JUST FRIENDS!

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  • 1_Happy_Camper
    1_Happy_Camper Posts: 66
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    "No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive."

    ^^^^^^^^ this. Very well said lol.
  • 1_Happy_Camper
    1_Happy_Camper Posts: 66
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    to q point gut no3.

    ^^^^^ this. Very well said !!!
    (I miss quoted my last post lol).
  • _EmmaStrong_
    _EmmaStrong_ Posts: 648 Member
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    I would like to know everyone's opinion on whether a man and a woman can "just be friends". I mean with "no benefits". Just like two women can be friends or two men can be friends.

    I have a male whom is a very good friend. So, obviously, I do think a man and woman can be just friends, in fact "best friends."

    What is your opinion?

    My male friend, told me just last week, that I was beautiful. I have no doubt he meant it, as he "tells it like it is" so to speak. I also find him attractive. He has an SO and so do I. We are still best friends and I feel like we always will be.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    It's funny that in this thread, almost every guy is saying its not possible, and almost every female is saying it is possible. This is because for females, it is possible for them to have a guy friend. However, every guy, in the back of his mind, wants to bang his "friend". Its just the reality of the situation. He may never act on it, and they may grow old as friends, and she may never know about it, but he wants to bang her.
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
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    most times it is possible, but if a guy sees you in that light no.
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
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    Yes, it's possible. Virtually every friend I've ever had has been male and it's only become a problem once. It seems like guys don't think it's possible until they see it happen for themselves. My boyfriend flipped out the first time I made a few friends at work and hung out with them at my apartment (we were drawing and animating cartoons); it wasn't until he came over the next time and met them that he realized (much to his surprise) that there really wasn't anything about it that wasn't entirely platonic and innocuous. So long as the friendship isn't just a guise for sexual attraction, then there's no requirement that the attraction has to be there.

    As to some of the comments here about how women think it's possible but men don't, if a man views all relationships with women as something sex-based or at least sex-related, then of course he won't think it's possible; if he allows for the option of a platonic friendship, then there's no reason it can't happen. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    I simply don't have much (if anything) in common with other girls/women and it's been that way my whole life. I just don't "get it" and don't think or act how I'm apparently supposed to. Sadly, a lot of women in my experience tend to pounce on that and treat me like crap.
  • BAHBOOK2012
    BAHBOOK2012 Posts: 11
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    Gender doesn't come into it re putting partner first; it is a balance between friendship and relationship.
  • MLgarcia3
    MLgarcia3 Posts: 503
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    Nope... Not in my experiences anyway...
  • carlynn13
    carlynn13 Posts: 281
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    of course, my best friend is a guy
  • BAHBOOK2012
    BAHBOOK2012 Posts: 11
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    I think that typically in a heterosexual female-male friendship one of the people would really lke to be more than friends...unless both are in committed, happy relationships...and even then I think the thought of the relationship becoming more flits in and out of at least one persons mind periodically. At least that has been my experience.
    [Very true/quote]
  • Farfourah
    Farfourah Posts: 899 Member
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    Not possible, I wanna bang every guy friend I've ever met....
  • creature275
    creature275 Posts: 348 Member
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    I think its hard for guys to be just friends, not to say it doesnt happen but by and large Ive rarely met a guy who spends time around a woman who didnt have some kind of sexual or romantic thoughts about her, so I would think there has to be some kind of unique case by case variable in there that leads to being truly only friends
  • Argent78
    Argent78 Posts: 151 Member
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    They absolutely can!!
    I've had my best friend for 20 years now, and it never crossed our minds to have that kind of benefit. He is like my brother!

    PS: we are both attractive and have happy relationships
  • lumina0o0
    lumina0o0 Posts: 498 Member
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    I think it's possible, though it hasn't happened for me. My guy friends tend to be gay or "like" me. I have a few straight guy friends, but I'm not close to them.
  • BAHBOOK2012
    BAHBOOK2012 Posts: 11
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    This is one of the funniest post I've read in a while. The vast majority of men and women clearly think different. That is a fact! It is interesting one person pointed out guys don't ask this question. One woman cheekily asked "don't you want to be my friend?" Which made me smile as I'm sure 90% of men would say yes lol. In reversing the tables slightly, as the question was posed by a woman, if a woman was married or in serious relationship and her partner had several female friends that he went out boozing with regularly as guys would with the guys would most women get concerned? Put another spin on it, if a guy went out with the guys regular most women would either be happy for their own time or pissed by being left out, but introduce female friends, attractive ones or not into the frame then it isn't really a matter of having friends but the class of friend and the type of friendship. Thus you can have male/female friends but once in a relationship things change for most couples. Some may argue you should take me as you found me, and some may crave the attention of female friends at the risk of pissing of their girlfriend or wife which is simply a matter of balance and respect for a partner. But if single there is no harm in having 100 male friends or female friends but once in a relationship as with any friend male or female it is a matter of balance and respect for your partner.

    i thought guys were all about 'bros before hos'...

    Hmm no, irrespective of gender, there has to be the right balance between friendship between male friends and female partner. Saying bros before hos isn't too respectful towards women and suggest men inherently put their mates before women or even an assertion of men seeing women as hos which is wrong lol some maybe but not all :)
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    Apparently all of my guy friends are not what they seem. :huh:
  • BAHBOOK2012
    BAHBOOK2012 Posts: 11
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    I think that typically in a heterosexual female-male friendship one of the people would really lke to be more than friends...unless both are in committed, happy relationships...and even then I think the thought of the relationship becoming more flits in and out of at least one persons mind periodically. At least that has been my experience.

    Too true
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
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    From past experience I always find that when a man and woman get too close one or the other ends up developing deeper feelings.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    Typically friends ends up being a scenario that one is attracted and the other is not.....or what hauteP1nk described holds true also \m/
  • microaggie
    microaggie Posts: 13
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    It depends from the person, But if I have to say about myself: NO:) If my male friend is physically attractive and I like him...gradually I will develop feelings for him. I tried to have before male friends, never work out with me!:-) But good luck to all of you:)

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