what to do when cals in vs cals out doesn't work? (long)

"inconsistent effort, inconsistent results"

She doesn't have much to lose for her height and it's going to be a battle. If she's looking at it like a "diet" and not a change completely, she's going to be resistent.

Birth Control is a biggie
For stress - yoga, running, cycling (things you already do so maybe include her)
Also, check out Yogi organic tea...they have some great calming teas

She has to find something SHE likes. My sister is a beach body fan. That works for HER.
I'm a Jillian Fan. She keeps me engaged.

Stick to the basics...I started back sliding because I was getting overwhelmed with numbers.
Lean meats, low fat dairy, load up on veggies & fruit, whole grains

Hide the scale....if the scale is being counter productive, HIDE IT!!

The only recommendation I can make, and I'm no scientist, is to consider trying a different form of birth control. You didn't specify what she is using, but many of them have side effects that affect your water balance or appetite. If that wasn't logical or scientific enough for you, well sorry. I tried.

She's been able to hold that for a week, sometimes up to 10 days. It's hard for her, but she's done it. No change in measurements or weight.

I think you answered your own question here!!!

I was about 130lbs 9 months after I had a baby (so all of my "baby" weight was gone), and it took 5 months to go down to 105 pounds. How I did it - tracked every calorie for 5 months, ate 1200-1500 a day depending on my workouts (I never ate the same calorie amount each day) and had one refeed of 2500 calories per week. I did this, strictly, for 5 months solid.

At this time, I was doing more cardio and less weight training. I did cardio 6 days, and 2 days a week of weight training. Now I am an avid believer in more weight training and less cardio, but at the time I lost the initial weight I didn't have the same mentality.

Obviously you know what you're doing, but it sounds like to me she isn't giving it enough time and isn't as dedicated as you are. 10 days is not enough to see any changes, IMO. Tell her to be strict for 3 weeks and she will start seeing results, at least that is the time frame I started seeing results.

This. If she is at a lower weight to begin with, its going to take A LOT longer to see results then someone with more to lose. I would say that she needs to stick with the plan at least 3 weeks before she'll very noticable changes.

I'm struggling too in a similar fashion to your GF, though I've pushed through 21 days, seeing no number changes, but feeling really great. I really appreciate your comment (BarryH) and think it's right on the money. I've got a wonderful life and want to enjoy it!

Did she ask you to post this?

As others have said, it sounds like she's not sticking with it long enough, if she doesn't have a lot to lose then she will need to be really strict. Things like eating a portion of a sweet treat last thing at night make me think that maybe she's not sticking with it as much as you think - this sounds a lot like me when I started out, and got discouraged through not seeing results. You just have to know that long enough with a calorie defecit, keeping yourself healthy through exercise and eating the right things, and you will see results eventually! But also, there is only a limited amount you can do to change your body shape - if your body stores its extra fat on your *kitten*, that's never gonna change!

Honestly, she is not overweight to me. I'm 5'2 and I WISH I WAS 140 pounds. That's just my opinion.

Tell her that it's going to take a minimum of 3-4 weeks before she will see results. Hide the scale from her except on Sundays and have her weigh herself on THAT day in the morning on an empty stomach. Once a week.

Re-evaluate in 4 weeks.

this.
If she's new to lifting and just lifts for a week, chances are the scale won't move because of water retention.
I never see results from week to week. I usually go back and re-evaluate after 3-4 months of doing something to see how it's coming along.
patience.

What did you mean by 'refeed'?

And to add, 'refeeds' actually accomplish nothing from a biological standpoint. They are purely for psychological reasons.

I'm about 5'3", 46 years old and pear-shaped and I made the decision to lose weight when I hit 140 pounds last year. The kicker here is, I made that decision for myself. While I thought I wanted to lose the weight for quite awhile before, and made feeble attempts at it, it wasn't until I really committed myself that I saw any success. Keep this in mind. If your girlfriend doesn't really and truly want this, she isn't going to succeed.

As you're learning, and I already know, "calories in/calories out" simply doesn't work for everyone. I started out on a low carb diet last year because I've had success with that approach in the past. I dropped 5 pounds pretty quickly. I then started the Couch to 5K plan as my exercise and dropped another 7 until I hit 128 in early May. My husband was giving me grief about my diet so I switched back to a more balanced approach (in other words, higher carb, lower fat). Within two weeks I'd put 4 pounds back on and I spent the next three months losing and gaining back a couple of pounds. I could never get below 131. In the meantime, I was upping my running distance until I was running 4-5 miles several days per week. I was seeing a very moderate loss of inches but the scale wasn't budging.

In August, I got frustrated with the lack of scale movement and switched back to eating low carb. This time I modified my approach a bit to make my home life easier. I ate very few carbs for breakfast and lunch and ate fairly "normally" at dinner, keeping my overall carb intake to around 70-90 grams per day. I avoided sugar and "white" carbs almost entirely getting the vast majority of my carbs from whole grains and vegetables. This, coupled with a calorie intake of 1350, I started to immediately see some small losses. By October, I was down to 123 pounds and a size 4 in pants. I've mostly maintained my weight loss since then although a back injury and the flu back to back sidelined my running for the last month, so I've put a few pounds back on. Since I've learned how my body works, you can bet I'll be cutting carbs again.

Birth control and stress can both affect weight loss. Birth control due to the fact that it manipulates hormones, and stress due to cortisol. High stress means high cortisol, high cortisol means no weight loss.

Yes, her nutritionist told us the same thing... but she can't be the only woman with stress issues. How do other people overcome it?

I'm a stressed disaster right now, and there is no question that it's making me hold on to some fluff around the belly. Of course there's no magic bullet, but a few things that really help me: making time for a walk with my bf on the weekends, cardio (I have ZERO time right now, so this is a feat, but totally worth it for the endorphins), getting enough sleep, and believe it or not, logging my intake on MFP. Anything that gives me a sense of control while things are insane. Is she into cooking and healthy eating, or does she just tolerate it? If there's time, a meal plan for the week and a big grocery shop help me feel like I have the week set up right, but I might just be a weirdo.

And to add, 'refeeds' actually accomplish nothing from a biological standpoint. They are purely for psychological reasons.

It will actually boost leptin levels substantially, which is probably of less value to women (whose leptin levels are already several times higher than men's), but can make a big difference for men who have been on a caloric/carb deficit for a while, and/or are at very low body fat. OTOH a carb-refeed coupled with high fat intake can erase any progress very quickly. I think there is definitely value there, in addition to the psychological aspect. Timing (should be after weight training) and macro content (should be low-fat) are important though.

Just my 2c.

And to add, 'refeeds' actually accomplish nothing from a biological standpoint. They are purely for psychological reasons.

It will actually boost leptin levels substantially, which is probably of less value to women (whose leptin levels are already several times higher than men's), but can make a big difference for men who have been on a caloric/carb deficit for a while, and/or are at very low body fat. OTOH a carb-refeed coupled with high fat intake can erase any progress very quickly. I think there is definitely value there, in addition to the psychological aspect. Timing (should be after weight training) and macro content (should be low-fat) are important though.

Just my 2c.

Only thing is, there isn't much research that would support it as a long term appetite suppressing solution. Eating excessive amounts of food will of course raise leptin, because you are theorectically going to be eating past the point of satiation. However, the hormone will be processed out of the system relatively quickly, especially in individuals with lesser body fat (and therefore less room to store excess)

I always say to each their own, I just have an issue with how many terms get crossed in the dieting world when they originated in other realms of science.. Well, sort of "other" just meaning here on MFP, you could regard it as a pop-diet, whereas the origins of the terms were for clinical conditions.