Just need to get this off my chest

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245

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  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
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    Do what YOU need to do. You should not suffer for his illness. I have a serious illness also, and get great support from my SO> I never try to take advantage of that and do the best I can do.
  • kindra3434
    kindra3434 Posts: 177 Member
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    If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! geez! some peoples children.....anyway, life is tough, I'm sure you will preserver. Sometimes it helps writing something down and getting it off your chest. good luck to you and be positive.
  • bjshields
    bjshields Posts: 677 Member
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    Wow, sorry about all the major judgment you are getting here! Obviously these people have not been through it. My husband is diabetic, and it definitely affects our life together. I am as supportive as I can be, especially by encouraging him to walk after dinner and buying healthy food at the store. We also now hike together on the weekends. It can be draining, but it's the "in sickness" part of the vows -- guess somebody knew what they were doing when they put that in there. Hang in there, hope things get better for you.:smile:
  • Oliviamarie05
    Oliviamarie05 Posts: 528 Member
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    i come here to log my food and exercise......excuse me for not giving a #%@# about this......

    That's why it's in CHIT CHAT, fun, and games. You were not forced to come to this post, read it or respond. If you didn't give a #%@#, then you could have kindly moved on and kept your *kitten* to yourself.

    To the OP, you are becoming bogged down. I do agree that you should bring your stress to your husband and fill him in on how you have been feeling. Encourage him to see a doctor and hire someone to help you out until you have it figured out. I strongly recommend taking this to your husband though.
  • AvonLucyR
    AvonLucyR Posts: 124 Member
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    My Hubby has had to take care of me for close to 4 years since I was injured in an accident. I'm glad I don't have to see a post like this about me... I agree. If you need help, get some...and I understand your need to vent. But, I think we are spoiled when illness and caretaking interfere with our lifestyles. On the other hand, you might need to think about how it would be if the shoe was on the other foot? You may want to talk to a counselor about how to better handle the situation. There may be ways you would be able to communicate your feelings to him? Best of luck to you! :flowerforyou:
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    Great thread. Will read again.
  • summer8it
    summer8it Posts: 433 Member
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    I know you just wanted to vent - and you deserve to! - but has he been checked for food intolerances? I spent most of my life being sick at least once a week, thinking I just had "a bad stomach" or IBS or something, until it occured to me to try some elimination diets. Turned out I have a bad lactose intolerance, and with dairy out of my life, I am SOOOO much healthier and happier.

    Food intolerance or allergies could also trigger migraines.

    I hope your husband is willing to make the effort to find the root of his illness.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    You sound like a gem.

    People are getting bent out of shape over this comment, but I kind of have to agree with her. I understand the OP must be in a hard place, however, if I were her husband and I knew she was venting and complaining about me on a website to total strangers, I would be mad. She needs to a) talk to her husband about how she feels, not total strangers on MFP and b) get him help.

    You know, I must have missed it. I thought she was paying her a compliment. :indifferent:
  • Val_from_OH
    Val_from_OH Posts: 447 Member
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    Hiring someone will be a huge help to you and your hubs. It sounds like you both have a lot on your plate, even when he is well, and the stress can trigger migraines. Also, explain to him how overwhelming it can be when he is laid up, and that he must go to the doctor to try to get some help.

    I had the reverse situation when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was so naseous and sick every day that by the time I got home from work, I really couldn't function. My husband was left to care for our 2 year old and the house. I got some medicine that helped with the nausea, and we hired a housekeeper, but it was still a LONG 9 months.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    i come here to log my food and exercise......excuse me for not giving a #%@# about this......
    You're lost then. This is the "Chit-chat, fun, and games" area. Make your way back to your logging pages.
  • JoshuaL86
    JoshuaL86 Posts: 403 Member
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    You sound like a gem.

    People are getting bent out of shape over this comment, but I kind of have to agree with her. I understand the OP must be in a hard place, however, if I were her husband and I knew she was venting and complaining about me on a website to total strangers, I would be mad. She needs to a) talk to her husband about how she feels, not total strangers on MFP and b) get him help.

    You know, I must have missed it. I thought she was paying her a compliment. :indifferent:

    She may have been, I read it as a little sarcastic lol.
  • jennkain97
    jennkain97 Posts: 290 Member
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    You sound like a gem.

    People are getting bent out of shape over this comment, but I kind of have to agree with her. I understand the OP must be in a hard place, however, if I were her husband and I knew she was venting and complaining about me on a website to total strangers, I would be mad. She needs to a) talk to her husband about how she feels, not total strangers on MFP and b) get him help.

    where do you get off calling yourself "PASTORJosh"?! when someone comes to MFP looking for support, that's what we should be giving her. fitness is not entirely about diet and exercise, but also STRESS plays a significant role in our health. if you can't be supportive, why be here at all?
  • sunshinedazed
    sunshinedazed Posts: 61
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    i come here to log my food and exercise......excuse me for not giving a #%@# about this......

    Then stay off the forums..? Most especially, the forum that has absolutely nothing to do with weight loss. :)
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    That's why it's in CHIT CHAT, fun, and games. You were not forced to come to this post, read it or respond. If you didn't give a #%@#, then you could have kindly moved on and kept your *kitten* to yourself.
    You beat me to it!
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    She may have been, I read it as a little sarcastic lol.
    Appeared sarcastic to me!
  • CourtLiv
    CourtLiv Posts: 68 Member
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    ...
  • amandab1669
    amandab1669 Posts: 86 Member
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    It sounds really frustrating for both you and your husband. You sound overwhelmed. If you can afford it, I would hire someone to help you. It may also help for you to attend a support group for people with significant others who have chronic disease. The fact that you are able to identify your feelings and a solution is commendable.

    Great advice .

    I totally agree. Please hire someone to help you if you can afford it. You really need to help yourself before you can help anybody else. Also, make sure your husband is doing all he can to help himself. You can only do so much. It is very hard and stressful having someone importnant to you in your life that is ill and it takes its toll on you. But remember you can't help anybody else if you don't take care of yourself first. Good luck and keep us posted :smile:
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,279 Member
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    I cant stop laughing at "you sound like a gem"

    Best answer ever
  • jnite
    jnite Posts: 108 Member
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    He has seen doctors, he goes to the chiropractor and I did talk him into seeing a massage therapist. He has pretty much done it all to try to get help. It seems he will be good for a while, then go through a few bad months, so it's not all bad. Just having a bad few months right now....Sometimes it just feels better to talk about it. If anyone has suggestions to help with the migraines, we also believe that the stomach problems are "stomach migraines", something that is just now getting out there, so if anyone knows about them any info would be wonderful. I will get over this frustration, just typing it has helped, and hiring somebody will help too. Thanks again!:flowerforyou:
  • JoshuaL86
    JoshuaL86 Posts: 403 Member
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    You sound like a gem.

    People are getting bent out of shape over this comment, but I kind of have to agree with her. I understand the OP must be in a hard place, however, if I were her husband and I knew she was venting and complaining about me on a website to total strangers, I would be mad. She needs to a) talk to her husband about how she feels, not total strangers on MFP and b) get him help.

    where do you get off calling yourself "PASTORJosh"?! when someone comes to MFP looking for support, that's what we should be giving her. fitness is not entirely about diet and exercise, but also STRESS plays a significant role in our health. if you can't be supportive, why be here at all?

    Being supportive and sypmathetic doesn't mean I have to agree with the avenue she took to vent, does it? I did not trash her, I did not call her names, I just shared with her that it may best to talk to her husband about how she feels ( which is the truth ), and not total strangers on MFP. I stated a fact, if I were her husband and I knew she was venting and complaining about me over the internet to total strangers, I would be mad. The truth is not always convenient.

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