Dealing with an abusive person...

124»

Replies

  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    dont.
    go.
    back.
    i put up with a crappy job for 3 years and only got a 75 cent raise. he would often take 30-40 dollars off our pay checks, and they would always be late.
    i found a new job in 2 weeks that pays 8 per hour and is so much better conditions. just keep looking.
  • futuresize8
    futuresize8 Posts: 476 Member
    Don't fret...it's all gonna be okay.

    Report this guy...he is a lunatic!

    And, no need to disclose this on future job interviews/your resume. You didn't "really" work there. And if you wanted to share that you were hired there, you could always say, "The job was misrepresented to me and after reporting for orientation, I realized it wasn't a proper fit and voluntarily resigned."

    I'm glad for you that you aren't working there! The right job is right around the corner...and make sure it's one that is worthy of YOU!

    Be well...
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
    No one deserves this, and a bad day does NOT excuse this. He didn't just snap at her, he repeated the pattern of mistreatment and control. Cheating her on the agreed-to salary, illegally requiring her to train on her own time, ranting and raving at her, and then hanging up on her THE NEXT DAY! This is not simply a bad day, this is an ***hole who routinely abuses people, even brand new employees.

    Personally, he isn't worth any more of your time. I wouldn't even bother reporting or otherwise making any moves that might prolong contact. A harrassment case or wage case could mean testimony, court etc. for you. Maybe a little letter to HR or the company president, leaving your personal information out. But honestly, I would move on and forget this little experience completely. Don't include on any resumes or applications. I don't even include a job I had for 3 months.

    Good for you for deciding not to go back!! :flowerforyou:
  • darcie81
    darcie81 Posts: 69 Member
    Well what he did is illegal. Of course the company is paying for the training so you know what the hell you are doing. If you didn't have a job there you wouldn't need to know the info. You should be paid for it. I had a manager who treated me the same way and destroyed my self esteem i worked for her for 8 months crying daily. Finally I walked out on her but I should have reported her. What he did was abuse and against many companies conduct codes and h i p a laws if you are in the US. CALL A HEAD OFFICE IF YOU CAN!!! And do not be upset with yourself you did what is right for you and he will continue to loose people over he is a prick and no one wants to work like that. I have managed places before and I went by what my grandfather taught me, never ask someone to do something you would not do yourself. I was tough I was a woman in a mans world but the staff all liked me because I was not above any job and if I wouldn't do it for free I did not expect someone making 5 less an hour than me to do it for free either!

    I TOTALLY AGREE!!!
  • abigailm83
    abigailm83 Posts: 110
    It's called a hostile work enviroment honey and you didn't do anything wrong. If fact you handled it a lot better than a many would including myself. I do NOT do well with supervisor/managers that act that way and thing they can treat people like that and do not blame you for your decision. As far as furture employment goes, I agree with everyone else that said not to mention it. Hope everything works out for you and keep your head up.

    Definition

    A hostile work environment is an environment in which an employee, due to actions by co-workers or the employer, does not feel comfortable performing duties. In extremely hostile work environments, the employee may not feel comfortable even coming into the work facility.



    Read more: What Is a Hostile Work Environment? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5079366_hostile-work-environment.html#ixzz1t3hzdwt5
  • BunnyFat
    BunnyFat Posts: 4
    I know you've had a lot of responses, but I just wanted to share that I had a very similar situation several years ago. I went through orientation for a job that was horrible and demeaning. Even though I was told I wouldn't be working any night shifts when I was hired, my schedule had me working until 1 and 2am several nights a week. I worked there for one day and the next day when I was supposed to go back, I called and told them I would not be coming in and that the job was not for me. They weren't too pleased, but I actually got a paycheck for the 1 day I worked. Since then I've never put that job on any applications and it's never come up. If it did, I would just explain what happened. I don't think anyone would blame you for what you did. That was not going to be a place that would be good for you (or anyone it sounds like) to work. Good job on standing up and doing what you knew you had to - people don't deserve that kind of treatment.
  • Dudagarcia
    Dudagarcia Posts: 849 Member
    ((Hugs)) to you and you did the right thing. I'm proud of you for taking your stand!! :) I would have told my grown children not to take the job! First of all, you don't need to work for a jerk like that. If he was like that to you and you hadn't even started working there, imagine he would be treating you like the other employees. There are plenty of jobs out there and you'll find the right one for you.
  • mgpage
    mgpage Posts: 123
    Why do you need to mention this in job interview? You didn't actually work there so it doesn't need to go on your resume.

    Is this a large firm? You should contact the Head Office or if they are a small firm the HR department and report this person for his behaviour.

    THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. <3

    ^^THIS^^
  • ericabrothers
    ericabrothers Posts: 115
    It is illegal for a company to even let you work for free. You can't do anything work related and not get paid for it. The labor board says that and I'm pretty sure that prick doesn't want to take on the labor board.
  • PlainJade13
    PlainJade13 Posts: 22
    Sweetheart, I hope you get through this.

    I actually quit my job after working for a month. My anxiety was high and I couldn't handle working with boys who were very disrespectful to me...One of my managers was very rude also. I kept having anxiety attacks about going back to work so I just called them one day and quit.

    Don't feel bad about it, love. If you're uncomfortable, you're uncomfortable and you shouldn't feel bad about it. I wouldn't want to work for that guy either!
  • monty619
    monty619 Posts: 1,308 Member
    so one altercation with a rude boss and it makes him an abusive person?

    The behaviour described sounds like he's an abusive boss. It's not merely "rude" to scream and curse and call employees stupid. Combined with the bait-and-switch on the hourly pay, I think there are plenty of red flags for an abusive bully.

    ..or he could have been having a bad day. its a one time interaction with one person. people need to be given more than one opportunity/ conversation before you report them and wreck their lives by getting them fired. if there is one thing i have learned from going from fat to fit its that its never good to be quick to judge others. the guy was undoubtedly an *kitten* hole, no reason he cant be the greatest boss tomorow. one situation is not enough to assess a person.

    my opinion

    A bad day? It is unlawful to intimidate employees; and especially by the business owner. When you manage people you don't get a "bad day". You must abide by the law. Like if you robbed a bank you could say you had a bad day and only did it once? Right.

    People who talk about other stupid people that have worked for them? I was on the management team for an international company. I KNOW this person. Not personally, but I have known many people like this. He has no business managing his own employees. This guy wouldn't last 5 minutes working for a law abiding company. You don't yell at people. You don't insult people. You don't talk about people behind their backs. You don't lie to your employees or new hires. You can't make hourly people take "training" paperwork home to do on their own time. There are so many violations here, based on what the OP has revealed.

    ur missing the point
  • ggmay49
    ggmay49 Posts: 9
    Congratulations on sticking up for yourself! Just as an employer has a right to not hire an applicant for a certain job, the applicant has a right to turn down the job offer. I think you made a wise decision in this instance. Be proud of yourself, and get back out there looking for another job. You do not have to disclose anything in another interview. The perfect job, maybe not making as much as we would like, could be waiting just around the corner. Good Luck!
  • Princessbrene
    Princessbrene Posts: 112 Member
    Technically I worked there for one day...wouldn't this show up on a background check?

    No, and even if it did, I don't think working somewhere for 1 day counts towards anything significant. It was your choice not to work for someone abusive. I know it's hard to see things from a clear perspective when your emotions are overwhelmed, but sweetie, you didn't do anything wrong or anything to be ashamed of. Chin up... there's always a brighter day ahead.
  • janeite1990
    janeite1990 Posts: 671 Member
    Bait and switch on pay is illegal. Not paying for time worked is illegal. If there is someone up the chain to report it to, you must. If not, you should contact the Attorney General in your state. He got red and angry because you called him on his illegal and unethical actions.
  • DonnaLFitz
    DonnaLFitz Posts: 270 Member
    Dump that job... It's not going to get better.

    Sometimes you can change things in your environment. Sometimes you just have to walk away. For $7.50 an hour, I would definitely go somewhere else, especially since you are new to that particular skill anyway.

    Why not try a different one?
  • abby459
    abby459 Posts: 694 Member
    You did the right thing....working there would have made you feel like that EVERY day!! And I agree with the others...I would not disclose that at all in other interviews, no need to!
  • angbieb
    angbieb Posts: 668 Member
    Just wanted to thank everyone that posted for the kind words and support. It meant a lot to me and helped me get through the day yesterday...I was very emotional (I wish I wasn't like that but I am....wish I didn't cry so easily it makes me feel like such a baby).
    So I took some of your advice and reported it to HR....I was very professional about it and kept my composure and told them exactly what had happened, this was at about 10am in the morning. The person I spoke to said it's not that I don't believe you, but that just doesn't sound like him, I am shocked; she said they would get back to me...well, another lady called me at about 4 in the afternoon, she said they had talked to him and that he was going through a lot and that he was having a "bad day" and that that is just how he is...it's a different kind of sense of humor that I just wouldn't get unless I got to know him. She said that she knows him very well and that she is going to "coach" him on some of the things he did wrong. She said that he admitted he was in the wrong.
    However, by the sound of it, I think they were just trying to passify me...I'm not stupid. But I don't really care, I don't have anymore time to give a second thought to that mess of a person and it's not worth it.
    Just wanted to let you all know what happened since you were so kind to post...thanks again :heart:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Just wanted to thank everyone that posted for the kind words and support. It meant a lot to me and helped me get through the day yesterday...I was very emotional (I wish I wasn't like that but I am....wish I didn't cry so easily it makes me feel like such a baby).
    So I took some of your advice and reported it to HR....I was very professional about it and kept my composure and told them exactly what had happened, this was at about 10am in the morning. The person I spoke to said it's not that I don't believe you, but that just doesn't sound like him, I am shocked; she said they would get back to me...well, another lady called me at about 4 in the afternoon, she said they had talked to him and that he was going through a lot and that he was having a "bad day" and that that is just how he is...it's a different kind of sense of humor that I just wouldn't get unless I got to know him. She said that she knows him very well and that she is going to "coach" him on some of the things he did wrong. She said that he admitted he was in the wrong.
    However, by the sound of it, I think they were just trying to passify me...I'm not stupid. But I don't really care, I don't have anymore time to give a second thought to that mess of a person and it's not worth it.
    Just wanted to let you all know what happened since you were so kind to post...thanks again :heart:

    I wouldn't have bothered with that personally, but at least it is on file for the future if he ever gets abusive towards anyone else.
  • angbieb
    angbieb Posts: 668 Member
    Just wanted to thank everyone that posted for the kind words and support. It meant a lot to me and helped me get through the day yesterday...I was very emotional (I wish I wasn't like that but I am....wish I didn't cry so easily it makes me feel like such a baby).
    So I took some of your advice and reported it to HR....I was very professional about it and kept my composure and told them exactly what had happened, this was at about 10am in the morning. The person I spoke to said it's not that I don't believe you, but that just doesn't sound like him, I am shocked; she said they would get back to me...well, another lady called me at about 4 in the afternoon, she said they had talked to him and that he was going through a lot and that he was having a "bad day" and that that is just how he is...it's a different kind of sense of humor that I just wouldn't get unless I got to know him. She said that she knows him very well and that she is going to "coach" him on some of the things he did wrong. She said that he admitted he was in the wrong.
    However, by the sound of it, I think they were just trying to passify me...I'm not stupid. But I don't really care, I don't have anymore time to give a second thought to that mess of a person and it's not worth it.
    Just wanted to let you all know what happened since you were so kind to post...thanks again :heart:

    I wouldn't have bothered with that personally, but at least it is on file for the future if he ever gets abusive towards anyone else.

    I know but if it helps someone in the future that he does this too...I guess I think it's worth it. :o)
  • autumnk921
    autumnk921 Posts: 1,374 Member
    I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself and being brave enough to take it to HR....Bad day, bad time whatever, when you are managing people you do not take out your personal issues on your employees PERIOD. You did the right thing again! :)
  • jenbusick
    jenbusick Posts: 528 Member
    Good on you for reporting it! Guess what? NOW there's a record of his abusive behavior. Just because they didn't know about it before doesn't mean it wasn't happening; now they don't have any excuse. If someone else has a similar complaint in the future, it'll be on their heads to take action.

    You did the right thing! I applaud your courage! And also, you now know that you don't have to take that stuff off of ANYBODY. You're strong enough to walk away, now and forevermore!
  • inside_lap
    inside_lap Posts: 728 Member
    Good for you Ang!!
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    Good for you! With the way he acted on a simple question, just imagine what his response would be if something was really wrong at work. Wow.
  • PSTreasure
    PSTreasure Posts: 40
    You are not the one with the problem here! The jerk is probably clueless as to why he can't keep all of the "stupid people" working for him. You were right to not go back. As far as it coming up in future job interviews, I wouldn't even mention it. I don't think one day of employment is even worth mentioning. There is a job out there for you, just keep looking! Good luck!
  • greeneyes191
    greeneyes191 Posts: 78 Member
    I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings but from the sounds of the response you got, I highly doubt there will be any "record" of this incident. The way they responded to you was as if they were protecting him.
    "That's just the way he is" and "not getting his sense of humor" or "he was having a bad day" or whatever - that is totally a load of bunk. There was absolutely nothing humorous about your treatment and no excuse for his behavior - I don't care how bad your day is.
    I'm sorry it happened to you but sometimes, as the song says: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
    Best of luck in your future endeavors to find work. Maybe you will end up with something better and be glad you didn't stick with that job.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    You did the right thing cause he sounds like a jerk and it was wrong of HIM about the whole thing and how he acted. You will find a better job in time.

Categories