurement just recently dropped below the "danger zone " . I thought I would be happy at this weight, but I plan to continue on until the spare tire is gone.. :) Oh, and at this weight I wear a 6/8. Just goes to show the difference in bodies, as a previous poster weighed more, yet was wearing a 2!
  • LeenaRuns
    LeenaRuns Posts: 1,309 Member
    I'm 5'6" and weigh 118-121 depending on the day. I think 110 on a 5'4" frame is just fine!

    * Edit for terrible spelling
  • whitleynoel
    whitleynoel Posts: 198 Member
    I'm 5'7" and 130 pounds and I can promise you that I look far from anorexic. I am actually looking to lose another 5 pounds. I have muscle and am nowhere near skeletal. You could do it and still be healthy, just see how you feel along the way.
  • Escarda
    Escarda Posts: 131 Member
    I am 5"7.
    I am currently either 140 pounds, or 120 pounds. My scales are ****ed and flick backwards and forwards between the 2.
    My goal is to be 109 pounds.
    Now i know that is yes in the unhealthy weight section of the bmi scales,
    BUT a few years ago i was that weight, and the height i am now. And i didnt ever think about my weight, i was happy with myself. And then i started to gain weight, and my body became an issue for me.
    So i just want to reach a size where i forget about being fat / being skinny. Where i am just happy in my body.
    And who knows maybe i will actually get to 120 pounds and be happy..
    But either way thats my goal weight, and regardless of what anyone says, thats the weight i am going to one day be.
  • js25698
    js25698 Posts: 42 Member
    Weight goals are a PERSONAL choice. You have to be happy with how you look in the mirror. Whatever number that is is ultimately YOUR decision. See how you look as you lose weight and stop when you want to stop.
  • tinam76
    tinam76 Posts: 59 Member
    I can't speak because it depends on each person and their unique body type. Also, your muscle will change that greatly. 110 might be a perfect weight for you with little to no muscle, but obviously if you build some muscle then 120 or even 130 might be best. All I suggest is working to a point where you are happy with your appearance and fitness level. Wherever that is, stick with it. (Assuming it's within the realm of healthy)

    I'm in a similar but different position. I have a goal (that is healthy) and my girlfriend says it's too low because she says if I'm thin/athletic that she won't find me attractive. *shrugs* All you can do is work towards what makes you happy and be willing to re-evaluate your situation as you progress. Peoples opinions are just that, their opinions. Nothing says that they are right or wrong. I hope you reach your goal. Good luck!
    i sooooo second this i remember being 110 and if the wind blew strong i might be across town! for me it's when i look and i am happy. i don't have a real number in mind i just know when i get there i will know . yes i give myself a weekly even monthly goal right now because i'm just getting started. as long as you are healthy and happy to hell with what people think. you live in your body. good luck 2 you and to all of us
  • antypim89
    antypim89 Posts: 31 Member
    I weighed 131 pounds last year and was soooo unhappy. I undertook a vast training programme and dropped to 113 pounds and felt great. I am also small, at just 5ft 2. I have to say am not that weight now, but my goal weight is 113 pounds or lower because i feel happier at these lower weights as i am a small person. The problem for us smaller people is that weight tends to look bigger then a taller person were the weight is more stretched out.

    I would aim to loose weight to a medium goal above this target weight, see how you feel and maintain this weight for a period of time. Then if you feel as though you need to drop a few pounds again do it slowly. Slow weight loss is the best no matter the goal. Its worked for me I have never been a above 135 pounds since loosing weight this way (i used to be 185).

    Just remember healthy and happy is what your aiming for no matter what the goal weight.
  • vanderandkarl
    vanderandkarl Posts: 87 Member
    i would pick a number in the middle of the BMI chart that way if u are ill and u lose you wont be even more ill (if u are underweight and get ill it is worse) and if u gain a little u are still in a good place i hope that makes sense i am aiming to be in the middle of my healthy BMI i am current at the very bad end with a BMI of 41 it was 44 i want to have a BMI of 23 but if thats too small will go up to a BMI of 25 i hope this makes sense x

    good luck whatever you decide x
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 378 Member
    There are many factors that play into what you should set your goal to be.

    Bone structure:

    Some people are big boned, some medium boned, and some tiny boned. Which bone size are you? An easy way to tell is the wrap your pointer finger and thumb around the wrist of your dominant hand. Do the fingers overlap? Then you are small boned. Do they just meet? Then you are medium boned. Do they not meet? Then you are large boned. Now, this is not accurate for those people who have a lot of padding around their wrist, so you need to assess this as you lose weight.

    Additionally, black people and Native Americans have denser bones than other racial groups. They may want to shoot for a little bit higher weight range. Asians have bones that are less dense, so they may want to shoot for a lower weight range.

    Muscle mass:

    If you have a lot of muscle on your body, you want to shoot for the higher end of your weight range. Maybe even shoot for the lower end of the 'overweight' range. Muscle is more dense than fat, so it weighs more. There is such a thing as 'skinny fat'. This occurs when you lose down to your weight range, but still have fat on your body. Please consider increasing your muscle mass as this will increase your metabolism and allow you to eat more calories, which is healthier for you and easier to maintain.

    Differences among people:

    So you looked at pictures of people that are your height and you want to look like them. So you figure you will look like them if you weigh what they weigh. That simply is not true. You may not lose the fat in the areas in which you wish to lose it to look like them. Fat tends to leave the body in the opposite order that it was put on: For example: if you put on weight around your waist last, that is what is going to go first. So you may like the looks of someone at 110 and your height, but losing down to that weight may not produce the results that you want.

    Do I think 110 is wrong for you? I can't make that decision. I don't know what your bone structure is. I don't know how much muscle is on your body.

    I would encourage you, though, to not compare yourself to what other people look like and weigh. Women do this all the time. Why can't we just be ourselves and do what we want to do, be who we want to be, without compare ourselves to others and striving to look like other people.

    I concerns me that you are striving to look like others and not considering your particular body eccentricities. To maintain a 110 figure, you will have to live for the rest of your life on about 1200 calories. Is that doable for you? Would you rather weigh 125, have muscle on your body that will increase your metabolism, and be able to eat 1800 calories a day? Most women think me are attracted to those skinny little things, but they aren't. Men are really turned on by women who are physically fit. Those skinny little things are not physically fit.

    What you need to do is calculate your lean body mass. This is bones, organs, and muscle weight. Then you need to go from there to figure out how much you want to weigh.

    Here is a site about the benefits of lifting weights:

    http://www.fitnessrxmag.com/fitness/training/1294-lift-more-to-lose-more.html

    Weight lifting prevents osteoporosis as well. Its teeny, tiny women who get osteoporosis, not women who are muscled.

    Another site of interest is this one, on which you can calculate your BMR, body fat, etc. Then you can really set the proper weight that you should strive for.

    http://www.fat2fitradio.com/

    In short, I think that you are just seeing the small picture. Many women think being teeny, tiny shows that they are healthy. To maintain that teeny, tiny figure, you may not be able to obtain all the nutrition that you need. It is better to put on muscle so that you can eat more and be healthy instead of eat little and be unhealthy.

    Hope this helps you make a decision.
  • saustin201
    saustin201 Posts: 270 Member
    I agree with the hubby. Besides, he may like your curves.

    Good luck.